I jinxed It!!

 I wrote yesterday about how nice it was to sleep until the alarm went off. But this morning, here I am awake at 5:20am again. This smart ring says I slept a solid 6 hours, and my numbers were pretty good this morning. I guess I will just keep my regular routine and deal with some early mornings. No sense in trying to readjust my routine for an hour.

I did send over to RM a review of this smart ring and app. I have never really went for these things be it a ring, watch, or whatever. I just don't think that they could give an accurate measurement all the time. This ring proved me wrong. Today is the third day I have worn it and what it does measure, that I check each day, is fairly spot on. And the other measures it does, I would guess those numbers reflect pretty accurately, too. This morning the ring was down to like 42% charge, so I took it off and placed it for charge, but it could probably go for about 4 days before needing one. My phone, not so much. With the app active all the time, my phone is about 40% lower on charge at the end of the day. I guess I may have to start plugging it in during the day ... I did ask RM if she needed the product back, but haven't heard. I imagine her saying no, as the ring is large enough for only one of my fingers, but would be large on hers. She had a second one as well, that she was going to have my Brother use/try, but I don't know if she has has had the chance to talk to him about it and give it to him. Price-wise it isn't bad.

No answer to my dilemma regarding the Riders Convention. Not my problem, except it is dire that I be there. But I really hope it stays on the 27th, as this Saturday is the Grandson's (Doc's) 1st birthday, and the Middle Son is having a come and go pool party things. I am looking forward to seeing him again, even if the beard scares him a bit. He needs to get used to being around me more, so he will not cry when I hold him.

I have a psychologist meeting this morning. The previous ones with this doctor didn't last long - around 15 minutes I guess, so this one will probably be about the same. The scheduling for my paracentesis for today was somehow entered wrong with scheduling, and I had to reschedule it. The best I could get was Friday at 1pm. I'm starting to hit the uncomfortable, disturbing discomfort level the past couple of days. Only two more to go...

I have been struggling for a little while now about accepting a Higher Power. This is a big thing in the AA 12-steps. My memories I have of being off/on church attenders for years, and in my early teens accepted Christ, and followed faithfully. Then after I got out of high school, marries, and 1st kid, I do not know but my relationship with God just went away. I lost faith? I "didn't have time" for Him? I don't know. Either way it has been somewhat hard revisiting, rebuilding, and renewing that relationship. Some parts of me still hold back, and I don't believe that that would  be full acceptance. Stuff for RM to pray about, and me to work on. Kinda funny that these past few days, my AA meetings have talked about acceptance of the Higher Power, and another time it was open-mindedness to the acceptance of God, so I have some things to ponder.

And I think that will be it today. Nothing planned except this one short appointment this morning.

PeacE

Misplaced Thoughts, Gripes, and-Look! Squirrel!!

 Yesterday morning I woke (though early) and made myself look at this week in a positive way. I had nothing going on that should cause any issues for me, so it should be a good week. That lasted about four hours.

I received a text from Banner Hospital (where I go for the paracentesis when I need one) to remind me of the upcoming Wednesday appointment at 9am. Brakes screeched to a halt. I have had the time set for 11am on my calendar for a couple weeks at least. I think when I was canceling a previous appointment, and setting up new ones weeks out, someone moved this one maybe as the 9am slot opened up for me. I don't know, but I need a draining this week. I have a Zoom meeting with a doctor at 9am though, so the call was made to scheduling. This close to Wednesday, I knew it would be hard to get what time I wanted, and in the end, I had to settle on Friday at 1pm. So two extra days and a few hours. It's going to be fun seeing if I can get through the week. I am pretty distended now, and it is starting to get very uncomfortable, ad some pain like when I roll over (shifting the fluid around, etc.). Sigh. But I did also make sure I had appts scheduled for the next three weeks.

A few minutes of breathing to calm down and get back into a positive mindset and the day went on. I did an AA meeting. I was complimented after the meeting, which surprised me. I have been attending meetings with this group for about two months now, and consider it my Home Group. A few of the people know just a little of my medical stuff, as it is part of my sharing experience. Well, one of the 'regulars' commented that I was an amazing person. That I could be feeling the lousiest, hurting the most, whatever, and I am always positive and open at Group. I don't take compliments well, but I swallowed it and said Thank You. I had to spend a few minutes getting my ego back down to normal size... 

Riders meeting last night. Oh boy, the stress started up. Discussed the Riders Dinner plans for July, then voted to go to having the dinners once per quarter rather than monthly. With the same 5-6 people doing it constantly, we are getting burn-out, so this will help on that front until we can truly build up our roster. Our past Director received some information about the bylaws to be voted on this year and shared with the group. I have many questions going on in my head. I did print out the proposed bylaws so I can try to read through it today and write down my questions. There is supposed to be a Riders State Convention on the 27th, at my Post, but there is a huge scheduling conflict already. I reached out to Post leadership about it 0 no answers yet. Seems we need to have a state convention to vote to accept these National bylaws prior to the official vote in late July. Several big changes, most I like, but still. I came home a bit stressed about all this. I am the Secretary, and it will add more to my workload, especially of stuff I *don't* know the procedure or who to report it to. I am sure this will be discussed more later on.

The other parts of the day were good though, and I did sleep well last night, all the way to the alarm this morning! I have been working on a review for a smart ring and app. Today is Day Two wearing it, and I pretty wrapped up my thoughts on the product. Will be submitting it today. Longest review I ever wrote I think.

Today is an open day on the calendar. Probably will do the AA meeting later this morning. At some point this week I need to write up the minutes from last night's meeting, but there is not an extreme rush on it. Friday is a luncheon for my AA group to meet up and in person. I was debating  on going. The only hold back is that it is 'downtown' (Thomas/22nd St area) and if you figure we leave there about 2-3 puts me into rush hour. Now I cannot go as Friday at 1pm is my paracentesis, same as the luncheon. I mentioned it before the meeting yesterday, and I guess one of the guys does the printing for hats, or something to do with them, and he had some freebies to give out to those who show up. Well, I wanted a ballcap, so mentioned it to him. He just ask I text him my address and he would send me one since I couldn't make it. Woot!

Applying for disability and being approved has helped so much, even in just the last month. I have brought my account at Mayo to a currently 0 balance. Started a payment plan for 6 months with the hospital, less than $500/month, to bring that current total to 0, paid off all the smaller medical, dental, etc. for the Wife and I both. And still have a bit leftover. I mentioned to the Wife last night we are just going to build on the leftover each month from my check, save it up for future big medical - like if my transplant doesn't happen until after Jan. 1, when deductibles reset. So doing well on that front.

Welp, the Wife just left for work. I am running out of thoughts for right now. I am sure RM will be checking for my post anytime now. Y'all have a good one!

PeacE

What is Wrong With Me?

 Here we are again. Awake at a 4:45am and unable to go back to sleep. Seems like this is like the fourth or fifth day in a row it has happened. I mean, I do like getting the sleep I do get, compared to the insomnia issues I was having for years, but this is just frustrating. By noon time I am wanting a nap, but don't because I want to sleep well that evening. Doesn't seem to have made a difference, so maybe today I will try like a 30-minute nap and see what happens tonight.

Not racing today to beat RM in getting a post up. She has already ceded the contest. Just some fun because we were both waking earlier than our normal.

The only thing I have on my calendar for today is the Riders meeting this evening. I did complete and send out the Agenda yesterday later in the day. Only one correction was needed, and it wasn't big enough to re-edit and send out, so just corrected it by hand on my 10 copies I printed. Of course I did edit the document, so it is properly marked for record-keeping. Not much on the Agenda, but a couple bigger topics need to be addressed.

I have a Zoom meeting Wednesday morning with the Psychologist, followed by a paracentesis at 11am. I need it. I have been uncomfortable the last two days, and I stick out like a petite woman having triplets. I'll feel so much better when I get drained.

I need to go around to some Goodwill stores. I am looking for an office chair. The one I have now was a Christmas present, and has had the warranty (now expired) used once to get an equivalent replacement. Now the floor here in my office is painted concrete, so rollers are a necessity. From there it is comfort and 'wants'. If I hit a couple stores and not find anything, I may go to Staples (where original chair was from) and see what they have at a reasonable price.

Saturday, my grandson, Doc, turns one! The Middle Son is having a little come and go type party between the pool and his apartment. I signed up to bring a veggie or fruit tray. Need to find a gift that I am able to get before Saturday. Papaw been slacking... Hoping the Daughter and family will be up for it, but not sure. They are in Missouri for a weeding this weekend. Maybe the Oldest Son will show as well. Youngest is riding with us.

Here's a bit of a pisser ... So the party is Saturday starting about noon. I noticed on our VFW Post calendar, the is a VFW Riders State meeting scheduled 1-4pm at my Post. First I ever knew of it. It does say tentative, so not sure what is happening, but if it happening, I need to be there. So much for seeing the family. Sigh. Going to have to reach out for more info I guess. I just messaged the Jr. Vice Commander to ask for any details. There's a problem if this is happening, as our Chapter never received any information about the meeting, let alone it being at our Post. There is so much going regarding the Riders right now, I get frustrated at times trying to sort out, prepare for, etc. these new changes.

Well, I need to go to the Reading Room for a bit. Y'all have a good one!

PeacE

The Race is On ...

 The past couple days or so, it seems RM and I have been waking earlier than our alarms. I'm talking like two hours ahead for me, and at least an hour for RM. Either way, it has seemed like a race to see who is able to get their post for the day up, for the other to read. I might win today. Not that there is any prize, just some 'friendly competition'. After all, you cannot write good, quality, poignant posts if you are just typing away.

Either way, it is Sunday morning, and I woke about 5am. Laid there for about 20 minutes before ceding the wake-up. Will see later how the Wife is doing, if she is going to go to church this morning or not. IF she is, I would like to go, but I am in enough discomfort with the abdomen distended right now, I kind of do not want to go. Thank goodness I set my paracentesis appointments out like three weeks. Who knows how hard it would have been to get one this week. I have a psychologist meeting for Mayo on Wednesday. Next Wednesday is some bloodwork, nurse visit and then appointment with one of the doctors on my team. That should be it then, I hope. Well, at least enough for them to put me on the waiting list. I noticed the other day my MELD is still at 16.

I didn't do much yesterday. The Wife had a dental cleaning around 11am. I think I had mentioned a couple weeks ago, that I had tried to reach out to the dentist's office, but no one answered, and it was locked down when I stopped by there. Well, found out more specific details as to what happened. The office shares a parking lot with a cat hospital. the hospital had been broken into, trashed, etc. Also fairly recently, the dentist office had had someone(s) steal the4 copper wiring/piping from the A/C unit. Insurance covered and repaired that, then it happened again. I guess the insurance isn't going to cover it again, especially so soon after the first time. So the Dentist is working out of another dental office, just a couple miles further from our house, a couple days of the week, to keep what clientele they can as they decide what to do. This other dental office is owned by the Dentist's brother, also a dentist. The Wife said she got the impression from the Dentist that he is going to close the office, and just practice with his brother at this other location. I am not sure I even like this guy. I may shop around for a dentist I won't freak out about (I truly dislike dentists in general - I think it the whole 'poking a needle in me where I cannot see it'). Luckily <knocking on wood> the toothache I have had has not flared up in the past couple weeks, so I might have a little time before I need to get it done.

And the Wife brought lunch home when she finished her appointment. Some Chino Bandito!! Man, I think my 'usual' has gotten spicier! Or maybe it had been awhile since we have had Chino's. I could only eat half. Did the other half for dinner. Still have some hamburgers and hot dogs from the other night. Yeah, the Wife and may not have to cook at all today as well! I do need to get the Agenda done for the Riders meeting tomorrow night, but there isn't much to really put on there so shouldn't take too long.

I think I will kill some time this morning playing a video game. Oh, and here is some music, because of the post title ...

Man, I watched that video (music starts about the 1:40 mark) and the 80's hair styles....

PeacE

Crickets and Flies ...

 Yesterday started off fairly nice. There was a cloud cover that looked like it wanted to try to rain, but this being the Valley, of course it didn't. I planned my morning out the day before - pick-up from Fry's the remainder of items I needed for the Riders Dinner, then head to RM's to visit while PT was out for his Men's group and friend visitation. It was a good visit (as most are) as we sat in her 'office' (spare room) and chatted while she was was watching/checking her work computer for anything that might come along that needs her attention. In the three hours or so we had together, I think we covered several topics. I even learned a little more about RM, believe it or not. PT looked (to me) like he was butt-hurt that I had been there visiting there without him being home. Oh well. Sorry, Charlie! (Remember that commercial?)

So. around one I left there and headed to the Post. Unloaded my food stuff and had an iced tea, then played on my tablet until about four. There was only 4 of us to work the whole dinner last night, but it went on okay. Our numbers of attendees went way down from other dinners, and not sure why. I know the VFW had the Western Convention in Tucson this weekend down in Tucson, but Leadership rarely participates in the dinners we put on (even the Cmdr. who is the Treasurer of our chapter). One lady did buy 6 meals, so that helped put us in a small profit zone. It was crickets chirping from about 5:15 until we wrapped up about 6:30. I ended up taking home the cooked meats at the end. About a dozen burgers, both with and without cheese, and a handful of beef hot dogs. Took home a package of buns for both, 1 (of 2) buckets of potato salad w/mustard, and another I picked up for personal - it's the same thing, but "Southern Style" so I want to see/taste the difference. A paragraph for another day.

The Wife and I had a discussion last night. At the end, I admitted I wanted to think on it for a day at least before offering my thoughts. Unfortunately for you , the reader, I cannot share this here, regardless of anonymity. RM and I touched this topic yesterday in our visit, and we are on the same page, but there have been some developments. RM has powerful prayers, and I know my Son needs it right now. No, no one there is hurt, just other things going on. So, RM, we may have to do a lunch again pretty soon.

This weekend the only thing I have on my "to-do" list is the Agenda for the Riders meeting on Monday evening. Today, the Wife has a dental appointment near noon. Since I have nothing on my calendar, I will probably do my Twice Gifted meeting at 9am, and then my home AA Group at 11am. I'll wrap it up about when the Wife will be headed back home. She might even pick up lunch... what do I want....? I'm thinking Subway. I got burgers at home, so no burger place. Wife had Arby's for lunch yesterday, so that is out. She won't be near Chino Bandito, so that's out. That pretty much leaves subs, and there are more Subways than Jersey Mikes or Jimmy Johns here. I will have to ask her before she leaves.

So, you know the crickets. What about the flies? Well, I want to be a fly on the wall for a particular conversation that is to take place soon. No details! Just wanna be a fly for a bit ....

... and with that, I am out of here. I am feeling a bit of discomfort with the abdomen area today. The belly is distended pretty good, and I don't have the Paracentesis until Wednesday. Might be 10L then - that's the max they can drain per doctors orders. I can do this. Only a handful of days. At least it isn't brutal pain ... that is to come...

PeacE

I'm Free!

 Today I make myself sound busy. Last night I set up a Frys order to be picked up at 8am (stuff for Riders Dinner) and then I am headed out west to ol' Sin City ... I mean, Sun City ... to visit with RM this morning while PT Is not home. From there I'll probably grab lunch somewhere, then head to the Post early.

Riders Dinners. Riders Meetings. I'm starting to get frustrated with the Riders (our chapter). I know we barely started a year ago, but only 7-8 people show to the meetings, even fewer sign-up to help with the dinners - be it picking up or making food, or just to help set-up and clean-up. I think at our next meeting (Monday) I am going to bring up that I am no longer going to "lead" the dinner stuff. I would like to delegate to someone to do that, but no one shows up to meetings. The whole catch-22 ...

It'll be a nice visit this morning with RM. I am not headed there for any reason other than to visit - no exciting news (I wish it were) or anything ... just a visit.

Okay, enough from Negative Nellie. I need to work on being more positive about my outlook in general.

PeacE

Another Free Day ...

 ... sorta. I have nothing on my calendar today. I still need to get buns for tomorrow's dinner. My Brother will be grilling for us (pre-warning RM) but at least his Wife is out of town and not going to be there. I shouldn't speak badly about her, (as RM says, erase, erase, erase).

I did not hear from Mayo yesterday. I got to thinking about this week. Tuesday late afternoon, Mayo did call twice moving up a couple appointments. Are those requirements on their side of getting me on the list? If so, the second one isn't until the 24th, so it may be 2-3 weeks before it goes to the Council. I am in limbo, aside from making the appointments they schedule for me. It's in God's hands though, so whatever will be, will be. I have committed to the transplant fully, and will see it through, if the doctors still say I need it. I'm not anxious or scared, just need these 'stages' (like waiting to get on the list) to be marked so mentally I may prepare for the next hurdle. That make sense?

I think I will wait until tomorrow to get the buns. I want to be sure I will be able to take the call if it comes at whatever point today. If I do it right, I may visit with RM (minus PT) and then go to the store. Will have to check in with her to get times.

... and because I did nothing pretty much yesterday (played video games, watched Season 3 of 'Jack Ryan') I will do it again today as I didn't finish doing nothing yesterday.

PeacE