Let's Give Them Something To Talk About....

 Have you been the grape on the vine that people talk about? The rumors don't come to you, you are the rumor. Personally, I try to avoid the gossip mill, and where possible, change the direction of conversation, or walk away. I've kind of been a 'straight from the horse's mouth' when it comes to people spreading their stories. Lately, I have become that fat grape hanging on the vine, that people are talking about. Not everyone, but enough anyways.

Last night was the VFW Riders meeting. But I was there early (as usual) to "get into the mindset" and have a tea. I'm sitting at the bar in the Canteen, playing some game on my tablet to pass the time. There are about 5-6 others in there that I have good relationships with. Anyways, I dropped the stylus to my tablet. It landed on the footwell in front of me. Before I could even get my butt off the chair, Four of the guys are walking over saying 'I got ya Ralph' or 'Need help getting that?' or just coming over to help. I got angry. There wasn't time to cool this one down. I basically raised my voice and hollared 'I ain't dead yet, ya dumbasses. I can pick up a pen that is right in front of me. It's not like I'm so invalid I cannot do anything for myself'.' I bent over and picked it up. I continued, 'It's a damn transplant, not a march to my death!' Now these guys are Vets, and of course this outburst doesn't faze them. One guy did respond back something along the lines of 'but we want you around here longer.' Boy, if he only knew what he'd be asking for!

As the evening wore on, I felt bad, then stupid, then knowing I was wrong to have snapped at them like that, I went to apologize. I caught two of them that hadn't left, and they were like "pfft, wasn't nothing'. But I made amends, pretty quickly, after knowing I was wrong in my actions. I'm sure by next Tuesday there will be something going around about how I bit the heads off everyone for no reason, or some wrong answer. Sigh. Rumor mills.

RM's favorite phrase from me: I am bored. There's nothing to do. That's how I have been feeling since Saturday. Without my main desktop, I cannot play video games, picture is smaller, I don't mistype as much, as well as having the externals hooked up (speakers, camera, etc.) that using this laptop is frustrating. I did get it up to Data Doctors yesterday morning, but I know they won't even look at it until today. So I am hoping for a phone call that says it is fixed, and didn't cost more than what I already paid. Yes, I admit, it is one of my prayer items this morning. 

But I am happy that I do have a laptop available. I managed to hook the sound system to it, the camera, a working external drive (tried to play s games from it, but it reads too slow). I am able to do things easier than just from the phone. And I can stream movies/shows. So I have been catching up on some series, as the next season will be dropping soon, or just to see if I like them. My movie list has gone down quite a number as well, though it seems most of these movie are not to my liking, and I don't finish them. Trailers do a good job of making a movie look really good sometimes.

And with that, I am out of here.

PeacE

I Broked It

 Saturday, I got back to trying to get these new external drives to cooperate with my computer. Late in the morning, I did something, I have no idea what, that now my computer will boot up to BIOS, and no matter any changes, when restarted, back to BIOS. I walked into the bedroom wiping my heads like a was done - and I was. I told the Wife I am going to take it in to Data Doctors on Monday. Let's see them hopefully get my regular computer back to working, and maybe format a couple of these external drives. Need the second one for my laptop to back-up my VFW stuff.

A couple days without the computer. Easy Peasey. I whipped out the laptop, so I do have limited access. Finished up the meeting agenda for tonight's Riders meeting. I was able to take care of a few other needed things as well. I don't know if I will have time, but going to try to get the camera (from the regular computer) on the laptop, as it gives a better picture. I have a Zoom call with the Psych Doc today. I also skipped my meetings this weekend. I don't know what it is, but I just do not like the camera on the laptop. I did take the sound system from the regular computer and got it on the Laptop, so at least I could watch a movie and hear things.

So, here's to hoping they are able to fix it all today. I am getting a little antsy to play my video game. In fact, tried to put it on the laptop, but not enough space - go figure. Posting will lbe skimpy, but know I am okay.

PeacE

Caveat Emptor

 Wow! Who knew that I could know Latin - or even spell it! Today's title reads "Buyer Beware" and I have heard this a lot over the years, especially when working real estate. It makes sense. Buyers should verify their purchase is up to their standards, whether they make any compromises or not. And once again, I have dove headfirst into this rabbit hole...

Several years ago I had purchased an external hard drive for my computer. It was only 1Tb, but to the common man (read noon-geek/nerd) this was a lot of space! Additionally, I got it for sale at CostCo. It is still working today, and has lasted through two other computers. Well, it has reached it's capacity (I won't say anything but, who wants to save 500 million pictures of sunsets and flowers? I know someone...). Being the day and age we are in, I started looking for like a 2Tb, maybe 4Tb external drive, This would be used 'in addition to' the one I have hooked up already.

Computer sites were very pricey. Amazon was not much cheaper. So let's go to the cheapest ... Temu. I found a nice 4Tb for a very low price, and bought it. After a couple weeks it finally showed up and I hooked it up to the computer. Plug 'n play seemed to work as the computer found the drive. I started transferring over the next few days some files of the main drive, that I had been holding for more space. After a couple weeks, I happened to check the folder of somethings I had moved. The folder was empty. All the folders were empty. And now, I couldn't move/copy anything to that drive. I need that space from somewhere to make room. At Temu I found another 4Tb. Cha-Ching! The next day, I found another 4Tb for a few dollars even lower ...yes, I bought it. I had purchased a few other smaller things as well.

Yesterday was payday at my front door. Both external drives showed up. Went to plug it in - no plug n play. I pulled out the 28 page booklet that had 1 page of English, stating it needed to be formatted before use. Okay, I have done that before...on like 286's, with an internal drive, shouldn't be hard. I even looked up instructions for Win 11 to be sure I did it right. I can get the computer to recognize that there is a drive there, but it won't format or partition it. Keeps popping up some Windows error. I try looking up the error, and it circles me back around to the beginning again. I found a free program that will do all this for you, so I d/l'ed it and it started to work, but again, could not format/partition. I'm getting frustrated. I unhook that one, hook the other new one up. Same exact problem. After three hours of messing with it all, I knew I needed to step back, calm down, and go surfing the web for maybe some other information that could help.

I did go to lunch with my AA Home Group at Chili's. There ended up being about 10 of us, three whom I had not met yet in person. I had 2 side salads (the regular ones looked yucky) and though I shouldn't I did get a piece of the peanut butter pie. It was good! We had a good time laughing and joking around, plus sharing some details we may not want to share in actual group. I was asked quite a bit about my whole liver thing, which I downplayed and said I am just waiting for the week after 10/8 to see if I made the list (which is true). It was after lunch I did the computer thing.

I finished out the evening playing my video game, and putting off the agenda I need to write up for Monday's meeting. It will get done sometime this weekend. It's for the Riders, so I am thinking there is not much to put on there, as we are almost in limbo for now.

And to that, I bid Adieu (Wow! I do French, too!) to you all. I am sure I will be frustrated today as I try to work on this computer issue. The things to look forward to doing...

PeacE

Some Conversation at Last!

 I gave up and took one of my sleeping pills the other night. Needless to say, they work well. I was out until about 11:30a yesterday, woke feeling well-rested. I also woke feeling sort of groggy (side effect of the pill). Thinking I'm good and at the 'full' line for rest, went to bed last night at a decent hour. Then it was like being on the sea - I tossed and turned it seemed most of the night. It didn't help that inher sleep, the Wife kneed my in the stomach a couple times - that hurt! I know it isn't her fault (maybe?) but it is what it is. And now I am up at 5am.

Mayo contacted me yesterday? Maybe the afternoon before, via message in the portal. The nurse said they had gotten my labs in, and based on those results the doctor (which one?) did not want to change any of my medications at this time. She did ask how the swelling from the edema was, so I wrote back that it has barely receded, I'm distended. I do not have a paracentesis scheduled until next week, but at this time, I am not in pain from the pressure, just uncomfortable - but that could be the edema on the sides of my abdomen area, too. The nurse did apologize (in words) about the state of the edema, and how I was feeling, following up with see you in a few weeks (10/8 appointment). Sigh. It gets closer day by day. Monday I have a Zoom appointment with the team psychologist, which usually lasts about 15 minutes. Then it is sitting on my hands until the 8th.

In the past year, I know I have made the comment, or at least thought it, that my life is like Job's. He was the one that God allowed Satan to do whatever to, except touch him, to show Job's unwavering devotion to God. Job last everything: I think it was 7 sons, and 3 daughters; extensive herds of goats and livestock, hi home, his financial standing, and my comparison, his health. I picked this book to read daily because I felt that comparison, which with just the above information, doesn't really match at all. I'm only on chapter 10, where Job is very ill and is speaking with his two friends that came to him, so I am sure I will know more of " the rest of the story" over the next few weeks.

I'm working on a book titled 'Drop the Rock' which is an AA aid for steps 6 & 7. I am just short of halfway, and already have picked up some usual information. I have then next book as well, that helps with Step 10, but before I get to that one, I will start "The Circle Maker" that RM gave me for my birthday. I am anxious to start it, but trying to keep the discipline of finishing a book before I start another. My reading has decreased astronomically compared to last year, that if I pick a book up, I will now finish it before starting another, because it takes me longer to get through them. I have one last journal book I like that I saving for that book.

Had a nice visit with the Middle and GSon the other morning. Doc, the GSon, is getting better about being around bearded people I guess, as he did give smiles to me, let me pat his back and even got a high-five, but there is still no way he was letting me hold him. Soon Papaw, soon.

Today I actually have plans! With Adults! My AA Homegroup is meeting for lunch. This is the group's designated quarterly lunch they get together for through the year. I went to a non-sanctioned one (special invite) and met several of the regulars a few short months ago, and had a great time. Today, we are meeting at the Chili's about a mile from my house - talk about convenient!! So, yeah, I'm there. I'll have to look at the menu before I go to figure out what I'll have, since eating and me are in the ring again. Hopefully they will have a salad I like. Plus, I get conversation! I spend most of my days at home when I have no appointments or errands. Mainly because was asked by Mayo to not drive due to the encephalopathy. So I have slowly relinquished my keys. Youngest takes me, or on off days, and special appointments, the Wife does. Big change from me being the one driving all the time (which the Wife prefers). But being home all day doesn't allow for a lot of conversation. Sure we talk a little before and after group meetings, but that is like 20 minutes at most. So no conversation per se. I admit, I could probably find and meet people on Discord, but not sure if I really want to - it's a whole catch-22. But I'll get an hour plus of adult conversation today. 

And I suppose I should tie this up and get it posted.

PeacE

Early to bed, Early to rise ... oh, Snap!

 Having not slept so good the past few nights, I decided I was going to go to bed early last night versus popping a pill to force myself out. I think it was about 9:30-10 when I shut my eyes. And opened them at 6am. Ugh. I did get a couple extra hours sleep, and I do feel more rested this morning. I just would like things to get back on a more even keel. I blame the whole liver thing for this, and other problems.

I feel okay today. Aside from the edema related effects/pains, I am not noticing anything else wrong. They could be covering up something, but I don't want to start playing the guessing game. I just need to get this edema down.

Yesterday in my regular AA group, we found out one of the regular members had passed away on Sunday. She wasn't local, and Zoom called in from Eastern Oregon. I have seen her many times at different meetings, and she had several years of sobriety, knowledge, and faith in God. I did not know her well, as we didn't talk one on one. There was about half the women in the group that had been sponsored through this lady, or reached out to her for help, so they were extremely upset. And even some of the older guys that have been around for years were crying some. Whatever topic we had was not happening, and the hour was spent remembering this lady. Near the end, Dave (who was hosting) called on me. He said he was interested in how we, as a group and individually, handle the grief of this situation, as he too, knew her a long while and was having issues.

I immediately said I was not a counselor nor a therapist, or even qualified to give "medical" advice on the subject, but here are my thoughts. And as I took my allotted 3 minutes, there was some head nodding, so I was getting through to some people. As the timer went off, and I muted myself, Dave spoke up saying to the group that this was actually some good advice, and if anyone wanted to follow it, feel free. Then there was the usual "reach out" if you need to especially if you feel like drinking. As the day went on, this kept popping back in my mind was did I give good advice? I kind of just blanked my mind and let words come out my mouth. They sure sounded right for a was to deal with grief. And we know everyone deals with it differently.

I've been snacking well since Saturday! The several pickle-flavored snacks RM gave me for my birthday have been being tested and enjoyed! The spicy Chex mix was soooo good, I need to find more of it. It's gone. The Dill Slim Jims are still here and are really good. Trail mix....I couldn't taste and dill/pickle to it, but it is trail mix so always good. I think I still have half a container. I can't eat the suspenders...and I can't remember off the top of my head if there was one other food item. But I do like all of them. Restraint has been difficult. Thanks RM!

And with that, I am closing out. Middle Son just got here with Doc (the token grandson) and I wan to visit a little before he heads home.

PeacE

Should Have Taken The Pill

 Another tired morning. I didn't get my nap in yesterday, so thought I would sleep well last night. But I ended up awake at 1:30a still, and knew it was too late to take a sleeping pill, as I would be groggy all of today if I did. So slept in until just after 8am. Of course, that messes with my "routine" and I am just winging it this morning.

... and I still have nothing of mind to write about today. So, until tomorrow...

PeacE

Short and ... *snore*

 I'm tired this morning. Due to a family matter, I woke multiple times during the night, in which I prayed regarding the matter. All said, I was in bed for about 4 hours. Deep sleep? Not even close. And as I look now, I see I let my smart ring go dead, so no sleep chart it puts out. Sigh.

The Wife is off work today. She has a medical video call this morning, then has to fast until early afternoon when she goes in for an MRI, and a mammogram. I asked if she would like me along and though she hmm-hawed, she said no. All I would do is sit in the waiting room. But I brought up the possible need for a driver, and she said it shouldn't be required.

I'll be piddling around my computer I guess today.

... and taking a nap.

PeacE