Some Conversation at Last!

 I gave up and took one of my sleeping pills the other night. Needless to say, they work well. I was out until about 11:30a yesterday, woke feeling well-rested. I also woke feeling sort of groggy (side effect of the pill). Thinking I'm good and at the 'full' line for rest, went to bed last night at a decent hour. Then it was like being on the sea - I tossed and turned it seemed most of the night. It didn't help that inher sleep, the Wife kneed my in the stomach a couple times - that hurt! I know it isn't her fault (maybe?) but it is what it is. And now I am up at 5am.

Mayo contacted me yesterday? Maybe the afternoon before, via message in the portal. The nurse said they had gotten my labs in, and based on those results the doctor (which one?) did not want to change any of my medications at this time. She did ask how the swelling from the edema was, so I wrote back that it has barely receded, I'm distended. I do not have a paracentesis scheduled until next week, but at this time, I am not in pain from the pressure, just uncomfortable - but that could be the edema on the sides of my abdomen area, too. The nurse did apologize (in words) about the state of the edema, and how I was feeling, following up with see you in a few weeks (10/8 appointment). Sigh. It gets closer day by day. Monday I have a Zoom appointment with the team psychologist, which usually lasts about 15 minutes. Then it is sitting on my hands until the 8th.

In the past year, I know I have made the comment, or at least thought it, that my life is like Job's. He was the one that God allowed Satan to do whatever to, except touch him, to show Job's unwavering devotion to God. Job last everything: I think it was 7 sons, and 3 daughters; extensive herds of goats and livestock, hi home, his financial standing, and my comparison, his health. I picked this book to read daily because I felt that comparison, which with just the above information, doesn't really match at all. I'm only on chapter 10, where Job is very ill and is speaking with his two friends that came to him, so I am sure I will know more of " the rest of the story" over the next few weeks.

I'm working on a book titled 'Drop the Rock' which is an AA aid for steps 6 & 7. I am just short of halfway, and already have picked up some usual information. I have then next book as well, that helps with Step 10, but before I get to that one, I will start "The Circle Maker" that RM gave me for my birthday. I am anxious to start it, but trying to keep the discipline of finishing a book before I start another. My reading has decreased astronomically compared to last year, that if I pick a book up, I will now finish it before starting another, because it takes me longer to get through them. I have one last journal book I like that I saving for that book.

Had a nice visit with the Middle and GSon the other morning. Doc, the GSon, is getting better about being around bearded people I guess, as he did give smiles to me, let me pat his back and even got a high-five, but there is still no way he was letting me hold him. Soon Papaw, soon.

Today I actually have plans! With Adults! My AA Homegroup is meeting for lunch. This is the group's designated quarterly lunch they get together for through the year. I went to a non-sanctioned one (special invite) and met several of the regulars a few short months ago, and had a great time. Today, we are meeting at the Chili's about a mile from my house - talk about convenient!! So, yeah, I'm there. I'll have to look at the menu before I go to figure out what I'll have, since eating and me are in the ring again. Hopefully they will have a salad I like. Plus, I get conversation! I spend most of my days at home when I have no appointments or errands. Mainly because was asked by Mayo to not drive due to the encephalopathy. So I have slowly relinquished my keys. Youngest takes me, or on off days, and special appointments, the Wife does. Big change from me being the one driving all the time (which the Wife prefers). But being home all day doesn't allow for a lot of conversation. Sure we talk a little before and after group meetings, but that is like 20 minutes at most. So no conversation per se. I admit, I could probably find and meet people on Discord, but not sure if I really want to - it's a whole catch-22. But I'll get an hour plus of adult conversation today. 

And I suppose I should tie this up and get it posted.

PeacE

Early to bed, Early to rise ... oh, Snap!

 Having not slept so good the past few nights, I decided I was going to go to bed early last night versus popping a pill to force myself out. I think it was about 9:30-10 when I shut my eyes. And opened them at 6am. Ugh. I did get a couple extra hours sleep, and I do feel more rested this morning. I just would like things to get back on a more even keel. I blame the whole liver thing for this, and other problems.

I feel okay today. Aside from the edema related effects/pains, I am not noticing anything else wrong. They could be covering up something, but I don't want to start playing the guessing game. I just need to get this edema down.

Yesterday in my regular AA group, we found out one of the regular members had passed away on Sunday. She wasn't local, and Zoom called in from Eastern Oregon. I have seen her many times at different meetings, and she had several years of sobriety, knowledge, and faith in God. I did not know her well, as we didn't talk one on one. There was about half the women in the group that had been sponsored through this lady, or reached out to her for help, so they were extremely upset. And even some of the older guys that have been around for years were crying some. Whatever topic we had was not happening, and the hour was spent remembering this lady. Near the end, Dave (who was hosting) called on me. He said he was interested in how we, as a group and individually, handle the grief of this situation, as he too, knew her a long while and was having issues.

I immediately said I was not a counselor nor a therapist, or even qualified to give "medical" advice on the subject, but here are my thoughts. And as I took my allotted 3 minutes, there was some head nodding, so I was getting through to some people. As the timer went off, and I muted myself, Dave spoke up saying to the group that this was actually some good advice, and if anyone wanted to follow it, feel free. Then there was the usual "reach out" if you need to especially if you feel like drinking. As the day went on, this kept popping back in my mind was did I give good advice? I kind of just blanked my mind and let words come out my mouth. They sure sounded right for a was to deal with grief. And we know everyone deals with it differently.

I've been snacking well since Saturday! The several pickle-flavored snacks RM gave me for my birthday have been being tested and enjoyed! The spicy Chex mix was soooo good, I need to find more of it. It's gone. The Dill Slim Jims are still here and are really good. Trail mix....I couldn't taste and dill/pickle to it, but it is trail mix so always good. I think I still have half a container. I can't eat the suspenders...and I can't remember off the top of my head if there was one other food item. But I do like all of them. Restraint has been difficult. Thanks RM!

And with that, I am closing out. Middle Son just got here with Doc (the token grandson) and I wan to visit a little before he heads home.

PeacE

Should Have Taken The Pill

 Another tired morning. I didn't get my nap in yesterday, so thought I would sleep well last night. But I ended up awake at 1:30a still, and knew it was too late to take a sleeping pill, as I would be groggy all of today if I did. So slept in until just after 8am. Of course, that messes with my "routine" and I am just winging it this morning.

... and I still have nothing of mind to write about today. So, until tomorrow...

PeacE

Short and ... *snore*

 I'm tired this morning. Due to a family matter, I woke multiple times during the night, in which I prayed regarding the matter. All said, I was in bed for about 4 hours. Deep sleep? Not even close. And as I look now, I see I let my smart ring go dead, so no sleep chart it puts out. Sigh.

The Wife is off work today. She has a medical video call this morning, then has to fast until early afternoon when she goes in for an MRI, and a mammogram. I asked if she would like me along and though she hmm-hawed, she said no. All I would do is sit in the waiting room. But I brought up the possible need for a driver, and she said it shouldn't be required.

I'll be piddling around my computer I guess today.

... and taking a nap.

PeacE

Mom's Are the Best

 Yes, even though I am a Father, Mom's are still better. Especially my Mom. Yesterday she had texted and asked about swinging by to drop off some presents she had gotten for my birthday. I was just playing video games so said sure, and shortly she arrived. The Wife and Youngest greeted her as well. I got a nice bag of little snackies: Chex mix extra spicy dill flavored (I opened this one, and it is good), some dill pickle flavored smaller Slim Jims, a nice sized cannister of dill pickle trail mix (haven't tried it yet) and a new set of suspenders that are black with the American Flag on each strap. I had been thinking recently of getting a second pair of suspenders, so this came at a good time. Lastly, and as I waited for her to arrive I wondered if she would, there was book. This one is "The Circle Maker" and is one of her best reading  recommendations. I'm a bit excited to start it, but would like to finish the one I am on, so I don't get mixed up in my head. I used to able to multi-task reading several books, but cannot at this time with the encephalopathy.

Mom has always enjoyed the fact that I am a big reader, I believe. I recall a few of my school-age years where she had bought books at Christmas for me, and that went on into my early twenties. Then I told her to stop. She was doing the best she could in a genre that is predictable and in my mind, overly repetitive of morals and ethics and Christian philosophy. In short, I was not enjoying them, and I was tired of the whole churchy-vibe I got when reading them. I asked for gift cards or money so that I could pick out what I wanted to read. But she did introduce me to C.S. Lewis ("Narnia Chronicles" and a space trilogy I can't remember the name of right this second).

RM has blogged about some indecision with a want and desire to lead a group. She wants to teach what she knows to others. I know with PT's particulars, it makes it difficult (another story). But she has been teaching me for the past few weeks. As I've re-committed my Life, I get to spots where I am not sure what to do. It doesn't have to be like a cult rite, but some guidance (aside from prayer) or suggestion that truly has helped me. When it came to prayer, all I knew was you thank God, You praise God, you ask of God (healing/prayer lists) and that was it. All she gave me was a, I think she said yesterday, 40-year old prayer wheel chart. Believe it or not, it was not a list of orders of structure, but a circle chart. You could start anywhere, but it covered things prayer covers (if that makes sense). It helped me determine how I want to pray. I think I even told her yesterday it helped so much.

Let's not get started yet on the 'just because' things she does, or being willing to drop everything and come help if I ever needed and asked. Our lunches. Our visits together (with or without PT being there). The cookies and home-made pickles...mmmmm. Christmas is coming!

I find little things about me that are similarities of Mom's (keep guessing) and I know it is because she has been a wonderful example of a person these past many years. She's always been there for advice, experience lessons (if she has info to share) and teaching the Bible. I know I fall back on her quite a bit lately, to help me get that first step onto a path that I am not sure what to do. Just that little guidance is beyond words to me (dang it ... allergies are back).

And that is just some of the reasons my Mom is the best.

Go call your Mom (if you can) and tell them you love her.

This message is not paid by Hallmark nor any other Mother's Day card makers.

PeacE

No New Content Here

 I really don't have hardly anything to write about today. I went to the Post for the flag raising, got there like 9:05a and everyone was walking in. Seems I missed it. I had even checked my notes in the morning to be sure of the time, and I had 10a. So I missed it.

Hung out there for a while before heading to get my labs done. Then down the road to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. I was hungry, and it was noonish, I was limited on my choices of food places without having to drive further, so settled for Julioberto's and got a carne asada burrito (and a Patron for Youngest). It was a good choice! When the Wife got home, I still wasn't hungry, so we did a "create your own adventure", and I skipped supper entirely. 

And just like that I am out of anything to write about.

PeacE

Feeling Better Again

 Yesterday, I woke early and felt it. I was extremely tired still, though I had had enough sleep the night before. I could feel the minute changes from having been drained the day before (10.2L) and though it had only been one day, the affect of the medication change from Tuesday. But I just felt 'Blech' as Charlie Brown would say. I held a board meeting of my my sleepy body, and the consensus was to sleep more. So I did. I ended up grabbing a couple more hours of sleep before rising for the day, felling just a smidgen better.

Today is a day of Remembrance for the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers. I got out my VFW Aux shirt several of us had bought months ago for this occasion. There is a flag raising ceremony at the Post this morning at 10a I am going to try to make it to. Afterwards, I need to head up to Banner Hosp. area to SQL to have some labs drawn (per Mayo's orders). There is a pot luck back at the Post this evening about 6p, but am unsure if I will make it back for that.

I was just checking my calendar. After labs today, I have no medical appointments (as of right now) until 9/21 with a Zoom call. Nice. Of course, life still moves on and I have my VFW stuff, my AA meetings, etc. 

... and it seems even I can run out of things to talk about ...

PeacE