The List

 We all have lists: to-do list, grocery list, just to name a couple. We may not write it down, but we know we use one. We experience being on others' lists: shit list, patient list, order list. I never considered a list to be a big thing until just a few short months ago. The one called a Waiting List. Now there are several different kinds of WL. There's the one that you are one waiting to see your PCP in the afternoon. Waiting for you car to be fixed at the garage. Being in line at the store to check-out. My big one lately has been the one for a transplant for a liver.

I started with Mayo back early this year. There was quite a bit of testing to see basically how my whole body is doing. I was deferred from the wait list until I completed some requirements for their program: an IOP (8-weeks long) and start attending AA meetings (ongoing). Only because the liver damage was alcohol related, though I had not had urges to drink at all since September. They wanted me to have vaccinations up to date. That had me quit taking the THC gummies (to help me sleep) back in February on their first call to me. Completed, I waited them to review my case. I was deferred again as they wanted a cardiologist to look at the status of my veins for calcium build-up that could complicate surgery. A month later, I was deferred again and told I had to quit smoking. I quit within days (though I still have urges at times). Then it was a lab result figure that kept me from the list for a couple months.

Tuesday I had another set of labs done (been monthly since day one). Tuesday afternoon I got the call, the result they had been not liking was good now, and I was going to the Selection Comm. on Wednesday to decide if I made the list. The next 24 hours, I was mentally going bonkers. Anxiety, hope, disappointment, fear - all flashed through my mind. What if I make it? What if I don't? Late afternoon on Wednesday I got a call. I had made the List!! I would not be considered Active, so would not be considered for a liver though until they were able to verify with the insurance of coverage for the transplant, and authorizations. That generally takes about a week, plus/minus. Once that is approved, I am officially on the Waiting List and literally, waiting for a liver that meets the criteria for me. I had been told an estimate back in the beginning that with my blood type and body size, it could be as little as 3-5 months waiting. In my transplant support zoom group though, there has been several transplants completed (by/at Mayo Phx) for guys that have been on the list only a couple weeks. So ... who knows? Well, aside from God.

So, I sit and wait for the insurance verification process. I'll sit and wait while on the Waiting List. At this time there is nothing more I can do but try to keep my health from worsening (if possible) until the transplant. And that does not bother me, because at least now, the Wait time is towards a goal.

God and I spent quite a bit of time last night off and on, talking. Well, I talked, he listened. I praised and thanked Him over and over for getting me to and on the Wait List. I asked to calm my emotions, at least until I am officially Active. Earlier in the evening I spent time sending updates to friends and family of the great news, the next step, etc. I asked for prayers that I make it this far be re-directed to finding a liver for me and that the transplant goes well.

And that brings me to this morning. I think you could understand why I am tired and wanting a nap.

PeacE