Up Early Again ...

 ... but this time by choice. The alarm went off at 6am (as planned) and I shut it off. Then I laid there a moment, and dozed back off. I suddenly snapped awake and checked the time. 6:10a - I didn't over sleep. I had the next alarm at 7am, but I wanted time to get my measurements, etc. this morning before the Para. Getting up at 7 I would have to skip all that, and basically, dress then leave. I hate to rush.

Yesterday I went rounds with my buddies nausea, and tiredness. I did take a late nap, was up at 5pm, but still just dragged tiredly through the evening. Nausea was there off and on throughout the day. He's already awake this morning as well. I sure hope he doesn't stop by on Thanksgiving!

Numbers are good this morning. Now to get the Para drain number and see if today will be a better one or not. No other medical until Tuesday, which I am trying to keep off my mind. I have quite a few things invested in results for Tuesday, and I just don't want to get hopes up or down. I have been doing my best to let God deal with it, but I still find myself throughout the day thinking about it. Then remind myself - God's got this.

With that I am going to close out. I need to finish a couple things before I leave.

PeacE

I Got Up For This?

 Not much to drop in here today.

PCP visit went fine. Updated him on prescriptions (though he doesn't order them) and where I am in the transplant process. They did do an A1C and it was 4.8 - my lowest ever! I thought about calling my Sister and bragging, but knew that was the wrong reason to do it.

Headed home I was hungry, and was trying to decide on a place to get breakfast and take home. I finally settled on Jack in the Box, as it was close to home. But as I was coming down the freeway, I missed my exit (off in la-la land) so my exit was next, and there aren't any fast foods there without going back or up the road a mile. Except a QT. Now I loved their dogs, especially when I was working driving the truck all over the West Valley years ago. Plus many mornings we gassed up the car and got breakfast there as we started a trip to Tucson. But yesterday? Oh my. I bought a couple tacquitos, a couple jalapeno/cheese hot dogs, and a Mtn Dew ( I know ... sodium and sugar overload). I got home and started eating and messing on the computer. I couldn't eat the first tacquito. It was just "wrong" tasting. The hot dogs went down fine. I tried a different tacquito I had gotten. It seemed okay, until I finished it. Then it was a quick jog to the bathroom to lose all of it. The rest of the day was spent sipping juice. I could not eat anything and nothing sounded enticing. I skipped the Riders meeting because I was so tired and nauseous, didn't feel up to driving.

So that was my day. Today I am hoping for a better day. I feel an appetite starting to wake up, so maybe there is something I will be able to et this morning. Have my meeting at 11a, and I scheduled a Fry's food pick-up for 1-2 pm. Figured between 12-1 I could get ready and go get my hair cut.

Spoke to RM yesterday morning, and it was decided that she will host, and my family will attend, Thanksgiving at her place. The Daughter and family have the in-laws they need to be with this year, but hoping the older two boys and partners... and DOC! will be able to make it. Next up I need to talk to the Wife and see what we would want to do as a menu. I didn't mention it to RM, but I figured we'd come out early, cook most of the stuff (she can help - she's awesome in the kitchen). I think the two things I could do without are stuffing and the can of cranberry-whatever. I like cranberries, but that gel-like stuff that makes a sucking sound as you shake the can to get it out....<shudder>. And I have never really been big on stuffing. I know the others will want, and that is fine.

And I think I rambled enough....

PeacE

Resting Better

 Since I decided a few days back that I am going to nap when my body says to do so, in addition to regular night sleeping, I have been feeling somewhat better. I hear in the Support group that many pre-transplants start feeling tired all the time, so it is not unusual. Even if it is to just rest for 30-60 minutes and I play games on the tablet...it works.

This morning I have a PCP visit. Nothing major. I am getting the final shots for Hep A & B. I need to update/verify my prescription list with him. Then it will be basically an update where we are in the transplant process. Shouldn't take more than about 15 minutes once I see the doctor - it's that waiting time that kills. That's why I always try for morning appointments, plus if it is something I have to fast for, I'm ready. Also, it really frees up the rest of the day without being an interruption.

Still have a slight cough, but this morning have not noticed it much. My nose needs blown just as much as before (allergies) but could do without the cough and mucus.

Think I shall give RM a text this morning and have her call me ....

PeacE

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

 Let's start you out with some background music while you waste your time reading today, and it goes with today's post title.

So yesterday was spent pretty much doing nothing. Played some video games. Briefly talked with Daughter and oldest Grand later in the evening. Didn't go anywhere. Normally I might have gone to the Post if I felt up to it, but I knew many of those I hang out with are out at the track for NASCAR weekend here, so wouldn't be there.

Today, with half the daylight gone already, I feel it is going to be much the same.

So with that, finish the song, and enjoy your day.

PeacE

I'm Trapping It Today!

 I haven't seen this side of 4am in awhile. Which was nice. It's not because it is ugly or anything, just means that I am not sleeping enough (to me). It was the third call for the restroom though, and for some reason it made me 'snap' awake. Not sure what to do with all the extra time. I think RM would say to stay and pray! So, maybe I will read a bit more of the Bible, or the book I am reading ('The Circle Maker') or just stay in prayer longer. I decide when I get there, I guess.

As far as I know, we have nothing planned this weekend, and my calendar is truly void of anything until Monday. That kind of irritates me. a few short weeks ago, it seemed I had a medical or VFW thing going on almost every day. True, it did wear on me and I was tired more, but I felt like something was being accomplished. Now I sit and twiddle my thumbs, waiting the next thing. RM pushes for me to write something: some novellas or even a recap of my whole transplant experience that maybe my kids would want to read someday. I feel I need to be 'in the mood' to do either, so I have no idea where anything will take me.

With that being said, I suppose I should close this off. Maybe watch dumb videos for a half-hour then try to go back to sleep.

PeacE

While We Are Replacing Things ...

 I have an Uncle that for the past few years has talked about getting his knees replaced. He was big, as I was, drinks, walks with a cane. Could be me in about 20+ years. But each time he would get in to get evaluated for the knee surgery, some other more important medical condition would pop it seems. Or he had to wait for something, then something else happen. He was going through the VA I believe. Anyways, to this day, he has not gotten the knees done.

When (and somedays I feel it is more IF) they replace my liver, they are going to make an attempt to 'patch' the umbilical hernia I have as well while I am 'open'. This is based solely on how the surgery goes, time, etc. I have been saying I need new knees for years, with the amount of pain they gave me. Of course, I was 350 lbs. and not eating right or taking good care of myself. Never even got the doctors to look at them. Could I get those while doing the Liver? Ha!

Today I really want to replace them. about 7am, I am dozing in bed, making the decision to sleep in until 8am. Dozing off I started dreaming,  and at one time in the dream, I am kicking out Kung Fu style at someone's head, and I am suddenly awake, on my knees, beside (not in) the bed. The Pain rushing up from the knees tells me I landed on them. I took off my CPAP mask and said the Wife's name, maybe twice, and woke her to help get me up. I just could not raise myself from a kneeling position on my knees, even with the support of the bed on the right and the end table towards the left. Oh yeah, the knees got landed on. I can walk, it just hurts the kneecap area. Think I will rub on some tiger balm and see if that helps.

But I did go back to bed until 8am.

It's a Thursday. The Wife has 'flexed' off from work today. She says that I hate it when she is home all day with me, and I laughed at her. I said I love it when she is here, because then I have someone to talk to throughout the day since the Youngest is usually catching up on his sleep from being up most of the night. 

The effects of the Para this week were less than even last week. Fewer cramps, and today I feel pretty normal, like everything has settled back into place.

I guess that is all I got.

PeacE

Edit: The cold I think I got from RM, well not so sure now.. The coughing is done to almost nothing, and I have no other symptoms. Either I only caught a tiny bit of it (makes no sense) or I actually got it from sone one else with a different strain.

Just a Shorty Today

 I'm cutting it short in here today. I slept in a little, and I need to get to my quiet time. I have a couple issues that I am having a hard time holding back my anger on and I know will help me calm down, and take those problems from me. I just have to get there and ask.

Nothing special today. Auxiliary meeting at the Post that Youngest and I will be attending.

Other than that... another wonderful day (feel that sarcasm?) to get through.

PeacE

Doomsday (no affiliation to the Marvel Universe)

 I mentioned briefly in the tidbit I send out each day, that our society has changed to thought of Monday into a negative thing. Comics showing hung-over people dreading going to the office, or just bad things happening - because it is Monday. I'm no exception, and I have no problem with it. Throw that challenge at me! All I am able to do is my best ... whether it is good enough or not.

First thing this morning we took the Youngest's vehicle down to the repair shop we use. A few weeks ago, he had noticed it dropping power while at idle, or low speed like in Reverse. We ran it up to Autozone and had them run their OBD on it. Came back with cylinder 3 misfiring. I told youngest, when he was ready we could take it up to the shop, but I only would go on certain days (not Friday, because you could be without your car all weekend, and Mondays are generally busy as they catch up from the weekend). It is a Monday, true, but a holiday (Columbus Day for those that don't know) so made exception to my rule. We planned it last Friday. Took it in, and just waiting the call that tells me how much I am boosting the economy. At least I am using a Mom & Pop place and not a corporation. I'm guessing $1500, but will see.

After dropping the car off, we headed to Walgreens to pick up a 'script for me. We were about 10 minutes early so sat there in the parking lot. Mayo calls. It was one of the nurses. I had had labs down on the 6th (last week) and one doctor had wanted  retest on the THC count (the long one, not regular drug one). She said it has increased from the previous one. So she was calling is there any chance I had used prior to the 6th. I told her absolutely not. Haven't touched any form of it since February, and have not been around any secondhand smoke that I am aware. She said Ok, and that was it. But now I get to thinking... so the used the same urine sample for the re-test. It had sitting for at least 2-3 days. Could it sort of change, like a fermentation process? All I know is now I am starting to chomp at the bit (need to get in my prayer time) if they use this to defer me longer from getting on the list.

So, see? Even a "bad" Monday can happen to me...though, nothing bad has really happened. The car was planned. I don't have enough info regarding the Mayo incident. 

... and that is it all started Officer.

PeacE

How You Spend Time on a Sunday

 Everyone I know tends to use a Sunday to finish off the tasks they could/did not complete on Saturday. Many attend a church service of some kind, at some time usually convenient for them. Me? I do both. When I feel up to it, I try to make it to church. If not, or afterwards, I usually play games or watch a movie. Kinda like I will probably end up doing today. Except, I just remembered I need to do the minutes for the House Comm.

The Wife left just a short bit go for church. Most Sundays, she will pick something up somewhere for lunch when she comes homes. I gave her my best puppy dog eyes this morning, and asked for Chino Bandito's for lunch. It's not that the place is far, it's just east of our regular driving routes that we don't get there often. But, oh... the food is so good.

I have been sitting here for about ten minutes now, and nothing else comes to mind to write about, so enjoy your Sunday!

PeacE

A Few Random Words Before the Meeting

 Welcome to another Saturday and Ralphd00d edition of ...I ain't got nothing to write about.

VFW Riders dinner actually came off pretty good last night. More people brought in soups, that had not signed up or notified anyone, so there was a good variety. RM went out of her way by making some brownies and some cherry cobbler. Oh! And the cornbread, which disappeared rapidly. The Youngest didn't get multitude of compliments on his soup, but still heard a few say it was extremely good. After RM had left, I had heard several people talking about her Chicken Chili, as they had wanted more, but she had already gone (close to being over).

Last night was a reminder of my strength. I carried a full crockpot about 75 feet at the Post, nearly dropping it twice. When I was packing up to go, even with 1/2 - 2/3 gone, I still had a hard time carrying it to my car. My arm muscles have atrophied quite a bit from all the weight loss, and other medical. I had the Wife bring it in from my car because I was worried about dropping it.

The last 2-3 days have been busy with quite a bite of fluid release. After the 7.4L drain on Wednesday, the TIPS procedure might be kicking in finally. I have been urinating frequently, and even having to sit down a lot, releasing more fluid. I have a Para scheduled Wednesday, and will see how I feel come Tuesday.

And I think that is all I have today.

PeacE

F is for Friday and Frustration

 It is Friday, and to most people that work M-F it is their "celebratory" day to announce the end of their work week. To me, it usually isn't much, unless I am planning to visit RM. Today, it includes the VFW Riders soup dinner night. Due to low number of volunteers, and those that were doing it all the time, we had voted from once a month to once per quarter, and this is the first one. I have three (yes, only 3) people that are in the Riders group offer to help with anything (making soup). Not. One. More. I had to reach out to my Son and RM to at least have 5 different types of soup. 

Well, I overslept this morning. The alarm went off at 7am, and I thought, 'I'll just stay in bed until the Wife's goes off at about 8'. Well, somewhere down the line, that got messed up. The Wife jumped up out of bed this morning, started rushing around. I checked my phone and realized it was just after 9am...she was late, and I overslept. I had a pick-up at Fry's to do between 9-10am, so I needed to get up and moving as well.

Got the Wife off to work. I finished getting ready and headed up to the store. Came home, Youngest was still up and helped carry in the bags. I had carried 4 bags, not much in them, but one did have 4-2L bottles, and I can still feel the strain on my muscle, particularly the pecs. I hate being so weak.

Youngest is frying up his bacon for the soup, and we will crockpot it for about 3-4 hours. I already checked RM's blog and she remembered I had asked her to make something.

Debating doing my meeting this morning - just feeling like it. But that's when you should go they say, so I have about 30 minutes to decide.

I think that is all I have today to comment about.

PeacE

Feeling Let-Down and Also A Bit Angry

 The beginning of this month has been somewhat exciting for me. Mayo called. Wanted to move my appointments to the 6th so my case could go to the Selection Committee on the 7th, instead of being later in the month. But yesterday came and went, no call giving me a yes or no answer. I checked the patient portal, and found some clinical notes from yesterday, basically saying something like my SC was relocated to 10/14. Which to read my case review with Selection Committee was moved from the 7th to the 14th. Too many cases? Not enough time? I don't know the reason. I messaged the nurse to verify I was reading it correctly. 

So that leaves me sitting here feeling let-down that another week will have to go by that I am not eligible for a liver every doctor there has said I need replaced. I'm also angry that I have to wait another week.

I haven't had my quiet time this morning, as I slept in an extra hour. That day after being drained (7.4 liters by the way) is tiring usually for me, though not nearly as bad today due to the lower amount I think. Maybe that TIPS procedure is finally starting to work? But I need to get  my quiet time in, to talk to God and let him take control of the whole review thing.

Fairly slow day today. AA Meeting at 11, Mayo Transplant Support at 12, and nothing on the afternoon except to schedule a Fry's pick-up for tomorrow for the Youngest's food supply for making his soup. Tomorrow is the Rider Soup Dinner. We are not talking about it... I already gave that to God.

So enjoy your day!

PeacE

Sleeping. Not Sleeping. Anxiety. Nervousness.

 Just a few things I have experienced over the past couple days. Sunday night, my mind was racing about the consults on Tuesday, and the Case Review on Wednesday. I really hope I make the List this time. Well, between all that running through the headspace, everything was beginning to hurt more than usual: the back, the knees, the pressure on the abdomen, my sides if I laid on either one... I am sure there are other things I could add to that list, but continuing the story.... I decided to take on of my sleeping pills - faster to sleep, and kinda sleep through the pain. I took it later than I should have. I woke at 1pm'ish on Monday. Yeah, nothing else was waking me. I had plans to try to get out to RM's as my Sister was in town, as well as her son and his family. The first text I saw was Sis asking if I was coming for lunch.

Well, I was groggy as usual after a night of taking the pill, so I was just going to cancel. I began to type out a text that I wasn't feeling good enough to drive over there. Then I felt like a slap on the back of the head. I re-thought it real quick. I deleted the text and called Sis. I told her give me about 30 mins and I will be there. I still didn't really want to go, but I now had committed. So threw on some clothes and headed to RM's.

I got to spend some time talking with Sis, her son and wife. S, Sis's husband, was napping with the baby. Of course PT was there (erase, erase). Sis and Hubby had to leave for an appt, and the Nephew was going to go do something with his family. That left it down to RM, PT and myself. I thought, just for a while longer. That turned into everyone going to Dennys for supper. I called the Wife, but she had too much paperwork to do and couldn't make it, but I did go. We had a nice supper, then everyone kind of went their own way. The Niece that lives here and her family were at dinner, as the nephew's family were still out doing whatever. I headed home with half my desert (apple crips with a scoop of vanilla and caramel dribbled over it) that I gave to the Wife. She couldn't believe I brought it home for her.

After that, the night was long and quiet. The soft squeak of the bedsprings ringing loudly int he quiet as I tossed and turned ALL NIGHT LONG! I think I slept in so late, it screwed up my sleep cycle. So today I am going to try to get through the whole day with no naps. I should good tonight then. I do have labs, a nurse, and a doctor consult this afternoon. I've been praying the past several days that nothing odd catches their eye, and the lab report doesn't show anything that would make them consider holding from the list again. I keep telling my self I put it in God's hands, but I can't help myself. It's a major life thing.

One thing that was extremely surprising, and very heartfelt, was Sis she had a present for me. I tried and couldn't imagine what shoe would be bring from NM for me. It was an afghan that she had made herself. The story she told went something like, when she started it, some people would ask her who it was for. She would answer  'I don't know. God hasn't told me yet.' Well, when she reached a certain part (was it about halfway?) my name kept repeating as she praying and working on the afghan. So she decided it was for me. As she handed it to me, she mentioned that hospitals get cold and chilly and I was to use it. It's almost a lap blanket than a full size, so it should cover my feet and come up to about mid-chest - perfect for after the transplant.

And that is how my week has been...

PeacE

Self Re-evaulation

 The Wife and I had a good talk last night. We talked about the upcoming chance to be on the Wait List, and how it will proceed from there. We talked about her viewpoint of the whole liver thing, and my wonderful Wife is so supportive. I have several mixed feelings about the whole thing, and fear is not one of them. Right now I feel more frustrated and out-of-control than anything. Mayo controls what happens. They are the ones that have made all these requirements for me to meet, and I have as fast as I could. These past couple months, just have been disappointing to me. Cannot tell if the TIPS procedure is working properly. I know they said it could take a few short months to see a major difference, but I'm still draining 9+ liters a week. To me, that sounds like it isn't making a difference.

So I have been a sheep these past couple months. Take my meds, do a paracentesis each week, come in for labs when they want me to. All this time doesn't count towards any end goal, except to get approved for the list. I understand there was a procedure, they changed up meds, they need to monitor with labwork for a couple months to make sure nothing goes wrong. But it is frustrating to sit here and do nothing basically.

Giving it all to God, and letting him handle has worked for the earlier part of things, but now, I feel like I want control back, to tell/make them do what I think is in my best interest, though it be or not be. God and I talked about that this morning, and again, I relinquished the situation. I'm calmer now, but still a jumble of emotions.

Enough of that.... I went up to the Post yesterday. I thought it'd be nice to see some of the guys since I have only been there mostly for meetings lately. I sat there from 1pm-3pm, and there was only two of us at the bar. So I left.I spent the rest of the evening playing games.

Today I will be completing the minutes and agenda I have been putting off. And that's all I have planned.

PeacE

Ugh. Work.

 I'm playing the procrastination card knowingly and openly. I am in no big hurry to do the minutes and Agenda I need to get done. Both are extremely short this time around, but I just don't feel like doing them. I am avoiding them this morning by attending a couple meetings online. This afternoon ... well, I do need a couple things from the store. Maybe I'll do the walk-in rather than the pick-up.

Been having headaches the past few days. Most of it is in the back of the skull area, so I am thinking muscles related. I have done some stretches, but they don't seem to really help. I broke down and took 2 ibuprofen the other say, and the headache has not returned as of yet. 

The paracentesis I had this week did not leak at all. They had sent me home with some bandages, too, that seal around the gauze, but have not had to use them. I was a bit worried considering last week it leaked until Sunday, one drip at a time, but it got fluid out!

Alrighty, I need to go. It is almost time for the first meeting.

PeacE

Hot Diggity Dog!

 What a Happy Friday I am having for a short while! With all the stuff going on with Mayo, and dealing with the edema and continued large drain amounts, even with the TIPS, I have been feeling out in 'Limbo'. There's nothing I can do, but what they tell me, and who knows when I will get reviewed for the list, and then sit in limbo more, but at least towards a goal. I've felt ... indifferent. I'm tired of what feels like a run-around by Mayo, it seems I'm never going to make the list as each time there is "something" that has to be done. Why didn't they schedule it earlier if they knew it was going to be an issue? Frustrating for me, and I was reaching the end of my rope. I was starting to just not care anymore.

Yesterday Mayo called me (oh great). I had labs, nurse consult and doctor consult for Thursday (8th) supposedly to be followed by a case review for the List on the 14th, and they wanted to reschedule things, to the 6th - because they wanted my case to be reviewed on the 7th instead! Proactive! Of course my schedule was open, and we did it. So now I hope within less than a week to find out if I made the list.

Prayer does work!

So I am getting excited again for this to happen, though I know it could be months on the List as well, but at least it is towards a goal, not just working on covering symptoms. My quiet time had a lot of praise and thankfulness in it this morning! Which fit right in with my Bible reading in Psalms! 

Nothing on the calendar really until Tuesday now. I need to get Riders minutes done and the Agenda for the House committee at some point this weekend. 

And with that, I think I'll close up today.

PeacE

Filling the Hole

 I had a Paracentesis yesterday morning. One thing I really like about being the first appointment at 9am, is sometimes, they start early. So yesterday They had me back there and on the bed by 8:30am. I guessed that it would be less than 10L drained - thinking more like 6-7. Ended up draining 9.4 L. Received three bags of albumin, and was out the door by 10:30. I had lunch plans running through my mind, and had already decided what I wanted, so I went to JT's Gyro's and got my usual. By this time RM had texted worried about me, and asking if I was okay. I got home and let her know I just got home and would post an update soon. Turns out, the Life360 app we use did not record me leaving or going to my appointment, etc. so she had no idea if I made it, or overslept and was concerned. After checking my phone, I realized it was because Mobile data was turned off.

I weighed in prior to going to the hospital in the morning. Came in at 296 lbs. Ugh! Well after draining, and I got home, I weighed in at 276 lbs. Better, but not my actual weight just yet. The Edema in my legs and such is probably another 20 lbs. and that would drop me to near 250, which I can deal with. Nothing exciting happened at the appointment or with lunch. I ate it, and it was good.

This morning I have done my bio readings, took my meds, drank my vanilla protein shake, and am ready to get things started. I think I am going to skip the AA meeting today (maybe) and just go to the Transplant one. Depends on how I feel. Last evening, my head started hurting like I had slipped on ice and cracked the back of my head. I hadn't fallen or bumped my head in anyway, so was confused about it. I even probed with my fingers, expecting to feel a bump. Nope. Just a headache that is sitting in the back of the head. Generally I cannot take anything for situations like this. Acetaminophen is not good for the liver, and neither is Ibuprofen, but it is the better of the two. I do have a bottle here that I save for extreme pain, regardless what the doctors say. I had 2 pills last night, and this morning I still feel some residual pain. Muscle related? Too Tense? I did some stretches of the upper back and shoulders this morning, so let's see if that helps.

The first half of  the year property taxes are due starting today. I see it has gone up 3.7% (about $40) from last year. Since the house has been free and clear for many years, we have to pay it, as we don't have an escrow account. I could pay to set one up, but I don't think it is worth it. Also have the Wife's registration due. Two years for her car is more than 1.2 year's taxes, for now.

I think that is all I got to say about that.

PeacE

Nothing Major

 Today I go in again for a paracentesis at 9am. There probably won't be any follow up post today, as I am usually worn out afterwards.

The edema in my legs seems to be slowly to lessen. It's hard to tell. I weighed in this morning at 292 lbs. and even if they get 10L drained, that is only 20 lbs. plus I would still have the weight from the fluid in my legs. I still estimate myself to be a true weight of around 250, which means my eating habits are holding pretty good, and I am not putting on a bunch of unneeded weight.

RM, not sure if there will be a tidbit today. May have to wait until closer to noon or tomorrow.

PeacE

Getting Back Into the Groove

 I wonder how many times that was said by deep-voiced men being the DJ on late-night radio back when they played LPs.

My prayer time went 'over' this morning. Not sure why, or how. Figured God needed my attention longer, and held me there. I ain't complaining. There an HR for God? Anyway, I had several things pop up on my mind today that I felt compelled to talk to God about, not necessarily me, but some stuff. I know he heard me, as I felt a bit lighter in step afterwards. I had also started my prayer journal this last week, and I am surprised by how it has grown in just a short while. But I go through it every morning.

I have been feeling a bit better health-wise. I'm giving nods of thanks to all those involved, but I wonder if it the milk. As a kid, I loved milk, but it had to be Vitamin D. None of that skim, 2% or at times, straight from the cow. As I reached adulthood, the amounts of it I drank decreased. Moreso when I started drinking alcohol. Don't mix those two up! Needless to say, over this last year I have tried to drink more milk. I just cannot seem to get into the habit of having a glass a day. My last doctor visit at Mayo he had mentioned it would be good for me to get a on protein shake daily routine, with high protein. I've looked (online) at several products from Amazon, Wal-Fart, Walgreens, etc. but either it was rather expensive, or bad reviews saying it tasted terrible, or just had a low protein amount in it. Last Friday, RM had sent me home with a partial bag (resealable) of vanilla protein shake mix from a certain brand their doctor recommended for them. I started drinking it using milk instead of water (yuck) mixed in, and it is great tasting! Also a way for me to drink some milk daily! I still need to price this brand out, but it is looking good!

I said I felt my health was better, and it is somewhat. Today, my legs weren't as swollen this morning with Edema. My abdomen area looks more like it used to when all I did was paras (no Edema on the sides). My joints aren't as painful today (at this time). I am still going to the para tomorrow. The doctor is the next week, then soon after I hear about making the list or not.

I've debated about telling people what is going on with my medical and all. I have kept updated some family members (uncles, etc.) a couple really close friends, and of course, more immediate family. There are several people that know I am going through the process for the transplant, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything to them (AA group, etc.). When I make the List (positive thinking) I thought about just letting everyone know that I am on a List waiting. I know some that would like to know, and others that wouldn't care. At the same time I don't want to be a drama queen.

I think I just decided on that. No sharing. If someone asks, share. Don't ask, don't share.

And with that life-saving decision, I am moving on into the day.

PeacE

Catching Up On My Boring Life ...

 Welp, it looks like I left off on Friday. Nothing was on the calendar that day, so I presume I just played games and attended my AA meeting. Oh! Wait! Now I remember! I went out to RM's to visit that morning, even though PT was going to be home. I also was to pick up an older computer, and a new camera that they had never used (USB for the computer). It was a decent morning. I did get asked by PT about why he and I don't get together for breakfast/lunch like we used to (several years ago). I reminded him it was when I asked him to give up his keys and quit driving (which he still hasn't). I would not ride with him, and I started not doing the meals because I did not want him driving and possibly hurting others. Then a job came, and I didn't have the time. He seemed pacified with the answer, and that is all he will get from me.

RM (as usual) ended up sending me home with a big bag of things: Vanilla Milkshake flavored protein shake mix (which is quite good), some no-bake breakfast bars with White chocolate Macadamian nut, some brown ones too - for Del -, 2 bags of regular colored peppers, a single use protein drink, and I know there was more, but can't remember it all. RM loves to give! We really liked the breakfast bars, and I started taking the protein drink each morning and it tastes good. I'll have to buy this brand, too. A bag of apples, too!

One of the reasons I had went out to the Westside was to go see to one of our Riders. He'd been in the hospital/rehab for several weeks, and I had a signed card for him. After personal debate, and ideas from RM, I decided to just mail the card (which I did). The walking and all would have been brutal for me, let alone having to visit. 

Near lunch I decided it was time to go. I headed to Peoria Discount by myself and hungry. I usually just buy a few snackies for myself and Youngest, and maybe the Wife if I find something I know she likes. Found a couple nice meat specials, and some drink stuff: Ginger Ale and Cranberry (I like it) Tropical Sprite, Lymonade Sprite and several different mixes of Ocean Spray Cranberry juice mixes. My favorite is the blueberry. Spent about $75 more than I meant to, but it will get used.

Home and unloaded, separated snacks out, and the rest of the evening was a normal one. Sunday I didn't do much of anything. We had a late lunch of El Pollo Loco and that burrito I like filled me up so much, I skipped dinner. This week is pretty skimpy, too. Today is the Daughter's birthday. I have a business meeting at 1pm for my AA group (member vote). Property taxes are due 10/1 and I have until 10/15 to pay the Wife's registration) no emissions required). That's all on the calendar.

So, knowing you ain't going to have any quality this week... I'll let you go... Here's a song I like.

PeacE

This is A Long Drain ....

 I left the house yesterday around 10:30a. I figured I would not be back home until about 3:30p-4p. I had been thinking about getting a haircut, but even with "check-in" at the walk-in places made guessing a time frame difficult. I needed to be at the hospital by noon. Well, I have my account with Great Clips, and I signed in, my location showed a wait time of 0 minutes. So I checked-in, and headed that way. I know my haircut will only take about 20-30 minutes, so I rolled the dice. When I got there, there were three names on the list now, though mine was first, and no one waiting. I got called back before I could sit down. So goal one accomplished.

It's about 11a, I still have an hour until I need to be at the hospital, but I don't feel like going all the way home and back when I am halfway to the next location. So I headed to the hospital early. When I got to the radiology waiting area where they usually check me in, the gal was surprised to see me. But it worked out. I guess there was a cancellation, so they could take me earlier, which they did by about 40 minutes. I ended up draining 11.8L (about 22 lbs.) and felt much better on one front. The edema along the sides of the abdomen had the tech using a same diameter catheter, but longer. The abdomen wall is swollen to at least 5cm from what he told me. Mostly from the edema.

I then went over to CARS and got my four bottles of albumin IV'ed into me. I was hungry, since I usually fast until after the procedure. Even though I got done early, I was ravenous. I ended up at JT's Gyro's (35th Ave 7 Greenway) and got a meal of the beef pita shwarma. Comes with fries, drink, and like most of their meals this little cup of soup. I have not been able to figure out what type of soup it is (Greek chicken and noodles?) but it is sooooo tasty! Went on home and weighed my "dry" weight (295 lbs.) and ate that meal!

I noticed about then, the bandage they had used had leaked (again) just like last week. So I had the wetness down one side of my crotch about 4 inches wide. Last time, this slow drip from the catheter hole had stopped in the evening, and I figured this time would be the same. Nope. It is still going this morning. We decided to let it leak, get some of the extra fluid out, as long as no signs of infection or anything. I have no way of calculating how much is drained, but I'll take relief in very small doses if I have to do so. 

As usual I a tired from the procedure, and I see a nap in my future. Two meetings today, then a nap... could be a good day after all.

PeacE

Oh, Thankful That Today Is the Day!

 Paracentesis. One would think that having this done close to once a week since January that I would be used to it; numb to the needles. It sure doesn't work that way. Today I have one at 1pm (thankfully). Between the edema and the ascites build up, I am really distended (the Wife says I am having triplets) and though it is not 'painful' the discomfort level is pretty high. My breathing has been short pants for the past few days as well, making the Wife worry. I believe it to be from all the pressure pushing up against my diaphragm, and will go away once I am drained. She's worried there is fluid in my chest cavity and I will need to get a thoracentesis. As if she were the one getting it... those hurt so much, and I always pass out.

So I have a few hours until I need to be there. I'll go through my morning routine, then I am thinking about getting a haircut. Afterwards, I may head to the hospital just a little early, and play games on the tablet. I like being early with them, just in case they are ready early. It has happened!

I started 'The Circle Maker' yesterday morning, and it may not have gotten me as excited as RM just in the first chapter, but I am still working on it. I think today I stopped at chapter 3. I'm hoping it gets to the 'nitty-gritty' soon, else I may have to  put it aside until a later date to re-read and then it will impact better. But for now, i still read several pages a day.

I finished Job today. I did learn a bit about God while reading it. Learned about how some friends don't have your interests at heart when talking to you seriously about said things. Of course this book had a happy ending...read it to find out what it was. So now I need to figure where I am reading next. Psalms is the next book, and I am looking forward to reading it at some time, so I may go ahead and start it. I feel this may a book a read over many times.

I heard from Data Doctors yesterday. I don't think they can figure out what I did either. I had two options (technically three, but I didn't really want to buy a brand new hard drive). Well, I took one option, and not because it was the cheapest. They are going to backup what is salvageable from the drive, wipe it, reload Win 11, and then the recovered files. It will take another 2-3 days, so I'm still without that computer until the weekend. I started to make a list last night about possibly what other programs I had on there that I will need to reload. The games I am not so worried about, as through the Steam set-up, I am able to re-install any in my library. I am more worried about my Calibre folder (holds all my ebooks) and the Torrents file (holds d/ls and u/ls for books). I am sure there are two or three others as well, I just cannot remember them. So until Friday, I am not worrying about it.

And with that, I'll mosey on down the road this morning....

PeacE

Let's Give Them Something To Talk About....

 Have you been the grape on the vine that people talk about? The rumors don't come to you, you are the rumor. Personally, I try to avoid the gossip mill, and where possible, change the direction of conversation, or walk away. I've kind of been a 'straight from the horse's mouth' when it comes to people spreading their stories. Lately, I have become that fat grape hanging on the vine, that people are talking about. Not everyone, but enough anyways.

Last night was the VFW Riders meeting. But I was there early (as usual) to "get into the mindset" and have a tea. I'm sitting at the bar in the Canteen, playing some game on my tablet to pass the time. There are about 5-6 others in there that I have good relationships with. Anyways, I dropped the stylus to my tablet. It landed on the footwell in front of me. Before I could even get my butt off the chair, Four of the guys are walking over saying 'I got ya Ralph' or 'Need help getting that?' or just coming over to help. I got angry. There wasn't time to cool this one down. I basically raised my voice and hollared 'I ain't dead yet, ya dumbasses. I can pick up a pen that is right in front of me. It's not like I'm so invalid I cannot do anything for myself'.' I bent over and picked it up. I continued, 'It's a damn transplant, not a march to my death!' Now these guys are Vets, and of course this outburst doesn't faze them. One guy did respond back something along the lines of 'but we want you around here longer.' Boy, if he only knew what he'd be asking for!

As the evening wore on, I felt bad, then stupid, then knowing I was wrong to have snapped at them like that, I went to apologize. I caught two of them that hadn't left, and they were like "pfft, wasn't nothing'. But I made amends, pretty quickly, after knowing I was wrong in my actions. I'm sure by next Tuesday there will be something going around about how I bit the heads off everyone for no reason, or some wrong answer. Sigh. Rumor mills.

RM's favorite phrase from me: I am bored. There's nothing to do. That's how I have been feeling since Saturday. Without my main desktop, I cannot play video games, picture is smaller, I don't mistype as much, as well as having the externals hooked up (speakers, camera, etc.) that using this laptop is frustrating. I did get it up to Data Doctors yesterday morning, but I know they won't even look at it until today. So I am hoping for a phone call that says it is fixed, and didn't cost more than what I already paid. Yes, I admit, it is one of my prayer items this morning. 

But I am happy that I do have a laptop available. I managed to hook the sound system to it, the camera, a working external drive (tried to play s games from it, but it reads too slow). I am able to do things easier than just from the phone. And I can stream movies/shows. So I have been catching up on some series, as the next season will be dropping soon, or just to see if I like them. My movie list has gone down quite a number as well, though it seems most of these movie are not to my liking, and I don't finish them. Trailers do a good job of making a movie look really good sometimes.

And with that, I am out of here.

PeacE

I Broked It

 Saturday, I got back to trying to get these new external drives to cooperate with my computer. Late in the morning, I did something, I have no idea what, that now my computer will boot up to BIOS, and no matter any changes, when restarted, back to BIOS. I walked into the bedroom wiping my heads like a was done - and I was. I told the Wife I am going to take it in to Data Doctors on Monday. Let's see them hopefully get my regular computer back to working, and maybe format a couple of these external drives. Need the second one for my laptop to back-up my VFW stuff.

A couple days without the computer. Easy Peasey. I whipped out the laptop, so I do have limited access. Finished up the meeting agenda for tonight's Riders meeting. I was able to take care of a few other needed things as well. I don't know if I will have time, but going to try to get the camera (from the regular computer) on the laptop, as it gives a better picture. I have a Zoom call with the Psych Doc today. I also skipped my meetings this weekend. I don't know what it is, but I just do not like the camera on the laptop. I did take the sound system from the regular computer and got it on the Laptop, so at least I could watch a movie and hear things.

So, here's to hoping they are able to fix it all today. I am getting a little antsy to play my video game. In fact, tried to put it on the laptop, but not enough space - go figure. Posting will lbe skimpy, but know I am okay.

PeacE

Caveat Emptor

 Wow! Who knew that I could know Latin - or even spell it! Today's title reads "Buyer Beware" and I have heard this a lot over the years, especially when working real estate. It makes sense. Buyers should verify their purchase is up to their standards, whether they make any compromises or not. And once again, I have dove headfirst into this rabbit hole...

Several years ago I had purchased an external hard drive for my computer. It was only 1Tb, but to the common man (read noon-geek/nerd) this was a lot of space! Additionally, I got it for sale at CostCo. It is still working today, and has lasted through two other computers. Well, it has reached it's capacity (I won't say anything but, who wants to save 500 million pictures of sunsets and flowers? I know someone...). Being the day and age we are in, I started looking for like a 2Tb, maybe 4Tb external drive, This would be used 'in addition to' the one I have hooked up already.

Computer sites were very pricey. Amazon was not much cheaper. So let's go to the cheapest ... Temu. I found a nice 4Tb for a very low price, and bought it. After a couple weeks it finally showed up and I hooked it up to the computer. Plug 'n play seemed to work as the computer found the drive. I started transferring over the next few days some files of the main drive, that I had been holding for more space. After a couple weeks, I happened to check the folder of somethings I had moved. The folder was empty. All the folders were empty. And now, I couldn't move/copy anything to that drive. I need that space from somewhere to make room. At Temu I found another 4Tb. Cha-Ching! The next day, I found another 4Tb for a few dollars even lower ...yes, I bought it. I had purchased a few other smaller things as well.

Yesterday was payday at my front door. Both external drives showed up. Went to plug it in - no plug n play. I pulled out the 28 page booklet that had 1 page of English, stating it needed to be formatted before use. Okay, I have done that before...on like 286's, with an internal drive, shouldn't be hard. I even looked up instructions for Win 11 to be sure I did it right. I can get the computer to recognize that there is a drive there, but it won't format or partition it. Keeps popping up some Windows error. I try looking up the error, and it circles me back around to the beginning again. I found a free program that will do all this for you, so I d/l'ed it and it started to work, but again, could not format/partition. I'm getting frustrated. I unhook that one, hook the other new one up. Same exact problem. After three hours of messing with it all, I knew I needed to step back, calm down, and go surfing the web for maybe some other information that could help.

I did go to lunch with my AA Home Group at Chili's. There ended up being about 10 of us, three whom I had not met yet in person. I had 2 side salads (the regular ones looked yucky) and though I shouldn't I did get a piece of the peanut butter pie. It was good! We had a good time laughing and joking around, plus sharing some details we may not want to share in actual group. I was asked quite a bit about my whole liver thing, which I downplayed and said I am just waiting for the week after 10/8 to see if I made the list (which is true). It was after lunch I did the computer thing.

I finished out the evening playing my video game, and putting off the agenda I need to write up for Monday's meeting. It will get done sometime this weekend. It's for the Riders, so I am thinking there is not much to put on there, as we are almost in limbo for now.

And to that, I bid Adieu (Wow! I do French, too!) to you all. I am sure I will be frustrated today as I try to work on this computer issue. The things to look forward to doing...

PeacE

Some Conversation at Last!

 I gave up and took one of my sleeping pills the other night. Needless to say, they work well. I was out until about 11:30a yesterday, woke feeling well-rested. I also woke feeling sort of groggy (side effect of the pill). Thinking I'm good and at the 'full' line for rest, went to bed last night at a decent hour. Then it was like being on the sea - I tossed and turned it seemed most of the night. It didn't help that inher sleep, the Wife kneed my in the stomach a couple times - that hurt! I know it isn't her fault (maybe?) but it is what it is. And now I am up at 5am.

Mayo contacted me yesterday? Maybe the afternoon before, via message in the portal. The nurse said they had gotten my labs in, and based on those results the doctor (which one?) did not want to change any of my medications at this time. She did ask how the swelling from the edema was, so I wrote back that it has barely receded, I'm distended. I do not have a paracentesis scheduled until next week, but at this time, I am not in pain from the pressure, just uncomfortable - but that could be the edema on the sides of my abdomen area, too. The nurse did apologize (in words) about the state of the edema, and how I was feeling, following up with see you in a few weeks (10/8 appointment). Sigh. It gets closer day by day. Monday I have a Zoom appointment with the team psychologist, which usually lasts about 15 minutes. Then it is sitting on my hands until the 8th.

In the past year, I know I have made the comment, or at least thought it, that my life is like Job's. He was the one that God allowed Satan to do whatever to, except touch him, to show Job's unwavering devotion to God. Job last everything: I think it was 7 sons, and 3 daughters; extensive herds of goats and livestock, hi home, his financial standing, and my comparison, his health. I picked this book to read daily because I felt that comparison, which with just the above information, doesn't really match at all. I'm only on chapter 10, where Job is very ill and is speaking with his two friends that came to him, so I am sure I will know more of " the rest of the story" over the next few weeks.

I'm working on a book titled 'Drop the Rock' which is an AA aid for steps 6 & 7. I am just short of halfway, and already have picked up some usual information. I have then next book as well, that helps with Step 10, but before I get to that one, I will start "The Circle Maker" that RM gave me for my birthday. I am anxious to start it, but trying to keep the discipline of finishing a book before I start another. My reading has decreased astronomically compared to last year, that if I pick a book up, I will now finish it before starting another, because it takes me longer to get through them. I have one last journal book I like that I saving for that book.

Had a nice visit with the Middle and GSon the other morning. Doc, the GSon, is getting better about being around bearded people I guess, as he did give smiles to me, let me pat his back and even got a high-five, but there is still no way he was letting me hold him. Soon Papaw, soon.

Today I actually have plans! With Adults! My AA Homegroup is meeting for lunch. This is the group's designated quarterly lunch they get together for through the year. I went to a non-sanctioned one (special invite) and met several of the regulars a few short months ago, and had a great time. Today, we are meeting at the Chili's about a mile from my house - talk about convenient!! So, yeah, I'm there. I'll have to look at the menu before I go to figure out what I'll have, since eating and me are in the ring again. Hopefully they will have a salad I like. Plus, I get conversation! I spend most of my days at home when I have no appointments or errands. Mainly because was asked by Mayo to not drive due to the encephalopathy. So I have slowly relinquished my keys. Youngest takes me, or on off days, and special appointments, the Wife does. Big change from me being the one driving all the time (which the Wife prefers). But being home all day doesn't allow for a lot of conversation. Sure we talk a little before and after group meetings, but that is like 20 minutes at most. So no conversation per se. I admit, I could probably find and meet people on Discord, but not sure if I really want to - it's a whole catch-22. But I'll get an hour plus of adult conversation today. 

And I suppose I should tie this up and get it posted.

PeacE

Early to bed, Early to rise ... oh, Snap!

 Having not slept so good the past few nights, I decided I was going to go to bed early last night versus popping a pill to force myself out. I think it was about 9:30-10 when I shut my eyes. And opened them at 6am. Ugh. I did get a couple extra hours sleep, and I do feel more rested this morning. I just would like things to get back on a more even keel. I blame the whole liver thing for this, and other problems.

I feel okay today. Aside from the edema related effects/pains, I am not noticing anything else wrong. They could be covering up something, but I don't want to start playing the guessing game. I just need to get this edema down.

Yesterday in my regular AA group, we found out one of the regular members had passed away on Sunday. She wasn't local, and Zoom called in from Eastern Oregon. I have seen her many times at different meetings, and she had several years of sobriety, knowledge, and faith in God. I did not know her well, as we didn't talk one on one. There was about half the women in the group that had been sponsored through this lady, or reached out to her for help, so they were extremely upset. And even some of the older guys that have been around for years were crying some. Whatever topic we had was not happening, and the hour was spent remembering this lady. Near the end, Dave (who was hosting) called on me. He said he was interested in how we, as a group and individually, handle the grief of this situation, as he too, knew her a long while and was having issues.

I immediately said I was not a counselor nor a therapist, or even qualified to give "medical" advice on the subject, but here are my thoughts. And as I took my allotted 3 minutes, there was some head nodding, so I was getting through to some people. As the timer went off, and I muted myself, Dave spoke up saying to the group that this was actually some good advice, and if anyone wanted to follow it, feel free. Then there was the usual "reach out" if you need to especially if you feel like drinking. As the day went on, this kept popping back in my mind was did I give good advice? I kind of just blanked my mind and let words come out my mouth. They sure sounded right for a was to deal with grief. And we know everyone deals with it differently.

I've been snacking well since Saturday! The several pickle-flavored snacks RM gave me for my birthday have been being tested and enjoyed! The spicy Chex mix was soooo good, I need to find more of it. It's gone. The Dill Slim Jims are still here and are really good. Trail mix....I couldn't taste and dill/pickle to it, but it is trail mix so always good. I think I still have half a container. I can't eat the suspenders...and I can't remember off the top of my head if there was one other food item. But I do like all of them. Restraint has been difficult. Thanks RM!

And with that, I am closing out. Middle Son just got here with Doc (the token grandson) and I wan to visit a little before he heads home.

PeacE

Should Have Taken The Pill

 Another tired morning. I didn't get my nap in yesterday, so thought I would sleep well last night. But I ended up awake at 1:30a still, and knew it was too late to take a sleeping pill, as I would be groggy all of today if I did. So slept in until just after 8am. Of course, that messes with my "routine" and I am just winging it this morning.

... and I still have nothing of mind to write about today. So, until tomorrow...

PeacE

Short and ... *snore*

 I'm tired this morning. Due to a family matter, I woke multiple times during the night, in which I prayed regarding the matter. All said, I was in bed for about 4 hours. Deep sleep? Not even close. And as I look now, I see I let my smart ring go dead, so no sleep chart it puts out. Sigh.

The Wife is off work today. She has a medical video call this morning, then has to fast until early afternoon when she goes in for an MRI, and a mammogram. I asked if she would like me along and though she hmm-hawed, she said no. All I would do is sit in the waiting room. But I brought up the possible need for a driver, and she said it shouldn't be required.

I'll be piddling around my computer I guess today.

... and taking a nap.

PeacE

Mom's Are the Best

 Yes, even though I am a Father, Mom's are still better. Especially my Mom. Yesterday she had texted and asked about swinging by to drop off some presents she had gotten for my birthday. I was just playing video games so said sure, and shortly she arrived. The Wife and Youngest greeted her as well. I got a nice bag of little snackies: Chex mix extra spicy dill flavored (I opened this one, and it is good), some dill pickle flavored smaller Slim Jims, a nice sized cannister of dill pickle trail mix (haven't tried it yet) and a new set of suspenders that are black with the American Flag on each strap. I had been thinking recently of getting a second pair of suspenders, so this came at a good time. Lastly, and as I waited for her to arrive I wondered if she would, there was book. This one is "The Circle Maker" and is one of her best reading  recommendations. I'm a bit excited to start it, but would like to finish the one I am on, so I don't get mixed up in my head. I used to able to multi-task reading several books, but cannot at this time with the encephalopathy.

Mom has always enjoyed the fact that I am a big reader, I believe. I recall a few of my school-age years where she had bought books at Christmas for me, and that went on into my early twenties. Then I told her to stop. She was doing the best she could in a genre that is predictable and in my mind, overly repetitive of morals and ethics and Christian philosophy. In short, I was not enjoying them, and I was tired of the whole churchy-vibe I got when reading them. I asked for gift cards or money so that I could pick out what I wanted to read. But she did introduce me to C.S. Lewis ("Narnia Chronicles" and a space trilogy I can't remember the name of right this second).

RM has blogged about some indecision with a want and desire to lead a group. She wants to teach what she knows to others. I know with PT's particulars, it makes it difficult (another story). But she has been teaching me for the past few weeks. As I've re-committed my Life, I get to spots where I am not sure what to do. It doesn't have to be like a cult rite, but some guidance (aside from prayer) or suggestion that truly has helped me. When it came to prayer, all I knew was you thank God, You praise God, you ask of God (healing/prayer lists) and that was it. All she gave me was a, I think she said yesterday, 40-year old prayer wheel chart. Believe it or not, it was not a list of orders of structure, but a circle chart. You could start anywhere, but it covered things prayer covers (if that makes sense). It helped me determine how I want to pray. I think I even told her yesterday it helped so much.

Let's not get started yet on the 'just because' things she does, or being willing to drop everything and come help if I ever needed and asked. Our lunches. Our visits together (with or without PT being there). The cookies and home-made pickles...mmmmm. Christmas is coming!

I find little things about me that are similarities of Mom's (keep guessing) and I know it is because she has been a wonderful example of a person these past many years. She's always been there for advice, experience lessons (if she has info to share) and teaching the Bible. I know I fall back on her quite a bit lately, to help me get that first step onto a path that I am not sure what to do. Just that little guidance is beyond words to me (dang it ... allergies are back).

And that is just some of the reasons my Mom is the best.

Go call your Mom (if you can) and tell them you love her.

This message is not paid by Hallmark nor any other Mother's Day card makers.

PeacE

No New Content Here

 I really don't have hardly anything to write about today. I went to the Post for the flag raising, got there like 9:05a and everyone was walking in. Seems I missed it. I had even checked my notes in the morning to be sure of the time, and I had 10a. So I missed it.

Hung out there for a while before heading to get my labs done. Then down the road to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. I was hungry, and it was noonish, I was limited on my choices of food places without having to drive further, so settled for Julioberto's and got a carne asada burrito (and a Patron for Youngest). It was a good choice! When the Wife got home, I still wasn't hungry, so we did a "create your own adventure", and I skipped supper entirely. 

And just like that I am out of anything to write about.

PeacE

Feeling Better Again

 Yesterday, I woke early and felt it. I was extremely tired still, though I had had enough sleep the night before. I could feel the minute changes from having been drained the day before (10.2L) and though it had only been one day, the affect of the medication change from Tuesday. But I just felt 'Blech' as Charlie Brown would say. I held a board meeting of my my sleepy body, and the consensus was to sleep more. So I did. I ended up grabbing a couple more hours of sleep before rising for the day, felling just a smidgen better.

Today is a day of Remembrance for the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers. I got out my VFW Aux shirt several of us had bought months ago for this occasion. There is a flag raising ceremony at the Post this morning at 10a I am going to try to make it to. Afterwards, I need to head up to Banner Hosp. area to SQL to have some labs drawn (per Mayo's orders). There is a pot luck back at the Post this evening about 6p, but am unsure if I will make it back for that.

I was just checking my calendar. After labs today, I have no medical appointments (as of right now) until 9/21 with a Zoom call. Nice. Of course, life still moves on and I have my VFW stuff, my AA meetings, etc. 

... and it seems even I can run out of things to talk about ...

PeacE

Day at the Mayo

 Sounds artsy-fartsy, huh? Like, 'A Day at the Louvre', except it wasn't. Got through my appointments yesterday and had some positive changes and news. My MELD score went to 18 (worsening). They did increase my diuretics back up a little to fight this edema. They also stated that my case will be reviewed in one month, after a similar of appointments!!! We are close!

Today I have a draining at 1pm. Due to my size with all the fluid retention, I have no clue how much they will drain. I am thinking10L and some ... but really can't guess. Just get some of this pressure off!!!

I am totally distracted by my medical stuff right now, this will be short today....

PeacE

It Was A Day ...

 Turning 55 years of age is not a huge mile marker like 30, or 50, and so on. I truly was not expecting any big shin-dig, or some major surprise party (thankfully! I hate those). I pretty much did nothing all day. The birthday posts on social media started coming in. a few family/friends via text. One call from the Daughter and the Granddaughters to sing Happy Birthday to me. One call from my best friend back in Michigan - though I didn't answer it. I was in the process of going to bed (8:30pm? Yeah, I'm over 50). Think about then there was probably around 60-70 posts from HS friends, to current friends, and so many others! I did reply personally to many of them yesterday, but will be doing the final ones this morning. I heard from the Middle Son via text. Never heard from the Oldest Son, and the Youngest, though living at home, never said anything either. Oh well.

Today is Labor Day, and I have nothing planned. The Wife has to work. The Youngest has a friend in town from out of state, so no idea what their plans may be. I'll probably do my Homegroup meeting, then play games the rest of the day - no I won't. I didn't do the minutes yesterday...oops! I just pulled out the laptop so I can start on them next.

The Wife and I were discussing my medical last night. I need to be sure to bring up the edema in my legs. It is worse than when I started a year ago. My legs are so sensitive to touch, yet itch all the time. The swelling is bad, too. Look like two large lumps of meat. Compression socks seem to help a little, but I don't see much difference. I think they should increase my diuretics, but I am not a doctor.

Welp, got other things to get done (minutes) so will end this today.

PeacE

Well, That Didn't Go As Planned ...

 I wasn't planning on making the obligatory post that it is my 55th birthday, and that I was pretty much going to try to NOT do anything productive today ... but 4:38am had a whole 'nother story. When did did get so much control over me? When I began losing track of it, or because I gripe about needing more of it? Either way, though there are several choices of things I could do at this insane hour, I figured I would put a shortie up.

Yesterday was a good day. Tiring, but good. I met up with one of my besties, Jeff, just up the road at a pub we used to go to occasionally. He had invited several mutual friends, his Dad, me ... not sure who else ... to come up and watch opening day for College Football. One of the first games on was Baylor Univ. and Auburn. His nephew plays for Baylor now, and got plenty of play time, as well as his name mentioned on television a few times, just that I saw. That kids is a Hoss!! Huge Defensive End! Well, Baylor lost by one, but I didn't see it. I made it to halftime, and let him know I was taking off. It had been a couple hours already, and I had previously let him know that was my limit before I start getting fatigued. Well, it's part true. That and being the only sober one there at halftime was not much fun. We made tentative plans for lunch soon.

I had mentioned mutual friends ... I personally had not told any of them except my buddy my medical stuff (he's my bestie, c'mon!) but I guess he had mentioned it to some of the guys. As I was telling Jeff bye, they kinda gathered round and would shake my hand, give me a hug, and say something like 'Hope everything goes well'. All of them. It was kind of a weird feeling having these guess that I know, but are more his old HS buddies, take an interest in me because of a liver transplant. It was touching, don't get me wrong. Just felt weird.

I was tired. I had nodded off for a few seconds a couple times near the half, but that could have been boredom as well. I sat there in the car (waiting on the a/c to get it cool - it was like 104 out) and decided to get moving. I had told the Wife my tentative plans for the day, and if they were to get done, I needed to get going. I went and got some hairs cut. I feel so much better now. Though, I had not seen this stylist at my location before, and if I do, I'm not going to use her. She took seemingly forever to just do a "0" on the sides and back. I am usually in and out in about 10 minutes ... this dragged into a half hour. They aren't paid for the time, but for the customer ... so no idea why she was so slow about such an easy trim. From there I headed to the VFW. Tuesday I had been told they were doing an impromptu birthday thing for one of the ladies that helps out a lot. I was told about 5pm. So I am there early (my normal) and playing games on my tablet. The Post had their dinner starting at 5pm (pulled pork sandwich, Slaw, ranch beans, dessert - $10) and I was famished. I bought and ate, all while still waiting for this shindig to happen. By 6:30p I told my friend Stacey (who was doing it) that I had to head home. I was beat. The gal's husband hadn't even left to get his Wife yet, and knew it was going to be even longer. So I was home say ...6:30'ish? Maybe 7pm at latest.

Crud. I just remembered I need to do the Minutes from Tuesday's meeting today. Guess I will work on that at some point. Needs to be done and emailed in today.

I played a video game I have been working on for awhile. In bed by 10p, and up too early. Refilled my pill boxes for the week. I had confirmed yesterday the 5 appointments I have on Tuesday. And now? I am off to check the mail, etc. before playing some more games.

Thanks in advance for the birthday wishes.

PeacE

Holiday Weekends and Posting

 In the past several years, around mid-August I would throw out the "big invite" for my Birthday celebration. Always on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, usually 12p-4p (which led into later times as well). Come by, have a drink with me, catch-up, share memories, or just say hi. How long have I been doing this? Five years? Six? And before that it was by word of mouth. Either way, my Birthday coinciding with Labor Day weekend was nothing more than another excuse to drink, get wasted, do stupid things (like drive home). That Era has ended and falls to memories and recounting of experiences to share.

So no 'shin-dig' for my Birthday. This year, I am fine with that. I'm not really in the mood for any crowd (more than 8-10 people) anyways. My medical stuff would turn into the main topic that everyone one wants to know about, as so many people do NOT know. I've kept that circle down to close family and friends, and I don't post anything publicly on social media about it. Here? Ha! All two of you running to the News station yet to get a reporter here? Thought not.

Today I am doing two meetings (AA/Live support) and my Home Group. In both I get to announce that tomorrow (my birthday) is also my 1 year of sobriety. And yes, I am going to ask for a coin! A year ...wow. That's the start of all this liver stuff. The start of making new friends. The start of learning how to take better care of myself through diet, exercise, and mental exercise. The start of learning to fall in love with God again, and improve relationships. So many good things in just one year. 

No post tomorrow. I am enjoying the Day!

PeacE

Grading Complete!

 Welp, only one person physically replied to taking the test, but I am sure the hordes all read it and made the same decision. It wasn't that hard. I skipped posting yesterday. I woke feeling sort of blah, and decided that a nap was in order, so back to bed it was! Last night I didn't sleep well, and I feel like am lagging a bit this morning, but I will get through the day - with maybe an afternoon nap.

I've been wearing a pair of compression socks I had lurking in a drawer, for the past three days ( I know, they need to be washed). The fluid in my legs has decreased a bit (maybe almost half?) though it feels like there is fluid still built up in my thighs, and I have pitting up and down the whole leg. Side effect of the TIPS, I'm told. My abdomen is still distended as well. After draining the 12.5L this week, it didn't go down like before. The Wife says it feels like there is fluid between the skin and all that, but I don't know. I'll hopefully have someone look at it Tuesday.

The Youngest came home the other day and said his check engine light had come on. I thought about giving him a dead-pan look and saying "So?" but I didn't. We are headed to Autozone here in a bit to see what they find on the OED device (codes) and hoping it only a maintenance type issue, or need new air filter. Youngest said he thought he felt a small decrease in power, but otherwise didn't notice anything. Maybe the O2 sensor needs a good 'blow out' on the freeway.

Other than that, I gotta go. Busy morning for me today.

PeacE

Pop Quiz!

 Didn't think there would be a test today, huh? Well ... SURPRISE! I will make it a bit easier for you and make it a multiple choice question. There is only one right answer. Write in answers may get extra attention if it is really good. If you are correct, you don't get anything except the satisfaction of being right.

This morning, about 6:45am, an incident occurred in my home. The bedroom, and narrowing that down, my bedroom. Whilst in the stage of blissful sleep (took a pill last night) I ended up doing a nosedive off the bed. Why?

A. I just rolled off the bed.

B. I was dreaming of sky-diving, and adjusting my angle of descent prior to pulling the cord.

C. The chow bell was ringing and I didn't want to be last, but lost my balance.

D. I had to use the bathroom desperately and hurried from the bed, only to slip and fall.

E. I wanted to show my Wife how I've fallen for her.

F. Other (Write-in answers welcome.

I'll answer at the end of the Post, and tomorrow post the scores. Might have to grade these on a curve...

Finished my quiet time this morning. I feel fresh and renewed with the Spirit! I think my regular AA group has a Big Book study today, so that will be good. Nothing else planned for the rest of the week, just the medical appointments on Monday. I need to write Mayo this morning about the two diuretics that they slashed down once I had the TIPS. Also, the PA at AZ Liver won't renew either of them, so need Mayo to take that over as well. I found and wore one of the pairs of compression socks yesterday. Allegedly you are to sleep with them on as well, but sleeping with socks on has never been my thing, so by 10pm they were off. I noticed this morning (as I was checking for any cuts) that the swelling has gone down a good bit in both legs - Magically overnight it seems. Now yesterday, the draining  was 12.5L and they said they got it all. But my weight, after only one small pitcher of tea, was 281lbs. Now last dry weight was a couple weeks ago and was 251lbs. Where is this 30lbs at? Fluid in my legs? So I checked my weight this morning, and I am up to 284lbs. But I know for sure the fluid in my legs went somewhere overnight, well, a portion of it did. I might wait a day or two and see what happens before reporting it to the doctors.

Yesterday's paracentesis was late enough (1pm) that I didn't finish the 4 bags of albumin until about 3:30pm. I debated getting something to eat, but wanted a dry weight check when I got home. Also I had the House Comm. meeting at 5:30pm about 4 miles from the hospital. So I just went to the Post. We finished up the meeting early, and I booked it out of there. RM had texted at one point (I had the phone on quiet) asking if I was ok and didn't I have the para that day. I told her yes, and would get the regular family update out when I got home. Which I did do. Before I left the VFW, I checked in with the Secretary of the AUX (I'm Asst.) and asked if she needed anything from me. She said not then, but would be cc'ing me probably this week sharing information and other records for me to hang on to or help with. Joy. I also need to do the minutes ASAP as they need them prior to Tuesday. And my Youngest attends his first meeting on Tuesday! I'm excited.

Today is National VJ (Victory over Japan) Day from WWII. Also coming up is on 9/11 the 25th Anniversary of the event, and 9/18 is POW/MIA Day. The Auxiliary has a birthday later this month as well, but I don't have the day in front of me.

Welp, I'm shared out this morning. Talk at ya next time!

Oh, and the answer was "A"

PeacE

Count Down!

 I am literally counting down the hours to my paracentesis today. It is at 1pm. So, it is only practical I wake at 4:30am, to be sure I am awake in plenty of time. No, but that's what happened. Which is fine with me. I feel rested, and I get to extend my quiet time a little longer. I did get in two books yesterday that I had ordered. "Drop the Rock, which concentrates on the fundamentals and reasons for Steps 6 & 7 in AA. The other is "Drop the Rock ... A Ripple Effect" which is sort of a second book that tells how to use Step 10 to use Steps 6 & 7 everyday. I am not that far along yet, but I can read ahead and prepare for it.

I should have a third book coming soon "The Overthinkers Guide to Making Decisions: How to Make Decisions Without Losing Your Mind". Sounds like a spoof, eh? Well, it is a real book and I ordered it. 

Ugh! The pressure in my abdomen is terrible. The swelling in my legs is terrible. And as I ordered, or made sure was on auto-refill, my prescriptions with Walgreens, the two they are having issues renewing are the two diuretics. I see they are still listed in the Dr. at AZ Liver, and he is probably not happy with me. They had called about a month-two months ago, trying to schedule me to come in for some lab work (they do it in-office). I said no. I get enough done at Mayo, and they can contact them for that info versus me doing it again, and paying it (my insurance anyways) again and overall wasting my time driving there, etc. Besides, he was the one that referred me to Mayo! HE even said he was stepping back and letting Mayo have full control over my treatment and care. Now they pull this crap. Anyways, they won't renew it (probably without an appointment - not happening. I'll just add that on to my message to Mayo today, that since these two prescriptions are what the Radiologist changed (and I think need changed back) and I need some anyways, Mayo can take it over.

Seven hours. I decided not to do my regular AA group this morning. It ends at Noon, and I want to be already on my way to the hospital. I am almost always early to things, and this is no exception. It'd be nice if they are running a little ahead of schedule as well. I did try a new group the past week at 8am, strictly a book study/discussion, and turns out I knew about 3/4 of the people there from other groups! It was like walking in on the same meeting! But their book study is pretty good, and there isn't a "tag" session to have people discuss whatever the topic is. I don't mind sharing, if I have something. Seems lately quite a bit of discussions are geared more around the later Steps, and I don't know anything about them aside of what they are. So I usually pass with the "I'm still new in the program enough I have not made it that far".

Welp, I would love to waste more time here this morning, but have pretty much ran out of things for now.

PeacE

Popping Balloons

 That's kinda along the lines of how I feel this morning. Tomorrow ... para tomorrow and get drained. Ugh! Then I will message Mayo and let them know how much was drained, then explain about the swelling in my legs/feet. Going to try to get a decent picture as well to send. They are worse than when I started with Mayo. I feel it is because the adjustment in meds, but I could be wrong.

Today's meditation/reflection was on criticism and judgement, how we should refrain from both. I believe these are two of my more major faults I have going on. I am always quick to judge, stereotype, decide where you would fit in my "pecking order". I also like to comment on how badly someone has done something, or how they could have done it better. One of the things I shared with RM, and she smiled and was shaking her head in agreement, was about learning as a parent to let go of your children and let them make their own decisions when they are an adult. I have been working on it with the Youngest the most, not playing '20 questions' if he takes off and goes somewhere. The other two boys, well, sometimes I just want to give them my say so about some issue they are going through, but I shut my mouth and tell them if they want my opinion or experience to ask for it. After instructing the directing them for 18 years, it's a hard habit to break.

God and I spent some time going over those two defects, plus some others, that I asked to be removed from me. So I got some work cut out for me.

I really don't have much today. I'll do my AA Home Group at 11am, followed by their monthly business meeting, which doesn't last long. Then I guess it is computer surfing and video games.

PeacE

Givin' A Holla Out to ....

 Meditation for the Day

One secret of abundant living is the art of giving. The paradox of life is that the more you give, the more you have. If you lose your life in the service of others, you will save it. You can give abundantly and so live abundantly. You are rich in one respect — you have a spirit that is inexhaustible. Let no mean or selfish thought keep you from sharing this spirit. Of love, of help, of understanding and of sympathy, give and keep giving. Give your personal ease and comfort, your time, your money and most of all, yourself. And you will be living abundantly.

This was in my "Twenty Four Hours a Day" book for today. As soon as I read it, I realized, this is RM. Now Mom has been this way for several years, though I honestly can't say how long ago I noticed it. But she is the Giver. She even admits to her love of giving things. She bakes, especially around holidays, and gives it away. She takes time (and a some food) to a couple ladies she knows from her neighborhood. She has made room in her schedule to help me at times (though I try not to ask too often). Even I am presented with gifts she 'inadvertently picked up', or because she just saw it and thought of me. I know she does that for others as well. It really makes me proud of her, and makes me want to give as well.

You're the best, Mom!

I think I have talked about giving before in an older post. The nudges I have had and acted on, the feeling of elation inside because you helped someone in someway. I believe this is truly God giving those nudges. To teach us to share? To help the other person in some way? No idea, only He knows His Plan. But I have found out, it is getting easier to give as I grow in my spirituality. I think the "want" to do it is just inherently part of the package. Even AA supports the giving, as Step 12 is to help other alcoholics find the program and help them on their path of recovery (actually spoken about before the meditation on today's reading). Have I helped any alcoholics? I don't know. Maybe something I said clicked with them and they went off to do it. I am too young in the program to be any type of Sponsor for anyone, so my giving is in experiences and sometimes, that is all someone needs without it being crammed down their throats.

Yesterday I did go down to the Post. I saw a couple guys I hadn't seen in awhile. I did get the minutes and agendas done that needed to be done, emailed them out. I'm caught up on that until after Tuesday's meeting. I was back home after about three hours. Then I played video games most of the evening. The Wife did a store run, and ended up making (maybe just re-heating) Salisbury steaks and mashed potatoes. It hit just the spot last night!

No major plans today. Tuesday is my paracentesis, and I am ready to drain. I haven't been since the 19th due to scheduling conflicts. I know after the TIPS procedure that there could be some side effects. One is random drain amounts for a few weeks, as the body adjusts to the "bypass". Some slight swelling in the feet and legs from fluid build-up (not ascites). My legs are well loaded now. So much that it feels like the skin is just going to split open. Yesterday, I could barely get my slip-on shoes onto my feet. The 'pitting' and edema goes to nearly halfway up my thigh. The Wife says I need to let the Dr. know, and I will, on Tuesday, that way I can let them know how much was drained as well. I think the Radiology doctor changed my diuretics too much after the TIPS. She cut one from 400mg to 100mg, and the other from 80mg to 40mg. I think if we put the one back up to 80, and do about 200 on the other, it would help ... but what do I know? I'll mention this as well when I message the doctor. The edema is worse than when all this started a year ago.

And with that I will close out and get on with my day.

PeacE

Relocation is Important Today

 I have 'blown off' the duties of my VFW positions for the past week or two. Why? No reason, just that I am being distracted at home. Trying to work from my desk, the temptation to just 'do another meeting' or play video games. Or even the worst - facebook scroll of death. I'm just too distracted. So this morning I mentioned to the Wife that I was going to do my two regular Saturday meetings, then head up to the VFW so I should be able to focus better and get the work done. The last few months I have only been up there for meetings, so maybe it isn't bad that I spend time there.

Well, I got an answer to my nice inquiry about my medical case and care plan. They scheduled in a CT-Abdomen  on the morning of 9/8, as well as the already scheduled bloodwork, nurse and doctor consults. They need to get the updated figures from the bloodwork and the CT to bring my case to the review panel. So, I am on hold until 9/8 for sure right now.

Had a great lunch with RM yesterday. We both had salads, and spent a couple hours talking about different things. I regretted somewhat that we had to end when we did, but she was on the clock. As always though, too little time spent together. I'm looking forward to the next one, though have not even set a date as of yet.

Welp, I am in a meeting, so I am out of here....

PeacE

Is Your Day Going To Be Better Than Mine?

 Welcome to another Friday edition of my ramblings. I truly think that is all I am giving you today, because not much else has happened the last couple days.

This morning I have my yearly diabetic eye exam. That has gone fine the past 2-3 years, and I see no changes to that happening this year. Afterwards, I am headed further West to the City of the Sun to spend part of the day with RM. I know she was see-sawing about just taking today off work, and I don't know what she decided, but I will be out there mid-morning to visit while she works. Then it is off to Red Robin for lunch. I have been waiting all week for salad! Then we have another stop that needs to take care of something before returning back to her place. From there I will probably head towards home.

I might stop and get my haircut on the way home. I haven't decided. 

After I finish writing here, I will be writing a message to Mayo Clinic. I have not heard anything for a few days, and want to find out what is going on. I waited this long, so when I write the message, it isn't aggressive and demanding. I just want to know the status of things, because as far as I know, I met all deferments, thus should be up for case review, and make the list. Sigh.

I just finished up a small water. Now I am craving cold water to drink with no stopping. I hate when I feel that way, because nothing makes it go away, and I have to force myself NOT to drink so much water. Especially right now as I am pretty full-up on ascites that won't be drained until 9/1.

The Wife stopped last night on her way home and picked up Church's Chicken. I normally am okay with them, but am not a chicken dinner kinda guy anymore. I don't mind chicken sandwiches, but the whole leg, thigh, breast thing I could just do without. It's messy. Well, last night, getting a family order, they were 4 pieces short of the regular, and it would be 20 minutes until it was ready, so instead she got 4 pieces of their 'hot and spicy'. I had 2 pieces and Youngest Son took two. I was not impressed. Wasn't spicy. Was really greasy - more than chicken usually is. And even now still sort of sits on my stomach not sure if it should be processed or thrown up. I've been trying to stay away from greasy stuff since my bile duct, gall bladder and all that is somewhat compromised as they work with my liver. Don't need to cause extra problems.

Welp, I should get dressed, get that message off to Mayo, and then get stuff together for my eye exam and going to RM's. I make it sound like a long trip ... but when you are older, there are certain things you need to take with you everywhere you go...

PeacE

Car Dreams

 I think many of today's men (in my age range and more) and their childhoods, with memories of playing with Matchbox, or Hot Wheels, cars. We all had our favorites, too! I could not begin to guess the percentages of men that went on to become car fanatics: restoring, showing, driving - you name it. I ring this up because I had a car dream last night.

I had just woke up from a late night of carousing, so it was around mid-day. I was getting dressed and throwing clothes into the trash (they were worn, ripped holey jeans) until I found something appropriate to wear (shorts and tee). I grabbed my keys and hollared to the house (and the Wife I presume) 'Taking off! Taking my dream today!'. I walk out into the 5-bay garage (oh my goodness, am I rich?) and stride over to a gold colored Saturn. Yes, like the one I drove years ago. She shined in my eyes, and I felt my heart racing  knowing how her motor would feel as I cruised.

Now why a Saturn, no idea. But important in the dream is that it had a door lock system consisting of three electronic buttons. Well, different combinations would have the car do different things, like auto-start. Well, as I reach through the open window, and hit the switches, the car starts, then dies. I do this several times. I check the gas gauge - empty. No gas cans around the garage. I get in, and pressing the start thing on the electronic panel, I finally get it running and coaxing to stay running. I'm  off to the gas station. I get there, pay, hook up the pump, go inside. As I come out someone next to my car says he don't like the look of it and points. The driver front tire is held on by only one lug and is tilted to undrivable, but I get in, start it up and lean to the left. The car shifts up on that wheel so it is straight up, and I drive off.

That was it. Is there some deep-seated mental story behind it? I don't recall thinking about the Saturn yesterday at all. Some more of the dream is coming to mind now, but not enough to put it into words. Maybe it is just some random mind release whilst sleeping. Just weird.

AS of right now this morning I have not heard from Mayo Clinic. I do not know if they just did not have the time to put my case together to present yesterday, or they found more that 'needs to be done'. They have always called me in the past. Maybe I will just have to wait another week. Sigh. God is teaching patience with this.

I only have a couple zoom meetings on my agenda today. Tomorrow is the eye appt. then lunch with RM.

PeacE

When You Feel It Working

 This morning I am feeling pretty good. I believe my body got a caught up quite a bit and I don't feel as tired. I also feel God working in me today. I did my quiet time, and as I prayed, I just 'felt it' on the mental inside. It gives me more hope that I am not a lost cause, and I still have a purpose in God's Plan. Now to apply in life and keep the positive changes in practice.

Today is Wednesday, which means that Mayo Clinic does a review of cases that are up for the Waiting List. Mine has been there twice, both with the vote that there were some deferments (things to complete) to do prior to being on the list. This last round was only a Negative test result on the tox screen for Nicotine, which the outside lab gave results on Monday. I sent a message through the patient portal, to let Mayo be aware the results were in, and it cleared my last deferment. Tuesday morning I got a generic reply that they will review the results on they are final, and they turned off the availability to respond at all to the message thread. That in itself made me very angry. Either way, all I have heard from Mayo is a couple emails yesterday that test results were in, and I would look. It had to do with the colonoscopy bloodwork, or the report for the procedure. Nothing on the tox screen. So as of this moment, I have not heard anything about it going to review today (this week). Perhaps I will get a call this evening informing me otherwise. They usually do call when a decision has been made after a case review.

This last week I have had some of the side effects of the TIPS start to show up. My feet and lower legs have swollen a bit due to fluid retention. "Liver Spotting" on my arms is happening more. That's the red markings like when you bump your arm too hard, or I get them from needle sites from the IVs. Sometimes I get them from just scratching an itch. Also am getting some bruising that I know not from where it comes. Right now it is fading fast, but who knows if it will come back. I haven't noticed any increase/decrease in the encephalopathy factors - I probably wouldn't remember anyways.

My schedule is clear of appointments until Friday morning when I go do my yearly diabetic eye exam. The past 2-3 years have been fine, and I expect no change this year. Then with my eyes dilated I am heading on out to RM's to visit, have lunch, stop at the bank, before heading back home for the day.

All my candies are in! I have hard candies, jelly beans, and spiced gum drops! The "twenty four hours a day" book arrived yesterday as well. I need to learn to read descriptions better. This little hardback is literally smaller than my phone, but each page does contain a prayer, an AA Though of the day, and a meditational thought. I will add it to my quiet time reads and see how things go. I finished "Restore", and although it wasn't overall really what I was looking for, it did have some good information. I am just not sure what to do with the book now. I have very limited space to keep it. Maybe I will hang on to it a bit and see if I come across anyone that could possibly benefit from it and just give it to them. I am flipping back to the other book I had started, "Demolishing Doubt" and see where it goes.

I think that is all I have today.

PeacE

Results Of Our Actions

 I am tired this morning. I should clarify, I am sleepy-tired this morning. I do not know if it is maybe some residual effect from anesthesia, or just the body needing more rest (or both). Either way, there is a nap somewhere on my clear schedule today, be it this morning, or afternoon. Probably afternoon, as I would like to make my AA group this morning.

I also feel pretty fat in the tummy. It's not pressure related like the ascites build-up (though I do have that going on) but I think from eating yesterday. Being allowed to eat less restricted than I was for the cleansing, I might have ate too much throughout the day. I know I do not feel hungry at all currently, and I usually have to eat something with my meds or get nausea. Not today. So I'm just sipping on a beer (c'mon, it's root beer).

More for Papaw's stash should be arriving today. The package today is spiced gumdrops. Also a devotional specifically geared towards alcoholics called simply "Twenty Fours A Day" I bought it in hardback (thrift books only had paperback). I'm hoping it fits my needs I feel I need at this time in my quiet time with God.

I finally did decide to do a Prayer journal, listing specific people and their needs, except those that if someone were to read, would be sharing with people I shouldn't. Those I'll keep in another place. This way I will remember better what I am praying for for that person. With my memory issues, that is important.

I had a message reply this morning from Mayo regarding the lab tox screen results. I instantly got angry and prepared to type out a scathing reply, then stopped. Their reply was basically "Thank you for letting us know you completed the appointment. We will review results when they become official". Generic. My name wasn't mentioned, nor any particular of my case. I think this is the first time since I started with Mayo, that I feel they have let me down. This reply felt like someone that did not read through the last part of the email chain, that the appointment was done and they were contacted LAST week to watch for results; I was letting them know the results were ready and they needed to get them to try to get my case to the review this week as this was a final issue; and though it sounds bad, I really felt this was someone that was lazy and was just throwing out generic replies to maybe a large amount of incoming messages to "be caught up" in their work. Sigh. I sighed. I did not reply anything, but I prayed for patience. This is moving at God's speed, and it will happen when he wants it to happen.

With that said, I think I am out of topic today.

PeacE