'is A Slippery Slope ...'

 Back when I was in the IOP, I was told that by another patient. We were in "group" and I forget what the actual topic was, but I had mentioned that I still occasionally went to the bar to visit friends. This other patient was about my age, had some experience in psycho-therapy (as a therapist/counselor). He believed that all I was doing was tempting fate, that I would fall back into the drinking habit just because I was around alcohol. I politely sat through his verbal opinion about me, then promptly ignored it. Alcohol does not define me. I wouldn't go if I could not handle myself and I refuse to let it define me.

Defining oneself ... there's a topic! In fact, it was the chapter I read today. I'll be thinking on this one for awhile. What does define me? Am I in the process of changing that with all the other changes I am making? If it does, or even if it doesn't, what does define me? A lot of time for self-reflection on this one I think, plus conversation with God.

I feel better! Did the Para yesterday afternoon. Drained 4.7L, and from the u/s looks like they got pretty much all the fluid that was there. I "felt" like I was more drained. Of course I am now going through the couple days of letting the organs re-adjust to where they should be and unflatten themselves. It hurts a bit at times, and I tend to walk hunched over in the middle, but it is only for a couple days. I need to check with Mayo about the Dr. orders on file at Banner. Seems they only go through until later this month. I know with the TIPS, the lessening of fluid won't be instantaneous, but I believe I need the orders to even set an appointment. I got the lab results from the screening I had just over a week ago. I don't know how to read these things because of the names for stuff. I mean there are like 3-4 different cholesterol ones...etc. I didn't see any that specified nicotine. I did see a test result that I was NEG for alcohol (duh).

Today I have an extra Zoom meeting. It is one Mayo provides for transplantees, regardless of the organ. Most of us in there are for a combination of Liver, or liver and kidneys. Today they will have a guest speaker to field questions pertaining to medications related to all this, as they are a pharmacist there at the hospital. I might learn some useful stuff.

VFW National Convention was last weekend in Reno. I have not heard yet if it passed to make the Riders a 'sister' to the VFW (like the Auxiliary is) or not. Neither official word, or rumor. My Post Commander did a FB post that showed a back patch that read VFW RIDERS GROUP, and I know one of the factors involved was being able to create one Unity patch, instead of separate ones for POST/AUX. If I haven't heard anything by this weekend, I'll have to get the minutes out either way.

Don't give up. If the hair around your butthole can thrive in a challenging environment, so can you.

PeacE

Short Stuff Today ...

 Today is Day One again. I think I know part of the problem. I have 8 cigarettes left in the last pack I have. I am going to move Day One to this weekend. I will finish this pack off, and just not buy any more. If it isn't available, I will be able to fight the urges better. 'Just throw them away' one would think, but I got some weird part of me that claims that would be a waste of money. I know, weird, right?

I have the Interventional Radiology consult this morning. It will be about the TIPPS procedure more than anything. I have mixed feelings about it, but at least right now, I am wanting it done. If it can reduce the number of times I have to have a paracentesis, I am all for it. I do not know if we will set a date to do the procedure, or what. Find out later this morning I guess.

Paracentesis scheduled for 1pm tomorrow. I need it. I feel about 8L or so to be drained.

I decided to compete this week with RM. I have several packages coming in over the next week. I did get a couple shirts I ordered already. And a wide mouse pad with Office/Excel/PowerPoint functions so maybe when I need one, I don't have to go hunting on Google. I know Joe gave me a tip on the Miss Excel email, and I have gotten a few things from those. Thanks again, Joe.

Entertainment and House meeting tonight. I did get the agenda out yesterday, as I worked on it first thing. Riders Dinner is Friday, then we are going to quarterly dinners. Pulled Pork/Chicken sandwiches and a side this week.

Supposed to have a Chapter ride on August 1st called 'Burn Your Buns'. It's basically a ride around the Valley on the 202 freeway system. And it will be hot. I know nothing else about it. I told them at the last meeting to get the info together. I'm a Secretary - I just note the stuff, not plan it.

Another of yesterday's packages was one of the books I ordered. "Demolishing Doubt" by Cliffe and Stuart Knechtle. It was the one that caught my eye when I was at the site. I was thinking it was more on self-doubts, but it is about doubts that affect our faith. It's about doubts we have of 'Is God real', is the Bible true? Kind of more for a starting Christian. But will still be an interesting read. And it is a hardback. And it smells new (yes I am weird, I smell books.

And I think that concludes this morning's focus. I am already off and thinking about the consult.

PeacE

Draining and Filling

 I slept through to the alarm this morning, sort of. I did wake around 5:30am, but told myself 'No. You are not getting out of bed until the alarm (or bladder) makes me. Then I cat-napped until the alarm. I feel more refreshed than I have on these early wake up mornings, so maybe I just need to do that. Works in progress.

This morning I have my paracentesis at 9am. Hoping that they "Drain me dry" today. Last Wednesday, and the Friday before that, it was 10L and stop - both times, leaving fluid in there. I want it out. Plus, I would be able to weigh myself and get a more correct measurement of weight loss/gain. The last time I was able to, about a month plus ago, I was down to 247 pounds. I'm hoping it has gone done, but realistically, if it stay around that number for now, I am okay with it. Just don't want to be stacking back on the weight like before. At least I don't drink and have all that sugar, etc. from the liquor, adding to that weight.

I like to think of the Wife and I being somewhat frugal. Though, I'm the one that does "shopping sprees" more then her. Monday I finally decided my office chair has reached it's end days. Four of the five wheel-rollers have broken off and the hydraulics for raising the seat do not work. I attribute most of that to my previous weight issues. Too dang fat for the chair (Weight-wise). I had already replaced it once under warranty (one of the arms connector to the seat broke) and it is now past the warranty I put on it last time. So Monday I sat in the broken thing and turned my browser to Staples. Why them? They are an office store close to home (for pick-up) and I have some rewards there. Shopping online, I saw no chairs really in stock at that location, but could order it, with free delivery to my home, and have it within a couple days. I found one I liked at a low price (about $60). How to keep the wheels from breaking again? Well, our office was an add-on to the house years and years ago, so the flooring is painted concrete. I guess over the years with Mom and Dad, it has worn some grooves (at the desk where I sit). SO, I saw they also had a floor mat, for hard floors (none of those plastic points on the underside) for about $30. I bought both. The mat was delivered yesterday, is in place already. The chair will probably arrive while I am at the hospital.

The Wife is off today, so not sure what plans will be after I get back home. Lunch will be first though. I almost always fast for these Para appointments (for weighing after). I do need to get those veggies RM sent chopped up and in containers. I need to send out a Riders message about what little happened on the Online Convention last Sunday. Agenda for the House committee will get done Sunday evening for sending out Monday.

With the times for my para, I may miss my home group this morning. I have been going almost everyday, just because I am sitting here playing games. Best to go than just sit here. I may look up any other meeting, where ever in the world, and meet new people. I used to be really bad about changing my routines and I will admit, I still have issues but I do try to be more open to change. Doing these meetings online just make it more convenient, and no traveling.

Welp, I think I shared enough today. Gotta "get dressed" for the para - gym shorts and T-shirt.

PeacE

Oh Happy Hump Day

 Wednesday has arrived. Like the boring day it is, I am sure today will bring no excitement.

The Youngest has to do his Zoom meeting re: Caregiving, this morning about 9am. I got it all set up for him, and just need to tweak a couple final details when he gets up. Yesterday in my IOP, for some reason my camera was only doing close-ups, as sitting at the desk it was zoomed in so much, you could only see half my face. I think I fixed that to a wider view - at least I hope so.

At 2pm, I have a 30-minute weekly check-in with the gal running my IOP sessions. She does it each week with each of her attendees, to see how they are doing, and talk on a more personal level if we are having problems, etc. Boring crap, I am sure. But I must do it, so I shall. I also need to find an AA online meeting for this week - oh joy.

The rest of the day is mine! And I'll probably end up playing games on my tablet. So exciting.

PeacE

Its Para Day!

 For me, today is Para day - the time for the weekly drainage of ascites from my abdomen. Last week there was only about a liter of fluid, and we all agreed no need to drain. But this week, I know we are doing some. I have felt the pressure slowly building the past 2-3 days, and can feel it slosh around every now and then. Hopefully won't be a full 10 Liters, and then leaving some as that is the max darin amount per the Doctor.

I had received a safety recall on my Rav4 a few days ago. Yesterday I looked it up. A sensor in the front passenger seat had many of them improperly made, and they may not work correctly in detecting a passenger weight, thus causing an airbag to fail to deploy. Eh. Kind of important I guess. I went to to an online scheduling of an appointment for a dealership out near RM's. Set it up for tomorrow at 7am, have RM pick me up, spend part of the day there until they call, get dropped off, and home we go. Well, Toyota called back. They have to order the part in, and the earliest I could get it in for the replacement is May 2. So the appointment was changed to that date at 7am. I'm sure RM is up to the same arrangement as long as I remind her.

I signed documents and paid too much to get the IOP program started. I have to do a video intake tomorrow. It is a three-hour session, and being done 'virtually' - as will ALL the sessions I have to do (about 3 hours/day, 3 days/week for 8 weeks). It will be fun scheduling things around this big block of time during the week, but I will make it happen.

I attended an online AA meeting last night. It is the Twice Gifted group that consists of people that have gone/are going to Mayo for a Liver transplant due to alcoholism. A double-support group if you will. It was a great meeting that lasted about an hour. In talking to the one of the lead people, he mentioned my video picture was pretty choppy looking, and the camera kept going out of focus if I were to move more than an inch. Lastly that the mic just wasn't good at picking up my voice - it cut in and out and was very faint. I explained I was on a cheap laptop, but would resolve the situation.

So, I went shopping. Online. Amazon. Found a nice camera/mic setup for the PC/Laptop, with good picture rating and sound quality - trust me, I read PLENTY of reviews on these things last night. The new one is to arrive here late this morning, while I am at Para most likely. I will set it up tonight for my Intake tomorrow. This camera rig was a bit pricey (to me) at $50, versus the $15 models I started looking at. But I figured it I was doing AA meeting virtually, support groups, Dr. appointments, plus this 8-week IOP course - ALL ONLINE - it is a good investment.

Alrighty, I guess I need to get some other stuff done prior to heading to the hospital. I am almost done with our taxes - trying to calculate medical last year is a BITCH! I'm hoping to be like RM, in that I write the info down as it happens, and I have started doing that a couple months ago - so I don't get lost in all the receipts and mess. Excel is becoming a good friend, and I am starting to learn more and more about it as I test if it can do what I want in format, etc. Shout out to Hoosierboy (Joe) at 'Fat in Indiana' for the tip on the emails from Miss Excel. I have read a couple, and just those little tidbits she shares in the mail have helped!! Thank you good sir! Shameless plug: Joe has a couple books for you to get and read!! Here they are: "

Hoosier Flats: A Novel of the Greatest Generation and 

Suburban Moon: The Autobiography of Sam Wyatt (Hoosier Flats Book 2) 

Well, I think that does it for me.

PeacE

It's Almost Here!

 Here it is the 2nd of September already, and just days away from my birthday. I still have no clue of how many will be stopping by on Saturday, as I pretty much invited all the "friends" on FB, plus several others via phone. I know most being family back in Indiana, or other places, will not be here. I know I have one out of town friend that said she will be here (as she does every year) and that's my Ginny. 

Tonight is also the 1st Tuesday of the month, so I have the Entertainment Committee meeting, the NYE Party Council, and the VFW House Committee meetings tonight. The first two aren't hard - I really don't do much, but help confirm calendar dates for conflicts (set-up, raffles, etc.) and maybe ask a question or two. The House, boy. Last night I was up at the Post, and was speaking to A, another House member, and he had a bunch of issues he wanted to bring up at the meeting. Most of which, has to do with revising/amending the House Comm. Policy. But it is all over the place, and not just specific to what I am already to work on. Sigh. I hope he doesn't get his notes in order for tonight.

Next Thursday (9/11) I am sure the Post will do a flag ceremony, and bell rings at the time of the attacks. We had discussed it last month at our House meeting, but no feedback was given. Guess I will force the issue tonight. On 9/12 is the VFWRG Monthly dinner, so we are serving the classic hamburgers/2 hot dogs, smoked baked beans, and a homemade dessert. I asked RM to make the dessert this month, as she had mentioned a couple months ago, she would be willing to help out where needed, since this is a group I am actively involved in. I also feel it gives her a goal/need to do what she does best: cook, and give. Thanks in advance Mom!

Yeah, I still have a meeting next Tuesday (Aux) and the following Tuesday (VFWRG - which I still need to create the agenda for) before the meetings are done this month. Oh, I forgot, on 9/21 (Sunday) the VFWRG is sponsoring breakfast 9a-11a, followed with 'Harley Races' at noon. Don't ask about the races. I think they said some places call them frog races. I find it boring. Other than all that above, my month is actually fairly free.

To be fair, you probably won't hear from me now until Tuesday of next week....lol. Saturday is going to be fun!

PeacE

Last Monday Night

 ...was a bad one. for some reason, down both legs, muscle cramps occurred. And I am not just talking like the calf area. I'm talking full blown - the hamstrings, the calves, the foot (top and bottom) and back up the front of the leg - on both sides. Obviously it woke me, but there was not much I could do. I tried limping around the house to "walk it off" with no luck. I sat in the bathroom, trying to rub the muscles and ease it. No luck. Either way, after what felt like hours of crying and trying everything I can think of, the cramps eased enough I could get back to sleep. Getting up Tuesday morning though, I found I was having some issues walking, especially with my left leg (the bad one) even with a cane. It was painful (like residual cramped muscles) and even some pills did not help.

Needless to say, there were meetings I had to attend, and things to do. So I suffered through it. By the end of the night, I was beginning to think I might have had some kind of minor stroke. I spoke with the Wife, and with some tests, determined that was more than likely not the case, and I just needed to rest. So that is what I did all day Wednesday. I only got out of bed to use the bathroom, and eat something small for lunch. I slept. My legs still ached. I thought I would have problems sleeping last night, but I did not. I was up early today though.

So since I was up early today, I did a walk through the house. The legs do feel much better, though still some soreness. I wrote up our House Comm notes and sent out for approval. I got some bills paid. Now I want breakfast, but cannot find anything to eat here for breakfast, or lunch for that matter. The Wife has been busy with work, and has not had time to cook, so no leftovers even. I feel Red Robin in my future for salad for lunch. If I can wait another 3 hours.

Between events at eh Post, and just things in normal life, I feel the next few weeks are going to be somewhat busy. I have to verify my annual diabetic eye exam appointment coming up soon. 

Guess I'm going to see what I can find to eat somewhere close....

PeacE

You Know What Today Is....

 ... it's Hump Day! Well, for those that work a M-F job it is anyways. Though, not for a lack of me trying to find work....

My buddy J had taken his car in last week for an oil change, and had asked me to pick-up/drop-off when done. It was a new "mom and pop" shop that 'took over' the vehicle repair section of the Pep Boys at 35th Ave & Cactus. They don't have the store part, just the auto repair area. Anyways, while dropping him off, I set an appointment for my oil change. It has been about 3 years and 10K miles since I bought the car. Around 5K miles, Toyota said it wouldn't need to be done until 10K due to the synthetic they use. So, I took it in today. Youngest picked me up and we went to lunch at Red Robin, then he dropped me back off. I was a bit shocked at the cost for an oil change, but inflation....

Afterwards, it was a quick run to Walgreen's to pick up a 'scrip for me, and one for the Wife. I have my medical appointment next Tuesday, though I don't see anything changing. I'm going to push for a 6 month between visits, as no prescription has changed in at least the past 9 months.

Last night was the VFW Entertainment and House Committee meetings. Chairman loved the agenda I created, and now expects one each month. I'm glad to do it, even though I had to learn several new things between doing them on Google Docs, and format, etc (thanks RM for the * info - it works). I'll get around to the minutes later this week.

This week I have received three notices for book reviews on books I have requested. I have managed to get two read already, the third I just got the email today, so will start it this afternoon. Then I'll have those to type up as well.

That's quite a bit of typing for someone that has no secretary skills....

PeacE

What Am I Gonna Do With Myself?

 Sigh/grumble. That looks weird written out, but that is the sound I pretty much made as I say here, and decided to throw some words down....

Nothing exciting here. Ever. Yesterday, I decided to head down to the Post. Due to "low customer levels" the Post bar is usually closed through the week (Tues, Weds) and Mondays they open later (like 4pm) for just long enough for the dart league to play. Regardless, Saturday a couple of buddies were telling me to come up on Monday, even with the later hours. So I did. The two buddies met me there, and were all about how the bartender is new, and better looking than most of the others, etc. I was unimpressed. I'm of the age where the service has to be prompt, not with beauty. So I 'hung out' for a couple hours, then headed back to my regular spot. I lasted there a couple hours before I said to heck with it, and went home.

Today brings yet another meeting. Tonight's is the general Post/Aux meetings, and as par for the course, our secretary sent out the meeting notes from last month, and tonight's agenda, all at a late hour last night. Always last minute with this person, who was a past President for the AUX. Sigh. Maybe I just expect too much? I mean, c'mon, I secretary for two (2) meetings/month, and get my notes out within a day or so of the meeting (allows me for one night of drinking, to decipher the hidden notes within my notes).

Anyways, it is late morning now, and I think I shall head up to the pub for some beer, followed by the meeting this evening....

PeacE