Feeling Pretty Miserable

 The past couple of days I have begun to feel uncomfortable. The build-up of the ascites feels like more than usual this week. I do go this afternoon for a Paracentesis, where I am quite positive they will drain 10L and leave fluid in the abdomen area. It's becoming the story of my Life, at least it feels that way at times. We could create a calendar system based off my paras.

I also have a blood draw/urine test today. Mayo gave me the orders yesterday for the drug screening, and I have only 48 hours to schedule and complete, otherwise they count it as a "positive" result. I don't want that!! So mine is scheduled at 11:30a right next to the Banner I go to for the paras, and I set the time to allow me to get from one building to the next (parking) and make my 1pm para. I am so bloated.... the Wife has started pregnancy jokes.

Tomorrow will be an interesting day. My AA Home group is doing an impromptu luncheon at Valle Luna. They usually do a luncheon once every quarter, but this one isn't the sanctioned one. What is nice, is that they invited me. They even said it was by invite only... Does that mean I am part of the 'Cool Club' now? I don't know, and if that turns out to be what it seems to be, I'll remove myself. I don't want to put myself separate from others - we are all in the same boot about sobriety. Not one of us is better/higher than another. I used to really dislike having to go to events where you "know" no one, and you have to go around and introduce yourself, etc. I found out over the past few months, it isn't so bad. And these people already know me through the Zoom meetings, it will just be an in-person meeting. The best part is it is more on my side of town, and fairly close to home.

I slept in an extra hour this morning, and I feel better for it. Yesterday I was feeling so bad, I actually took a 3-hour nap in the afternoon. Hoping with this extra sleep, the draining today, that things will get back to where they were where I was not so tired. It is still three weeks to the TIPS procedure for me. Sigh.

I have been reading of a morning in my quiet time the book 'Restore'. Today I read chapter three, and it was sort of about control. Trying to control people through your image, or works. How we "fire" God because we have control of things. I had to re-read a couple sections of it. In my mind, it kept flashing a neon sign sign saying "Not Needed" as I felt the chapter didn't really do anything but give examples, then say one needs to let God have control, not you. It was like 4-5 pages of repetition and nonsense to me. I hope the remaining parts of the book are not this way, because it started off pretty good. And this is strictly my opinion.

Welp, I need to figure out what 'flashy' shirt I am wearing today. Already got a pair of the shorts RM bought me. They are elastic waisted so work great for when I go to have paras. Got a hair cut a couple days ago. I'm starting to look pretty good, if I could get rid of this huge belly and keep it away.

And with that, I am out of here ....

PeacE

A Late Post on a Sunday

 *yawn* what a good night! I ended up going to the Post last night. I left the house about 2:45, took the car through the wash, picked up some sodas and chips at Fry's (yes, I did order them that morning for pick-up) then headed to the Post. My friend Stacey showed up not long after I Got there, and we had some time to sit and 'catch-up' on the past couple weeks. I stayed through until the drawing for the Queen (didn't win anything) then headed home. After not having really gone out to the Post much lately, excluding meetings, it was sort of nice to have a nice night out with a good friend. I'd say the same for some other friends, but they drink, which doesn't bother me, but I just don't feel like sitting in a bar all the time to hang out. I do still get together with them for a lunch every now and then - in fact, I'm hoping to have lunch this week and be able to share some good news.

Yesterday morning I received an email from the Riders previous Director. Seems the AZ State Convention is going to be today, at 1:30, via Zoom. So I sent the information out, and 'strongly suggest that all attend'. I got a fresh notepad here at the desk, and I have been racking my brain for questions to maybe ask if not covered in the meeting. I still did not receive this through 'official' lines of communication, and that really irritates me, especially after formally telling them the our previous director is just that - previous. All official communication needs to go to the current officers, plus gave them contact info. I'm hoping it is just they are scrambling (like all of us) in getting things done prior to the big vote at the end of July. Sigh. I know my duties as Secretary are going to increase ...

This morning I slept through until 7am and the alarm. Seems if I stay up really late, that happens. Well, I ain't doing that regularly (staying up real late) so will deal with whatever comes. I picked up some prescriptions at Walgreens yesterday. Five to be exact. One is the statin pill the cardio doc wants me to start taking again. three were prep stuff for a colonoscopy I have to have done soon, and then one of my regular meds. This next week I have many of the others that will be filled. I need to remember to get to CVS for one of them as well. They called last week and said they were sending it to the store.

So today will be a day. I think I am able to squeeze in my AA group this morning, and then the Riders thing this afternoon - will probably be 2-3 hours. Then it is game time! Hope you have a relaxing day, even though I know RM and PT will be on the road north for a graduation ceremony. Be careful out the RM!

PeacE

TGIF!

 I am really happy it is Friday. With the "error" in scheduling this week, and having to push my paracentesis to Friday ... Let's just say I am ready to be popped and drained. I would not be surprised if they take 10L (max allowed to drain per Dr. orders) and there is still a couple left in there. Well, it will have to sit another couple weeks, and I couldn't get an appointment set up before that. My abdomen is just so distended, and the muscles around it are getting sore from all the extra weight and proportions. I cannot wait for 1pm to get here.

Slept good last night again. The smart ring says I only woke twice (bathrooms calls) and I slept just under 7 hours. I woke when the alarm went off, and the Youngest was just outside the bedroom door. Seems he picked today to do the battery thing. HE already had it out, so we went up and of course it is dead. So they couldn't test it. Well, I said we'd be back about 9am and see where it tests. I have a feeling I am buying a battery this morning. I priced them, for his car. I remember back when I was paying around $100 for a battery. Now, the cheapest they carry is $260. Not happy, but what am I to do?

Still no word regarding the Riders Convention, that my Post is hosting supposedly. What a mess up. I admit, I am stressing a little about it. That, and when details do come around, I have so many questions. At least I finally will be able to network a little with some of the chapters, and contacts for their Secretaries, to ask questions of. 

Tomorrow is the 1 year birthday of my grandson, Doc. They are doing a little pool party for him, and we plan on going for a little bit. Their apartment is sorta small, so having a large group of people is cramping it up. I think RM even said she would stop by for a bit. I hope so. RM offered up some shorts she had gotten that may fit me, PLUS she bought some Pickle Crack hot sauce, and a thing of pickle salsa just for me. The hot sauce I have had before but not the pickle salsa. I love pickle de gallo, but sometimes it is hard to find in the valley. I think my regular grocery does not carry that type, but do have that brand of pickles. Maybe it was Sprout's I saw it at ...

Aside from the car battery stuff, and my paracentesis ... I ain't doing nothing today. I know I will be wanting to be still after the draining. 

And that's all I got this morning ...

PeacE

The Disease is Spreading ....

... you know, the one where you wake up earlier than you want. RM and I both thought after one good night, the problem was gone, but no. I have a bit of an excuse for my early morning today though. I was watching some episodes of 'Punisher' and it must have been around 5:30pm, but I slammed into a wall. I could not keep my eyes open. So I went to lay down for maybe an hour nap - don't want to sleep long, so I'll still sleep that night. I woke maybe three times before morning. Once when the Wife came to bed, and twice to go to the bathroom. I looked at the stats on my smart ring app, and it says I slept a total of 9 hrs. 17 min. So maybe it was a bit later when I went to lay down. Either way, I got more sleep, but am up early.

Youngest came to me yesterday, happened to mention he is having some battery issues with his car. It doesn't want to hold a charge. He has had to use the jump starter almost every time lately, and yesterday, even after driving it, then parking, three ours later it was dead again. SO I told him Thursday or Friday morning, if he pulls the battery, we will run up to Autozone and have them charge it (about an hour) and maybe find out if it is defective or what. I don't know if he wants to do it this morning, or tomorrow.

Nothing on the calendar for today, again. I added more appointments to next Wednesday - they forget to have the cardiologist check me out. And he will probably want to do a cardiac catheterization on Thursday (says the nurse I am talking to on the phone). Well, that'll put the council decision off another week, but if it needs to get done, get it done asap. As long as I get my paracentesis tomorrow, I don't mind the other appointments. I am very uncomfortable right now with this pressure. Tomorrow ... 1pm.

I might go to the grocery today to pick up a couple things, and try to make dinner tonight. Trying another new recipe I found that looks fairly quick and easy.

... and I guess that is all I got about now. I have got some time to waste before 11am, and 12pm (meetings) so I'll yap at ya tomorrow.

PeacE

I Awaken and Rise....

 ... but too early for me to actually like it. This new med to help with the insomnia is doing it's job very well though. Last night I got about 7 hours sleep, and woke at 4:30a feeling rested and awake. YEs, I went to bed a little early last night (about 9p) so maybe I need to stay up later so I don't waken so early.

The Wife had Monday off work this week. Time for the yearly boob-squeeze (mammogram) which she wasn't really interested in doing. I don't think any woman does... But afterwards, she and the Youngest went out to the Discount grocery for food stuffs. I have no idea what all they got, but I got a couple bags of Dot's seasoned pretzels, and some Lay's Cuban sandwich flavored chips. I saw they got soda (for themselves) and when I asked, they weren't sure if I like Barq's root beer. Duh! While there, the Wife found some wi-fi type chargers for phones, and picked one up for herself. Her phone has gotten worn at the charging port, that it is super-sensitive about how the cord plugs in to charge it. Well, after the first night, she was impressed at how it charged on the new device. she asked me to pick up a handful more (I'm guessing for Christmas gifts). SO yesterday found the Youngest driving me out to the store. Picked up some more chips, and the Barq's was $0.69/2-liter bottle, so picked up several. Got like six of the chargers for the Wife, and a few other small things to use towards Thanksgiving dinner.

I was still sore a bit in the thighs, but with the assistance of the cart, made it through the store ok. Youngest and I then went to Red Robin, as I craved their bottomless salad. Then home where I spent the rest of the day on the computer playing games or watching shows. I had gone out Tuesday after the VFW meeting, and yesterday morning, I felt the effects. The new pill is what the NP called an alcohol inhibitor. I wasn't sure how that would affect anything, but it seems it makes me sleep more (slept in until the Son woke me around 10a) and makes me feel foggy-headed. I know it is these effects, because I really hadn't had that much to drink. So now I know. And everyone will be happy that d00d won't be drinking like he used too, unless I skip that pill at night.

Decided that I am going to wait until next Wednesday to get the materials for the rest of Thanksgiving dinner. Hope RM will have enough fridge space, as I plan to pretty much bring it all out there to make/bake/mix at her place that day. BTW RM, we have another addition: Youngest's GF. SO that brings it to eight of us total.

Welp, I did get a couple book reviews done this morning, and need to go see if there are anymore out there I want to read, plus check my glucose and stuff....

PeacE

Sunday, Sunday Sunday!

 Another Sunday has happened along, and yes, I will be heading up to the pub to hang out with some buds to watch some football this morning. With DST in effect, here, the games start about 10am, so we usually start out with a couple Bloody Marys, loaded with some goodies to munch on (bacon, pickle spears, celery, etc). I'm sure today will not be any different than last week. I do have one bet that Washington beats Tennessee, so we will see how that goes. The bet is only for a beer (+/- $5 cost) as I am not a big gambler, and also do not have much faith in my 1-3 team.

Saturday morning had a wonderful time having breakfast with RM. She had mentione dthe Black Bear Diner for breakfast, and I had not been there for that meal of the day before, so it was a new experience. I had the corned-beef hash, and it was good... I picked at it until it was gone, even though I was full about halfway through the meal. Several iced teas washed it all down. Conversation was a little off at first, as we share enough basics in our blogs, it seemed there was not much to really catch up on, but eventually it went better, as we could be more specific and onto other details that maybe we don't share online. Overall, was a nice time.

Not sure what is going on this week. The Youngest is on school break. I probably will be contacting the Company and letting them know I am ready to get back to work, though I am not sure if they will have anything right away for me. I kind of would not mind a few extra days off, but it has been three weeks or so since I last was ona  project. Between my back getting better, and adjusting to the new meds/dosages, it is about time I get back to normally working. 

Speaking of meds, I am starting to wonder if they are working. I know certain foods store as sugar, etc, and I have been trying to cut sugars (soda, candy, etc) out of my diet, but even my glucose count is still showing higher, even with an added prescription. And my BP ... well, it is still pretty much in the same range as it was prior to increase in the script I take for it. Maybe some more time for the body to adjust to it... though it has been over a week - nearly two, since the changes.

I am up a bit early today. For some reason, I was in bed by 7:30 last night. I was so tired I could hardly stay awake. No idea why. I had gotten up for breakfast, and spent most of the day playing Warcraft, or watching social media, etc. I had not done anything streneous (like I would...lol). I did wake a few times during the night, but was able to fall back asleep. I finally woke/got up around 4-something. Thinking of going and lying back down to try for a couple more hours. Will see....

PeacE

Late Starts

 We overslept this morning. I say 'we' meaning the Wife and I. I awoke at 7:41am, realizing that I must have slept through the three alarms I had set to be up by 7am. That is also the time the Wife is usually getting up to head to work as well, yet she was still in bed beside me. The Middle Son show up outside our door, and said something about how he had already taken Youngest out for 'whatever' this morning (something they do every now and then - like go hiking or whatever). I asked why had he not tried waking me up earlier, and he says he tried like three times, lightly, but after no response he gave up. Yeah, it must have been that deep considering I slept through three alarms. So the Wife is going to be a little late tot work this morning. I did some quick calculating, and decided I could sleep in another hour, which I did. Thank goodness for the flexible schedule with the Company! I think I really needed the sleep due to the past few nights being bad. In fact, I feel like I could use yet a couple more hours.

Welp, I live such an exciting life, that I ain't got nothin' else ta say taday....

PeacE

All Cramped Up

 I spent most of the weekend drinking. I know, my last post spoke of it being a sober Saturday night, and it truly was a non-alcoholic event. I drank water. I drank soda, I drank, I drank, I drank. For some reason, the past two days had my body craving anything cold and liquid. Sunday morning when I woke (around 10am) I woke feeling bloated, yet craving more cold liquid. I went through more soda than I should have (oh, the calories and sugar!) and I could not chill water fast enough to keep up with my thirst. I even brought it to the Wife's attention, and she could not figure out anything as to why I would suddenly go through this 'thirsty' phase.

So we finally made it bed last night around midnight, after me binge-watching almost the entire season 16 of NCIS. This morning I woke to lower leg cramps, and a distinct lack of that thirsty feeling. One would think all the water I drank would have eased the chances of leg cramps - but maybe I 'washed' out the vitamin(s) that help prevent them. I don't know, but I am sitting here with a chilled, flavored water next to me already this morning. I may try to go lay back down for an hour or two in a bit, since I don't have any work to do yet.

Middle Son stopped by this morning, and is running the Youngest off to school. I think I just heard them leave, and the Wife crawl back into bed. I'm gonna check my email (for work hopefully) then I am back to bed for a bit, too.

PeacE

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

 No, you won't find a YouTube video of Freddy Fender singing this popular song. It's just a pretty good description of how my last 24 hours have been. Well, maybe not quite all 24 hours of it....

Went and hung out with friends last night at the pub. We had a good sized group of us (about 8) which is more than the usual 3-4 on Fridays. We were all meeting up at another place than the usual. Our usual hang-out has become increasingly ghetto clientele and the drug exchanges in the bathrooms, the constant smell of weed being smoked on the smoking patio - Time to find a new place. And it is a fairly nice place with better menu options. Though, last night they get demerits. Our waitresses messed up orders (drinks) and obviously were just charging things to whoever's tab showed up first on their monitors. I know, because mine was much higher than usual - and I did not specifically say I was buying anyone's drinks/food. By then, the group had dwindles down to three of us, so how am I going to collect from someone not there? We're all friends - it'll work out. I hope the service improves, or we might be looking again.

Having had a few drinks, and very little sleep the night before I crashed fast last night. Vaguely remember the Wife waking me at some point of the morning, but going back to sleep until nearly 2 in the afternoon. But I feel so much better having caught up on the sleep. Wife and I decided on Golden Corral for a late lunch/early dinner (at 3 in the afternoon). The buffet has been opened up again for awhile, where they put the food on your plate, as you go around the food area. But now it has returned to you doling out your own, though they ask you to wear plastic gloves while doing so. Masks were optional. Needless to say I was happy. The wife was able to get a variety of foods that she can tolerate (her sense of smell/taste has been returning very slowly towards normal, but still has many issues). 

My replacement debit card came finally, so I have been trying to remember every service I use the card for auto-pay, or orders regularly, and updating the info on each site. I think the only one left is Youngest Sons WoW account. I can't remember what password we used, so will have to ask him. Think I have everyone else covered. Guess I'll find out within the next few weeks with email notifications that payment was not going through somewhere....

Tomorrow looks to be another lazy day for me. Not sure what I am going to do. Probably should get more reading done. I'm at 97 books read this year so far. I have a couple in process that I'll need to write reviews for (Advanced Reader Copies). I have another two I am hoping they approve and send me an ARC. Plus there is a friend of mine that lives in Chandler (south side of the Valley) whose neighbor is looking for someone to read her book. I told him to give her my email, and contact me about what she would like from a reader - a review, or other notes notes about continuity, etc. 

Guess I am out of here for now....

PeacE

Another Week Until A Weekend

It's Sunday evening, and as I prepare myself to head to bed, to toss and turn through the night, I figured I could gripe about how this weekend has gone.

Friday, after work, the Wife headed to Safford to assist the Daughter and Fiance to move an hour from where they currently reside, into some housing supplied by the Company the Fiance works for ... located about an hour drive away. Yes, closer to work for him, and for her, since she is not working. All fine and dandy, except the Wife felt she HAD to go and help them move. The Wife is "scheduled" to return sometime tomorrow(Monday), but as of earlier this afternoon, she had no exact time. Seems the original plan (prior to Friday) had changed and now no one seems to know anything. Needless to say, she said she would still be home, but no idea what time.

No big deal, right? She was already planning to be gone until then. I still had to take care of things this weekend while she was gone. And I did.

The two younger Sons and I had breakfast out Saturday morning. Followed with the Easter Festival at the church that they went to for about an hour and half. Then we met up with RM & PT for dinner out at Chili's. Spent the rest of the evening, chilling at home (meaning, we played on the computers). Sunday morning I was wakened about 6am to pick up the oldest Son, as his band trip was returning from California. I went back to bed after bringing him home. Most of the day was spent getting some things tidied around the house, and some laundry, so Mom (aka The Wife) would see we were somewhat productive while she was gone. I treated for dinner out at Souper Salad.

Now the boys have all had showers, did their nightlies, and are in bed. Well, the oldest is in his bedroom, probably not in bed, but not my problem. Tomorrow morning will be me waking him up at 6'ish, then to school, then home to take the other two boys to MIL's, where one will wait for the bus, and the other I will run to his school. Then home for a couple hours until I need to head to work.

Dad has it all in control, right? Doesn't sound like anything majorly bad happened.

Did I say how much sleep I have had? Since waking Friday morning, I figure I have had about 6 hours of decent sleep (uninterrupted for at least 2 hours) and another 8-12 of tossing/turning and the occasional 15 minute cat-nap. I just don't sleep well when the Wife is not at home. Most nights I go to bed before she does, but even so, I wake when she gets there, and then fall smoothly back to sleep. It's that whole "knowing" they are there, I guess.

I've had the problem for the last ... well, in just a couple hours, it will be 24 years. Yes, Monday is our 24th Anniversary. And she is hours away, helping the Daughter move. And I am here, trying to sleep. I know tomorrow night, by the time I get home from work around 9pm, it is going to be a shower and straight to bed for 12 hours. I am sure I will need it.

Hoping for at least 4 hours (of sleep) tonight. That's why I am going to bed now (10pm).

PeacE

The Time Is Now

My internal clock is either a) broken, or b) playing a very sick and twisted prank on me. For some reason, I presume the latter. Currently it is 3:51 a.m., I am wide awake, and have been for about a good forty minutes. What is wrong with that? Last night, as I went to bed around 9:30 p.m., I did one of those little tricks to help wake myself at a needed hour: I said the mantra "Wake at 5:20" about a handful of times. In many previous instances, this worked well in helping me wake up around the time I needed to, most times, within a minute or two before the alarm going off (always a good back-up). Not working do great this morning, though, I wonder ....

It is daylight savings time in the U.S. right now. Could it be a reason why? I live in the Mountain Time region, though, most of Arizona does not adjust that hour as the the rest of the time zone does. When the shift occurs, we just keep our clocks the same, and basically become the Pacific DST hour. With computers, phones and other electrical time pieces, we even have  our own time zone indicator, something like Mountain Time (Arizona), or (UTC-07:00) Arizona (as it is on my computer). UTC ... Universal Time Clock? Heh. I looked it up actually. Universal Time Coordinated (UTC) is often interchanged with Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) which is the time at the Prime Meridian. So, possible my body has shifted a couple time zones? Not likely. I haven't even been out of state for quite some time.

Perhaps it is my mental state. Aside from partially insane and containing way too much sewer humor, I refer this one more to the radio in my work truck. See, at one time, when I had it in the garage for some work ( I think it was a resistor replacement in the electrical for the blower) they had to disconnect the battery. As usual, that reset the radio presets, and the time displayed. Now this particular radio is somewhat ... well, old and out-dated. Though it does possess a digital read-out and the ability to play cassette tapes (sigh - not CDs), it is still rather old, and has been exposed to the heat of Arizona at least since 2008, the year of its manufacture. Thus, the buttons/keys that are rarely used, basically are sort of stuck, and unusable. Those keys being the ones that pertain to setting the clock. As luck would have it, the presets, forward seek, and power/volume still work. But as to the clock the time displayed since the last battery connection, is about two hours and five minutes ahead. So if it reads 5:05, it truly is 3:00. One of those weird, and seemingly stupid, things I do, is use this clock for the time. I constantly know the difference from what is displays, and am calculating it whenever I need to see about what time it is. So maybe, just maybe, the mind tricked it self into waking me two hours before the alarm this morning.

Or maybe, that internal clock is just a mean and twisted. Either way, I am up two hours before I need to be. Today being a long one, as we have a Tech Meeting this morning at work, at 7am, about an hour's drive from home. Which afterwards, I won't have the time to drive back home, and yet, be too early to really start work, so will end up sitting at Dennys for an hour or two. Yeah, it's rough to have that much reading time, though, I really would be happy to use that time sleeping a bit.

Ahhh life. At least I won't have to rush to work today thinking I am late, or worry about traffic time.

PeacE

Feeling Beat

I remember being younger, and being able to put my body through a hellacious amount of torture, physically and mentally. I have come to realize that age has finally caught up to me, and the hells I put my body through, are becoming more and more evident. I am not just talking about my weight, though, in a weigh (heh) that is more true of most of the physical than anything....

But no, I sit her tonight, just after midnight, feeling wide awake. Granted my normal bedtime is like 9:30-10, though occasionally the 11 will come around if I have a good book I am reading. Oh yeah, and those nights at the pub when I am drinking til close - man, those nights hurt badly the whole next day now. I should be tired as all out though, today. Up at 6am, big gym workout, packing/moving, working outside in 105+ temps for several hours.... No drinking alcohol. No nap. Yet here I am wide awake, though physically, I keep yawning, and just feel beat. My arms and legs feel like lead, and muscle ache.

So I am tired. Rather, I feel tired. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to go to sleep. But just lying there in bed, I can't seem to "get comfortable", or too much thinking going on, or ... hell, I don't know. I just can't get to where I drop off.

I was hoping writing here would help, but I don't feel any different. Sigh.

PeacE