Happy Birthday Dad

 Today is (was) my Dad's birthday. He would have turned 75 years old, had he still been alive. Half that life now has been in the ground basically, since his passing in 1985. RM is only a year younger than he, though, as I write this, I'm like, 75 is OLD, yet I know Mom isn't that old.... it's a weird thing. Maybe because she is alive and kicking and Dad isn't? I don't know ... just weird.

Speaking of weird... The other day I made a booking for the Wife and I. Our anniversary is later this month (30th) and thought not a "major mile point" (only 32 years) decided we could try to do something to celebrate. The past couple of years, we just ended up going to Tucson and spending time with the Daughter and Doodad. Other times we just get a hotel room close to home, just to 'get out of the house'. This year I booked a balloon flight. Yeah. A hot-air balloon flight. It is a morning one, so we are supposed to meet at the offices of around 5:30 am. From there, I am guessing they drive us out to the lift-off area, and drive us back after we land. I am guessing it will be about a 3-4 hour ride. And I am scared.

I don't have a fear of heights, as many think. I have a fear of falling. If I feel secure at any height, I am fine. I enjoy looking out over the scenery. It's just when I don't feel secured, that any height bothers me. For example, I REALLY don't like climbing ladders, even to get on the one-story roof, for any reason. Thankfully I have sons for that. When flying, I do like the window seat, and don't mind watching the ground thousands of feet below pass by. this balloon ride though, in a basket, just makes my heart beat faster, and that feeling of anxiety comes creeping in. And I am paying money for this...sigh. The Wife is happy about it though. She always wanted to do one of these rides. I just hope she doesn't push me out of the basket.

Guess I should get the day started. I think I am going to run out (drive that is) to a local fast food joint and get some breakfast this morning. I am desiring a cola drink, and mean to have one!

PeacE

Nerves of Aluminum

Yesterday was a nice day in our desert Valley. Had just a touch of rainstorm come through, so temperatures were lower than 100... maybe into the 80's even. My son's concert was nice, and my daughter made it up from college for the the end of it. We picked up some pizzas and had a nice family time at home last night. Today, she heads back after her orthodontist appointment, but will be back Friday afternoon.

I made that phone call yesterday. The one to schedule a visit with my doctor. It has been so long since I was seen by him, my regular doc I mean. So long in fact, he is now in practice with his son. So long, that they said my charts were in long-term storage (pre-computer storage even). So, obviously I will be a new patient for them. Or rather, for his son, my new doctor.

I am nervous already. I think like everyone I dread to hear things I won't like. No one likes to hear just how bad their health is, or the possibly extreme changes to fix what may be wrong. Well, unless you have like a seemingly life-changing event like a heart attack and 4-way bypass surgery - or like my Sis, a bone marrow transplant - or any transplant for that matter.

I don't want to hear I am overweight - though I know I am. I don't want to hear I need to diet and exercise. That I need to stop eating large amounts of the wrong types of foods/drinks - not stop altogether. Moderation is probably the largest part of it all.

I don't want to hear that I need more 'strenuous' exercise. I use that "S" word, because walking further than from my car to the bar door is exercise for me. Yes, I hurt walking longer distances... the knees and lower back ache, and usually the hip as well. All could be factored because of my weight. Lose the weight, maybe they won't hurt, or as much.... or we could find out what more specifically is wrong (ie. arthritis, bad joints, etc.) and treat better.

Quit smoking. Heh. I smoke less now than I did 10 years ago. Yes, that is good. Stopping altogether would be better, true. I know I will hear that one as well.

So what we have so far? Weight, no smoking, more exercise. Oh, this sort of goes with the weight thing to, but no (or alot less) drinking alcohol. That's 4 major things, and I haven't even spoken or seen the doc yet. Four things I don't want to hear about, but know I am going to have to hear. Know that I am going to have to change if I want the next visit not possibly be by ambulance at the hospital.

(sigh)

What else do I worry about in regards to this doctor visit? Family Medical History. I need to be checked for Diabetes. It runs pretty wide-spread in both branches of my family tree above me, and even next to me. Easily treated... maybe by pill, or even at worst, injections. Minor things in this day and age, unless I don't treat it - if I have it.

What else? Well, it may be minor, but I have this patch of skin something-or-other on one of my knees. Looks like psoriasis, and has been there for several years, and actually grown in size over that time. I have tried over the counter stuff for it, with little or no results. Could this a possible cause of that knee hurting? It is the one that aches more.... psoriatic arthritis I have read about. Or however it is spelled. I need to have it looked at.

What other worries? Everything I can't explain away fearlessly or easily. Blood work - what if something drastic is found? I am not worried about things like HIV, but yet that small thought lingers. What about other blood-related/carried stuff?

Has all the drinking I have done over the years totally fucked my liver, and is it still working ok? What about my prostrate? Oh boy. I mean, I haven't felt any problems there, and it still seems to be working fine regularly and sexually. Do I need to have a colonoscopy done to to check for polyps? I mean, that department seems to be working fine too... least, I ain't noticing anything wrong. And would I notice something wrong excluding, say, major bloody discharge or pain?

Yeah, I am nervous. Am I worrying about too much being found wrong, or whatnot. Probably - more than likely. Does that help me feel any better. No. It's only Tuesday. Appointment is Friday morning. Half the stuff I probably won't know right away - bloodwork can take some time.

Four more days to worry. Four more days I am not drinking, though I want to more now because I worry. Yeah, alcoholic talking there. Doing my best (and I will do it) to not drink so can have the best blood sample to provide with no BAC (Blood Alcohol Content - for those not knowing) to worry about as well.

Are you going to be here Friday afternoon? After I get out of the appointment, and home to update? OR are you going to wait til Monday, and read about what plans were made over the weekend to start fixing what the doc says needs work? Ooooo..... suspense and possible excitement, huh?

PeacE

Overcoming your Fears

I know many, many people in this day and age have a severe fear of something. Several of us won't admit it; others talk about it openly like they were at an AA meeting. But 99.9% of everyone has one of some sort. I know I do. But I am not here to share about it. I'm just saying....

So if everyone has at least one major, severe fear, wouldn't it make sense that there are other things in life that scare them, just not as bad? Death is a fine example for me. I am scared of dying in a sense, but I know it is going to happen at some point. Maybe the manner in which I die is more scary than actually dying...

Another issue I am not here to talk about today. I am getting good at not getting to the point. Please elect me President.

*Sigh* Okay. I swallowed the bile tasting saliva, tightened up the belt, and overcame one of my more severe, but not the most severe, fear.

I visited the dentist.

Yeah, I know. Many people have fears/dislikes for the Tooth Doctor. Mine I think is just based on bad experiences while younger. I am not saying I am a toothless, younger than 40 (that's for you Sis) guy - just that the dentists I visited never explained procedures, didn't check my comfort with the numbness, etc. In fact, I see more and more of these dentists offices conforming to society by going out of their way to make them nice experiences. There must be many more like me.

So the Wife and kids have been visiting this one clinic about a mile and half up the road. Nice. Close to home. Kids like him. I have a filling that fell out a couple years ago. It hurts. I'll see him. Called - got in the next day (yesterday). I knew I was a new patient and there would be x-rays galore. But digital pictures too? And a tour of the office? Dang .... Nice place.

This Doc sat down after a brief exam and history, explained what is going on wrong with my teeth, using very understandable jargon, digital pics of the tooth being discussed, and the x-rays. Gave me options for each problem, suggestions, and recommendations - all based on his opinion and let me know the cost involved as well. This has got to be a dream I am thinking.

Then, the filling I lost was actually between 2 teeth, and for immediate purposes, he filled the holes with a plastic compound so it would stop hurting for the short term. I loved this! Concerned about my pain! This guy was good! I think they sucker punched me with some really good nitrous or something int he back room when they did the x-rays - the nurse was out of the room several times....

Bottom line came down to: 2 root canals, 3 crowns, and several cavities to be fixed. Worked it all in to about 8 appointments. First root canal starts next Thursday. Then Tuesday, Then a planing and Scaling of the plaque a couple weeks after that. Yeah. Not looking forward to that one. But he (the doc) actually helped me overcame a fear of dentists by walking me through the process and explaining everything (even if I thought some of it was boring).

So, that was the excitement of the week. How about you? Can you beat it?

The daughter has Sr. photos now. Will have to see if Daddy gets any and will post.

PeacE