Another "Nothing" Day

 It's Wednesday, and I cancelled the paracentesis I had previously scheduled for this morning. I do have some fluid build up, but it isn't overly uncomfortable yet. I think I'll go next week, that'll be another three weeks I went without draining. For the most part, the medications are handling my symptoms well. Encephalology has 'cleared' somewhat, though I still am having short-term memory issues, and at times, lose track/focus. With all the weight loss, the knees/hips/back feel slightly less pain, butt still requires me to use a cane for walking.

Yesterday ended well. I had my IOP in the morning, followed by a trip to Safelite for a windshield replacement. Afterwards, my car now tells me it has pre-collision 'something-or-other' and SEE DEALER. It won't shut off the message or the dash light. I figured maybe a few starts and stops would take care of it (like new air sensors with tires). After I got home, and had time to check my emails, I saw one from Safelite that explained the new issue - that if the settings for certain anti-collision features had been turned off, they will need to be reset, as the 'camera in the windshield' they had to reset the factory defaults when they calibrated it. They could have told me in person.... I headed to the VFW for the House/Entertainment meeting, and we finished early enough, I rushed home to get into the Zoom meeting for my AA/Support Liver group. I was only 5 minutes late, but the weekly meeting is done.

With the Para cancelled this morning, I do not have anything until 2pm with my group leader for a short personal check-in. I should work on the minutes from the meeting, but I don't think so today.

... and now I am off to do something...

Not Too Shabby ....

 Yesterday turned into a pretty good day. Started it out with a visit to my PCP, to update her on what all has been going on the past few weeks. Bottom line: she renewed 4 of the 5 prescriptions that were due to run out, cancelled the three I was told to stop, got me an 'urgent referral to the Gastro Doc, and once she had time to read through all the reports I brought her from the hospital, called me back to update me. Seems she didn't notice until going through the reports that my Calcium was reported as high, and asked me to return to the office this morning for an additional blood draw for labs, specifically for the calcium tests. No biggie. The office is only about 10 minutes from my house. Best news? My A1C is down to  from the 6 it was just over three months ago! Their referral desk even called me late in the afternoon to say they processed the referral, and to allow 24 hours for the Gastro Doc to process and they would call me to schedule.

Afterwards, I took a drive out to see RM. I still had a container that she had brought brownies in to one of the Riders dinners, and I thought I would take a look at her "blog" issues she was having when she was trying to post. Seems the window would shrink automatically down to almost nothing, and she would have to spend quite some time to expand it bit by bot just in order to see what she is typing. Weird, right? Well, I found out she uses MS Edge for her browser (I personally detest that browser), so I added in Chrome for her, and what do ya know? Her blog dashboard and posts page, etc. all came up normal. So hopefully, she won't have issues again.

Talked to the Wife on the way home via phone, and updated her on what went on at the PCP office. Then by about noon, I was just fatigued, so took a nap until the PCP called. Afterwards, I decided to actually go to the pub, and meet my buddy B up there as we hadn't met up since I was in the hospital. Shared what was going on with my health to him, and he caught me up on things going on for him. Was a good time. And I wasn't tempted once to have any alcohol. I'm surprised I was able to quit so easily. B had asked if this was temporary until we fixed what was wrong, and I told him I think it was a life decision for me. Now to work on stopping the cigarettes.

Slept decently last night (not allowed my edibles right now) but was woken a few times through the night to pee (water pill is working) or because of leg cramps I had to 'walk off'. Which brings me up to the am :hour where I decided to just get up, take my meds, and prepare to head to the PCP office (they open at at7:30am - hope the lab tech is there at that time).

Today I am calling a rest day, and will spend it here at home. Saturday I'll be at the Post for Inventory, followed by Sunday morning where I will return as the Riders are doing the breakfast. Then, for now, four days of nothing until the appointment with the Kidney Doc on Thursday (unless the Gastro sets me up prior to that).

Such an exciting time, eh?

PeacE

Not Sure What to do With Myself

 It's an early Wednesday morning, and though I wish it were because I happened to awaken early, but sadly it is not. I'm still awake since yesterday. As it nears the 5am hour, I just finished typing up notes from the Post House Committee meeting (I'm the Secretary) and sent out to the Chair for approval, prior to sending out to all House members. Tonight's meeting was long, long, long.... I say that because the Chair is someone that has ADHD (squirrel!) and goes off on tangents. But tonight, he actually made some points/discussion issues on paper, and was good about it, until he asked if anyone had 'other business', in which I spoke up. He gave me a quizzical look, to which I responded, 'we have two months of tabled discussions, unclosed issues that have not been addressed, so as I voice them, tell me if these are "off the table" or let's resolve them'. Big Sigh, but I had the opportunity to remove a few, resolve a few, and bring discussion to the others. Overall, was a good meeting, though longer than I like. And I think the Chair may be mad at himself for appointing me as Secretary (previously, the position was held by no one that took notes).

That being said, and 2 1/2 hours later (typing minutes categorizing as to new/old/notes/discussion) took me awhile. I just emailed and asked for an edit, if any revisions need to be made (corrections with dates/info/etc) and now I wait. He's pretty good, and I expect a reply later this morning. Our General Post meetings are next Tuesday, and though I am Aux, I don't have to take notes, but we are at the fiscal year, and elections for leadership are taking place. Nominations were last month, and I am sure we will allow 'last minute' ones, but in the Aux, I think we are covered. Thankfully I am not nominated for anything. My Secretary standing with the House Comm is 'appointed', just as is the same with the Riders Chapter. I don't have to be elected, and as usual, no male wants the job. I guess being a book nerd gets me the job.....

Spent this last weekend down South with the Daughter and family. I always love seeing my Doodad, Widget, and Babygirl.... oh and her husband. Wife and I stayed overnight (hotel) and Saturday we all went to dinner at Golden Corral (a buffet). SIL pulled a change on me, and jumped in to pay for dinner as an Anniversary present for the Wife and I (34 years this past Sunday). I was a tad angry, as I invited them out. I'm of the mind-set that if I invite you, I pay. If you invite me/us, you pay. Well, he got me that night. But it was much appreciated. I forced him to at least let me leave the tip.

I don't know about how normal people go through life (I always considered myself off-center of normal) but lately I have been doing too much internal reflection. Recently, the Middle Son has been asking questions of me (via phone text messages) inquiring about several things. Mostly about his grandfather, and my memories of him. Then about more about me, and the years prior to the Wife and I being married. As I turned these questions over in my mind, I realize that with all my children, I never talked much about my life, prior to marrying their mother. And even those few years at the beginning, there are many details that to this day I don't speak about. The Wife knows some, and I trust her when I said she can never share, but if someone were to ask, she could direct them to me. I don't think that happened with the Middle Son, but either way, he has come asking.

...and I don't know what to do. I hate talking on the phone. Phone texts are even worse, especially if you are trying to share a story...forever typing. Sigh. I told the Son to just text me questions, and when we can meet up, I'll share the answers. But as parents, getting time with your adult children, that is sometimes harder than actually answering the question. This Son has asked me some pretty specific questions, and some I have already replied to, basically telling him to 'wonder forever, because you get no answer from me'. That wasn't easy to tell one of my kids, but sometimes, there are things that even they do not need to know about my life.

And there we have it. Life. Been thinking/feeling a lot about it lately. Medically things seem to be going well. BP and Diabetes allegedly under control (according to daily testing). I seem to find new and more things to add to the list that I 'should ask the doctor about' which will never happen, until I have to. I know much of it is due to habits (drinking, smoking, previous drug use) but I tend to mark it as old age, and this body just falling apart. In some ways, I wish I were more like RM & PT where I am more fit (regardless what you say RM!!!) for my age than I am. But that's' where life gets you when you make not good decisions in your younger years. Sigh.

Okay. I'm done pontificating this morning. It's Wednesday. Happy Hump Day.

PeacE

Falling Apart: A Story of My Body

 I sort of did a 'body check' on myself last night. Not like, physically looking over my body, though there was a little bit of that. More like, making note of things that ache, or hurt, or are not in the condition it should be, or not working the way it is supposed to do so. I debated actually writing it all down, and presenting to the Nurse Practitioner at my August visit, but that is never going to happen. I have enough issues with her that I am not happy about, and just adding to the "list" of things she wants me to do with these other body failings.... I ain't got the time nor patience.

My knees and back have always been painful for me. I am sure mostly due to my weight over the past 20 or so years. Yeah, I'm fat. But I add to the injuries with the work comp injury to my back several years ago. Those discs are never going to be normal again. The knees? Imagine being 6+ years old, and riding bikes, doing jumps, and other crazy stuff we did as kids back then. Think of the accidents, and the knee injuries.... I remember one time wrecking the bike, and actually pulling rocks out of the front of my knees. Even the Wife has noticed that the cartilage for my knees is pretty much gone nowadays. I use a cane for balance, as the worse of the knees tends to want to 'slip' once in a great awhile, which usually ends me falling.

The new ache/pain is the right heel. I noticed several months ago, that walking or standing caused some aching in the Achilles tendon area. I guessed I had hit the back of my foot against something, and probably bruised it a bit. But it continued for months now. Actually looking at it last night, I noticed it does not look like the left one. At the area just above where a shoe protects the back of the foot, it is indented. So I must have 'banged' it and stressed the tendon. The Wife ( a PT) says there is probably some damage to it, but only time will fix it. So definitely not telling the NP.

There are other medical things that make the list: diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, liver issues, and if I believe the NP (which I don't) cardiology issues (heart murmur I have had since birth). Sigh. Why do I put bother making this list? It's depressing. I'm already doing what I can to fix as much of the wrong things as I can....

Middle Son came over this morning. He has laundry to do, and the machine in his apartment is broken. Maintenance is backed-up as many units there have broken machines. Guess the Apt Mgmt bought crappy machines to put in the units. So the Son brings his laundry here. I don't complain as it at least gives me a chance to see he is doing fine and kinda catch up a little. Wish Oldest would check in more. I did call him last night. In trying to help his GF get a job, I had her apply at my Company. Well, last week she got onto a project, but decided she could not handle the work (too advanced) and was going to quit. I told her to contact the manager and inquire about training (or videos) to help her understand the program we use. Well, I guess she didn't, and she just quit. I called him last night to find that out. She couldn't even tell me she had just quit. Sigh. OPC (Other Peoples Children) right?

Welp, this has got to be one of the longer posts I have written in awhile. Kept ya from being bored a little longer, I'd say.

PeacE

Shocking the World (and myself)

 I haven't had a beer, or any alcohol, since last Friday. WHAT?!? Yeah. When that pain started Friday, though it felt minor, I thought it might be somewhat caused from dehydration. I get cramps in the legs when I don't drink enough regular fluids, so thought I should spend some time hydrating. Come Sunday, when the pain started to worsen (though not terrible as of yet) I was still drinking plenty of water. Then of course, early Monday happened, leading to spending the day at the ER.

I know those of you that know me are shocked I have been able to go that many days without some sort of alcohol, and I don't care. I went to the bar today. I was up there a few hours, hanging out with a friend, did some reading of books. Drank WAY too many pitchers of Pepsi. YEs. Pepsi. No beer, no shots, no fancy umbrella drinks with alcohol. Straight-up Pepsi and ice. When I mentioned mid-afternoon to the Wife that I was "Heading out for a bit" (code phrase for 'I am going to the bar') she wasn't happy, and replied something under her breath about whatever, it's my liver. Obviously, with this issue going on, she was not thrilled about me  going out drinking. When I came home this evening, it was later (like I had been drinking) and I pretty much went to bed. She had not said one thing to me. When she came to bed, I told her that I hadn't drank anything but Pepsi, and she was a bit shocked (like I know you were). At least she dropped her pissy attitude at me.

As the day wore on, I don't know if was me, or the body, getting used to the pain, but it seemed to decrease in intensity. Still cannot inhale deep without a spike of pain, and prodding that area I am notified there is still tenderness (or something). I will wait until later in the morning (hopefully after a few hours of sleep) to see if there less pain. If it decreases, I don't think I am going to call any GI. I didn't call today, but will Tuesday to set up this new doctor to see for HBP meds. I kinda want to wait to see if this pain fades over the next couple days, but if that happens, I know I won't call. Need to force myself to do it.

Other than that, nothing planned for the day. I mentioned previously that the work project ended, and I am currently on hold until the next project comes along. I'll give them a couple days before I start emailing them about how "available" I am to be placed on something. Hopefully that will work better than waiting 2-3 weeks until they get around to me. Squeaky wheel gets the grease, and all.

Last Thursday, I heard from a friend that his wife and MIL had Covid. The MIL was in the hospital - her condition wasn't terrible, but enough to warrant it. His wife was at home, and I think only got tested because she had been around her mother. So my Friend had to get tested (I'm sure work required it) and Friday found out he was positive, though no outward symptoms. Tomorrow he is getting tested again, and hoping it comes up negative. Then yesterday I heard another friend and his wife (about 15 years older than me) were both in the hospital for low oxygen levels and difficulty breathing. I reached out to him and found out it was Covid, and as of now they were going to be in for at least 2-3 weeks. I know news reports about the Valley stating that around 2,000 cases being reported daily, and deaths in the lower double digits. I don't understand all that crap, and how they jade the numbers to fit whatever media mumbo-jumbo and party they follow. I still believe that this hype is so politically controlled, whether for or against. If you got it, you got it. Like a cold, or the flu, or pneumonia. It gets worse or it don't. Mask mandates - Bah! Vaccination requirements - Bah! I'm sure for some of you, this will make you want to thump your chest in agreement, or start up the riot act against me. I don't care. This is my opinion, my blog. I respect your opinions/beliefs no matter how different (and stupid) they are compared to mine.

Okay, enough ranting. I should go back and delete some of that, but I won't. Writing is writing. And I am rambling because I want to get tired to go to bed. I think drinking all that soda tonight has given my body way too much sugar, and that is what is keeping me awake. Definitely more than I usually have all at one period of time. So, I guess I should leave off there, and maybe go find something else to do for a bit.

PeacE

Health

If some person were to stop me one the street (hopefully without the television camera) and ask my if I felt I was healthy, I would say yes. They would probably follow that question up with, "Are you sure?" and my answer would still be yes.

If you have seen a pic of me, you might even question this yourself. I am overweight. Not just a "few pounds", I am talking like 50 pounds or more. I smoke. I drink alcohol - more than I should, more often than I should. I don't exercise (regular routine, or go to the gym anymore). I eat fatty foods, or foods that supposedly are not healthy.Sometimes I eat a lot of that kind of food.

Sure, over the past 2-3 years I have lost some pounds. I am not that fat guy over 350 pounds that had to use a cane to walk anywhere. Sure I try to eat more salad and drink less beer. My job keeps me active for at least half the work day, and I mean active like on the feet constantly moving, lifting "weights". I sweat a ton at work.

So ... healthy? I would say yes.

My buddy Don isn't, at least at the moment. Since his surgery to remove some cancer on the side of his neck, he is back in the hospital again. This time with pneumonia, that in my experience, he probably got while having the surgery in the first place. Either way, there seems to be some conflicting opinions of what people have been told is going on with his health. One report is that the cancer spread to his liver. Another that it is just the pneumonia. Either way, he was not doing good earlier this week, and got to do an ambulance ride Tuesday morning. He will be in at least 3-4 days for now. I should go up and see him, but with my work schedule versus visiting hours .... that and I hate hospitals.

Healthy. Yeah, and I just had some pizza rolls. Talk about breakfast of champions.

PeacE

Nerves of Aluminum

Yesterday was a nice day in our desert Valley. Had just a touch of rainstorm come through, so temperatures were lower than 100... maybe into the 80's even. My son's concert was nice, and my daughter made it up from college for the the end of it. We picked up some pizzas and had a nice family time at home last night. Today, she heads back after her orthodontist appointment, but will be back Friday afternoon.

I made that phone call yesterday. The one to schedule a visit with my doctor. It has been so long since I was seen by him, my regular doc I mean. So long in fact, he is now in practice with his son. So long, that they said my charts were in long-term storage (pre-computer storage even). So, obviously I will be a new patient for them. Or rather, for his son, my new doctor.

I am nervous already. I think like everyone I dread to hear things I won't like. No one likes to hear just how bad their health is, or the possibly extreme changes to fix what may be wrong. Well, unless you have like a seemingly life-changing event like a heart attack and 4-way bypass surgery - or like my Sis, a bone marrow transplant - or any transplant for that matter.

I don't want to hear I am overweight - though I know I am. I don't want to hear I need to diet and exercise. That I need to stop eating large amounts of the wrong types of foods/drinks - not stop altogether. Moderation is probably the largest part of it all.

I don't want to hear that I need more 'strenuous' exercise. I use that "S" word, because walking further than from my car to the bar door is exercise for me. Yes, I hurt walking longer distances... the knees and lower back ache, and usually the hip as well. All could be factored because of my weight. Lose the weight, maybe they won't hurt, or as much.... or we could find out what more specifically is wrong (ie. arthritis, bad joints, etc.) and treat better.

Quit smoking. Heh. I smoke less now than I did 10 years ago. Yes, that is good. Stopping altogether would be better, true. I know I will hear that one as well.

So what we have so far? Weight, no smoking, more exercise. Oh, this sort of goes with the weight thing to, but no (or alot less) drinking alcohol. That's 4 major things, and I haven't even spoken or seen the doc yet. Four things I don't want to hear about, but know I am going to have to hear. Know that I am going to have to change if I want the next visit not possibly be by ambulance at the hospital.

(sigh)

What else do I worry about in regards to this doctor visit? Family Medical History. I need to be checked for Diabetes. It runs pretty wide-spread in both branches of my family tree above me, and even next to me. Easily treated... maybe by pill, or even at worst, injections. Minor things in this day and age, unless I don't treat it - if I have it.

What else? Well, it may be minor, but I have this patch of skin something-or-other on one of my knees. Looks like psoriasis, and has been there for several years, and actually grown in size over that time. I have tried over the counter stuff for it, with little or no results. Could this a possible cause of that knee hurting? It is the one that aches more.... psoriatic arthritis I have read about. Or however it is spelled. I need to have it looked at.

What other worries? Everything I can't explain away fearlessly or easily. Blood work - what if something drastic is found? I am not worried about things like HIV, but yet that small thought lingers. What about other blood-related/carried stuff?

Has all the drinking I have done over the years totally fucked my liver, and is it still working ok? What about my prostrate? Oh boy. I mean, I haven't felt any problems there, and it still seems to be working fine regularly and sexually. Do I need to have a colonoscopy done to to check for polyps? I mean, that department seems to be working fine too... least, I ain't noticing anything wrong. And would I notice something wrong excluding, say, major bloody discharge or pain?

Yeah, I am nervous. Am I worrying about too much being found wrong, or whatnot. Probably - more than likely. Does that help me feel any better. No. It's only Tuesday. Appointment is Friday morning. Half the stuff I probably won't know right away - bloodwork can take some time.

Four more days to worry. Four more days I am not drinking, though I want to more now because I worry. Yeah, alcoholic talking there. Doing my best (and I will do it) to not drink so can have the best blood sample to provide with no BAC (Blood Alcohol Content - for those not knowing) to worry about as well.

Are you going to be here Friday afternoon? After I get out of the appointment, and home to update? OR are you going to wait til Monday, and read about what plans were made over the weekend to start fixing what the doc says needs work? Ooooo..... suspense and possible excitement, huh?

PeacE