Where Do We Go From Here?

 A few short weeks ago, you noticed I had to break from here, and from other things in Life for a bit. I was angry. I was not in control of myself, and needed to focus on 'me and mine' to get things back to the proper perspective. I don't think I have been that particular angry in probably over 25 years (another story for another time) and though I don't think it was wrong to be angry, it would have been wrong to act out, or say things, whilst in that mode. I think at this point I am definitely in a better mindset, and mental place. On the plus side, you got the anticipation of my return, and what I would bring with me.

Yesterday (Saturday) was sort of a big event around the d00d household. The Youngest was attending Prom, which included dinner prior to the event. Of course he isn't driving on his own yet, so other arrangements had to be made. The girl he has been dating, well, her mother is a teacher at the HS they attend, and was also chaperoning the event. This had been discussed earlier in the week, so we ended up driving to her place, picking her up, taking them to dinner, and then to the event. Then her mother would drop Youngest at home afterward. Dinner was Texas Roadhouse, and I wish I had thought better about the situation... With multiple HS's that many Proms overlap, and they were BUSY!! We ended up waiting over an hour for a table. Yes, Wife and I ate there, too, as it was easier for transportation/time, but we let them have their own table. Then dropped off at the event just down the street from there. Wife and I went home, as I was just beat. Then I spent most of the night trying to get to sleep, which didn't happen til after 3am.

Today is going to be a relaxing day for me, or so I hope. I got up at 10, just so I wouldn't sleep all day, and hopefully be able to get to sleep easier tonight. I have gotten in my play time on the Vikings game I play, and plan to head up to the VFW for the afternoon. With Nascar on, and Caution/Pit Stop drink specials - it could be fun. Besides, I'll be reading, which you know I like. I did manage to get four reviews done on books that I had been putting off writing up. I still have one more to do, and another book to read before writing it up. Keeps me busier than the (lack of) my regular job.

Welp, I think I have wasted enough time throwing up some drivel for your entertainment.

PeacE

Got A Lot of Nothing

 Tuesday came and went pretty fast. No, I have not just woken up -another night of sleeplessness... I actually have not been to bed yet. The Wife was sorting clothes on our bed, deciding what to keep, and logging how many of what size/type she is bagging to send to Goodwill/Savers. She asked for 15 minutes notice if I wanted to go to bed, but I have decided to let her work on that. the more stuff we get rid of the better. After I finish this post, I'll probably go check and see if she is done for the night. I hope so.. I'm starting to get drowsy.

We went out to brunch today - just the Wife and I. We hadn't been to 'The Place' in many months for a brunch. She had let me pick, and I remembered they had a huge breakfast serving. I was going to get some eating going on! Alas, it was not to be. Seems they have changed their menu since we were there those many, many days ago. The menu got smaller. The Hungryman Breakfast was not found.... I settled for a chorizo skillet with a side of biscuits and gravy. It was filling, but just wasn't the same. 

The MMORPG game I play, World of Warcraft, is having an 'expansion pack' coming out prior to the end of the year. It was to be this month, but recently said no, and pushed it back. however, today they still did a 'pre-release patch' that didn't really add any new content, just put in place the changes in dynamics that are going to take place (changes in abilities, etc). Had to wait all day (7am-4pm PDT) for servers to be back up, then I spent another 3-4 hours trying to get online. They were so clogged with people trying to get on for the new content (that was stated would not be there) that it was impossible for many to connect to game servers, including myself. Before I came to that realization, however, I had searched tech support about the errors I was seeing, and spent way too much time trying their fixes, when all I needed to do was wait until server traffic slows down (late night). Frustrating a bit, but finally was able to get online and play some. Even made a new character and got to check out some of the appearance changes they have now added. Cool.

My brother called me today. I don't know why I answered, but I did. He starts off with "I tried to call you a couple weeks ago, but you didn't answer". I was like, wtf? So I said, "I must have been busy. You didn't leave a message, so I didn't call back." I mean, duh. Anyways, I think he was just bored out of his mind. Was asking me about the pub I go to, and if their outside cameras cover only the patio areas, or over the parking lot. I said patios only, why? Seems a couple weeks ago one of his friends that came to his retirement get-together ended up getting arrested in the parking lot that night. Charged with an Extreme DUI, and also something like Collision while intoxicated. Supposedly, he was walking around the parking lot and the police approached and arrested him. No way. I think he went to leave in his vehicle, inadvertently backed up into, or rolled forward into, another vehicle, and the police saw it (the sit at the roller skate rink at the end of this small shopping area). Then when he gets out of the car, to "walk around to sober up" is why they approached him. I told my brother - Oh well. He's an adult. In some ways it was a bit funny.... maybe not so much now that I typed it out.

Well, I managed to fill some space. Time to check if I can go to bed now.

PeacE

Nothing of Interest

Not much to gripe about today. Aside from the 2am hour and I am awake and writing this....

Protests continue. Riots not so much. Lack of knowing what Congress is doing as media is focused on BS.

Just another day in paradise.

Kinda ticked this morning. I play World of Warcraft, and have in recent weeks joined a Facebook group, which in turn has a couple 'Guilds' on one of the 'worlds'. It's a 35+ age group, with many probably in more the 40s & 50s. Had some person get through the approval process to join, and they "stole" many items from our guild bank. It happens.... But then they took the time, to go through several of the members on the roster, and wrote small notes on several of them that were not very nice notes. Most of our notes are our names on FB, but many were changed to vulgar things. One of my characters was hit, I'm a "spazbot fucktard" so I'm just so impressed. This person also added "guild events" to the calendar like today is "Retard Day" and other similar type things. Needless to say, I am sure he won't be on for long once the GM sees this. Luckily one of the late night players caught most of this and was able to drop that character's access level for the time being.

That whole situation just makes me angry (like so much these days). By age 35 you would think you would be more of an adult than this. I mean, if I were angry at someone in our group, or at the group as a whole, I wouldn't stoop to this kind of activity. I'd probably write a couple notes to the GM and maybe say a few choice things in guild chat, then leave the guild. Why does one feel they need to deface/belittle people and steal things? Sigh.

Welp, I am off to bed again to try to get a couple more hours sleep....

PeacE

Another Day on the Hump

It's the middle of the week once again.

The son's concert last night wasn't too bad. Though, I did get upset and left about 2/3 of the way through the performances. Being at the Jr High, and having a 'combined' music event that included 5+ elementary school music programs as well, it made for a crowded bleachers in the gym. Yeah, we were packed in there pretty damn tight. Which ruined it all for me. I am not a crowd-type person anyways. I really hate my personal space being invaded. Though, I am understanding of accidentally being bumped in the back, etc. or the occasional crying of younger children. As a parent (and 99% of the crowd are/were) you expect these things at events like this.

What REALLY pissed me off, happened to be the 2 disrespectful niggers behind me. Yeah, I know. Many people (including some of you readers) don't like that word 'nigger' but that is what these things were. I need to clarify here for you people that think I am being the bigot I am. From Dictionary.com I am using this definition of the word nigger: Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive . a person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant,etc. They spoke broken English, and I have no clue what kind of backwoods jungle lingo mixed in that as well. Yes, they were black, too. They brought in 4 kids all under 8, by appearances I am guessing the ages. These children acted as if they had never been denied anything, and proceeded to jump around, kick, bump, lean on, swing around and hit, shout and cry, not only myself, but other people around. I was at a loss. As a normal person, I should have turned and said something to the adults that were with the children, but I had no idea if they were the parents (because they sure weren't acting like parents, which in my opinion would not have tolerated such behavior let alone in public). By the end of about the 5th song, my son was done performing basically anyways, I was fuming, the Wife had her hand on my leg reassuring me and trying to keep me calm.... but I was done. There was no way I would be able to even in the nicest way, confront them about their kids. So I got up to leave. One of their damn kids has the gall to ask me where I thought I was going. I was actually shocked. Not the curiously asked question, but more of a demand. Like 'Where do YOU think YOU'RE going' type. I excused myself down the bench (ignoring them) and politely saying excuse to everyone else, and went to the van. I missed the Jazz bands performances.

The Wife and I were talking about it over dinner at Dennys afterwards. It just turns my stomach that people could be so... irresponsible and stupid... YES, stupid.

Sigh. That was yesterday. Today I awoke not feeling too sore. Yesterday being the third time PT and I went walking, and I did almost twice the distance we started last week, and felt so much better. Doubled the time spent walking, too. Slowly but surely it is getting better, and I cannot wait for the results. The Dr office called me yesterday. Seems the pulmonary doc didn't get my oximeter report from that one night a couple weeks plus ago, so they were faxing it to him, so he can decide if I can stop using oxygen at night. They also said I need to call and schedule an appointment with this doc. Wonderful. So, working on that this morning.

Also working on looking for an apartment with the Daughter. She has had some major dorm-mate issues this year, and we had originally okayed her to stay in a 3-bedroom apt with a couple other girlfriends next year. Though, that all fell apart in the past few days as one has decided to go to another college, and the other made other arrangements to go some other place than where they had originally decided. So we are now looking for a place for the Daughter by herself. I think we have found a decent one where amenities are good, and price is fair. The Daughter and I are going to be working on it today I am sure. I know she wants to get a reservation for later this year into any place we decide on, as soon as possible to be sure she gets a place. Can't blame her with the college being there.

PeacE

dot dot dot

It's been awhile. I almost missed being here. I say almost, because, for once in my life, I was doing the right thing. The 'right thing' as I see it is spending the time I have with my family. Yes, I can see many of you agree, it is a great and noble thing to do. Why waste your time here, when you have those things to do....

Which brings me back to here.... it feels like home.

In the last month, and maybe some more days than that, I have devote myself back to the family unit. Back to being more in the daily life of my children than I had been before. Trying my best to be more of a father than I had been before. Sounds pathetic, in a sense doesn't it? Why would I have to be more of one, if I was a good one before?

Simple answer. I wasn't/weren't/ain't the good father I thought I was....

No. None of the children are in welfare. None are in danger in our home. None are beaten senseless in drunken rages, or abused in physical way. And as I see it, none are verbally abused either....

Best place to start, they always say, is at the beginning...... I like to drink.

You'd think drinking is bad enough, but that is what I do... now. And even that is being controlled by me. How much you can trust an alcoholic? Well, my Wife trusts me. That trust has done wonders.

But, that's not the home problem. It's about growing old. Or for some, growing older.

I am a 38 year old male, who loves his High School Sweetheart, (whom I married) and we have had 4 WONDERFUL children together. My extremely talented daughter (18) and the three boys (11,7, 4). That's if I got their ages all correct. I am not a stickler for that.

Last night, there was an altercation. Mom and the daughter were in another room, and the all I heard was the daughter 'sassing back' to her mother. Strictly my interpretation of it. So I verbally broke in, and told daughter to not speak to her mother that way.

From there, it went to hell.

I have an 18 year old daughter telling both her parents to "fuck off" (yes Reverend Mother, exact words of your 'Princess') and not listening to anything. It's all about her. Let the police show up and take everyone to jail, because she can be out of this house.

Gotta love that. In fact, it sounds so good, I should have a PBR in my hand, and live in Kentucky!

Needless to say, the Wife and I are at wits end. The Daughter graduates in June, and is going to U of A in Tucson. We have told her for years, she gets R&B there, plus whatever else we can help pay over what grants/scholarships she gets.

It's all true. But to me it ain't right. The Daughter still has what they call here, 'Early Hour' band practices. So, she still needs to be driven to school early, before regular hours. This week, the Wife has vacation - one of those job things. Use it or lose it. This is her week she took to get it used.

So, after last night's 'fiasco', I awake and find a letter from the daughter. After reading it, I assume it is an apology from the 'fit' she had the night before. No, it is a letter placing blame on every family member for her problems, and total blame on me, for how she has become a failure in life.

The letter stated that *I* did not: support her choir concerts, her band concerts, the marching band activities, the theatrical plays, the class plays, in short... everything she has extracurricular in HS. True, I have not been to all of them. And the important ones, like the seniors walk at last home game.... she verbally said she did not want me to walk with her.

If this don't sound like a bad 'redneck' family, you tell me!

Tonight... I went to a bar. I drank. More than I have in over a month. I waited purposefully, before coming home. I wanted all the kids in bed. I said ALL.Especially the daughter, tonight. I asked my loving Wife, if the daughter and her had talked about the 'letter'. No.

(sigh)

I don't know how ot phrase it, but I have had the WORST kind of things happen in my life, been presented with the WORST sort of situations, and SUFFERED the consequences of my actions.... but this instance with the Daughter... I am at a loss.

I gave up on Christ years ago. I gave up on believing in family about the same time. My self belief - heh, I question it at the most important times. My Wife, who has been there through it all, has been the one thing I don't question.

So, what do I do?

(sigh)

I ain't really asking for no one's opinions..... just getting shit off my chest I guess.

Like the song says... 'God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy".

Good luck to the fucker that can figure my life out. Call me if ya do.

PeacE

Imigration Post (or More Stupid Mofo's)

Been hearing many things over the last year regarding illegals, and immigration, and amnesty laws,bills, want-to's, want-not's, and border control. I am all for border control. I am all for kicking them out as fast as they come in. Hell, shoot the bastards as they cross for all I care. Actually, I think that is damn near the best idea, if we could just catch the majority of them. Shoot 'em and let their carcasses build that wall. Yeah, pretty mean and cruel but I don't care. I'm tired of my tax monies going faster to care for them. It's bad enough that it is going fast for the baby-boomer age anyways.

Anyways, my StepDad sent me this e-mail today, and I could not believe how literally STUPID this guy was answering questions. Now I don't know if this article is true or somebody's idea of making a point, so if it is fake, oh well. On to the article:

Here is a REAL INTERVIEW with an illegal Mexican at a protest march in Texas trying to reason with an Illegal Mexican This is good! Below is a good example of a discussion with a master of circular logic. Don't be logical, don't respect the truth or your adversary, just say what you think makes a new case when the previous case gets too difficult to defend.

On the streets of downtown Houston, May 1, 2006. Jim Moore reporting for a Houston TV station:

Jim: Juan, I see that you and thousands of other protesters are marching in the streets to demonstrate for your cause. Exactly what is your cause and what do you expect to accomplish by this protest?

Juan: We want our rights. We will show you how powerful we are. We will bring Houston to its knees!

Jim: What rights?

Juan: Our right to live here...legally. Our right to get all the benefits you get.

Jim: When did you come to the United States?

Juan: Six years ago. I crossed over the border at night with seven other friends .

Jim: Why did you come?

Juan: For work. I can earn as much in a month as I could in a year in Mexico. Besides, I get free health care, our Mexican children can go to school free, if I lose my job I will get welfare, and someday I will have the Social Security. Nothing like that in Mexico!

Jim: Did you feel badly about breaking our immigration laws when you came?

Juan: No! Why should I feel bad? I have a right to be here. I have a right to amnesty. I paid lots of money for my Social Security and Green Cards.

Jim: How did you acquire those documents?

Juan: From a guy in Dallas. He charged me a lot of money too.

Jim: Did you know that those documents were forged?

Juan: It is of no matter. I have a right to be here and work .

Jim: What is the "right" you speak of?

Juan: The right of all Aliens. It is found in your Constitution. Read it!

Jim: I have read it, but I do not remember it saying anything about rights for Aliens.

Juan: It is in that part where it says that all men have Alien rights, like the right to pursue happiness. I wasn't happy in Mexico, so I came here.

Jim: I think you are referring to the Declaration of Independence and that document speaks to unalienable rights ... Not Alien rights.

Juan: Whatever.

Jim: Since you are demanding to become an American citizen, why then are you carrying a Mexican Flag?

Juan: Because I am Mexican.

Jim: But you said you want to be given amnesty ... To become a US citizen.

Juan: No. This is not what we want. This is our country, a part of Mexico that you Gringos stole from us. We want it returned to its rightful owner.

Jim: Juan, you are standing in Texas. After winning the war with Mexico, Texas became a Republic, and later Texans voted to join the USA. It was not stolen from Mexico.

Juan: That is a Gringo lie. Texas was stolen. So was California, New Mexico and Arizona. It is just like all the other stuff you Gringos steal, like oil and babies. You are a country of thieves.

Jim: Babies? You think we steal babies?

Juan: Sure. Like from Korea and Vietnam and China. I see them all over the place. You let all these foreigners in, but try to keep us Mexicans out. How is this fair?

Jim: So, you really don't want to become an American citizen then.

Juan: I just want my rights! Everyone has a right to live, work, and speak their native language wherever and whenever they please. That's another thing we demand. All signs and official documents should be in Spanish. Teachers must teach in Spanish. Soon, more people here in Houston will speak Spanish than English. It is our right!

Jim: If I were to cross over the border into Mexico without proper documentation, what rights would I have there?

Juan: None. You would probably go to jail, but that's different.

Jim: How is it different? You said everyone has the right to live wherever they please.

Juan: You Gringos are a bunch of land grabbing thieves. Now you want Mexico too? Mexico has its rights. You Gringos have no rights in Mexico. Why would you want to go there anyway? There is no free medical service, schools, or welfare there for foreigners such as you. You cannot even own land in my country. Stay in the country of your birth.

Jim: I can see that there is no way that we can agree on this issue. Thank you for your comments.


Juan: Viva Mexico!