Life's Temptations

I got to quit going to bed early, even if I do feel tired. I was in bed and actually going to sleep about 9pm last night. Not too bad, considering usually it seems lately more like 10-11 before I am there. My only problem is, I guess the body is preferring to get XX hours of sleep, because today I am up at 4am. I laid there for a good 20 minutes before deciding, sleep was not going to come back at that exact moment. I thought maybe if I got up for a couple hours, I could then lay back down and nap a couple more too. We'll see if that works.

Temptations. Oh, they are all over the place when they are things you are not supposed to have. For me, it is food. Or rather, types of food. A year ago I would have seen something that looked tasty and if I wanted one, I got one. Now I salivate and drool, imagining how it would taste. The texture as I chewed it. Oh, I tear myself up thinking about it. And my downfall... is cookies. I don't think I have ever ate a cookie I didn't like. I care for some better than others, but I love them all in some form....or cut shape.

Lucky for me, all the cookies I received for presents, I was able to be rid off (read: I ate them all) before returning to the diet after the new year start. I figured I could do okay, as long as I didn't buy any to have around the house. I do have two butter-sized tubs of pre-mixed cookies (just add eggs and water I think) on the shelf, but I am in no fear of using them. Too much effort to make them (though I so love them warm and soft from the oven). So I feel pretty safe. That is, I felt safe until I happened to take stock of what was in the 'fridge the other day.

We had a couple days worth of leftovers, and I was taking inventory as I was searching for the older of leftovers for my lunch. Common sense, so that it gets eaten before going bad. As I opened various containers to see contents, I came across a tube of cookie dough. You know, a tube, like the plastic wrap kind you see biscuits come in sometimes. Where you just open, and slice the cookie dough, and put in oven - 15 minutes you have cookies. Hastily, I put it back, not even noticing the type of cookie dough it was. Determined I was not to be tempted. As I put it back on the shelf, and moved a couple things over to sort of block it from my sight, I see a tub of dough on another shelf. a Bigger amount of pre-made cookie dough. This was too much for me. I grabbed the smallest Tupperware of leftovers - not caring what it was, and shut the door.

I used to think the Wife loved me. Then I thought, maybe she still does and was going to make me cookies as a surprise. But wait, she has been so encouraging about the diet, that why would she undermine me like that? Then I realized what had happened. School fundraisers. May they be hated by parents everywhere for the guilt they put on you. No one wants their child to return to school with absolutely NO orders, and find themselves buying at least one thing (though they may never need it). I vaguely remembered products of this sort being offered by not one of the boys, but both this year. I think she bought one from each.

And it had to be cookies.... sigh.

PeacE

Through a Difficult Weekend

Whew! It's Monday! I know most of you don't choose that type of way to describe these mornings that signal a return to work for the masses. I am, at least this week, greeting it with a hearty WHEW!

Not like my weekend was overly busy.... but for the simple things I had to fight against. Trying to start out on a good foot so to speak, following that Friday Dr. visit. Though I will admit Saturday night, out to dinner with family, I STUFFED myself. I mean, I ate til I could eat no more. Even if it was only the never-ending salad at Olive Garden, I took perverse pleasure knowing most of it was good for me, and ok to eat as much as I wanted. Well, compared to me eating the never-ending pasta bowl (which really looked good too). More greens, fiber, etc versus carbs (pasta), greasy sausages (mmmm).... (sigh). Good thing I really enjoy the salad dressing at Olive Garden. In fact, I will have to get some salad here at home. Forgot I had received a bottle as a gift from RM of the stuff.

So that doesn't sound too bad.... mentally battling over healthy salad versus very delicious, and mouth-watering pasta with sausage. Sunday was my harder day. I had to get through the day without heading out to the bar. I swear, like 7 different times throughout the day I just wanted to up and leave, go have a few beers (which would turn into a few more). I had awoken at like 5am that morn, and ended up taking like 3 naps throughout the day to help curb the thoughts. And I was hungry on top of that! Wife brought home come Chinese for lunch, and I had TV dinner for supper. But I wanted more. I mean, I am working portion sizes here at the beginning before I worry about type of intake.

SO yeah! WHEW! Not that anything is going to change. Today will be another day I try not to go to the bar. That I try to keep my meal intake to a bit smaller portion than normal. In fact, I am thinking of going to the store and picking up some stuff for snacks. Doc said that is good. Healthy snacks help keep the body aware I ain't starving it, especially in cutting portion sizes. So figured some cucumbers (like them just cold and sliced), some lettuce - though I may opt for the pre-mixed salad so I don't have to waste time making it. I am not sure what else. I will do my best to avoid the Lil Debbie area (oh I love them oatmeal cookies and the cakes!).

Welp, Wife is up to start getting ready for work. I should get my stuff together to get going as well. I have a half-ass made list of stuff that needs to get done/picked up this week, preferably today.

PeacE