It's Hard to Be Positive, When You're Blood Type is B- ...

 I don't know where to start this morning. RM would say the best place to start is on your knees talking to God (not literally on my knees) and turn it over to Him. I did that yesterday. Still the issue runs through my head, no matter how I try to distract myself from thinking about it.

I got the call yesterday that Mayo Clinic is putting me on a another three month deferment. They want me to have a tox screen that shows NEG for nicotine and THC. The THC is giving a false positive, and they will re-address, but now they are requiring me to stop smoking completely. Granted, I am a light smoker, so the theory of quitting is pretty easy. Allegedly. But it is not that easy. I have to create distractions and new diversions to help me not think about it. Today is Day One, and for the 45 minutes I have been awake, things are good. I am sure to be somewhat irritable for the next couple of days at least. I did warn everyone at home.

While I am working on quitting cigarettes (and pretty much anything in general of smoking) they will schedule me an appointment with Interventional Radiology to discuss using the TIPPS procedure and making a decision to use it or not. Basically, it is way to bypass some of the blood going to the liver, back into my bloodstream without being "cleaned: by the liver. That relieves pressure on the liver, and thus reduces the ascites (fluid) build-up in the abdomen. They want to do this due to the frequency and amounts I have been having. This would be an outpatient procedure and would be corrected during the transplant. The idea is for less fluid accumulation, fewer paracentesis procedures, but has some downsides to it as well. I'll learn more about it at the appointment.

I asked about the colonoscopy they want me to do as it has not been scheduled yet. The nurse said she would nudge scheduling to get me in there as the booking is 'out there'. I have all the mixtures, etc. that they prescribed for this procedure, but need to know when to start taking them. 

I am sure you can understand how I feel a bit this morning. Trying hard to put the negative thoughts aside (Why didn't they say I had to quit back in February? Why wait now to consider the TIPPS?) but it is a daunting task. Day One for that as well. Making me work the Serenity prayer (which RM quoted to me partially yesterday) "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...".Sigh. Big order.

And the vibes keep going ... When I got home from my Para yesterday, the new office chair I had ordered was at the front door. I started to put it together, and near the end, realized there was one issue - the plate piece that has the side lever for raising/lowering, etc. would not fit properly. Four bolts were to hold it to the bottom of the seat, but the alignment was off. I could get 2 bolts in completely , one about 3/4, and the last would not align to a hole at all. You could see just a sliver of the hole, but no way it would fit. I can live with this. I finished by placing the seat on the shaft/wheel base (homosexual joke there) and sat on it, as instructed, to secure the attachment. I was happy. Until I went to lean back. The chair wouldn't. I adjusted the lever in/out but no change. I turned the tensioner all the way left, no tilt, turned all the way to the right, no tilt. It will not tilt at all. No bueno. I was going to put the chair in my car and go up to the store and have them 1) fix it, or 2) replace it. But I don't feel like doing that today. Maybe tomorrow.

Any other negatives I want to  throw out so that maybe I can just get rid of them? These are my major two right now and I cannot think of anything else right now. I also know I am a pessimist enough to wait for the other shoe to drop. Sigh. I wish I could quit adulting.

PeacE