What is Wrong With Me?

 Here we are again. Awake at a 4:45am and unable to go back to sleep. Seems like this is like the fourth or fifth day in a row it has happened. I mean, I do like getting the sleep I do get, compared to the insomnia issues I was having for years, but this is just frustrating. By noon time I am wanting a nap, but don't because I want to sleep well that evening. Doesn't seem to have made a difference, so maybe today I will try like a 30-minute nap and see what happens tonight.

Not racing today to beat RM in getting a post up. She has already ceded the contest. Just some fun because we were both waking earlier than our normal.

The only thing I have on my calendar for today is the Riders meeting this evening. I did complete and send out the Agenda yesterday later in the day. Only one correction was needed, and it wasn't big enough to re-edit and send out, so just corrected it by hand on my 10 copies I printed. Of course I did edit the document, so it is properly marked for record-keeping. Not much on the Agenda, but a couple bigger topics need to be addressed.

I have a Zoom meeting Wednesday morning with the Psychologist, followed by a paracentesis at 11am. I need it. I have been uncomfortable the last two days, and I stick out like a petite woman having triplets. I'll feel so much better when I get drained.

I need to go around to some Goodwill stores. I am looking for an office chair. The one I have now was a Christmas present, and has had the warranty (now expired) used once to get an equivalent replacement. Now the floor here in my office is painted concrete, so rollers are a necessity. From there it is comfort and 'wants'. If I hit a couple stores and not find anything, I may go to Staples (where original chair was from) and see what they have at a reasonable price.

Saturday, my grandson, Doc, turns one! The Middle Son is having a little come and go type party between the pool and his apartment. I signed up to bring a veggie or fruit tray. Need to find a gift that I am able to get before Saturday. Papaw been slacking... Hoping the Daughter and family will be up for it, but not sure. They are in Missouri for a weeding this weekend. Maybe the Oldest Son will show as well. Youngest is riding with us.

Here's a bit of a pisser ... So the party is Saturday starting about noon. I noticed on our VFW Post calendar, the is a VFW Riders State meeting scheduled 1-4pm at my Post. First I ever knew of it. It does say tentative, so not sure what is happening, but if it happening, I need to be there. So much for seeing the family. Sigh. Going to have to reach out for more info I guess. I just messaged the Jr. Vice Commander to ask for any details. There's a problem if this is happening, as our Chapter never received any information about the meeting, let alone it being at our Post. There is so much going regarding the Riders right now, I get frustrated at times trying to sort out, prepare for, etc. these new changes.

Well, I need to go to the Reading Room for a bit. Y'all have a good one!

PeacE

*yawn* Hey. Mornin' ...

 ... has come, and I forced my butt out of bed. The Wife is off from work today, so when my alarm went off at 7am, I was going to just 'nap until' it was time for my first appointment today. But no. I argued myself out of bed to get the day started. Have several things I Want to accomplish today.

First up, I have a 9:15am Zoom meeting with the psychologist on my transplant team. It shouldn't last more than 30-45 minutes I think.

At noon I have a 1-on-one with the Group Lead for my IOP. This will be my last personal meeting with her as I finish up the program on Tuesday. That one will last an hour.... she always gets me talking!

Those are the only things on my calendar, but there is more I want to accomplish today. I need to look up a couple crockpot recipes I had saved to try, figure what ingredients we have here at home and go to the store for the ones we don't. I am going to do dinner tonight probably.

Need to pick up prescriptions. I have been out of a couple all this week so far, so "my meds are messed up". I have notice that 3 are ready for pick up. 

I need to schedule a dental appointment regarding this tooth pain. It faded (finally! around 6:30p yesterday, and is only slightly bothering me this morning. Need to get the deep cleanings scheduled as well.

I paid current the balance I had at Mayo Clinic yesterday. Now to start working on my Banner balance and yet leave some monies free to help cover the dental work I need right now.

At some point by Monday I need to get out to the 'one-day' bread store out near RM's. We are doing hot dogs and hamburgers for the Riders meal NEXT Friday and we need buns. We have used this store before and they were ecstatic to help us out and donated what we needed. I am hoping it goes as smoothly as then, as I was not the person that "landed" this place for bread donations. Need to get an email out to the Riders who has signed up for what, and see if anyone will step up.

By tomorrow evening, I need to get the minutes completed and sent from the House/Entertainment committee meeting last night.

So ... busy day for me even though I know probably not all of it will get done. Appointments, dental, medications, then everything else is my priority order. I'll add in I may do an AA meeting today as well. That will be at 11am if I do it. Will see if I am busy at that time and plan accordingly.

I read this morning that my Brother has all five of his grandkids for a couple days. I am debating hooking up and going there to visit them. Everybody loves Uncle Ralph! Some I have not seen in awhile as they live far enough out of town I am not driving 4 hours just to visit someone else's grandkid! Well, depending on the circumstances, but to visit ... no.

The Wife has some things she wants to get done today, like planting some new rose bushes out front. I don't know if we just have some bad soil, they aren't properly cared for (watering, sun exposure), or what, but they newer plants seem to keep dying - no matted the time of year. I know she plants them in fresh potting soil, but other than that, I have no idea what she does, except water them. Maybe she just needs to add some rose plant food. I dunno. 

I am sure the Wife would love to do a lunch date with me today, but I just don't know. I have that appt. at noon for an hour, then I need to get meds, food, running around done before returning home to start on dinner. Sometimes when she gets an occasional day off it is hard to plan anything as she doesn't even know until the day before.

I miss my grandkids. I got to have lunch (Papaw's treat) with the Wife, Middle Son, his partner, and Doc - my only grandSON at this time. It wasn't much, but it was still good - even if the almost one year old wouldn't have anything but a stare for me the whole time. Cried whenever I would reach for him. Sigh. This to shall pass. I think it about time to go to Tucson for a day, or see when they are coming up this way , so I will be able to see the Daughter and family. Doodad is out of school for the summer, and Widget ... some of the antics we hear about her are just wonderful! She's going to end up sassy like her mother.

I am sure there is more I could write about, but I would have to sit and think about what. So on that note (B Flat) I am going to end this for the day with a funny.

 - I used to say "Have a wonderful day!" to everyone I met or interacted with. But now I decided to change it to "Have the day you deserve!". Let Karma sort that stuff out.

PeacE

Traveling Today

 This morning we are preparing to head down to Tucson for the day. We are celebrating the oldest granddaughter's (Doodad) birthday a day early. Since my morning routine is getting up at 7am, I let the Wife sleep in a little bit more, before I wake her to get ready. She says all she has to grab is some stuff for Doodad, but who knows with her. Sometimes we take bags of clothes, and come back with the same clothes. Wife's reason: I needed the Daughter's opinion on some items. At least it is stuff from Goodwill, and not some pricey stuff. I was smart and ordered my gifts online and shipped to their house.

Not much to write about today. The Daughter has taken in her nephew for a few days, so today all three of the grands will be together, with their Papaw. My heart is swelling at the thought, though I am sure I will be worn out tonight.

PeacE

Traveling Day

 I could have slept one more hour ... if the Wife's alarms on her phone did not start going off. I have told her time and again, set your 'get up for work alarms' for Mon-Fri, noy all week. Sigh. To no avail, as I am awakened at 6:45am, and of course, cannot fall back asleep. My alarm was set for 8am, so why bother trying hard.

We will loading up and hitting the road here in about an hour and a half. I made the Wife load my car last night of all the things she was taking down to give to the Daughter and Grands. Usually she waits until I am ready to hit the road, but I forced her hand last night. Hmmm, wonder if that is why she left the alarms on?

Yesterday I ended up down at the Post. I know, I kept telling myself that I physically have no reason to be there until the 7th, but I blame the Youngest. When I got up yesterday (around 10:30am) I saw the Youngest was dressed to go out. Mind you it is raining. I asked what was up, and found out he and a friend were going to lunch. Well, I said, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to lunch with me today. So I lost. Instead I picked up my newest prescriptions, and just headed to the Post - tired of being cooped up in the house. Of course, when I left, the rain had turned into a deluge and I was soaked pretty good before I made it into my car. And another wet one going into Walgreens. Coming out? Night and bright. Welcome to Arizona Rain.

A few short minutes after making it to the Post, the deluge came again, and rain visited us off and on all afternoon in different strengths. Flash Flood Warnings out until 4:30pm I last heard. Around 5pm or so, the rain let up for the evening. I guess we still have chances of more rain over the next couple days. I know we need it, but the deluges are not good. They just cause run-off and destruction. Need that steady rain that can soak into the ground.

Welp, got nothing else to ramble about this morning....

PeacE

Month Middle Blues

 It's just past the middle of the month, and finally, I feel like my meetings have started to end off (thankfully) and I don't feel so busy. Though, I did add in a Membership training event this next weekend over in Tempe. It's Saturday and part of Sunday. I did get a hotel room for Saturday at the event, and plans are now for the Wife to join me out there. She will do some 'thrifting' and catch up with one of our old friends that live out on that side of town, whilst I am trapped in a room with a bunch of older women, doing Auxiliary learning stuff.

Tomorrow is the VFWRG meeting - the last meeting I have for the month. Even late Saturday evening the Director of the group was sending me stuff he wants added to the agenda (I didn't add) and telling me to send out a reminder email of the meeting date/time. I mean, c'mon! We are adults, I am sure we can plan our own calendars without having to be reminded all the time. But I did it anyways yesterday. Last night he was sending me more flyers to send out, but they aren't going to make it. Somehow I missed his message....(innocent look).

It's been a bit since I seen any of the grands. Daughter does send me pics, and Middle Son, well, they post a pic every once in awhile on the family album they set up online.

My birthday is coming up! I set the venue (VFW Post) and time for people to swing through.

Now if I could just find some work....

PeacE

When Overwhelming Feels More Like Impossible Odds

 ... That's when RM would say something along the lines of, 'Drop on your knees, and ask God what you should do'. I know I could not deny her that fact. And, if my Faith was anywhere close to my Mother's, I would do that.... but it ain't. I'm not. I might have actually made it to church this morning with the Wife, but... I am no where near that level.

I spent a few short hours with one of my best friends tonight. He leaves Tuesday morning for North Dakota, where he is returning to a similar job he had about 10 years ago, as a Prosecutor, for a county as an Asst State's Atty. He was good at it years ago, and just due to circumstances, had to return to AZ years ago. Now he is returning to there, ready to take on the world. I am so happy for him. But I will miss him quite a bit. Yeah, we got text, email, facetime, etc. etc., but it's not the same as sitting next to each other, clashing beer glasses in a toast.

Overwhelmed. Oh help me find a starting point..... I know I have mentioned a time or two before, that with some of the multi-roles I have within the committees for the VFW, I feel I get under/behind things, and the overwhelmed feeling creeps in. Well, I still get it, and this month has been starting earlier. I want to explain they why, and wherefores, but I think right now it is better if I just not.

Over this past weekend, I finally was able to visit my Middle Son, and his partner, and the new Grandson (my first). Since the baby was born, the girlfriend has been in "over-protective Mom Mode' and it has caused at least one argument between my Son and I. But I held my breath, and finally was able to "schedule" a time to go to their apartment and visit - and finally hold - my first grandson. It was only a short visit - about an hour, because the Son was just home from work (works overnights) and the girlfriend was up early (allegedly the baby was fussy) so the Wife and I did not want to take away too much time for them to get more rest. I admit, I got to hold him the most that hour, and he got his 'Papaw nickname'.

Over the past month, as I fumed, waiting to be able to actually see/hold my grandson, I tried picking out a nickname early. With the granddaughters, I got to see them at least early enough, and as I held them, their 'nicks' came out easy. But being how this was taking forever, I tried to pick one early. It don't work that way. I had three or four nicknames picked, but once I got this boy in my arms, they all disappeared. I remember the Middle Son looking at me, and asking, 'Dad, got his nick yet?' And all I could say was, leave me alone, and let me enjoy this minute. Maybe 15 minutes before we left, the name Doc popped out at me, and so it is. Maybe he will be some kind of doctor some day....

So, in the course of four days, I have been on a roller coaster ride of self. From feeling 'bossed around' and what leadership wants me to send out (since I am a secretary) and my own moral/ethical beliefs, to feeling overwhelmed at requirements expected of me, to over-enjoyment of holding my grandson, and repeat. It has been flipping crazy. And add in a Best Friend is moving out of state as well. Sigh. Nobody said being a Saint was easy, and I ain't never professed, or even alluded, to me being one, but life has ben pretty messed up of late.

I have a feeling, this month is bringing changes for me. I have many, many questions, for leadership in all venues of my Post, and depending on some answers, I am sure will determine how I decide to continue, or not, my service (voluntarily) with each group I work with.

Such fun.... Wish you were me?

PeacE

What Shall Happen....

 Last night, the Middle Son FINALLY sent some pics of the new grandson to me. There were only about 10 of them, and most were from while at the hospital. There were a couple of him in the car seat, as they were to be released for home Sunday afternoon I believe. I'm guessing about that, as we were told they wanted no visitors while in the hospital. Though not happy about that, the Wife and I are trying our best to respect their wishes. I should check with RM and see if he sent any pics to her as well....

Monday has come around again. Sunday afternoon we had our VFW Riders meeting. Nine members showed up. Most we have had in a few months. we did vote to change the date/time from the 4th Sunday each month at 1pm, to the 3rd Tuesday at 7pm. Everyone in attendance stated that that time/date worked better for them. Hopefully it will for the other members as well. I spent a good part of the afternoon working on the minutes, and this morning have gotten the okay to send them out from the Director. So I guess I'll have to do that in a bit. Then I need to start work on the House Agenda for the meeting on the 1st. Sigh. I wish I got paid for this stuff.....

The Daughter sent me videos this weekend (and some pics) of the girls. The videos were more of Widget making squealing noises and smiles. She always seems to be a happy baby! We need to go visit them soon, as it tugs at my heart when the Daughter sends me pics. Thankfully, she does it several times a week...but still.

Welp, I guess I should get those minutes out and do something productive today....

PeacE