Today would have been my Dad's 59th birthday - if he was still here. Unfortunately, he passed away in 1985 from a brain tumor. A tumor we later found out was caused (admitted from the US Army) from that wonderful thing they used in Vietnam called Agent Orange. Of course, the Gov't only admitted this 2 years after he had passed, so nothing beneficial came of it.
So I have been slightly depressed all day today. Our access to e-mails and internet were down for 3/4 of the time so I am late even getting this posted. More depression.
I keep thinking how Dad never got to meet my wife, or any of the 4 grandkids from us. Never got to meet his namesake (my oldest boy). How my family never got to meet him. And all I have to share with them is a few pictures, and what stories I can remember. Heck, I was only 13 when he passed away.
So, I have no clue what I am going to do tonight. I should go home, but I feel like getting tanked instead... drown the sorrow. Doesn't do any good, but it enables me to sleep.
At least there is only one more day this week...
PeacE
Thursday, March 8
Wednesday, March 7
Wednesday funny
Since I have nothing of value to share today, I will put in my favorite joke. I don't think I have done that yet ... and maybe I will think of something interesting to write about.
Here's the joke:
Two morticians were working over a body one day when one turns to the other and says,"You should have been here yesterday."
"Why is that?" the other replies.
"We had a female in here, and her clitoris was like a pickle."
"Really? It was green and bumpy?"
"No. It was sour."
And on that note, whilst you all are laughing your asses off ( I am merely snickering since I am still at work) I got nothing else to say today. It's almost beer thirty!!!
PeacE
Here's the joke:
Two morticians were working over a body one day when one turns to the other and says,"You should have been here yesterday."
"Why is that?" the other replies.
"We had a female in here, and her clitoris was like a pickle."
"Really? It was green and bumpy?"
"No. It was sour."
And on that note, whilst you all are laughing your asses off ( I am merely snickering since I am still at work) I got nothing else to say today. It's almost beer thirty!!!
PeacE
Tuesday, March 6
... and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on...
Yes! It is time for another action-filled post from yours truly, the man of the boring life - ME! Geez, it sounds more exciting when I phrase things that way, huh? Well, I think that is all the excitement I can provide today. I don't even have anything interesting in my life going on to make it even look that way.
Let's talk about employment. Something most of us have to do for a good portion of our adult, or in some cases, legally adult, years. Personally, I love my job. And thankfully over the last 2 weeks it has started to get better. The Newbies are starting to learn what they are supposed to be doing, and work has been coming steadily across my desk the last 2 days. Now if I can get the paychecks doing that, which shoul dbe in the next month or so, life is going to get really good!
Countdown is on in my head for the OTL in San Diego in July!!! I know we are getting airfare monies together here within the next couple of weeks. I'll have to make sure I get the monies in for the Champions Circle for the pass as well. Then I have hte next 3 months to debate if I should use only notebook whilst there, or take along the camera too. Maybe I should get one of those 'man thongs' like Borat wears... Can you just picture me in that, ladies??
Speaking of swimwear, the weather here is getting nice. Supposed to be low 80's all this week. Should be warm enough for swimming about a month from now. Of course, that'll mean the 100+ degree days are not far off either. I am going to enjoy the weather now while it is here. Lunches outside reading... softball practices on Sunday mornings. Maybe even some nice evening at the bar on the patio or something. I dunno. I enjoy this boring stage of my life. Sit back and enjoy it a bit.
PeacE
Let's talk about employment. Something most of us have to do for a good portion of our adult, or in some cases, legally adult, years. Personally, I love my job. And thankfully over the last 2 weeks it has started to get better. The Newbies are starting to learn what they are supposed to be doing, and work has been coming steadily across my desk the last 2 days. Now if I can get the paychecks doing that, which shoul dbe in the next month or so, life is going to get really good!
Countdown is on in my head for the OTL in San Diego in July!!! I know we are getting airfare monies together here within the next couple of weeks. I'll have to make sure I get the monies in for the Champions Circle for the pass as well. Then I have hte next 3 months to debate if I should use only notebook whilst there, or take along the camera too. Maybe I should get one of those 'man thongs' like Borat wears... Can you just picture me in that, ladies??
Speaking of swimwear, the weather here is getting nice. Supposed to be low 80's all this week. Should be warm enough for swimming about a month from now. Of course, that'll mean the 100+ degree days are not far off either. I am going to enjoy the weather now while it is here. Lunches outside reading... softball practices on Sunday mornings. Maybe even some nice evening at the bar on the patio or something. I dunno. I enjoy this boring stage of my life. Sit back and enjoy it a bit.
PeacE
Monday, March 5
It's SOO Official Now!!!!
That's right! I have been informed by those nearest and dearest to the nether regions of my gas producer, that I am officially boring. In fact, I think it was worded something along the lines of :
I don't care to read about how many loans you aren't able to close, or fixing your family supper. What happened to the bar fights, and the strippers, and the funny/exciting things you used to do? It's boring to read now.
I felt the strings of my heart being plucked as I was informed of this, from across the beer-loaded table, in the middle of the bar. Alas, I, too, wonder what happened to those exciting moments where every night was not dull, and my friends that have lived their purpose in life can re-live youth and vitality vicariously through the reading here on my blog. Nay, I do not want to disappoint them, and bring the doldrums into their meager existences. Nay, I want the energy of life to ZING! through the veins, as they anxiously await the next chapter of one whose life is never without.
Ach! But it is a cruel, most inhumane world, but I fear those days are not always at hand. Alas, even I, the majestic alcohol partaker, the gentle bear of beer, the killer of kegs, the warder of whiskey must every now and then fall to the slow days of life. Hence, it may be awhile before I can again regale you with stories of the mights and triumphs of my world, or of the laughs and trials of the lesser mortals amongst where I may be.
May life's greater moments seize you though, and I be released from the doldrums in the nearest future. In the span of time to that moment, have a good one, and don't let your friends tell you your farts stink. This one is for you Jan - Pbbbbbbbt! Breathe Deep!
PeacE
I don't care to read about how many loans you aren't able to close, or fixing your family supper. What happened to the bar fights, and the strippers, and the funny/exciting things you used to do? It's boring to read now.
I felt the strings of my heart being plucked as I was informed of this, from across the beer-loaded table, in the middle of the bar. Alas, I, too, wonder what happened to those exciting moments where every night was not dull, and my friends that have lived their purpose in life can re-live youth and vitality vicariously through the reading here on my blog. Nay, I do not want to disappoint them, and bring the doldrums into their meager existences. Nay, I want the energy of life to ZING! through the veins, as they anxiously await the next chapter of one whose life is never without.
Ach! But it is a cruel, most inhumane world, but I fear those days are not always at hand. Alas, even I, the majestic alcohol partaker, the gentle bear of beer, the killer of kegs, the warder of whiskey must every now and then fall to the slow days of life. Hence, it may be awhile before I can again regale you with stories of the mights and triumphs of my world, or of the laughs and trials of the lesser mortals amongst where I may be.
May life's greater moments seize you though, and I be released from the doldrums in the nearest future. In the span of time to that moment, have a good one, and don't let your friends tell you your farts stink. This one is for you Jan - Pbbbbbbbt! Breathe Deep!
PeacE
Friday, March 2
Birthday Parties can be interesting...
So I was out at the bar last night. There happened to be a surprise Bday party taking place for one of the regulars named Tanya. She had turned 50 the day before in actuality, but everyone was throwing her a party the day after. Of course I got there after it had all started since my work hours suck, so I sat off at the bar and listened to the laughter and noisemakers going off throughout the early evening. There was a ton of food, but I sure wasn't looking to kill any buzz I got going on.
Later on around 8 or so, the party had pretty much settled down and most people had left. I moved over so there was a group of about 7 of us. One of the ladies, Judy, AKA "Pude", who happened to be a bartender there but was off this night, decided her body was going to have some issues, and was in dire need of a tampon. Yes, I did say it, a tampon. The other two guys in the group offered to run to the store to get some for her, and they left. I got to hear how the "spare box" kept in the office, and she had used it the last time. And someone else would go into a tampon story. I never had noticed how fine a job they had done on the ceiling a few months before....
Finally the guys called Judy, whilst they were in the proper aisle, to make sure they got the right brand/design/function. A few minutes later they showed up. I guess it was Barry's first time he ever had to buy tampons. I think Dan said he had done it once before or something along those lines. Me of course, I am married. I have had to do it several times. So overall it was a very interesting evening, and I had some fun.
Tonight is Friday. I won't be out at all tonight. I told the wife that I would take care of dinner tonight, and that the kids would do the dishes. She had a gripe session last night when I got home, so I figure I gotta do some helping around the house for a few days. Then she will tell me to get out of the way and things will be okay again. Was going to be a slow weekend anyways since softball is over for a few weeks. Though there is a poker party at my sister's Saturday night.... Hmmm. Will have to think about that one.
Alrighty esteemed readers. I best get back to something on my desk. I actually have been working here off and on this morning.
PeacE
Later on around 8 or so, the party had pretty much settled down and most people had left. I moved over so there was a group of about 7 of us. One of the ladies, Judy, AKA "Pude", who happened to be a bartender there but was off this night, decided her body was going to have some issues, and was in dire need of a tampon. Yes, I did say it, a tampon. The other two guys in the group offered to run to the store to get some for her, and they left. I got to hear how the "spare box" kept in the office, and she had used it the last time. And someone else would go into a tampon story. I never had noticed how fine a job they had done on the ceiling a few months before....
Finally the guys called Judy, whilst they were in the proper aisle, to make sure they got the right brand/design/function. A few minutes later they showed up. I guess it was Barry's first time he ever had to buy tampons. I think Dan said he had done it once before or something along those lines. Me of course, I am married. I have had to do it several times. So overall it was a very interesting evening, and I had some fun.
Tonight is Friday. I won't be out at all tonight. I told the wife that I would take care of dinner tonight, and that the kids would do the dishes. She had a gripe session last night when I got home, so I figure I gotta do some helping around the house for a few days. Then she will tell me to get out of the way and things will be okay again. Was going to be a slow weekend anyways since softball is over for a few weeks. Though there is a poker party at my sister's Saturday night.... Hmmm. Will have to think about that one.
Alrighty esteemed readers. I best get back to something on my desk. I actually have been working here off and on this morning.
PeacE
Friday Funny
My wife had e-mailed this one to me, and I thought I would share since I laughed at it. Talk at ya later!
PeacE
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.
Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
PeacE
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.
Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
Thursday, March 1
March - A Month of Madness
Welcome to March. First thing I think about when this month comes along i show does it start weather-wise. Remember being taught that if ti comes in like a lamb (nice weather) it'll go out like a lion (rains/colder/etc). I don't know if it is a wive's tale or not, but I always remember it.
Other things that come up this month: My lil sis's b-day (17th), St Patricks Day(17th) and what would have been my dad's 59th bday (8th).
I think tonight is going to be a rest night. I was out a bit this week, and I am feeling pretty damn tired this morning. Doing my best in trying to stay awake. I catch my self sort of day dreaming, or drooping my head. I don't expect any work to keep me busy til at least afternoon, so I am out of here for now. Need to walkaround to keep from sleeping.
PeacE
Other things that come up this month: My lil sis's b-day (17th), St Patricks Day(17th) and what would have been my dad's 59th bday (8th).
I think tonight is going to be a rest night. I was out a bit this week, and I am feeling pretty damn tired this morning. Doing my best in trying to stay awake. I catch my self sort of day dreaming, or drooping my head. I don't expect any work to keep me busy til at least afternoon, so I am out of here for now. Need to walkaround to keep from sleeping.
PeacE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)