I Can't Even Quit Right ....

 I didn't get done all the things I (said) had on my plans to get done yesterday. Went to the PCP, and played the update game with her. Basically, I gave her all my discharges since I last saw her in September, brought to attention any new medications the hospital quacks added, and asked when she wants me to come in again. Literally, it was about that short. She made copies of the reports, and is requesting any lab work done at the hospital, just to go over and make sure it looks good to her (and I trust her more than those quacks at the hospital, just saying). Let he know of my upcoming Endoscopy (12/3) and of course, the long-awaited visit to the actual Liver Specialist (12/8). We spoke briefly about how many times I have had to go in for the paracentesis, and I explained the Thoracentesis issue, and why I go more often now. She concurred with me (see why I like her?) and said keep doing what I am doing.

Afterwards, I had figured I would go up to my regular watering hole, and have some cran/water and do some computer work. I purposefully took my laptop and all just for this. But of course, once there, I didn't feel like writing the reviews I needed to do. OR much of anything to be honest. I did get some reading in, and that helps.

Riders meeting went better than I expected. Sometimes, it is nice to know you are appreciated, even if it takes health issues to hear it. So I have "stepped down" as Secretary, and may end up taking it back up come February or so. I told them I needed time to see this Specialist, get on his regime for me, allow a couple months or so to acclimate to it, and then see if I am able to do the job again. Fair enough, right? And, I don't lose 'status' with removal of the Secretary patch I wear. We decided to create/vote/and appoint an Assistant Secretary position last night, who will maintain the monthly paperwork interim until I come back, then continue in that position for in case I cannot make a meeting, etc. Yeah, it was all my idea, and they ate it up. So I am still an Officer....not that it gets me anything but headaches.

Now to do that again for the House Committee in two weeks. I don't think they are going to react the same.

So what to do with my day? I think I may try to finish what I was going to do yesterday - after my appointment of course. And lunch. I am hungry today, and it will be nice to be able to eat something of quantity and quality versus just a few bites and cannot eat more.

PeacE

I'm a Quitter

 I sent out an email this morning to my Riders Chapter. Sure, it had much needed information they need (the Agenda for tonight's meeting) but it also held my resignation. I have debated internally over the last couple of weeks, regarding the two Secretary "jobs" I hold, my health issues, and, let's just put it out there, some of my extreme irritation at the Riders current Director. Finally, this morning, I just typed out the words, and it felt right, so I am going with it. I do admit, I feel let down, and a bit saddened, as I was hoping this group would be different, but I guess there are assholes everywhere (I should know, I am one).

Today should be a moderately busy one for me, if I can stay on track. It's easy to give up and go lie down for a nap, especially when I Am distended as I Am right now. One more day - the draining is tomorrow. But today, I have a PCP follow-up in about an hour. I also have three book reviews I need to get written up and posted. RM asked about my Goodreads reading goal yesterday, and I admitted, I might not make this years. These past few months with the health stuff, I just can't seem to focus on the reading like I was able to do.

So, PCP visit, book reviews...what else? Oh yeah. Riders Meeting tonight (the one I just resigned from). That shall be interesting. I guess I will gather all the paper documents I have, to give back to the Director, and email him the digital stuff I have. Tomorrow is a paracentesis, and I am guessing we are going to drain about 10.5-11.5 Liters, from the way I feel.

The Daughter sent out a list of food stuffs we did for the last Thanksgiving at her place, and asks what we want to change/add/delete. The only thing I saw to add was salad, but since I am generally the only one eating it, I'll just bring my own. Being of the health I am, this list of food just looks like waste to me, as there is no way I could even do a sampler plate of it all.

For RM, I have started the Christmas Date negotiations. Justin was open to doing Christmas the Saturday following - I still have yet to check with the boys. 

I think that this is about all I want to share this morning....

PeacE

I got nothing

 Just me waiting for the next draining on Tuesday. Miserable.

PeacE

Sunday Morning, and Back to Bed

 Spent part of Friday up at the Post. I did not stay late, as chest was hurting, and I still was not able to draw 'deep' breathes without the flare-up. Saturday was a filled day. Veterans from the Veterans Home here in Phoenix were invited to our Post (again) for a lunch in support of Veterans Day. Our Riders chapter, and the open invite for any motorcycle riders, were providing an escort. Not I, though, since I don't "ride". But I was there to spend some time with the Vets. They were so happy to be out of the Home even if only for a couple hours, and to have someone listen to them, or even just they listen to us. I sure would not want to live in a home like this if I get that old and bad, but many do not have family to help care for them, or provide living space.

Afterwards it was a waiting game. We had Farmers Insurance and Operation BBQ Relief throwing a buffet-style dinner that evening at the Post as well. Open to the public, for Vets, First Responders, and the community. A local food place (Little Miss BBQ) provided the food and all. We have eaten at this place before, and it is extremely good! So I stuck around. C'mon, free food, BBQ at that?!? Well, no BBQ, but had some smoked turkey and pork loin. There were some sides, but nothing to write home about - no cole slaw though (pout). I did have seconds, though later I regretted it. Had to purge a bit from over-eating (stomach couldn't handle that much food). Talked to my Brother a little bit, and I was home by about 8pm.

Today is a "free" day, where I do not have anything going on in my calendar. So that means I need to catch up on my VFW reports/minutes/etc. That's the plan anyways. As of yesterday, the pain in the chest had receded quite a bit, and I was able to breather deeper, and relax more. This morning it still feels good. While at the hospital this past week, they did prescribe a new medicine, Midodrine, I believe it is to help keep my heart rate down. They gave it to me that night at the hospital, but my BP was so low, it wouldn't do anything (BP was like 90/57 and my heart rate was like 157). I hate that it is a three times/day with food, but at this point, anything to get this done with and feeling good until I see that specialist.

Tomorrow is the Marine Corps 250th birthday, and they are doing a little thing at the Post. Pot-luck dinner with a cake. My Brother mentioned a mutual friend was in town (finalizing on packing the house as they moved to Virginia) and he is planning on coming up to the Post, so I am making a visit there tomorrow. Tuesday, the Post is putting on three flag raising ceremonies, starting at 8am, but I am only going to the one at the Post (at 10am. I invited the Youngest to join me, as he has once or twice before. I suppose I will get his answer tomorrow. Wednesday is our re-scheduled General meetings (usually Tuesday - but holiday). Friday is the Riders dinner. I am not going. I sent out an email last week telling the Riders we needed volunteers to bring a side, and a dessert (one of each) and they needed to figure it out. Getting tired of feeling like I have to volunteer my time/money for every meal we do, as one wants to step up and help. Well, I am forcing their hand now. If it is a bad dinner, they'll know why. Besides, I am not big on meatball subs....

That's my upcoming week pretty much. I do have a blood draw for the Kidney Dr on Thursday I think, but no other appointments this week. Let's hope I feel as good as I do right now (or better) through the rest of the week.

PeacE

I Did Get My Ice Cream...

 Wednesday turned into a very long 2-day stint, that I am "paying for" now. Around midday, I was hurting bad. The Wife finally convinced me to go to the ER again, as I could not make it the 5 extra days for the paracentesis draining. This is the second time I have had to use the ER as they schedule me out so far. I ask for two weeks, they give me three plus... I can't win. So off to the hospital we go.

Once there, things explained, it went fairly smooth. Got the paracentesis done, felt a bit better for that. Then the ER doc wanted me to have a chest CT Scan done. I was against it, but the Wife has gotten good with her glares. That one said, do what the Doctor wants, or else. So I did. It came back with I have fluid in my chest cavity now. That lead into an overnight stay, with a Thoracentesis to be done at 8:00am. I'm still short of breath, my abdomen is 'sore' and still adjusting to the removal of 10.7 Liters of fluid. I'm in the hospital, so you know I did not get much sleep. RM did bring a McD's sweet tea (at my asking) but was unable to come up and visit that night.

Morning rolls around, and of course everything is late. I don't get to do to Ultrasound for the Thoracentesis until almost 9:30am, and let me just say, there is a HUGE difference between draining the abdomen, and draining a chest cavity. For the chest, I had to face the wall, holding a table between my frontal and the wall. Then the catheter is inserted from the back. They have to go between ribs, and the very unpleasantness of  pushing it through the chest cavity lining. I didn't yell, or cry crocodile tears, but the thoughts sure passed my mind. They drained another 2.7 Liters from there (for a hospital stay of 13.4!) and sent me back to the room.

So now I have an 'unadjusted' abdomen, a spot on my mid-left-back that feels like someone took a baseball bat to it, shortness of breath, as I cannot draw a deep one with the thoracentesis. Anyways, things came around and the doctor that day said I would be released in couple hours (by noonish). I so I called up RM, and let her know (she was thinking of bringing me lunch and an iced tea) that she shouldn't as I would be home soon. It was closer to 2pm before I got out of there, with a new prescription (sigh). We got home, and I literally, passed out in the bed. Slept until 7pm. Back in bed by 10pm, and out until 8am. Good sleep that I am sure my body needs.

My abdomen is basically back to normal today, with just some tenderness if I do something odd. The chest, well, I have never been shot with an arrow, but if I had been, it would feel like one from the back through the front of the chest, and it aches every time I move. Has to be muscle related. No large deep breaths this morning, but hopefully by tomorrow or the next day. Overall I feel much better for now. I do need to call and reschedule the paracentesis (that was to have been on Monday) to the 18th. And I am going to be an asshole about it. I can't hardly get pass the 14 day mark, without it getting bad, and now that it can slip into my chest cavity is a big no-no. So going to have to be firm about it.

Not sure what the rest of the day will bring. A nap I am sure. Though about going to the Post, but o major event tonight, and I should rest if I want to be up there tomorrow for some of the Veteran activities going on tomorrow.

But at least you are updated now....

PeacE

I'm Swamped With Stuff to Do ...

 ... but I'm bored.

Sure, I have a zillion little things that need to get done around here, at some point, on some given day. But I think that day is not today. Still got the pressure building up in the abdomen. Still have to catch my breath every seeming 20 steps or so. The Youngest and I were tentatively planning to go to the the grocery today, to get us some needed items (milk, juice) and a few unneeded items (soda, ice cream). I may just send a list with the Wife. Seems she is "flexed off" from work today. I guessing it means the same as low census - they just have too much staff and not enough patients. I just know, I could really use some soda, juice and ice cream about now.....

Huh. I ran out of things.

PeacE

It's Always the Little Things ....

 ... that make you wonder why are you even alive at times. Like, for instance, this little thing called breathing, that most people like to do. I found out I quite enjoy it, until it is taken away from me. Yeah, I have been quite short of breath the past few days. My next paracentesis isn't until Monday the 10th, so trying to hold out until then. Not wanting to do the 6-hour ER Room experience again.

So yeah, it's after Halloween and here I am playing the Stay-Puff Marshmallow man (or I feel like it). I think if I make it through to Monday, they are going to drain 13+Liters. I'm that distended. Oh, and eating? What's that? Over the past three days I have been able to get about 10-15 bites of food down at a time. I think I am mostly surviving on vanilla shakes right now. Seems to be the only thing I can get down and feel like I actually got something in my stomach.

So enough about me and my medical. 

I feel the eggshells under my feet crackle as I gingerly step around anything to do with the Post. This past weekend is going to have a few repercussions. Being Phoenix, and the last week of Nascar Racing, many of the Post members went to the race (they had campers, etc.). Needless to say, it included enough of the leadership staff, and working staff of the Canteen and Post, that some tings did not get done. The worst one being Saturday Night's Post dinner. No one showed up to cook anything, and it was not cancelled. I know the Commander is going to be livid, as this is the 2nd month in a row this has happened. Tonight is the House & Entertainment Committee meetings, and I am leery as to if the Commander will be there tonight. Normally these comms do not deal with the Post Dinner, but seeing as how many are part of the crew that helps on them.....who knows. I know I did my job(s) and I ain't in the line of fire.

Welp, ain't gonna do no one no good to sit here and gripe about it.

PeacE