A Decent Weekend

 Yesterday we had the pleasure of the Daughter and family up from Tucson. She had let us know a couple days prior that they would be in town, and maybe, if their plans allowed it, that dinner could happen. Well, it did, and for once, I did not have to pay. The SIL insisted on paying this time around. That was nice, as having 6+ people to sit down for dinner at a nice restaurant can get pricey. This also gave us a chance to take birthday presents for Doodad (which she loved).

Today, Sunday, the Wife and I will be attending a 'memorial service' for a mutual friend of ours. I had met this lady many years ago in one of my first jobs, and later on we even became neighbors in an apartment community, where the Wife got to know her as well. She passed away (from Covid-like complications I believe) last year, around late August I think it was, but the two daughters have finally put together a type of service. It is being held at one of the nicer parks near here, and they mentioned there was going to be barbecue, but nothing else noted. I think the Wife and I will grab lunch before, just in case. I am sure there will be only two people we would know, the daughters, so don't expect to stay a terribly long time.

Welp, I got the urge for the 'daily' so need to get off of here....

PeacE

It's Been A Long Time ....

 I have been married for over half of my life. I can honestly say, it feels like it, too. That's not a bad thing. I have been lucky enough, to find that truly special someone that completes me, and that magic has now brought us to thirty-two years of marriage - nearly thirty-four of being together. That being said, I have no special plans for the day, or the evening. Not being sure when she will finish with work today, I dare not make dinner plans. Our hot-air balloon ride on Saturday morning is my contribution to the event. I may go out and get a card, and a chocolate bar for her just for today.

I shared recently about getting a senior discount, and how I was honest with the person, that I truly wasn't a senior, as my age was still below the criteria. It is not the first time it has happened. I have also received Veteran discounts, also without my asking. Most times, I don't even notice the discount was given until I look at the receipt afterwards. It is frustrating being judged, without being asked, even though I am sure that the discounts do not "hurt" the financials of these companies. Something similar happened yesterday.

I went out to get the mail. There were a couple pieces, and as I stood outside having a cigarette, I looked them over. One was obvious junk mail, being a flyer/postcard for some local business that we aren't interested in. The other was an envelope from one of the (many) funeral homes in the Valley. My first thought, was, I'm barely into my 50's, why are they marketing me already? I felt singled out. But it was simply addressed to "The (LASTNAME) Family". I opened it, expecting to see brochures for the services they provide, and was somewhat surprised to not see any. There was a latter, asking that we complete a survey, and mail it back in a pre-paid envelope provided. In exchange, they will send a "Final Wishes Organizer". Hmmmmm. I glanced through the questions, and decided, why not? I'll be doing that here shortly. They do ask for name/address/telephone/email, and I think it safe to just do name & address. Maybe the email - to one of my spam email receiving accounts. If they send the booklet, it might have info we have not thought of.

Wow. Weird how my mind works. I started the post about how wonderful it is to celebrate 32 years of marriage to talking about death. Coincidence?

PeacE

Bad News - Good News

 After writing the post on Monday, about how unwell Daisy had been, etc, she passed away that afternoon. The Wife was upset, as I had expected, but not as bad as it could have been. After all, we knew with her health that Daisy wasn't much longer for this mortal plane. Youngest dealt with it well, and helped me with Daisy's remains.

The house feels somewhat emptier without the dog here. I find myself looking at Daisy's preferred places to recline throughout the house, and seeing them empty. Yes, with three cats still  here, it does make a difference. I guess we won't have to worry about buying dog food now...

The Oldest Son came by today. We had texted yesterday about his car FINALLY being ready from the repair shop, that he confirmed this morning. So I went with him and drove it back to our house. This will become the Youngest's car, if he ever takes his permit test. We are compensating the Oldest a certain amount off what he owes us (from his newer car purchase). It was nice to catch up a little bit with him this morning - The Oldest that is. Plans are for him to come back over Monday (his day off) and we will go take care of the registration/title changes, so I will get to see him again soon.

It is only Wednesday, and already this week has been filled with good and bad news. Thursday is the 32nd anniversary for the Wife and I. We are celebrating on Saturday by taking a morning hot-air balloon ride. It is something the Wife has always wanted to do. I'm feeling some anxiety about the ride. Between a fear of falling, and bouts of vertigo, I am not sure how enjoyable it will be for me. I think I should be able to be okay as long as I am not leaning over the rail.... be too easy for the Wife to push me over anyways.

PeacE

Death Is Among Us

 For the last several weeks, the health of our dog, Daisy, has deteriorated so much that she looks terrible. She is a Chihuahua-Dachsund mix, so imagine a stretched out long-wise chihuahua. Daisy is approximately fifteen years old, and is truly at the 'old age' of her a lifespan. For the last week, we have not been able to get her to eat much of anything, and have tried variations of soft dog foods with not much success. Thus, her weight has severely dropped, and one can see her bones protruding from her skin now. This morning, I rose from bed to find her almost directly under my feet, still as could be. As I watched for a moment, trying to process if she was dead, I noticed she still yet took breath, though I fear it may not last through the day.

I say through the day, but who truly knows. Last Monday I was talking to the Youngest, about how I was not sure how much longer Daisy would last, and he had mentioned he expected maybe three more days. Note that was last week. He seems pretty well prepared for her passing away. I don't know if I could say the same for the Wife - she tends to be so full of empathy most times. Personally, I didn't care for the dog. I never wanted her, and she was brought home against my advice. I have already stated we should not get another dog after Daisy passes. Cats at least can 'take care of themselves' where dogs can't, and I would like the ability to do overnight trips without having to worry about the dog's care.

Sigh.

We have not bothered with having a veterinarian look at her. Both of us are fairly sure it is just simply old age for her. Our previous dog of seventeen years, was the same breed, and her end was very similar. Besides, who needs to rack up those kind of costs, am I right? Body disposal is now my worry. I would rather just put it in a garbage bag for collection (not allowed) because I don't want to pay the money to have to transport it somewhere and pay for the animal disposal. But will probably end up in the backyard, digging a hole (as we did for the cat, Nimbus, that passed some time ago). Not supposed to do that within the city either, but oh well.

Makes me think back to watching my Dad the year prior to him passing away. No, he didn't 'waste away' like some, but one could see parts of him going. I always considered him a very intelligent person, and as his speech became harder to interpret due to the cancer making him say wrong words/phrases.... just one of the ways. There were the physical ones - becoming paralyzed on the right arm/leg, excessive weight gain due to meds, so many other things.

Sigh.

I'm getting maudlin, and I haven't even been drinking. Onto other things for now....

PeacE

Livin' It Up

 Wow, there has been so much excitement the last few days....not!

Sunday, I did end up at the pub at the 'regular' time, and of course, no one showed up until nearly 2 in the afternoon. One friend didn't come (again) as he and his girlfriend were preparing to go to Las Vegas in a day or so. The games were boring, and the company just 'Meh', as the one friend (the owner) had to keep running around doing stuff.

The Wife had texted me shortly after I had gotten there, that a good friend of 30+ years had passed away that morning. She had heard from one of the daughters. I had known this lady back when I first started working in an office, and shared so much with her over those years. Though she had moved to the Williams area several years ago, we kept in touch. I was aa bit surprised to hear about her passing, but not surprised as she was older by several years, and had not been in the best of health. Just hurts a bit when you lose a friend.

Monday was MLK day - not that I ever cared. The Youngest got to stay home from school, yet I had to work. Well, they gave us an option. We could take the day, and work four 10-hour days the rest of the week (to make 40 hours if we wanted) or could work that day. I chose to work. No sense not working when I didn't have any other plans to do anything. Yesterday, the workload we were currently working on dried up, and this morning already there is a message that they will contact us when the next part is ready. So who knows how long I'll be sitting here waiting this morning. 'They' estimate an hour or so (from about 7am) but who truly knows. All I know is I am not working past 4pm today. I got things to do...

Welp, I guess I will mosey on out of here and do some more of my internet stuff whilst waiting to hear from the job.

PeacE

WTF? SMH (/facepalm)

 Since Wednesday, this post title is pretty much explaining how I have felt about a situation going on. Let's just say, there were some unexpected surprises about things, mysteries that showed up and never got solved. And an Aunt passed away earlier today. I'm still in a sort of stasis about the whole thing, and I don't think it will correct itself, as some  of the whys, hows, and again, why, will never be known. I am trying to be nice, and not sound callous (though I tend to be apathetic about things sometimes) but I was not "close" to this Aunt, nor her children (my Cousins). In my memories I have not recollected any fond memory of her. I think the bottom line is she was tired of living in pain (had RA) and is now passed away.

Thursday I finally heard from the Company. But it took a couple hours for me to get a reply to the email, so by then the project they were getting workers for 'filled up' and left me hanging. Hopefully this next week another will be starting (or a current one opening up more positions). But either way kind of works for me, as I have the diabetic eye screening on Monday, and a regulardoctor appointment on Friday. I am sure there will be a prescription medication dosage increase as my numbers are not quite where he said he wants them - but they are close. Hopefully if he has to up the diabetic one, the insurance will approve the coverage since he has proof the numbers are not up to where he would like them.

Two in the morning and I just finished talking for a bit with the Youngest. I let him stay up a little later as he was teaming up with Guildies to do some Warcraft raids or dungeons or something. Then as he said he was ready for bed, I kind of went over the schedule of stuff I knew we had going on this week, so if I was not home, he would have an idea as to why.

So talking to one of the ladies I knwo from the VFW, she has been having some problems with her iPad. Basically, it would not let her access the tablet, as the code had changed from a 4-digit one to a 6-digit. I did some reading and found out why, and some ways that may work to fix it. We tried the easy ones over this past week, and none worked. So Friday I met up with her at the VFW and picked up the tablet, adn was going to do a factory restore on it. The only thing she would be losing is the books she had downladed, from Amazon, but can be re-downladed once she has access again. So I started that today, thinking it would be an hour or so then be done - nope. Download estimate was 4 hours. Then 5 hours, after the Wife got up and got on her computer. I knew when the Son would be up, between the three of us being online, the d/l would slow even more, so I paused it. As I try to sleep again here soon, I will leave it running (right now est is 3 hours).

Might go see the Top Gun movie tomorrow (later today). Haven't decided for sure. Youngest and Wife want to see it as well, so I guess I should take them. Guess I am gonna mosey on out. Should go try to lay down again, but not quite feeling any tiredness yet, so will prolly delay that another hour.

PeacE

Not in the Mood to Work

 Today is just one of those days where I just wanna lay in bed and do absolutely nothing. I don't know if it is because the storm that came through in the early hours today, or what. I have been "at work" the past three hours, and am just not feeling the regular "let's get it done" that I usually do. I'm dragging. In fact, I am jumping back and forth in writing this and working.

Been pretty mellow since I got back from ND. The Wife took off and headed to Tucson for a get-away yesterday, leaving me and the Youngest at home. I finally was able to get my temporary card for the VFW Aux. printed, and there was a meeting last night, so I went. Besides, beer is cheaper at the canteen there then the regular bar. It was ... different than I expected. Though, I do feel in the next few months I will be getting more involved with this group. I like some of the things they are doing. Even though I have a Lifetime membership, I am not required to do anything, or even attend meetings. But I think I will.

Afterwards, I met up with my buddy and we talked a bit. While we were in ND, a micro-burst had hit his house. Tore the roof completely off the two-car carport he has, and threw it diagonally across his yard and into a neighbor diagonally behind his house. Also ripped two a/c units from the roof, though not off it. Collapsed a brick pillar at the carport, that somehow managed to not hit his car. He was hoping the rain we got wouldn't hit, as he still has one a/c not replaced, and there is a tarp covering the hole in the roof. I'll be seeing him and another bud tonight to watch the NBA game, and will find out.

Looks like Saturday I will be attending a Celebration of Life for a friend of a friend. This guy, Hollis, I had spoken with a few times on the phone, but we had not had the chance to meet in person, passed away about three weeks ago. his funeral was in Texas, but his wife wanted to do a CoL here as well. Last night, I had heard she had been in Vegas for three days, and while gone, the house was burgled. Ain't that shit on top of losing her husband?! Guess jewelry and electronics were taken, though I am not sure of how much. Some of the jewelry was sentimental valued versus just being expensive. I feel bad about that, but there isn't anything I can do.

Guess that's all I got to ramble about for now.

PeacE

Another Friend Gone

 I got a call from my buddy J about an hour ago. Seems a friend of his, that  had not had a chance to meet, passed away last night. This friend had been going some medical issues, but they certainly weren't supposed to be life threatening ones. This friend's girlfriend found him when she returned home yesterday evening. The talk was this friend was going to join on in ND this July as well. Guess that's not happening, and the only way I'll meet him now is at his funeral. I was lucky to have had the chance to talk to him over the phone a few times at least. H was a funny guy, a novelist, and an attorney.

I know it is just a fact of life, that the older we get, it seems the more people we know pass away. Sure they are... they are getting old too! Just not a fun thought.

Finished up this work project a few days early, so now am waiting the next one.

I think I am going to have a drink.... and raise one for H.

PeacE

Reasonable Update

After that last post... my MIL has passed. The Wife is Executioner of the estate.

That being said, she has 4 older brothers, and thankfully, there has been no contest of anything. The Wife received the house (deeded to her as rights of survivorship, set up back when my FIL was on his way to bad health). And the house is obviously not part of the "estate", and we decided we wanted to move there from our home. It's only about a 1/2 mile from us, mortgage-free, and larger. Plus it is the Wife's family home. A win-win.... though now I have to deal with clearing it out, then moving.

The rest of the estate is basically stuff that I don't care about. The brothers aren't voicing dissension about anything as of this point, and I don't expect them to, until financial things come up. Everything is pretty cut and dry, except money MIL had loaned out, with promise of repayment, now coming due. I'm sure those people may protest that... but not a point this week.

We have been going through the new home, unpacking and re-organizing the multitude of boxes that MIL and FIL had had in the house as storage. They were always collecting clothes/materials to distribute to the community churches that FIL had overseen. Though Dad had passed a few years ago, MIL had not gotten rid of much... so that falls to us, as we make room to move in. Much of it is clothing, which as we sort through it and organize, will be given to local charities such as the women's crisis center, etc. We are trying to stay away from Goodwill and other donation drop-offs as they make a profit, versus the non-profits. Though I am sure there will be a point that there are things we will have no place other than them to leave them at...or go to the dump.

Needless to say, between these events, and regular work, looking for a job, and just life in general, it has stretched me far and thin (though I haven't lost weight-damn!). I have a lower tolerance for my siblings (aside from other incidents that I may have posted about before... not sure). Reverend Mother I am sure prays every day for me (and the other siblings) but even my contact with her and PT has been limited due to us needing to get stuff done. RM knows this... and she'll read this and get reminded.

SO my days are full. And I am getting tired. Of everything. Too young to retire, and not enough monies to do so anyways.... sigh.

PeacE

Some Weeks Just Suck

I had barely started work when Sis texted me that my Grandpa had passed that morning. Great start to a Monday. I am mixed with emotions even now as to what I should be feeling. Sad, obviously as a bit of grieving is in order. Happy, because he has moved on to be with Dad, Grandma, and Uncle Earl, plus the stress the uncles were under in with him at the retirement manor, managing things, etc. Needless to say, I was not planning on flying back to Indiana for the funeral, which is this weekend. Sis and Stuman are going.

Of course, today is Tuesday, and let's throw another zinger my way! Tonight on the way home from work, my check engine light came on, flashing. Felt a stuttering-type through the car (I was on the highway doing 60'ish). For a few miles I debated pulling over and shutting it off, but was worried if I did, I would not be able to re-start the car. So, may not have been the brightest thing, but I exited the freeway and took surface streets headed to my area of town. At red lights I had to shift into neutral due to some rough idling. Plus every time I accelerated, the flashing engine light would pop back on, but go off when decelerating, or at a stop. I took it ton the local Pep Boys, as they did the last work I had done (water pump). Their mechanics had just left for the day (yeah... just left) and they couldn't/wouldn't look at it until 7am tomorrow. So I had to leave it. Good thing Oldest son was able to pick me up and get me home.

Once home, I probably did another not so smart thing. I looked up on the internet what could be some possible issues with the flashing check engine light... and I was amazed at the array of issues. From carbon build-up in the cylinders, to mis-firing cylinders, catalytic issues, O2 sensor issues, lose connections in the injectors/wire/plugs, bad plugs, and of course stories about having to remove the heads and .... Now I feel more worried. And I have to take a personal day as I have no way to work tomorrow....

Here's an update with some good .... Boss just called me. He can get me to work, and either get me home, or can catch a ride with the parts driver (my old job). So now I don't have to waste a day not going to work.

Now if I could quit worrying about the car, ease the grief of losing a buddy and a Grandpa, and just chill tonight... that would be great

PeacE

Adjusting Just Fine

I've been in my new position at work now for nearly a month now. Things are going well. I think I have adjusted pretty well to the earlier hours. Enough that at least when I can sleep in, I still wake up around 5am without the alarm. This last week was seemingly long due to the parts driver (my previous position) was out two days, and the other gal I work with also was out two days. But I think I handled things pretty good even have to do more than my job position.

Was out last night to a pub I had not been to in awhile. Found out one of the guys I played softball with many years ago had committed suicide just the other day. He was one heck of a nice guy, and loved his twin boys very much. Still hard to believe he just walked out in the parking lot and put a bullet in his head. I'm a bit baffled by it all. Another friend was saying that there were some depression issues going on, but I had not seen the him for at least a couple years.... so would have had no clue about that.

Another friend of mine has been diagnosed with ALS, and given a remainder of life time of 3-6 months. My buddy Jan flew out last weekend to Illinois to be with Bill, the one with ALS. Together they were going to travel to the Football Hall of Fame in Ohio for a one last road trip together.

Received a phone call Thursday I think it was.... or maybe Friday, morning. Seems my Grandpa is not doing well. Grandma had passed away back in January. Seems he isn't eating and has caught some sort of virus. Doctors say it is similar to the symptoms he had a couple years ago with a bout of pneumonia. Only this time they are not sure if he will be able to fight it off. Without Grandma there, he may just lose the will to continue on.

On the plus side, the Daughter is due in just over three weeks. The Wife is going down to their place for two weeks nearer the due date. Thank goodness I have the Older Son to help get the boys to school. I imagine several days of eating out during those two weeks. Or several Ramen noodle nights....

PeacE

Negligence My Middle Name

I have been bad about blogging. When I was employed, prior, I had time to do it from work. Followed by a time I was unemployed. There was lots of time for me to share  But in the last, let's call it this, three years, it has been few and far between.

Does that bother you? Do you live vicariously through me?One of my best friends would always "spout" that to me, He was about fifteen years older than I, but we shared years of softball, and OTL, and ,....stuff. That was his comment. He passed a couple years ago.

April. That month I am expecting my first grandkid. The Daughter is due around the middle of April. She lives about a 4 hour drive from me, and I am trying to figure out ... everything. The Wife wants to be there for it. So do I... But, I got two kids in school that week, and though the college-aged kid could handle it. with help from my MIL, it is still quite a bit. Sigh.

The foot is almost healed completely. Still have a scab that gets smaller, but have noticed I have some nerve damage. The three toes between the large, and the pinky, experience sharp pains, randomly, throughput a day, and sometimes not felt for a few, then  several episodes. Not debilitating, but enough to notice. A bit more pain than the arthritis gives me.

Grandma's funeral went well, which I traveled back for earlier this month. Was good to see family that I had not seen in a long while, and though Grandpa seemed to be doing better, honestly not sure how long that may last. I am unable financially to do another trip if he were to pass soon, as well. In some ways, it rips my heart. I am the III, my son id the IV, and Grandpa is the Sr. But I have no choice.

Doom, Gloom, and Death have been on my mind more than I want of late. Understandably so.

Peace

Stages

Scotty B, one of my best friends, once said that life is just a stage. Not a period, but a performance stage, and in his reference, he was the star. Everyone else was a secondary role, or less, depending on the type of interaction in his life. I don't know if I understood his meaning back then (a few years ago) or even if I completely understand it now.

I don't think I live my life like the example above. I tend to want to stay out of the spotlight. Not that I am turning down any time to "shine", just that I am more like a cog on the wheel, that just keeps on doing my part in the grand scheme of things.

I'm not sure where I was going with all of that. Stages. I was thinking more about the stages of grief, and depression, or addiction. It seems in recovering from any of these (and possibly other things I can't think of off the top of my head) there are always these "stages" that everyone seems to go through. I don't know what they all are, but I have been experiencing them, and recognizing some of them, as things progress since the passing of my friend Don. At first I was indifferent, then sad, and now I am starting to get into the anger phase. One I am not really wanting to experience, as sometimes, I can't control my temper. And most of that anger I feel, isn't at God, or even at Don, or his death. It's more centered toward certain people, and their actions in regards to the whole of Don's passing. Part of it is not knowing the answers to certain things. Frustration at all of it.

Sigh. Frustrated because I am frustrated. Irritated that I irritated. Angry ... because I feel angry. Seems senseless seeing it typed out that way, but I guess that is what happens when things get skewed and unbalanced.

Tomorrow, what started out as a small gathering of those that knew Don, is taking place. It has been turned into more of a circus (my opinion) thanks to the actions of certain people. Which is where some more of my anger is directed. Even now I still shake my head and say, "Just what the hell were they thinking?" 

Either way, I plan on tomorrow being a good closure to it all for me. Not saying I won't still feel some lose and missing him feelings, just ... closure. I think I need it.

PeacE

After the Party is Over

Edit: This is a canned post. Mostly because it was on my mind, and I wasn't sure when I would have time to post otherwise.

Tuesday 3/5

From the past few posts (days) I've shared that my FIL had been hospitalized, and things were not looking very well on him recovering. Today, the hospice people showed up and got the ball going, to get him transferred from the hospital to their facility. It isn't far, being maybe 3 miles away from the hospital. By noon, he was in the hospice, and I had arrived. Mostly I went to help give support to the Wife, and see if there was any needed errands, etc for me to do. I could have done it by phone, but better to appear in person. Within minutes of me being there, my FIL passed away.

Tears flowed, as expected. Calls made, planning for cremation (his choice) and all those needed things done. The hospice was allowed to have his body at rest there for up to 16 hours, as the family was hoping on the son driving from FL would be able to at least say goodbye to the physical body. I found out later, he would not make it to town in time, as he needed some sleep, having drove over 20 hours to get here. We expect him in late tonight/early morning. MIL has been going strong through it all. This was expected to happen, it was a matter of when. The Wife is there to help with MIL burden the shoulder oft hings to be done, to be sure she eats, support.

Personally I have had a somewhat hard time. Old scars breaking open, as I, too, know what it is to lose a father. My FIL has been a father to me over these past 22+ years, that it is almost like losing my first one all over again. My tough man facade has been dropping to pieces and I feel like I can't control it at times. All part of the grieving process I know. That doesn't help any though, the knowing.

Bill Jones, my FIL, was a good man. HE worked for the American Missionary Fellowship for over 40 years, over-seeing the state of Arizona for almost all of them. Started so many congregations in the smaller towns, that I lost count. He was a man that would drop everything to come help you with a problem, even if he didn't know how to fix it, he would be there if you needed it. He gave so much time to his work for Christ, to his family, to everyone. Bill gave me his daughter's hand in marriage, and we know how much that means to me. Dad will be one that so many will miss by the loss of his physical presence.

For you Dad, heard it within minutes of you passing.... and you are now part of that number.

PeacE

Just a Follow Up

This morning, as I was preparing the two younger boys for school, I called the Wife. She had spent the night at the hospital with family, the Daughter, and the oldest son, in the even that FIL passed away. This morning's update, as of an hour ago, is that he is still hanging on.

The Wife has four older brothers, and two live close enough that they were able to be here yesterday for the family decision. Both were there till with their families when I brought the two younger sons home last night. Another brother is driving in from Florida, since it would be a minimum of 32 hours to get here for a flight (from where he is at I guess). This morning, the last update I heard was he was in Texas somewhere, so he is over halfway total distance, though I am sure he is very tired.

The Wife mentioned on this morning's communique that she felt FIL was holding on, knowing that the one son was driving here as fast as possible to see him before he passes. I blow it off to wishful thinking, but what do I know about death and all? I only feel bad that the other son is not able to make arrangements to be here, all due to things beyond his control at the moment.

So, basically, I feel I am sitting in limbo. I told the Wife if she needed me to call. I am spending the morning here at home. I don't handle hospitals well... some mental carry-over from all the days spent there when my Dad was sick with cancer, and other things. Obviously this has brought up many memories I don't care to re-hash.

Not a great thing, but I wish I had some booze around right now....

PeacE

Losing The Battle

I am taking a moment to talk about my FIL tonight, rather than the morning, as I have no clue as to what/where I will be.

As I mentioned before, my FIL has battked Parkinson's for the past few years. In that struggle, his health has deteriorated, lost his ability to communicate, and all of his mobility. Thursday, after noticing his breathing was more labored and raspy/croupy sounding, we found out he had what they described as mild pneumonia. A prescription antibiotic was given. Friday, his breathing was worse, and he was admitted to one of the local hospitals. Dad's Living Will called for a DNR, and if treatment was needed, it was to be non-invasive. At least, that is how I understand what was told to me. The hospital had to put him on IV's and a BPAP machine to assist in breathing. As of this morning, he had not been asleep for over 24 hours, and the Wife had the impression it may be that he was scared to sleep - of not being able to wake up again.

Either way, we spent the day at the hospital, excluding a side trip for me to pick up the boys from school, and the family made a decision to go with a 'comfort care' program with a hospice. Basically meaning all machines IVs etc would be removed, and if he able to be transported, would go to a hospice facility, where they would administer whatever drugs needed for comfort, and basically, he would be comfortable until he passed. The doctor said that once removed, he did not expect my FIL to last the remainder of the day. It was about two hours ago (from now) that they removed everything, and he was still holding on, though had "relaxed" a bit due to the morphine they gave him. The Wife is there with most of the family, waiting for him to pass pretty much.

Obviously the tears have been flowing from the family, especially the Daughter, Wife and MIL. I am a bit mixed about it all. I have been on edge due to lack of sleeping well (the Wife being gone at night) and trying to get what needs done, done. I have been through the passing of a parent, and understand it is an emotional thing. Today I spent the day trying to support the Wife, being that shoulder for her. In some ways I feel I have been an asshole, my apathy for such things taking over. Maybe it is just my way with dealing with it. I don't know.

Life is going to be shitty for awhile, so don't be surprised if I can't any dumb posts up for you to ignore.

PeacE

Are the Good Time Over?

I lost a friend today.

Sometimes, even at my "young" age of 40, it has been hard this year. I think I have been to the services for several good people, that I would call friends, over the past 12 months. It is hard every time. Today, and later this week, things will not be different, though they will be harder.

I almost want to pontificate about more, but not really in the mood. I am headed out this evening to do some karaoke to remember my buddy; my softball pal, roomie from San Diego OTL; fellow golf player; fellow book fiend; and almost like a Dad. Johnny Cash will be in the house tonight.

Miss you already, Pops.

PeacE

Another One Bites the Dust

I am not pleased this morning. Not only did the dog wake me up an hour and a half early, chewing up some stuff, but I found out another friend has passed away. I think that makes like four over the past year, that I have had to see pass away, in my eyes, before they should have. I know in all instances, health was a factor, and age did not help. I guess I should start finding younger friends, instead of the ones 10+ year solder than me. Then again, at 40, I don't know how possible that would be - to have younger friends.

I think what makes me a bit more upset, at find out out my friend had passed last Friday, is that I had to read about it on a post on Facebook. Granted, my friend's family probably did not know me - or well enough to have my contact info, or know how well we were friends - to just randomly call me from his contact list to inform me about his death. But I don't know. There were enough of our friends to let me know, but no one did. I'm just kind of pissed off about it I guess.

So my Tuesday starts out  a bit bummed. We are taking the daughter's car in to the shop to be looked at today. She says it is "running rougher than normal" and the previous problem of a possible catalytic convertor issue will be looked at. I am hoping maybe just a tune-up rather than that. They were saying it would $800-$1200 if it is the catalytic. Please be something simple and cheap for once!!! Afterwards, I need to do some chores (dishes, run to the bank) all following sitting with FIL so MIL can get some shopping done. This week is pretty clear after that, until Friday when I need to pick up Stuman when he flies back in from Ky.

Tommy, my friend, you will be sorely missed.

PeacE

Dead is Dead

I found out earlier today, that someone I knew had died. His name was Pat. I didn't know him like a best friend; but I had known him for a few years. He was part of 'Our Crew' when I started the Over the Line in San Diego back in '06, and was there still this past summer when I went again after a hiatus. And even those years I wasn't able to go, he was there, plus I saw him here locally at our regular drinking hole.

He died this morning.

People do that, don't they? I mean, he wasn't young and like 20-something. He was old enough to be retired and "working some" or whatever he wanted to do. Hell, in today's economy, that would be saying more...

His name was Pat. I have downed innumerable drinks with the man, and to my disgrace, I never even knew his last name. I never knew his family, wife, or anything else.

I remember, not every time I saw him, but most were the same: have a few drinks together (if at the pub) or at least toast who's house we were at for whatever party. And definitely not leave out the OTL trips in the summer to San Diego - though, those details, well, even *I* don't disclose all.

The word I heard, he was up in Northern AZ, hunting Elk. This morning, he was dropped off where he wanted to be. After a bit of time, he wasn't answering his cellphone, so they got back round to where he was, and found him propped up next to a tree. I heard he was smiling, though he had passed away.

I hope he went that easy. I think everyone hopes that anyone that dies goes easy.

I'm still a bit depressed about it. Pat was one of those people you just instantly love. I have never seen him sad, mad, depressed, or anything negative. And I feel worse, I think, that I didn't know him better than what I did. Pat was still one of those few, that if asked, I would drop everything, give everything, for, if he asked.

And I still didn't know him.

And already, the world is a sadder place without him.

Rest in PeacE

Pat is on the left in this pic from July 2011 at OTL

Spunky is Losing Her Spark

I don't recall offhand if I really ever mentioned anything about our family pet. I guess the word "pet" doesn't really cover it, as she has been a part of our household for 17 years almost - almost as old as my daughter. Her name is Spunky. She has a black fur coat with white belly, and now, quite a bit of gray around her muzzle. She is a mixed breed of Chihuahua and Daschound.

Yeah, I can see you trying to picture this dog. Imagine a chihuahua, then grab its hips and stretch them back about 7-8 inches, and you have Spunky. She is chihuahua in seemingly everything, except body length - fur type, bark, excitability. I remember back when she was around 6 months, and we took her in to be spayed. The Vet explained she had a heart murmur, and that we should not get her excited at all for any reason. Yeah right. A chihuahua NOT getting excited at something? Hell, someone knocks on the door there goes 5 minutes of extensive barking and charging at the entrance!

Anyways, over the past several years, Spunk and I have seen differently. She thinks she is queen bitch, and I think she is just a bitch. We take it out on each other in whatever way we can, she and I. Nothing better than first thing in the morning getting out of bed and stepping into a WARM puddle of dog pee, on the way to the bathroom. Or snapping her jaws at me if I roughhouse with the kids. Well, it's been a while since she has done that one. The Wife and kids love her to death though, and she is always underfoot with the Wife.

Bottom line is, age has finally caught up with her, and last night it really started to show. For months now, the Wife and I had been noticing her sight tended to be getting worse, plus her hearing. Some of her teeth had started falling out, and we had to change her diet a bit from just dry foods. Each time we would be sure the older kids were aware that signs of aging were catching up. Last night Spunky ended up having some sort of seizure, or attack. The Daughter came screaming for me (I actually thought one of the boys had finally killed one of the others). I saw the attack had pretty much subsided and Spunk couldn't move - seemed very disoriented.

I had the Wife get a couple old towels to get under her (in case of bowel/bladder failure) and explained that Spunk was probably dying, and I had no idea how long she would last. That brought on the tear fest. The Wife and daughter won Academy Awards, Emmys, and Golden Globes for their portrayals of grief. The oldest son was a bit misty eyed, the middle son wasn't sure how to react, and the youngest - heck, he kept right on playing with his toys. I made sure the Wife knew to have the kids say goodbye (just in case) before bed, and we would see how Spunk was doing in the morning.

This morning, she is doing better. Back to walking seemingly okay, control of bodily functions, eating good, and just giving me bitchy looks. All most as if she is saying "Fooled you asshole. I ain't going on yet and making you happy." Bitch. The Wife and I decided we would wait the next few days and see if Spunky retains her normal self, or if we need to finally put her to sleep. I would rather do that than see her become some floppy floor mat in front of the kids.

So, once she does finally go, be it sooner or later, people always ask me if I would get another dog to have around the house. I usually say hell no, the kids are getting a pet rock - one for each of them to take care of on their own. But after last night, I don't know. Maybe if we got another dog, it and I would get along. I'll just have to think about it, and see how things go.

So, now we can change the subject from dying family pets, to - OH! It's my sister's 40th Bday!!! What a segue in topics! I have already called her and wished her a good day. Though our convo was filled with many "Huh? What was that? I couldn't hear you..." jokes. And she has hearing aids... If she wore them...

I think that is it for today. It is Hump Day, but I couldn't find any decent pics to place here. Well, I did find some, just too lazy to do it right this instant. Maybe later I will put them up. In the meantime, it is getting close to time for the pub to open, and I think I may go down and have a few.

PeacE