Ugh. Work.

 I'm playing the procrastination card knowingly and openly. I am in no big hurry to do the minutes and Agenda I need to get done. Both are extremely short this time around, but I just don't feel like doing them. I am avoiding them this morning by attending a couple meetings online. This afternoon ... well, I do need a couple things from the store. Maybe I'll do the walk-in rather than the pick-up.

Been having headaches the past few days. Most of it is in the back of the skull area, so I am thinking muscles related. I have done some stretches, but they don't seem to really help. I broke down and took 2 ibuprofen the other say, and the headache has not returned as of yet. 

The paracentesis I had this week did not leak at all. They had sent me home with some bandages, too, that seal around the gauze, but have not had to use them. I was a bit worried considering last week it leaked until Sunday, one drip at a time, but it got fluid out!

Alrighty, I need to go. It is almost time for the first meeting.

PeacE

Hot Diggity Dog!

 What a Happy Friday I am having for a short while! With all the stuff going on with Mayo, and dealing with the edema and continued large drain amounts, even with the TIPS, I have been feeling out in 'Limbo'. There's nothing I can do, but what they tell me, and who knows when I will get reviewed for the list, and then sit in limbo more, but at least towards a goal. I've felt ... indifferent. I'm tired of what feels like a run-around by Mayo, it seems I'm never going to make the list as each time there is "something" that has to be done. Why didn't they schedule it earlier if they knew it was going to be an issue? Frustrating for me, and I was reaching the end of my rope. I was starting to just not care anymore.

Yesterday Mayo called me (oh great). I had labs, nurse consult and doctor consult for Thursday (8th) supposedly to be followed by a case review for the List on the 14th, and they wanted to reschedule things, to the 6th - because they wanted my case to be reviewed on the 7th instead! Proactive! Of course my schedule was open, and we did it. So now I hope within less than a week to find out if I made the list.

Prayer does work!

So I am getting excited again for this to happen, though I know it could be months on the List as well, but at least it is towards a goal, not just working on covering symptoms. My quiet time had a lot of praise and thankfulness in it this morning! Which fit right in with my Bible reading in Psalms! 

Nothing on the calendar really until Tuesday now. I need to get Riders minutes done and the Agenda for the House committee at some point this weekend. 

And with that, I think I'll close up today.

PeacE

Filling the Hole

 I had a Paracentesis yesterday morning. One thing I really like about being the first appointment at 9am, is sometimes, they start early. So yesterday They had me back there and on the bed by 8:30am. I guessed that it would be less than 10L drained - thinking more like 6-7. Ended up draining 9.4 L. Received three bags of albumin, and was out the door by 10:30. I had lunch plans running through my mind, and had already decided what I wanted, so I went to JT's Gyro's and got my usual. By this time RM had texted worried about me, and asking if I was okay. I got home and let her know I just got home and would post an update soon. Turns out, the Life360 app we use did not record me leaving or going to my appointment, etc. so she had no idea if I made it, or overslept and was concerned. After checking my phone, I realized it was because Mobile data was turned off.

I weighed in prior to going to the hospital in the morning. Came in at 296 lbs. Ugh! Well after draining, and I got home, I weighed in at 276 lbs. Better, but not my actual weight just yet. The Edema in my legs and such is probably another 20 lbs. and that would drop me to near 250, which I can deal with. Nothing exciting happened at the appointment or with lunch. I ate it, and it was good.

This morning I have done my bio readings, took my meds, drank my vanilla protein shake, and am ready to get things started. I think I am going to skip the AA meeting today (maybe) and just go to the Transplant one. Depends on how I feel. Last evening, my head started hurting like I had slipped on ice and cracked the back of my head. I hadn't fallen or bumped my head in anyway, so was confused about it. I even probed with my fingers, expecting to feel a bump. Nope. Just a headache that is sitting in the back of the head. Generally I cannot take anything for situations like this. Acetaminophen is not good for the liver, and neither is Ibuprofen, but it is the better of the two. I do have a bottle here that I save for extreme pain, regardless what the doctors say. I had 2 pills last night, and this morning I still feel some residual pain. Muscle related? Too Tense? I did some stretches of the upper back and shoulders this morning, so let's see if that helps.

The first half of  the year property taxes are due starting today. I see it has gone up 3.7% (about $40) from last year. Since the house has been free and clear for many years, we have to pay it, as we don't have an escrow account. I could pay to set one up, but I don't think it is worth it. Also have the Wife's registration due. Two years for her car is more than 1.2 year's taxes, for now.

I think that is all I got to say about that.

PeacE

Nothing Major

 Today I go in again for a paracentesis at 9am. There probably won't be any follow up post today, as I am usually worn out afterwards.

The edema in my legs seems to be slowly to lessen. It's hard to tell. I weighed in this morning at 292 lbs. and even if they get 10L drained, that is only 20 lbs. plus I would still have the weight from the fluid in my legs. I still estimate myself to be a true weight of around 250, which means my eating habits are holding pretty good, and I am not putting on a bunch of unneeded weight.

RM, not sure if there will be a tidbit today. May have to wait until closer to noon or tomorrow.

PeacE

Getting Back Into the Groove

 I wonder how many times that was said by deep-voiced men being the DJ on late-night radio back when they played LPs.

My prayer time went 'over' this morning. Not sure why, or how. Figured God needed my attention longer, and held me there. I ain't complaining. There an HR for God? Anyway, I had several things pop up on my mind today that I felt compelled to talk to God about, not necessarily me, but some stuff. I know he heard me, as I felt a bit lighter in step afterwards. I had also started my prayer journal this last week, and I am surprised by how it has grown in just a short while. But I go through it every morning.

I have been feeling a bit better health-wise. I'm giving nods of thanks to all those involved, but I wonder if it the milk. As a kid, I loved milk, but it had to be Vitamin D. None of that skim, 2% or at times, straight from the cow. As I reached adulthood, the amounts of it I drank decreased. Moreso when I started drinking alcohol. Don't mix those two up! Needless to say, over this last year I have tried to drink more milk. I just cannot seem to get into the habit of having a glass a day. My last doctor visit at Mayo he had mentioned it would be good for me to get a on protein shake daily routine, with high protein. I've looked (online) at several products from Amazon, Wal-Fart, Walgreens, etc. but either it was rather expensive, or bad reviews saying it tasted terrible, or just had a low protein amount in it. Last Friday, RM had sent me home with a partial bag (resealable) of vanilla protein shake mix from a certain brand their doctor recommended for them. I started drinking it using milk instead of water (yuck) mixed in, and it is great tasting! Also a way for me to drink some milk daily! I still need to price this brand out, but it is looking good!

I said I felt my health was better, and it is somewhat. Today, my legs weren't as swollen this morning with Edema. My abdomen area looks more like it used to when all I did was paras (no Edema on the sides). My joints aren't as painful today (at this time). I am still going to the para tomorrow. The doctor is the next week, then soon after I hear about making the list or not.

I've debated about telling people what is going on with my medical and all. I have kept updated some family members (uncles, etc.) a couple really close friends, and of course, more immediate family. There are several people that know I am going through the process for the transplant, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything to them (AA group, etc.). When I make the List (positive thinking) I thought about just letting everyone know that I am on a List waiting. I know some that would like to know, and others that wouldn't care. At the same time I don't want to be a drama queen.

I think I just decided on that. No sharing. If someone asks, share. Don't ask, don't share.

And with that life-saving decision, I am moving on into the day.

PeacE

Catching Up On My Boring Life ...

 Welp, it looks like I left off on Friday. Nothing was on the calendar that day, so I presume I just played games and attended my AA meeting. Oh! Wait! Now I remember! I went out to RM's to visit that morning, even though PT was going to be home. I also was to pick up an older computer, and a new camera that they had never used (USB for the computer). It was a decent morning. I did get asked by PT about why he and I don't get together for breakfast/lunch like we used to (several years ago). I reminded him it was when I asked him to give up his keys and quit driving (which he still hasn't). I would not ride with him, and I started not doing the meals because I did not want him driving and possibly hurting others. Then a job came, and I didn't have the time. He seemed pacified with the answer, and that is all he will get from me.

RM (as usual) ended up sending me home with a big bag of things: Vanilla Milkshake flavored protein shake mix (which is quite good), some no-bake breakfast bars with White chocolate Macadamian nut, some brown ones too - for Del -, 2 bags of regular colored peppers, a single use protein drink, and I know there was more, but can't remember it all. RM loves to give! We really liked the breakfast bars, and I started taking the protein drink each morning and it tastes good. I'll have to buy this brand, too. A bag of apples, too!

One of the reasons I had went out to the Westside was to go see to one of our Riders. He'd been in the hospital/rehab for several weeks, and I had a signed card for him. After personal debate, and ideas from RM, I decided to just mail the card (which I did). The walking and all would have been brutal for me, let alone having to visit. 

Near lunch I decided it was time to go. I headed to Peoria Discount by myself and hungry. I usually just buy a few snackies for myself and Youngest, and maybe the Wife if I find something I know she likes. Found a couple nice meat specials, and some drink stuff: Ginger Ale and Cranberry (I like it) Tropical Sprite, Lymonade Sprite and several different mixes of Ocean Spray Cranberry juice mixes. My favorite is the blueberry. Spent about $75 more than I meant to, but it will get used.

Home and unloaded, separated snacks out, and the rest of the evening was a normal one. Sunday I didn't do much of anything. We had a late lunch of El Pollo Loco and that burrito I like filled me up so much, I skipped dinner. This week is pretty skimpy, too. Today is the Daughter's birthday. I have a business meeting at 1pm for my AA group (member vote). Property taxes are due 10/1 and I have until 10/15 to pay the Wife's registration) no emissions required). That's all on the calendar.

So, knowing you ain't going to have any quality this week... I'll let you go... Here's a song I like.

PeacE

This is A Long Drain ....

 I left the house yesterday around 10:30a. I figured I would not be back home until about 3:30p-4p. I had been thinking about getting a haircut, but even with "check-in" at the walk-in places made guessing a time frame difficult. I needed to be at the hospital by noon. Well, I have my account with Great Clips, and I signed in, my location showed a wait time of 0 minutes. So I checked-in, and headed that way. I know my haircut will only take about 20-30 minutes, so I rolled the dice. When I got there, there were three names on the list now, though mine was first, and no one waiting. I got called back before I could sit down. So goal one accomplished.

It's about 11a, I still have an hour until I need to be at the hospital, but I don't feel like going all the way home and back when I am halfway to the next location. So I headed to the hospital early. When I got to the radiology waiting area where they usually check me in, the gal was surprised to see me. But it worked out. I guess there was a cancellation, so they could take me earlier, which they did by about 40 minutes. I ended up draining 11.8L (about 22 lbs.) and felt much better on one front. The edema along the sides of the abdomen had the tech using a same diameter catheter, but longer. The abdomen wall is swollen to at least 5cm from what he told me. Mostly from the edema.

I then went over to CARS and got my four bottles of albumin IV'ed into me. I was hungry, since I usually fast until after the procedure. Even though I got done early, I was ravenous. I ended up at JT's Gyro's (35th Ave 7 Greenway) and got a meal of the beef pita shwarma. Comes with fries, drink, and like most of their meals this little cup of soup. I have not been able to figure out what type of soup it is (Greek chicken and noodles?) but it is sooooo tasty! Went on home and weighed my "dry" weight (295 lbs.) and ate that meal!

I noticed about then, the bandage they had used had leaked (again) just like last week. So I had the wetness down one side of my crotch about 4 inches wide. Last time, this slow drip from the catheter hole had stopped in the evening, and I figured this time would be the same. Nope. It is still going this morning. We decided to let it leak, get some of the extra fluid out, as long as no signs of infection or anything. I have no way of calculating how much is drained, but I'll take relief in very small doses if I have to do so. 

As usual I a tired from the procedure, and I see a nap in my future. Two meetings today, then a nap... could be a good day after all.

PeacE

Oh, Thankful That Today Is the Day!

 Paracentesis. One would think that having this done close to once a week since January that I would be used to it; numb to the needles. It sure doesn't work that way. Today I have one at 1pm (thankfully). Between the edema and the ascites build up, I am really distended (the Wife says I am having triplets) and though it is not 'painful' the discomfort level is pretty high. My breathing has been short pants for the past few days as well, making the Wife worry. I believe it to be from all the pressure pushing up against my diaphragm, and will go away once I am drained. She's worried there is fluid in my chest cavity and I will need to get a thoracentesis. As if she were the one getting it... those hurt so much, and I always pass out.

So I have a few hours until I need to be there. I'll go through my morning routine, then I am thinking about getting a haircut. Afterwards, I may head to the hospital just a little early, and play games on the tablet. I like being early with them, just in case they are ready early. It has happened!

I started 'The Circle Maker' yesterday morning, and it may not have gotten me as excited as RM just in the first chapter, but I am still working on it. I think today I stopped at chapter 3. I'm hoping it gets to the 'nitty-gritty' soon, else I may have to  put it aside until a later date to re-read and then it will impact better. But for now, i still read several pages a day.

I finished Job today. I did learn a bit about God while reading it. Learned about how some friends don't have your interests at heart when talking to you seriously about said things. Of course this book had a happy ending...read it to find out what it was. So now I need to figure where I am reading next. Psalms is the next book, and I am looking forward to reading it at some time, so I may go ahead and start it. I feel this may a book a read over many times.

I heard from Data Doctors yesterday. I don't think they can figure out what I did either. I had two options (technically three, but I didn't really want to buy a brand new hard drive). Well, I took one option, and not because it was the cheapest. They are going to backup what is salvageable from the drive, wipe it, reload Win 11, and then the recovered files. It will take another 2-3 days, so I'm still without that computer until the weekend. I started to make a list last night about possibly what other programs I had on there that I will need to reload. The games I am not so worried about, as through the Steam set-up, I am able to re-install any in my library. I am more worried about my Calibre folder (holds all my ebooks) and the Torrents file (holds d/ls and u/ls for books). I am sure there are two or three others as well, I just cannot remember them. So until Friday, I am not worrying about it.

And with that, I'll mosey on down the road this morning....

PeacE

Let's Give Them Something To Talk About....

 Have you been the grape on the vine that people talk about? The rumors don't come to you, you are the rumor. Personally, I try to avoid the gossip mill, and where possible, change the direction of conversation, or walk away. I've kind of been a 'straight from the horse's mouth' when it comes to people spreading their stories. Lately, I have become that fat grape hanging on the vine, that people are talking about. Not everyone, but enough anyways.

Last night was the VFW Riders meeting. But I was there early (as usual) to "get into the mindset" and have a tea. I'm sitting at the bar in the Canteen, playing some game on my tablet to pass the time. There are about 5-6 others in there that I have good relationships with. Anyways, I dropped the stylus to my tablet. It landed on the footwell in front of me. Before I could even get my butt off the chair, Four of the guys are walking over saying 'I got ya Ralph' or 'Need help getting that?' or just coming over to help. I got angry. There wasn't time to cool this one down. I basically raised my voice and hollared 'I ain't dead yet, ya dumbasses. I can pick up a pen that is right in front of me. It's not like I'm so invalid I cannot do anything for myself'.' I bent over and picked it up. I continued, 'It's a damn transplant, not a march to my death!' Now these guys are Vets, and of course this outburst doesn't faze them. One guy did respond back something along the lines of 'but we want you around here longer.' Boy, if he only knew what he'd be asking for!

As the evening wore on, I felt bad, then stupid, then knowing I was wrong to have snapped at them like that, I went to apologize. I caught two of them that hadn't left, and they were like "pfft, wasn't nothing'. But I made amends, pretty quickly, after knowing I was wrong in my actions. I'm sure by next Tuesday there will be something going around about how I bit the heads off everyone for no reason, or some wrong answer. Sigh. Rumor mills.

RM's favorite phrase from me: I am bored. There's nothing to do. That's how I have been feeling since Saturday. Without my main desktop, I cannot play video games, picture is smaller, I don't mistype as much, as well as having the externals hooked up (speakers, camera, etc.) that using this laptop is frustrating. I did get it up to Data Doctors yesterday morning, but I know they won't even look at it until today. So I am hoping for a phone call that says it is fixed, and didn't cost more than what I already paid. Yes, I admit, it is one of my prayer items this morning. 

But I am happy that I do have a laptop available. I managed to hook the sound system to it, the camera, a working external drive (tried to play s games from it, but it reads too slow). I am able to do things easier than just from the phone. And I can stream movies/shows. So I have been catching up on some series, as the next season will be dropping soon, or just to see if I like them. My movie list has gone down quite a number as well, though it seems most of these movie are not to my liking, and I don't finish them. Trailers do a good job of making a movie look really good sometimes.

And with that, I am out of here.

PeacE

I Broked It

 Saturday, I got back to trying to get these new external drives to cooperate with my computer. Late in the morning, I did something, I have no idea what, that now my computer will boot up to BIOS, and no matter any changes, when restarted, back to BIOS. I walked into the bedroom wiping my heads like a was done - and I was. I told the Wife I am going to take it in to Data Doctors on Monday. Let's see them hopefully get my regular computer back to working, and maybe format a couple of these external drives. Need the second one for my laptop to back-up my VFW stuff.

A couple days without the computer. Easy Peasey. I whipped out the laptop, so I do have limited access. Finished up the meeting agenda for tonight's Riders meeting. I was able to take care of a few other needed things as well. I don't know if I will have time, but going to try to get the camera (from the regular computer) on the laptop, as it gives a better picture. I have a Zoom call with the Psych Doc today. I also skipped my meetings this weekend. I don't know what it is, but I just do not like the camera on the laptop. I did take the sound system from the regular computer and got it on the Laptop, so at least I could watch a movie and hear things.

So, here's to hoping they are able to fix it all today. I am getting a little antsy to play my video game. In fact, tried to put it on the laptop, but not enough space - go figure. Posting will lbe skimpy, but know I am okay.

PeacE

Caveat Emptor

 Wow! Who knew that I could know Latin - or even spell it! Today's title reads "Buyer Beware" and I have heard this a lot over the years, especially when working real estate. It makes sense. Buyers should verify their purchase is up to their standards, whether they make any compromises or not. And once again, I have dove headfirst into this rabbit hole...

Several years ago I had purchased an external hard drive for my computer. It was only 1Tb, but to the common man (read noon-geek/nerd) this was a lot of space! Additionally, I got it for sale at CostCo. It is still working today, and has lasted through two other computers. Well, it has reached it's capacity (I won't say anything but, who wants to save 500 million pictures of sunsets and flowers? I know someone...). Being the day and age we are in, I started looking for like a 2Tb, maybe 4Tb external drive, This would be used 'in addition to' the one I have hooked up already.

Computer sites were very pricey. Amazon was not much cheaper. So let's go to the cheapest ... Temu. I found a nice 4Tb for a very low price, and bought it. After a couple weeks it finally showed up and I hooked it up to the computer. Plug 'n play seemed to work as the computer found the drive. I started transferring over the next few days some files of the main drive, that I had been holding for more space. After a couple weeks, I happened to check the folder of somethings I had moved. The folder was empty. All the folders were empty. And now, I couldn't move/copy anything to that drive. I need that space from somewhere to make room. At Temu I found another 4Tb. Cha-Ching! The next day, I found another 4Tb for a few dollars even lower ...yes, I bought it. I had purchased a few other smaller things as well.

Yesterday was payday at my front door. Both external drives showed up. Went to plug it in - no plug n play. I pulled out the 28 page booklet that had 1 page of English, stating it needed to be formatted before use. Okay, I have done that before...on like 286's, with an internal drive, shouldn't be hard. I even looked up instructions for Win 11 to be sure I did it right. I can get the computer to recognize that there is a drive there, but it won't format or partition it. Keeps popping up some Windows error. I try looking up the error, and it circles me back around to the beginning again. I found a free program that will do all this for you, so I d/l'ed it and it started to work, but again, could not format/partition. I'm getting frustrated. I unhook that one, hook the other new one up. Same exact problem. After three hours of messing with it all, I knew I needed to step back, calm down, and go surfing the web for maybe some other information that could help.

I did go to lunch with my AA Home Group at Chili's. There ended up being about 10 of us, three whom I had not met yet in person. I had 2 side salads (the regular ones looked yucky) and though I shouldn't I did get a piece of the peanut butter pie. It was good! We had a good time laughing and joking around, plus sharing some details we may not want to share in actual group. I was asked quite a bit about my whole liver thing, which I downplayed and said I am just waiting for the week after 10/8 to see if I made the list (which is true). It was after lunch I did the computer thing.

I finished out the evening playing my video game, and putting off the agenda I need to write up for Monday's meeting. It will get done sometime this weekend. It's for the Riders, so I am thinking there is not much to put on there, as we are almost in limbo for now.

And to that, I bid Adieu (Wow! I do French, too!) to you all. I am sure I will be frustrated today as I try to work on this computer issue. The things to look forward to doing...

PeacE

Some Conversation at Last!

 I gave up and took one of my sleeping pills the other night. Needless to say, they work well. I was out until about 11:30a yesterday, woke feeling well-rested. I also woke feeling sort of groggy (side effect of the pill). Thinking I'm good and at the 'full' line for rest, went to bed last night at a decent hour. Then it was like being on the sea - I tossed and turned it seemed most of the night. It didn't help that inher sleep, the Wife kneed my in the stomach a couple times - that hurt! I know it isn't her fault (maybe?) but it is what it is. And now I am up at 5am.

Mayo contacted me yesterday? Maybe the afternoon before, via message in the portal. The nurse said they had gotten my labs in, and based on those results the doctor (which one?) did not want to change any of my medications at this time. She did ask how the swelling from the edema was, so I wrote back that it has barely receded, I'm distended. I do not have a paracentesis scheduled until next week, but at this time, I am not in pain from the pressure, just uncomfortable - but that could be the edema on the sides of my abdomen area, too. The nurse did apologize (in words) about the state of the edema, and how I was feeling, following up with see you in a few weeks (10/8 appointment). Sigh. It gets closer day by day. Monday I have a Zoom appointment with the team psychologist, which usually lasts about 15 minutes. Then it is sitting on my hands until the 8th.

In the past year, I know I have made the comment, or at least thought it, that my life is like Job's. He was the one that God allowed Satan to do whatever to, except touch him, to show Job's unwavering devotion to God. Job last everything: I think it was 7 sons, and 3 daughters; extensive herds of goats and livestock, hi home, his financial standing, and my comparison, his health. I picked this book to read daily because I felt that comparison, which with just the above information, doesn't really match at all. I'm only on chapter 10, where Job is very ill and is speaking with his two friends that came to him, so I am sure I will know more of " the rest of the story" over the next few weeks.

I'm working on a book titled 'Drop the Rock' which is an AA aid for steps 6 & 7. I am just short of halfway, and already have picked up some usual information. I have then next book as well, that helps with Step 10, but before I get to that one, I will start "The Circle Maker" that RM gave me for my birthday. I am anxious to start it, but trying to keep the discipline of finishing a book before I start another. My reading has decreased astronomically compared to last year, that if I pick a book up, I will now finish it before starting another, because it takes me longer to get through them. I have one last journal book I like that I saving for that book.

Had a nice visit with the Middle and GSon the other morning. Doc, the GSon, is getting better about being around bearded people I guess, as he did give smiles to me, let me pat his back and even got a high-five, but there is still no way he was letting me hold him. Soon Papaw, soon.

Today I actually have plans! With Adults! My AA Homegroup is meeting for lunch. This is the group's designated quarterly lunch they get together for through the year. I went to a non-sanctioned one (special invite) and met several of the regulars a few short months ago, and had a great time. Today, we are meeting at the Chili's about a mile from my house - talk about convenient!! So, yeah, I'm there. I'll have to look at the menu before I go to figure out what I'll have, since eating and me are in the ring again. Hopefully they will have a salad I like. Plus, I get conversation! I spend most of my days at home when I have no appointments or errands. Mainly because was asked by Mayo to not drive due to the encephalopathy. So I have slowly relinquished my keys. Youngest takes me, or on off days, and special appointments, the Wife does. Big change from me being the one driving all the time (which the Wife prefers). But being home all day doesn't allow for a lot of conversation. Sure we talk a little before and after group meetings, but that is like 20 minutes at most. So no conversation per se. I admit, I could probably find and meet people on Discord, but not sure if I really want to - it's a whole catch-22. But I'll get an hour plus of adult conversation today. 

And I suppose I should tie this up and get it posted.

PeacE

Early to bed, Early to rise ... oh, Snap!

 Having not slept so good the past few nights, I decided I was going to go to bed early last night versus popping a pill to force myself out. I think it was about 9:30-10 when I shut my eyes. And opened them at 6am. Ugh. I did get a couple extra hours sleep, and I do feel more rested this morning. I just would like things to get back on a more even keel. I blame the whole liver thing for this, and other problems.

I feel okay today. Aside from the edema related effects/pains, I am not noticing anything else wrong. They could be covering up something, but I don't want to start playing the guessing game. I just need to get this edema down.

Yesterday in my regular AA group, we found out one of the regular members had passed away on Sunday. She wasn't local, and Zoom called in from Eastern Oregon. I have seen her many times at different meetings, and she had several years of sobriety, knowledge, and faith in God. I did not know her well, as we didn't talk one on one. There was about half the women in the group that had been sponsored through this lady, or reached out to her for help, so they were extremely upset. And even some of the older guys that have been around for years were crying some. Whatever topic we had was not happening, and the hour was spent remembering this lady. Near the end, Dave (who was hosting) called on me. He said he was interested in how we, as a group and individually, handle the grief of this situation, as he too, knew her a long while and was having issues.

I immediately said I was not a counselor nor a therapist, or even qualified to give "medical" advice on the subject, but here are my thoughts. And as I took my allotted 3 minutes, there was some head nodding, so I was getting through to some people. As the timer went off, and I muted myself, Dave spoke up saying to the group that this was actually some good advice, and if anyone wanted to follow it, feel free. Then there was the usual "reach out" if you need to especially if you feel like drinking. As the day went on, this kept popping back in my mind was did I give good advice? I kind of just blanked my mind and let words come out my mouth. They sure sounded right for a was to deal with grief. And we know everyone deals with it differently.

I've been snacking well since Saturday! The several pickle-flavored snacks RM gave me for my birthday have been being tested and enjoyed! The spicy Chex mix was soooo good, I need to find more of it. It's gone. The Dill Slim Jims are still here and are really good. Trail mix....I couldn't taste and dill/pickle to it, but it is trail mix so always good. I think I still have half a container. I can't eat the suspenders...and I can't remember off the top of my head if there was one other food item. But I do like all of them. Restraint has been difficult. Thanks RM!

And with that, I am closing out. Middle Son just got here with Doc (the token grandson) and I wan to visit a little before he heads home.

PeacE

Should Have Taken The Pill

 Another tired morning. I didn't get my nap in yesterday, so thought I would sleep well last night. But I ended up awake at 1:30a still, and knew it was too late to take a sleeping pill, as I would be groggy all of today if I did. So slept in until just after 8am. Of course, that messes with my "routine" and I am just winging it this morning.

... and I still have nothing of mind to write about today. So, until tomorrow...

PeacE

Short and ... *snore*

 I'm tired this morning. Due to a family matter, I woke multiple times during the night, in which I prayed regarding the matter. All said, I was in bed for about 4 hours. Deep sleep? Not even close. And as I look now, I see I let my smart ring go dead, so no sleep chart it puts out. Sigh.

The Wife is off work today. She has a medical video call this morning, then has to fast until early afternoon when she goes in for an MRI, and a mammogram. I asked if she would like me along and though she hmm-hawed, she said no. All I would do is sit in the waiting room. But I brought up the possible need for a driver, and she said it shouldn't be required.

I'll be piddling around my computer I guess today.

... and taking a nap.

PeacE

Mom's Are the Best

 Yes, even though I am a Father, Mom's are still better. Especially my Mom. Yesterday she had texted and asked about swinging by to drop off some presents she had gotten for my birthday. I was just playing video games so said sure, and shortly she arrived. The Wife and Youngest greeted her as well. I got a nice bag of little snackies: Chex mix extra spicy dill flavored (I opened this one, and it is good), some dill pickle flavored smaller Slim Jims, a nice sized cannister of dill pickle trail mix (haven't tried it yet) and a new set of suspenders that are black with the American Flag on each strap. I had been thinking recently of getting a second pair of suspenders, so this came at a good time. Lastly, and as I waited for her to arrive I wondered if she would, there was book. This one is "The Circle Maker" and is one of her best reading  recommendations. I'm a bit excited to start it, but would like to finish the one I am on, so I don't get mixed up in my head. I used to able to multi-task reading several books, but cannot at this time with the encephalopathy.

Mom has always enjoyed the fact that I am a big reader, I believe. I recall a few of my school-age years where she had bought books at Christmas for me, and that went on into my early twenties. Then I told her to stop. She was doing the best she could in a genre that is predictable and in my mind, overly repetitive of morals and ethics and Christian philosophy. In short, I was not enjoying them, and I was tired of the whole churchy-vibe I got when reading them. I asked for gift cards or money so that I could pick out what I wanted to read. But she did introduce me to C.S. Lewis ("Narnia Chronicles" and a space trilogy I can't remember the name of right this second).

RM has blogged about some indecision with a want and desire to lead a group. She wants to teach what she knows to others. I know with PT's particulars, it makes it difficult (another story). But she has been teaching me for the past few weeks. As I've re-committed my Life, I get to spots where I am not sure what to do. It doesn't have to be like a cult rite, but some guidance (aside from prayer) or suggestion that truly has helped me. When it came to prayer, all I knew was you thank God, You praise God, you ask of God (healing/prayer lists) and that was it. All she gave me was a, I think she said yesterday, 40-year old prayer wheel chart. Believe it or not, it was not a list of orders of structure, but a circle chart. You could start anywhere, but it covered things prayer covers (if that makes sense). It helped me determine how I want to pray. I think I even told her yesterday it helped so much.

Let's not get started yet on the 'just because' things she does, or being willing to drop everything and come help if I ever needed and asked. Our lunches. Our visits together (with or without PT being there). The cookies and home-made pickles...mmmmm. Christmas is coming!

I find little things about me that are similarities of Mom's (keep guessing) and I know it is because she has been a wonderful example of a person these past many years. She's always been there for advice, experience lessons (if she has info to share) and teaching the Bible. I know I fall back on her quite a bit lately, to help me get that first step onto a path that I am not sure what to do. Just that little guidance is beyond words to me (dang it ... allergies are back).

And that is just some of the reasons my Mom is the best.

Go call your Mom (if you can) and tell them you love her.

This message is not paid by Hallmark nor any other Mother's Day card makers.

PeacE

No New Content Here

 I really don't have hardly anything to write about today. I went to the Post for the flag raising, got there like 9:05a and everyone was walking in. Seems I missed it. I had even checked my notes in the morning to be sure of the time, and I had 10a. So I missed it.

Hung out there for a while before heading to get my labs done. Then down the road to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. I was hungry, and it was noonish, I was limited on my choices of food places without having to drive further, so settled for Julioberto's and got a carne asada burrito (and a Patron for Youngest). It was a good choice! When the Wife got home, I still wasn't hungry, so we did a "create your own adventure", and I skipped supper entirely. 

And just like that I am out of anything to write about.

PeacE

Feeling Better Again

 Yesterday, I woke early and felt it. I was extremely tired still, though I had had enough sleep the night before. I could feel the minute changes from having been drained the day before (10.2L) and though it had only been one day, the affect of the medication change from Tuesday. But I just felt 'Blech' as Charlie Brown would say. I held a board meeting of my my sleepy body, and the consensus was to sleep more. So I did. I ended up grabbing a couple more hours of sleep before rising for the day, felling just a smidgen better.

Today is a day of Remembrance for the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers. I got out my VFW Aux shirt several of us had bought months ago for this occasion. There is a flag raising ceremony at the Post this morning at 10a I am going to try to make it to. Afterwards, I need to head up to Banner Hosp. area to SQL to have some labs drawn (per Mayo's orders). There is a pot luck back at the Post this evening about 6p, but am unsure if I will make it back for that.

I was just checking my calendar. After labs today, I have no medical appointments (as of right now) until 9/21 with a Zoom call. Nice. Of course, life still moves on and I have my VFW stuff, my AA meetings, etc. 

... and it seems even I can run out of things to talk about ...

PeacE

Day at the Mayo

 Sounds artsy-fartsy, huh? Like, 'A Day at the Louvre', except it wasn't. Got through my appointments yesterday and had some positive changes and news. My MELD score went to 18 (worsening). They did increase my diuretics back up a little to fight this edema. They also stated that my case will be reviewed in one month, after a similar of appointments!!! We are close!

Today I have a draining at 1pm. Due to my size with all the fluid retention, I have no clue how much they will drain. I am thinking10L and some ... but really can't guess. Just get some of this pressure off!!!

I am totally distracted by my medical stuff right now, this will be short today....

PeacE

It Was A Day ...

 Turning 55 years of age is not a huge mile marker like 30, or 50, and so on. I truly was not expecting any big shin-dig, or some major surprise party (thankfully! I hate those). I pretty much did nothing all day. The birthday posts on social media started coming in. a few family/friends via text. One call from the Daughter and the Granddaughters to sing Happy Birthday to me. One call from my best friend back in Michigan - though I didn't answer it. I was in the process of going to bed (8:30pm? Yeah, I'm over 50). Think about then there was probably around 60-70 posts from HS friends, to current friends, and so many others! I did reply personally to many of them yesterday, but will be doing the final ones this morning. I heard from the Middle Son via text. Never heard from the Oldest Son, and the Youngest, though living at home, never said anything either. Oh well.

Today is Labor Day, and I have nothing planned. The Wife has to work. The Youngest has a friend in town from out of state, so no idea what their plans may be. I'll probably do my Homegroup meeting, then play games the rest of the day - no I won't. I didn't do the minutes yesterday...oops! I just pulled out the laptop so I can start on them next.

The Wife and I were discussing my medical last night. I need to be sure to bring up the edema in my legs. It is worse than when I started a year ago. My legs are so sensitive to touch, yet itch all the time. The swelling is bad, too. Look like two large lumps of meat. Compression socks seem to help a little, but I don't see much difference. I think they should increase my diuretics, but I am not a doctor.

Welp, got other things to get done (minutes) so will end this today.

PeacE