I'm Drawing A Blank ...

 My head is pretty empty this morning. I went through the morning routine, well, up to this point anyways. Did my vitals, did my meds, checked the ol' email box. Placed an order for pickup this afternoon for tonight. Aside from the Dinner tonight, I have nothing on my calendar for today.

Riders Dinner tonight. This will be our last monthly one, and we will move to Quarterly with the next being in October. We will bring back the Soup Night that has gone over well the last couple times we have done it. I am picking up some Southern style Potato salad, plus I already got the buns and BBQ sauces. 

Okay, I'm going to gripe a bit. I enjoy being a part of the VFW Riders (even though I do not personally ride a motorcycle). I have not minded (overly) being the Secretary for the past couple years (a thankless job no one wants), but I am getting kind of fed up and tired of the Chapter. No one attends meetings except about 7-8 of us; the same group that are getting burned out doing the dinners. Trying to put some kind of ride together is next to impossible. If we were to just tell the members 'this is what we're doing' they would follow like sheep, but to create something on their own, or even in a meeting - impossible it seems. Plus the changes coming down the line. Late July there is to be a vote that will brings the Riders into the group as a 'Sister' organization to the VFW and Auxiliary, rather than just a 'committee under the Post'. Which will be a Treasurer's and Secretary's nightmare of paperwork. From setting up bank accounts, EINs, 501(c), bond requirements, and on and on. There are some good aspects coming out of the deal though also. Officer positions are able to be held by non-Post members (like Aux) and they want to bring in a unified patch. Right ow we have a patch for the Post members, and a separate one for the Aux members. Anyway, enough on that for now ... I'm starting to get heated up. Save that rant for another time.

Welp, I have taken a bathroom break, and sat here for a bit pondering where to lead this train-wreck, and am not coming up with anything. Catch you on the Flipped Side!

PeacE

It's A Brand New Day ...

 Today starts a fresh round of Life. Well, at least that is how I am looking at it. I may share too much on here at times, but when it comes to my liver transplant, maybe someone else going through similar will take inspiration from my words - as if I had any readers.

Tuesday I met with the IR for a consult at Mayo. This was specifically to go over the TIPS procedure, the pros/cons of it. After discussion with the IR doctor, and a few questions, I opted to do the procedure. The Wife and I had talked about this back in November, to look at as possible assistance. Basically, it is a bypass to take the pressure of backed up blood flow that the liver cannot handle and redirect it. It is supposed to reduce, if not eliminate, the build-up of the ascites in the abdomen. In my support groups, I have heard some guys say it greatly decreased the number of times they had to do paracentesis and others said they didn't have to do any at all while they waited for their transplant. I'm not aiming high but I would truly like being able to not do a para every week. If I could get it to once a month or longer, it would be much easier to deal with. Either way, the TIPS stays in until the transplant. I have a CT of the Abdomen, then a couple days later the procedure. Oh, and finally scheduled the colonoscopy for late August (like you wanted to know that crap - see what I did there). Oh! And they drained 10L plus said there was still some fluid in there. Sigh.

Brand new day. Brand new start. It's Day One. I smoked the last cigarette I had last night. No longer are there any here at home, or in my car. All I need to do is not buy them. Today I have nothing on my calendar and told the Wife I was not going ANYWHERE today, to reduce the want to stop and get more. She says she has a couple prescriptions to be picked up. Sigh. I probably have yet another one to get as well. But I can use the drive-thru pick up versus going inside. Even if I went inside, I usually pay at the pharmacy, so do not even have to go to the front counter (and see cigarettes).

Friday is our last VFW Riders dinner for awhile. We voted to go quarterly now, as the same 6 or so people were the ones doing it all, all the time. We are getting burned out. So it will be shredded chicken or pork sandwich, Cole slaw, and I am thinking of getting a couple tubs of southern style potato salad. 

Last night as the Wife and I lay in bed doing our phone/tablet or whatevers, I turned to her and asked, I'm supposed to tell you if I am feeling things (in regards to medical especially). She said of course, so I did. I felt ... off. I know when I have a para done, that for a couple days at least I do go through an adjustment: organs adjusting to where they should be, feeling some fatigue and other tiredness, even sometimes a lack of desire to do anything that involves moving around. But this was different. It started early evening, and went through at least until I fell asleep. Still not sure what it was, but at least she knew about it in case something worse happened. I have got to get better at communicating when I do not feel right, or well. This morning I was up at 5:10a and as far as I can tell, feel normal. Whatever I felt last night is gone. I was going to be a bit worried if it persisted through a sleep cycle. 

Alrighty then. I think I over-shared too much today. Oh well. May it live forever on in the internet universe.

PeacE

Gonna Make 'Em Wait ....

 I know RM is probably waiting to hear how my IR consult went yesterday morning. Well, I will tell you, but not until later this afternoon. I have a paracentesis today at 1pm, and am just going to include all the information into one text versus spawning many more.

That being said, I have nothing of value to add for today. I'm off to read a little from this new book I bought.

Oh. And here is a song for y'all ...

PeacE

Short Stuff Today ...

 Today is Day One again. I think I know part of the problem. I have 8 cigarettes left in the last pack I have. I am going to move Day One to this weekend. I will finish this pack off, and just not buy any more. If it isn't available, I will be able to fight the urges better. 'Just throw them away' one would think, but I got some weird part of me that claims that would be a waste of money. I know, weird, right?

I have the Interventional Radiology consult this morning. It will be about the TIPPS procedure more than anything. I have mixed feelings about it, but at least right now, I am wanting it done. If it can reduce the number of times I have to have a paracentesis, I am all for it. I do not know if we will set a date to do the procedure, or what. Find out later this morning I guess.

Paracentesis scheduled for 1pm tomorrow. I need it. I feel about 8L or so to be drained.

I decided to compete this week with RM. I have several packages coming in over the next week. I did get a couple shirts I ordered already. And a wide mouse pad with Office/Excel/PowerPoint functions so maybe when I need one, I don't have to go hunting on Google. I know Joe gave me a tip on the Miss Excel email, and I have gotten a few things from those. Thanks again, Joe.

Entertainment and House meeting tonight. I did get the agenda out yesterday, as I worked on it first thing. Riders Dinner is Friday, then we are going to quarterly dinners. Pulled Pork/Chicken sandwiches and a side this week.

Supposed to have a Chapter ride on August 1st called 'Burn Your Buns'. It's basically a ride around the Valley on the 202 freeway system. And it will be hot. I know nothing else about it. I told them at the last meeting to get the info together. I'm a Secretary - I just note the stuff, not plan it.

Another of yesterday's packages was one of the books I ordered. "Demolishing Doubt" by Cliffe and Stuart Knechtle. It was the one that caught my eye when I was at the site. I was thinking it was more on self-doubts, but it is about doubts that affect our faith. It's about doubts we have of 'Is God real', is the Bible true? Kind of more for a starting Christian. But will still be an interesting read. And it is a hardback. And it smells new (yes I am weird, I smell books.

And I think that concludes this morning's focus. I am already off and thinking about the consult.

PeacE

I *WILL* Overcome Difficulties

 When it comes to the cessation of smoking cigarettes (approximately 35 years) I am back to Day One. I truly am having a harder time with this than I do with sobriety. I get frustrated at myself when I fail to get through the day with out smoking, and that just starts the circle of wanting one even more. Heck, last week when I got the news I was deferred another three months, it was the first time I thought of even drinking since September. Why is it good habits are easy to break, and bad habits are hard? Well, that doesn't matter because today is Day One and I WILL make it through.

I slept sooo good last night. I had mentioned to the Wife in the afternoon that I was feeling pretty tired, and even upon waking that morning had felt a little groggy and just kind of dragging through the day. Told her I may go to bed early. By about 5pm, I had caught myself, dozing in the office chair while watching a movie. After dinner, I think I ended up in bed around 7-8pm. Not sure but about then. I played 2 rounds on my tablet game, and was falling asleep while playing. I shut down. Slept clear through to the alarm for the most part. I feel well rested today.

Outside of the morning routine, the first thing I did today was get the Agenda for tomorrow's meeting out. Now I need to do a letter for the Riders - supper this Friday. I need to take that chair up to Staples today to find out what can be done. I also need to get to the store for some more soda. I have been craving soda a bit lately. But I do have to watch how much I drink due to sugar amounts and weight gain.

Tomorrow morning I have a consult at Mayo with Interventional Radiology. We are going to discuss the TIPPS procedure, which hopefully would help reduce the ascites build-up in the abdomen, and possibly make a paracentesis less needed as often, if at all. I heard some good stories from past transplants about how well it worked for them. It would be removed at the time of transplant (as well as them fixing the umbilical hernia). I do have another Para this Wednesday.

That's it for now. Nothing too exciting going on for now.

PeacE

Day One

 I have been trying to quit smoking cigarettes the past few days. Today it is Day one, as the last two days I ended up having part of one, but it still counts. I made it to about 6pm yesterday, so my hopes are today that I will go all day. I read somewhere that it only takes three days to get over any nicotine addiction, but can take "forever" to change the habits that make us smoke. I had done it before years ago and lasted just over a year. The problem back then was friends smoked, and the bar was allowed smoking inside. Dating my self, but it is what it is...

I didn't really do much yesterday. I did go to my Support/AA group (big book study) and my Home group (welcome newcomers). I had meant to attend another one in the evening where one of the guys from my home group was going to share his story as a speaker, but I lost track of time playing video games and missed it.

Today, nothing on the calendar but I know I need to get the Agenda for Tuesday's House/Entertainment meeting completed and sent. I need to get an email out to the Riders as the Riders dinner is Friday, plus the info from the Convention. Plus play video games.

Okay, I admit it. I still need to chop up veggies as well. Make a quart (or two) of pickles and chill/freeze the others. Good healthy snack food. Gotta keep that weight down!

Bulk trash is tomorrow. The Wife and Youngest got most of the stuff ready and part of it to the curb yesterday. Wife had reached out to the Boys (they live in town) to see if either of the two older ones could help out. Oldest said he would be here this morning, but no sign of him yet and she isn't going to call him. He offered to help at her request and she feels like it would be placing him on a guilt trip. Which, in away, it would be - or a shaming. Today it is mostly hauling the large bags of grass, etc. from the back yard. I tried, but honestly ... I could hardly lift a bag, let alone carry it to the street. I miss my muscles.

Guess I should close this out today. I need to do some quiet time with God and there's a meeting at 11am I'll end up at.

PeacE

Happy Birthday America

 Today is Day One ... again. I'm starting to feel like it is 'Groundhog Day', well, maybe not quite like that, but you know what I mean. Fresh start on quitting the smoking. I can do this. I WILL do this. It's a matter of my health and life.

Wow, that was heavy for starting this off. It'll be short today. as I am short on time before my first meeting today. The Post is doing a flag raising at 9am, but that is when my Liver transplant/AA group meets, and honestly, I don't feel like going there this morning (the Post).

Yep pretty short. Nothing else that is on my mind that I want to share.

PeacE

Imbibing A Pirate's Drink ...

 ... no I didn't fall off the sobriety wagon. I am three days short of 10 months. But I do feel 'grog'gy ... see what I did there? I don't know why, I usually only feel this way when I wake after taking one of the sleeping pills, but haven't had one in awhile. Plus, I slept an extra 50 minutes after the alarm. Maybe I just woke from a deep sleep too fast? Eh, doesn't matter, it is slowly fading away, and I am almost back to normal (for me).

Today is Day One, again. I made it to about mid-morning yesterday before I had a cigarette. SO starting over again today. So far, so good.

Mayo IR called and scheduled the consult for the TIPPS. It is Tuesday morning at Mayo. I think I am going to opt for it. It should help with the large amounts of ascites I am having to drain every week again. Supposedly, it reduces the number of times I would need to have a paracentesis, if any, to hold me over until the transplant, where it would be removed. It is a an outpatient procedure. More to come after the consult.

Still waiting for the GI at Mayo to contact me regarding my appointment, as in setting one up, for the colonoscopy. I asked yesterday about it, and was told again that someone would call me. Maybe today ...

I am done being mad and irritated about the latest deferment. I have had wonderful doctors, nurses, and staff at Mayo, and the access to information, etc. has been phenomenal. But there are a couple things I would have thought they could have done better. Like the smoking. Why not tell me back in February to stop? They said it shouldn't be an issue as I am a light smoker. Maybe it was the results of the angiogram. I don't know. What's done is done, and I need to move forward and keep the eyes on the prize - my health.

I don't think I mentioned it, but a few days ago RM had gotten one of them Farmer's Market-type boxes of mixed veggies/fruits. She had ordered 2 by mistake, and had a large amount of cucumbers and sweet peppers. Of course, she thought of me (I *AM* the favorite, after all) and sent quite a bit with the Wife. As she said in her blog this morning, she needs to cut-up, or whatever, and freeze her supply. I need to figure out something here as well. I'm thinking do some cukes for snacking on, and peppers, too. Maybe freeze some of the peppers diced, ready for adding to a meal prep. Pickles ... I do have a gallon of vinegar currently... I sense some Zesty Italian pickles being made. But I should address that today, or by tomorrow.

We scheduled a bulk trash pick-up for Monday. The Wife has been working on the backyard removing limbs, etc. I feel bad because I cannot get out there and help much. Between being weaker now and my balance issues, I think we would worry more about me getting hurt than what needs to be done. This weekend we will take the bags and other debris out to the street. I can help with that at least, as long as it isn't too heavy.

Quite awhile back RM had mentioned a website she orders physical books from. ThriftBooks.com and they have used books for good prices (hardback and paperback, but one never knows which they have in stock). I spent about $30 the other day and got the book RM has been reading as it sounded interesting. Plus I picked up another self-help that I felt would be a good read for me. Real books. Outside of my author signed copies, I don't really have any physical books anymore. I prefer ebooks now. But I made an exception for these. Other than that, the only books I have are my Bible, the AA Big Book, AA's 12 Steps/Traditions, and some of my journals. I started a wishlist at that site, too, so RM has ideas for Christmas...

And I think that will wrap it up for me today. Happy Birthday tomorrow America!

PeacE

It's Hard to Be Positive, When You're Blood Type is B- ...

 I don't know where to start this morning. RM would say the best place to start is on your knees talking to God (not literally on my knees) and turn it over to Him. I did that yesterday. Still the issue runs through my head, no matter how I try to distract myself from thinking about it.

I got the call yesterday that Mayo Clinic is putting me on a another three month deferment. They want me to have a tox screen that shows NEG for nicotine and THC. The THC is giving a false positive, and they will re-address, but now they are requiring me to stop smoking completely. Granted, I am a light smoker, so the theory of quitting is pretty easy. Allegedly. But it is not that easy. I have to create distractions and new diversions to help me not think about it. Today is Day One, and for the 45 minutes I have been awake, things are good. I am sure to be somewhat irritable for the next couple of days at least. I did warn everyone at home.

While I am working on quitting cigarettes (and pretty much anything in general of smoking) they will schedule me an appointment with Interventional Radiology to discuss using the TIPPS procedure and making a decision to use it or not. Basically, it is way to bypass some of the blood going to the liver, back into my bloodstream without being "cleaned: by the liver. That relieves pressure on the liver, and thus reduces the ascites (fluid) build-up in the abdomen. They want to do this due to the frequency and amounts I have been having. This would be an outpatient procedure and would be corrected during the transplant. The idea is for less fluid accumulation, fewer paracentesis procedures, but has some downsides to it as well. I'll learn more about it at the appointment.

I asked about the colonoscopy they want me to do as it has not been scheduled yet. The nurse said she would nudge scheduling to get me in there as the booking is 'out there'. I have all the mixtures, etc. that they prescribed for this procedure, but need to know when to start taking them. 

I am sure you can understand how I feel a bit this morning. Trying hard to put the negative thoughts aside (Why didn't they say I had to quit back in February? Why wait now to consider the TIPPS?) but it is a daunting task. Day One for that as well. Making me work the Serenity prayer (which RM quoted to me partially yesterday) "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...".Sigh. Big order.

And the vibes keep going ... When I got home from my Para yesterday, the new office chair I had ordered was at the front door. I started to put it together, and near the end, realized there was one issue - the plate piece that has the side lever for raising/lowering, etc. would not fit properly. Four bolts were to hold it to the bottom of the seat, but the alignment was off. I could get 2 bolts in completely , one about 3/4, and the last would not align to a hole at all. You could see just a sliver of the hole, but no way it would fit. I can live with this. I finished by placing the seat on the shaft/wheel base (homosexual joke there) and sat on it, as instructed, to secure the attachment. I was happy. Until I went to lean back. The chair wouldn't. I adjusted the lever in/out but no change. I turned the tensioner all the way left, no tilt, turned all the way to the right, no tilt. It will not tilt at all. No bueno. I was going to put the chair in my car and go up to the store and have them 1) fix it, or 2) replace it. But I don't feel like doing that today. Maybe tomorrow.

Any other negatives I want to  throw out so that maybe I can just get rid of them? These are my major two right now and I cannot think of anything else right now. I also know I am a pessimist enough to wait for the other shoe to drop. Sigh. I wish I could quit adulting.

PeacE

Draining and Filling

 I slept through to the alarm this morning, sort of. I did wake around 5:30am, but told myself 'No. You are not getting out of bed until the alarm (or bladder) makes me. Then I cat-napped until the alarm. I feel more refreshed than I have on these early wake up mornings, so maybe I just need to do that. Works in progress.

This morning I have my paracentesis at 9am. Hoping that they "Drain me dry" today. Last Wednesday, and the Friday before that, it was 10L and stop - both times, leaving fluid in there. I want it out. Plus, I would be able to weigh myself and get a more correct measurement of weight loss/gain. The last time I was able to, about a month plus ago, I was down to 247 pounds. I'm hoping it has gone done, but realistically, if it stay around that number for now, I am okay with it. Just don't want to be stacking back on the weight like before. At least I don't drink and have all that sugar, etc. from the liquor, adding to that weight.

I like to think of the Wife and I being somewhat frugal. Though, I'm the one that does "shopping sprees" more then her. Monday I finally decided my office chair has reached it's end days. Four of the five wheel-rollers have broken off and the hydraulics for raising the seat do not work. I attribute most of that to my previous weight issues. Too dang fat for the chair (Weight-wise). I had already replaced it once under warranty (one of the arms connector to the seat broke) and it is now past the warranty I put on it last time. So Monday I sat in the broken thing and turned my browser to Staples. Why them? They are an office store close to home (for pick-up) and I have some rewards there. Shopping online, I saw no chairs really in stock at that location, but could order it, with free delivery to my home, and have it within a couple days. I found one I liked at a low price (about $60). How to keep the wheels from breaking again? Well, our office was an add-on to the house years and years ago, so the flooring is painted concrete. I guess over the years with Mom and Dad, it has worn some grooves (at the desk where I sit). SO, I saw they also had a floor mat, for hard floors (none of those plastic points on the underside) for about $30. I bought both. The mat was delivered yesterday, is in place already. The chair will probably arrive while I am at the hospital.

The Wife is off today, so not sure what plans will be after I get back home. Lunch will be first though. I almost always fast for these Para appointments (for weighing after). I do need to get those veggies RM sent chopped up and in containers. I need to send out a Riders message about what little happened on the Online Convention last Sunday. Agenda for the House committee will get done Sunday evening for sending out Monday.

With the times for my para, I may miss my home group this morning. I have been going almost everyday, just because I am sitting here playing games. Best to go than just sit here. I may look up any other meeting, where ever in the world, and meet new people. I used to be really bad about changing my routines and I will admit, I still have issues but I do try to be more open to change. Doing these meetings online just make it more convenient, and no traveling.

Welp, I think I shared enough today. Gotta "get dressed" for the para - gym shorts and T-shirt.

PeacE

*YAWN*

 I'll take the middle ground, I guess, as if I had a choice. Didn't wake until about 6:20 this morning - so I got an extra hour, but not really since I went to bed an hour later, trying to be tired enough to sleep to the alarm time. Oh well. Feeling tired this morning, even though I did not take a sleeping pill. This morning might require a nap at some point.

So I'm up, at my desk, and doing my daily checks (BP, glucose) and taking the handful of pills (and one liquid), I hear the Youngest talking a bit more than normal when he is awake at this hour. Seems he is on Discord while playing a game online. Had the Daughter, Oldest Son, Youngest Son, and a friend of theirs all talking while playing the game together. I jumped in to just say morning, especially to Oldest, as I rarely see him.

Calendar is empty today. I guess I will be playing "Where Winds Meet" for most of the day. It is a freebie game I found several weeks ago, based in ancient China. I am just amazed at the level of gameplay and graphics... and even the story line! At least it is free!

Not much to talk about today. I did pretty much gaming yesterday, plus my meeting. Had a nice surprise when the Wife came home last night. Seems RM had swung by her work with some food stuff, and some beef sticks for me! Thanks Mom! Some grapes, cherries, lettuce, green onions .... am not sure what else. Some snacky food that's healthy.

Welp, I'm outta here to spend some time talking to the kiddos!

PeacE

I'm Just Done ...

 This whole up at 5:30am stuff is just nuts. Here we are again today. This 'smart' ring says I slept for 4 hours last night, supposedly in a deeper sleep through the night than the usual waking a few times. I don't feel tired, but there is something to be said about that half-sleep where you are 'just right' comfortable, and the sun ain't over the mountain. Sigh. I give. I just accept it now. If I feel like I need a nap, I'll take one (as appointments allow) and just go by what the body tells me it needs.

Nothing major on the calendar for this week. Good! I see the only thing I have marked is a "business meeting" following our AA meeting this morning for my Home Group, and a paracentesis scheduled for 9am Wednesday - which I will be attending. My hope this week is that they are able to 'drain me dry'. Just short of two weeks ago, 10L were drained, and another 10L five days later. I don't feel as bloated as then, so am hoping to get the fluid down to regular levels. I also hope to here by Wednesday if my case was reviewed. And to add to the excitement, I need to get a colonoscopy done. Over the weekend I picked up five prescriptions. One was my statin pill, another my anxiety pill, and the rest were "aids" for the clean-out. Only, it hasn't been scheduled yet, so not sure when to start these. Most start like 6-7 days prior to the procedure. I guess I should send a message inquiring about it.

Giving up your stresses and problems to a Higher Power. I am still working on this step for AA - well, acceptance and the actual giving it up. The Riders Convention has had me stressed now for two weeks, even though I "gave up" and just waited to find out what is going on, instead of actively seeking the information. It paid off, somewhat. I received a message from our previous Director (why is he STILL getting our official info and not us?) that last minute, the Convention was going to be a Zoom meeting on Sunday afternoon starting at 1:30pm. There were only about 10-12 people that showed up for the meeting. They asked if there was anything in the proposed bylaws we needed to discuss to bring before National, and there wasn't really anything from this small selection of Riders. The main purpose of this meeting was to elect Officers for State, prior to the Convention in Reno late July. Which we did. And that was pretty much it. I was off by 2:20 (about 40 minute meeting) and ... yeah. Kind of felt like I was left hanging in the wind, but in truth, it is that we just do not have the information at this time. There is so much that needs to be on our National level, then trickle down through State, and finally Chapter. At least we are knocking "District" out of the loop now. I need to get an email sent out to our group just giving them the highlights of what we went over, and who the new officers will be for State.

Sigh. Worrying about things that do not need it. Seems to be a trait of mine sometimes.

Sister and BIL headed back to NM yesterday. It was a short turn-around, so I didn't get a chance to visit. Besides they were busy with their family stuff. RM must be tired today, as she had a drive up North (with PT) yesterday for a 'graduation'. I checked on her at one point through that Life360 thing. They were headed north, and were about Anthem (just north of Phoenix) so just starting the trip. Later in the evening I checked again, as she said they may find a hotel, as PT was voicing worries that they should not go, and is worried about her driving at night, etc. I only hear this stuff, and it is frustrating - imagine RM having to deal with it. Well, it was late when I checked, but they were home, and had been since about 8pm. So glad she did make it home with no major issues.

Well, that's about all I got to say about that. I'm off to message Mayo about scheduling the ol' poop-chute picture taking session.

PeacE

A Late Post on a Sunday

 *yawn* what a good night! I ended up going to the Post last night. I left the house about 2:45, took the car through the wash, picked up some sodas and chips at Fry's (yes, I did order them that morning for pick-up) then headed to the Post. My friend Stacey showed up not long after I Got there, and we had some time to sit and 'catch-up' on the past couple weeks. I stayed through until the drawing for the Queen (didn't win anything) then headed home. After not having really gone out to the Post much lately, excluding meetings, it was sort of nice to have a nice night out with a good friend. I'd say the same for some other friends, but they drink, which doesn't bother me, but I just don't feel like sitting in a bar all the time to hang out. I do still get together with them for a lunch every now and then - in fact, I'm hoping to have lunch this week and be able to share some good news.

Yesterday morning I received an email from the Riders previous Director. Seems the AZ State Convention is going to be today, at 1:30, via Zoom. So I sent the information out, and 'strongly suggest that all attend'. I got a fresh notepad here at the desk, and I have been racking my brain for questions to maybe ask if not covered in the meeting. I still did not receive this through 'official' lines of communication, and that really irritates me, especially after formally telling them the our previous director is just that - previous. All official communication needs to go to the current officers, plus gave them contact info. I'm hoping it is just they are scrambling (like all of us) in getting things done prior to the big vote at the end of July. Sigh. I know my duties as Secretary are going to increase ...

This morning I slept through until 7am and the alarm. Seems if I stay up really late, that happens. Well, I ain't doing that regularly (staying up real late) so will deal with whatever comes. I picked up some prescriptions at Walgreens yesterday. Five to be exact. One is the statin pill the cardio doc wants me to start taking again. three were prep stuff for a colonoscopy I have to have done soon, and then one of my regular meds. This next week I have many of the others that will be filled. I need to remember to get to CVS for one of them as well. They called last week and said they were sending it to the store.

So today will be a day. I think I am able to squeeze in my AA group this morning, and then the Riders thing this afternoon - will probably be 2-3 hours. Then it is game time! Hope you have a relaxing day, even though I know RM and PT will be on the road north for a graduation ceremony. Be careful out the RM!

PeacE

Another Free Weekend

 I only had one thing on the calendar for this weekend and that was the alleged AZ State Riders Convention, to be held at my Post. This whole thing is turning into a fiasco that makes me leery about all the changes coming down the line, and are we actually ready for it. It seems to me to be a bit of a rush job over the past few months to scramble around putting together bylaws that do not supersede the National VFW, etc. When I stopped by the Post yesterday for the first time in awhile, I was talking to the Adjutant (also a Rider) and the information he had was a date had not been picked for the convention, but still needs to be done before the end of June so we can elect State officers. So I am just going to sit on it and wait for official communication at this point.

Yesterday was a relax day basically. I was over the tiredness the sedation left me from the day before. I did my home group meeting, then went for a haircut, then down to the Post. I was back home by about 4:30, and spent the evening at home. My friend Stacey checked in on my yesterday via text as she had not heard/seen me since the about the Riders dinner earlier this month. I caught her up on my medical stuff. She and some others will be up at the Post tonight and asked if I was coming up. I said it depends on how I feel. Right now, I am not sure.

I need to get a new office chair for here at home. The kids bought me this one several years ago, and it has gotten to where the hydraulics on the seat won't keep it raised. Also the wheels are slowly breaking off. I am sure at my way heavier weight, it started the damage. Only about half the wheels are still on it. I've checked a couple Goodwills, but nothing there. I might need to shop Staples online or something.

Another 5:30 morning. I might as well just set my alarm for that time, so I can sleep through the alarm. I dunno. I wake feeling rested. That smart ring says I didn't sleep good last night, but I think I did - for what of it I did sleep. Checking my numbers this morning I see my BP is a bit low (95/56) so going to be taking things slow.

My Sister and BIL have driven in from New Mexico. Guess one of their granddaughters has a dance recital today, and they came back for that. I doubt that they, or I, will have time to get together as they are returning Sunday. I think it is about a 12-14 hour trek for them. Maybe next time...

Welp, guess that is about it for now. Just waiting on Wednesday and hoping they review my medical case. I really want to get on the List and start the real waiting.

PeacE

Slow Week of Posting

 ... and I don't apologize, so, sorry - not sorry!

Actually I have been fairly busy, and still have some more to complete that I have been putting off. Wednesday was a almost a full day at Mayo. Starting at 6:45am I had bloodwork, urine sample, consult w/Nurse, consult with Dr C, and finally, consult with the cardiologist. An angiogram was scheduled for Thursday already, for them to look at any possible calcium deposits in my veins. Then, if needed, provide measures that need to be done. Here's to hoping it can be done while I am on the Waiting List. Well, yesterday was the angiogram, starting at 5:45am. First time I have had one of these. The Wife took off work to be there, I think just in case something did go wrong. She has better medical understanding than my Son, and she had mentioned that if it came down to it, she'd prefer to be the one to make the decisions medically, rather than forcing it on my Son.

It was just fine and nothing seemed to go wrong from what I know. I came to in recovery, the Wife was already seated next to me. They held me there for a good hour or more as they released the bandage on my wrist where they inserted the catheter. I guess it is some kind of 'air bandage' that uses air pressure to keep the site from opening up and bleeding. They could only let a couple psi out about every 10 minutes. It wasn't so tight it hurt, in fact, right then I didn't even feel it. I was in and out of it most of that time. The Wife got the after-care speech and printouts. Then home we went, reaching there just before noon.

I missed my AA home group, but was able to get in on the transplant support meeting at noon. Afterwards, I played video games for a bit. I still need to get minutes out. I NEED to do it today, even if I have received no information about a State Riders Convention this Saturday, at our Post. Sigh.

I think today I will do the minutes this morning, attend my home group at 11am, and then head out to get my hair-cut and then off to the Post. Sounds good anyways. I need a break from my game I am playing. Results from angiogram should show up today. Hopefully all will be ready to go for review next Wednesday.

Fingers Crossed

PeacE

Happy Father's Day

 It's that day again, but this year I got my present early. Yesterday the Wife, Youngest and I went over to the Middle Son's to celebrate my grandson's 1st birthday. It was a small affair. Some of them went swimming for a bit, then did the cake and presents show. RM came, but she had to go once she saw PT was home - and he called her asking when she was going to be home. I swear, I am not going to let him upset me with this control he constantly tries to exert over everyone. Anyway, The Daughter and family came up from Tucson, and Even the Oldest Son swung by for a bit, with his girlfriend. I was able to have a few alone minutes with each of the kids, which was nice. Overall, the party was successful (Doc, the grandson) got a cake to smash, and new toys and shirts. Afterwards we headed home and I played video games the rest of the evening.

Never heard anything about this Riders Convention supposedly happening at my Post. It was on the calendar for yesterday. I heard verbally second-hand it is the 27th, but that Saturday, our Post has the hall rented out to someone else. I *still* have not received any official notification about the convention, or anything to do with it, except second-hand. We will see what happens this week. I do need to get the minutes done - been waiting all week to see if any information was incoming about the convention.

Wednesday and Thursday I will be spending some time at Mayo. Bloodwork, nurse visit, doctor visit, and cardiologist on Wednesday, followed by an angiogram on Thursday (at 5:45 am) ugh!

Not sure what I am going to do today. Maybe just mess around the house.

PeacE

A Decent Ending ...

 to yesterday. I had the paracentesis done. They removed the maximum amount the doctor's orders allowed (10L) and I received 3 doses of Albumin. Oh, the relief from all that pressure is gone! But, the tech said that there was still at least 2-3 liters left in there, and they will have to0 be that way until my next appointment (July 1st). But I feel so much better for now.

Cardiologist Nurse called yesterday. Scheduled an Angiogram for Thursday. Which means it will be yet another week before they can take to review for the Waiting List. I dislike all this waiting, just to wait more, but I understand the why of it. 

Today is the Grandson's birthday, and regardless of the Riders Convention issue, I am going to his party. I was last given the info that it was to be next week, so let it be next week. I need to stop and get a veggie/fruit tray when we head over. The Wife did some shopping for gifts the other day, so I am just rolling with that.

Up early again. I might as well change the alarm clock to this new time.

And that is all I got today.

PeacE

TGIF!

 I am really happy it is Friday. With the "error" in scheduling this week, and having to push my paracentesis to Friday ... Let's just say I am ready to be popped and drained. I would not be surprised if they take 10L (max allowed to drain per Dr. orders) and there is still a couple left in there. Well, it will have to sit another couple weeks, and I couldn't get an appointment set up before that. My abdomen is just so distended, and the muscles around it are getting sore from all the extra weight and proportions. I cannot wait for 1pm to get here.

Slept good last night again. The smart ring says I only woke twice (bathrooms calls) and I slept just under 7 hours. I woke when the alarm went off, and the Youngest was just outside the bedroom door. Seems he picked today to do the battery thing. HE already had it out, so we went up and of course it is dead. So they couldn't test it. Well, I said we'd be back about 9am and see where it tests. I have a feeling I am buying a battery this morning. I priced them, for his car. I remember back when I was paying around $100 for a battery. Now, the cheapest they carry is $260. Not happy, but what am I to do?

Still no word regarding the Riders Convention, that my Post is hosting supposedly. What a mess up. I admit, I am stressing a little about it. That, and when details do come around, I have so many questions. At least I finally will be able to network a little with some of the chapters, and contacts for their Secretaries, to ask questions of. 

Tomorrow is the 1 year birthday of my grandson, Doc. They are doing a little pool party for him, and we plan on going for a little bit. Their apartment is sorta small, so having a large group of people is cramping it up. I think RM even said she would stop by for a bit. I hope so. RM offered up some shorts she had gotten that may fit me, PLUS she bought some Pickle Crack hot sauce, and a thing of pickle salsa just for me. The hot sauce I have had before but not the pickle salsa. I love pickle de gallo, but sometimes it is hard to find in the valley. I think my regular grocery does not carry that type, but do have that brand of pickles. Maybe it was Sprout's I saw it at ...

Aside from the car battery stuff, and my paracentesis ... I ain't doing nothing today. I know I will be wanting to be still after the draining. 

And that's all I got this morning ...

PeacE

The Disease is Spreading ....

... you know, the one where you wake up earlier than you want. RM and I both thought after one good night, the problem was gone, but no. I have a bit of an excuse for my early morning today though. I was watching some episodes of 'Punisher' and it must have been around 5:30pm, but I slammed into a wall. I could not keep my eyes open. So I went to lay down for maybe an hour nap - don't want to sleep long, so I'll still sleep that night. I woke maybe three times before morning. Once when the Wife came to bed, and twice to go to the bathroom. I looked at the stats on my smart ring app, and it says I slept a total of 9 hrs. 17 min. So maybe it was a bit later when I went to lay down. Either way, I got more sleep, but am up early.

Youngest came to me yesterday, happened to mention he is having some battery issues with his car. It doesn't want to hold a charge. He has had to use the jump starter almost every time lately, and yesterday, even after driving it, then parking, three ours later it was dead again. SO I told him Thursday or Friday morning, if he pulls the battery, we will run up to Autozone and have them charge it (about an hour) and maybe find out if it is defective or what. I don't know if he wants to do it this morning, or tomorrow.

Nothing on the calendar for today, again. I added more appointments to next Wednesday - they forget to have the cardiologist check me out. And he will probably want to do a cardiac catheterization on Thursday (says the nurse I am talking to on the phone). Well, that'll put the council decision off another week, but if it needs to get done, get it done asap. As long as I get my paracentesis tomorrow, I don't mind the other appointments. I am very uncomfortable right now with this pressure. Tomorrow ... 1pm.

I might go to the grocery today to pick up a couple things, and try to make dinner tonight. Trying another new recipe I found that looks fairly quick and easy.

... and I guess that is all I got about now. I have got some time to waste before 11am, and 12pm (meetings) so I'll yap at ya tomorrow.

PeacE

I jinxed It!!

 I wrote yesterday about how nice it was to sleep until the alarm went off. But this morning, here I am awake at 5:20am again. This smart ring says I slept a solid 6 hours, and my numbers were pretty good this morning. I guess I will just keep my regular routine and deal with some early mornings. No sense in trying to readjust my routine for an hour.

I did send over to RM a review of this smart ring and app. I have never really went for these things be it a ring, watch, or whatever. I just don't think that they could give an accurate measurement all the time. This ring proved me wrong. Today is the third day I have worn it and what it does measure, that I check each day, is fairly spot on. And the other measures it does, I would guess those numbers reflect pretty accurately, too. This morning the ring was down to like 42% charge, so I took it off and placed it for charge, but it could probably go for about 4 days before needing one. My phone, not so much. With the app active all the time, my phone is about 40% lower on charge at the end of the day. I guess I may have to start plugging it in during the day ... I did ask RM if she needed the product back, but haven't heard. I imagine her saying no, as the ring is large enough for only one of my fingers, but would be large on hers. She had a second one as well, that she was going to have my Brother use/try, but I don't know if she has has had the chance to talk to him about it and give it to him. Price-wise it isn't bad.

No answer to my dilemma regarding the Riders Convention. Not my problem, except it is dire that I be there. But I really hope it stays on the 27th, as this Saturday is the Grandson's (Doc's) 1st birthday, and the Middle Son is having a come and go pool party things. I am looking forward to seeing him again, even if the beard scares him a bit. He needs to get used to being around me more, so he will not cry when I hold him.

I have a psychologist meeting this morning. The previous ones with this doctor didn't last long - around 15 minutes I guess, so this one will probably be about the same. The scheduling for my paracentesis for today was somehow entered wrong with scheduling, and I had to reschedule it. The best I could get was Friday at 1pm. I'm starting to hit the uncomfortable, disturbing discomfort level the past couple of days. Only two more to go...

I have been struggling for a little while now about accepting a Higher Power. This is a big thing in the AA 12-steps. My memories I have of being off/on church attenders for years, and in my early teens accepted Christ, and followed faithfully. Then after I got out of high school, marries, and 1st kid, I do not know but my relationship with God just went away. I lost faith? I "didn't have time" for Him? I don't know. Either way it has been somewhat hard revisiting, rebuilding, and renewing that relationship. Some parts of me still hold back, and I don't believe that that would  be full acceptance. Stuff for RM to pray about, and me to work on. Kinda funny that these past few days, my AA meetings have talked about acceptance of the Higher Power, and another time it was open-mindedness to the acceptance of God, so I have some things to ponder.

And I think that will be it today. Nothing planned except this one short appointment this morning.

PeacE

Misplaced Thoughts, Gripes, and-Look! Squirrel!!

 Yesterday morning I woke (though early) and made myself look at this week in a positive way. I had nothing going on that should cause any issues for me, so it should be a good week. That lasted about four hours.

I received a text from Banner Hospital (where I go for the paracentesis when I need one) to remind me of the upcoming Wednesday appointment at 9am. Brakes screeched to a halt. I have had the time set for 11am on my calendar for a couple weeks at least. I think when I was canceling a previous appointment, and setting up new ones weeks out, someone moved this one maybe as the 9am slot opened up for me. I don't know, but I need a draining this week. I have a Zoom meeting with a doctor at 9am though, so the call was made to scheduling. This close to Wednesday, I knew it would be hard to get what time I wanted, and in the end, I had to settle on Friday at 1pm. So two extra days and a few hours. It's going to be fun seeing if I can get through the week. I am pretty distended now, and it is starting to get very uncomfortable, ad some pain like when I roll over (shifting the fluid around, etc.). Sigh. But I did also make sure I had appts scheduled for the next three weeks.

A few minutes of breathing to calm down and get back into a positive mindset and the day went on. I did an AA meeting. I was complimented after the meeting, which surprised me. I have been attending meetings with this group for about two months now, and consider it my Home Group. A few of the people know just a little of my medical stuff, as it is part of my sharing experience. Well, one of the 'regulars' commented that I was an amazing person. That I could be feeling the lousiest, hurting the most, whatever, and I am always positive and open at Group. I don't take compliments well, but I swallowed it and said Thank You. I had to spend a few minutes getting my ego back down to normal size... 

Riders meeting last night. Oh boy, the stress started up. Discussed the Riders Dinner plans for July, then voted to go to having the dinners once per quarter rather than monthly. With the same 5-6 people doing it constantly, we are getting burn-out, so this will help on that front until we can truly build up our roster. Our past Director received some information about the bylaws to be voted on this year and shared with the group. I have many questions going on in my head. I did print out the proposed bylaws so I can try to read through it today and write down my questions. There is supposed to be a Riders State Convention on the 27th, at my Post, but there is a huge scheduling conflict already. I reached out to Post leadership about it 0 no answers yet. Seems we need to have a state convention to vote to accept these National bylaws prior to the official vote in late July. Several big changes, most I like, but still. I came home a bit stressed about all this. I am the Secretary, and it will add more to my workload, especially of stuff I *don't* know the procedure or who to report it to. I am sure this will be discussed more later on.

The other parts of the day were good though, and I did sleep well last night, all the way to the alarm this morning! I have been working on a review for a smart ring and app. Today is Day Two wearing it, and I pretty wrapped up my thoughts on the product. Will be submitting it today. Longest review I ever wrote I think.

Today is an open day on the calendar. Probably will do the AA meeting later this morning. At some point this week I need to write up the minutes from last night's meeting, but there is not an extreme rush on it. Friday is a luncheon for my AA group to meet up and in person. I was debating  on going. The only hold back is that it is 'downtown' (Thomas/22nd St area) and if you figure we leave there about 2-3 puts me into rush hour. Now I cannot go as Friday at 1pm is my paracentesis, same as the luncheon. I mentioned it before the meeting yesterday, and I guess one of the guys does the printing for hats, or something to do with them, and he had some freebies to give out to those who show up. Well, I wanted a ballcap, so mentioned it to him. He just ask I text him my address and he would send me one since I couldn't make it. Woot!

Applying for disability and being approved has helped so much, even in just the last month. I have brought my account at Mayo to a currently 0 balance. Started a payment plan for 6 months with the hospital, less than $500/month, to bring that current total to 0, paid off all the smaller medical, dental, etc. for the Wife and I both. And still have a bit leftover. I mentioned to the Wife last night we are just going to build on the leftover each month from my check, save it up for future big medical - like if my transplant doesn't happen until after Jan. 1, when deductibles reset. So doing well on that front.

Welp, the Wife just left for work. I am running out of thoughts for right now. I am sure RM will be checking for my post anytime now. Y'all have a good one!

PeacE

What is Wrong With Me?

 Here we are again. Awake at a 4:45am and unable to go back to sleep. Seems like this is like the fourth or fifth day in a row it has happened. I mean, I do like getting the sleep I do get, compared to the insomnia issues I was having for years, but this is just frustrating. By noon time I am wanting a nap, but don't because I want to sleep well that evening. Doesn't seem to have made a difference, so maybe today I will try like a 30-minute nap and see what happens tonight.

Not racing today to beat RM in getting a post up. She has already ceded the contest. Just some fun because we were both waking earlier than our normal.

The only thing I have on my calendar for today is the Riders meeting this evening. I did complete and send out the Agenda yesterday later in the day. Only one correction was needed, and it wasn't big enough to re-edit and send out, so just corrected it by hand on my 10 copies I printed. Of course I did edit the document, so it is properly marked for record-keeping. Not much on the Agenda, but a couple bigger topics need to be addressed.

I have a Zoom meeting Wednesday morning with the Psychologist, followed by a paracentesis at 11am. I need it. I have been uncomfortable the last two days, and I stick out like a petite woman having triplets. I'll feel so much better when I get drained.

I need to go around to some Goodwill stores. I am looking for an office chair. The one I have now was a Christmas present, and has had the warranty (now expired) used once to get an equivalent replacement. Now the floor here in my office is painted concrete, so rollers are a necessity. From there it is comfort and 'wants'. If I hit a couple stores and not find anything, I may go to Staples (where original chair was from) and see what they have at a reasonable price.

Saturday, my grandson, Doc, turns one! The Middle Son is having a little come and go type party between the pool and his apartment. I signed up to bring a veggie or fruit tray. Need to find a gift that I am able to get before Saturday. Papaw been slacking... Hoping the Daughter and family will be up for it, but not sure. They are in Missouri for a weeding this weekend. Maybe the Oldest Son will show as well. Youngest is riding with us.

Here's a bit of a pisser ... So the party is Saturday starting about noon. I noticed on our VFW Post calendar, the is a VFW Riders State meeting scheduled 1-4pm at my Post. First I ever knew of it. It does say tentative, so not sure what is happening, but if it happening, I need to be there. So much for seeing the family. Sigh. Going to have to reach out for more info I guess. I just messaged the Jr. Vice Commander to ask for any details. There's a problem if this is happening, as our Chapter never received any information about the meeting, let alone it being at our Post. There is so much going regarding the Riders right now, I get frustrated at times trying to sort out, prepare for, etc. these new changes.

Well, I need to go to the Reading Room for a bit. Y'all have a good one!

PeacE

The Race is On ...

 The past couple days or so, it seems RM and I have been waking earlier than our alarms. I'm talking like two hours ahead for me, and at least an hour for RM. Either way, it has seemed like a race to see who is able to get their post for the day up, for the other to read. I might win today. Not that there is any prize, just some 'friendly competition'. After all, you cannot write good, quality, poignant posts if you are just typing away.

Either way, it is Sunday morning, and I woke about 5am. Laid there for about 20 minutes before ceding the wake-up. Will see later how the Wife is doing, if she is going to go to church this morning or not. IF she is, I would like to go, but I am in enough discomfort with the abdomen distended right now, I kind of do not want to go. Thank goodness I set my paracentesis appointments out like three weeks. Who knows how hard it would have been to get one this week. I have a psychologist meeting for Mayo on Wednesday. Next Wednesday is some bloodwork, nurse visit and then appointment with one of the doctors on my team. That should be it then, I hope. Well, at least enough for them to put me on the waiting list. I noticed the other day my MELD is still at 16.

I didn't do much yesterday. The Wife had a dental cleaning around 11am. I think I had mentioned a couple weeks ago, that I had tried to reach out to the dentist's office, but no one answered, and it was locked down when I stopped by there. Well, found out more specific details as to what happened. The office shares a parking lot with a cat hospital. the hospital had been broken into, trashed, etc. Also fairly recently, the dentist office had had someone(s) steal the4 copper wiring/piping from the A/C unit. Insurance covered and repaired that, then it happened again. I guess the insurance isn't going to cover it again, especially so soon after the first time. So the Dentist is working out of another dental office, just a couple miles further from our house, a couple days of the week, to keep what clientele they can as they decide what to do. This other dental office is owned by the Dentist's brother, also a dentist. The Wife said she got the impression from the Dentist that he is going to close the office, and just practice with his brother at this other location. I am not sure I even like this guy. I may shop around for a dentist I won't freak out about (I truly dislike dentists in general - I think it the whole 'poking a needle in me where I cannot see it'). Luckily <knocking on wood> the toothache I have had has not flared up in the past couple weeks, so I might have a little time before I need to get it done.

And the Wife brought lunch home when she finished her appointment. Some Chino Bandito!! Man, I think my 'usual' has gotten spicier! Or maybe it had been awhile since we have had Chino's. I could only eat half. Did the other half for dinner. Still have some hamburgers and hot dogs from the other night. Yeah, the Wife and may not have to cook at all today as well! I do need to get the Agenda done for the Riders meeting tomorrow night, but there isn't much to really put on there so shouldn't take too long.

I think I will kill some time this morning playing a video game. Oh, and here is some music, because of the post title ...

Man, I watched that video (music starts about the 1:40 mark) and the 80's hair styles....

PeacE

Crickets and Flies ...

 Yesterday started off fairly nice. There was a cloud cover that looked like it wanted to try to rain, but this being the Valley, of course it didn't. I planned my morning out the day before - pick-up from Fry's the remainder of items I needed for the Riders Dinner, then head to RM's to visit while PT was out for his Men's group and friend visitation. It was a good visit (as most are) as we sat in her 'office' (spare room) and chatted while she was was watching/checking her work computer for anything that might come along that needs her attention. In the three hours or so we had together, I think we covered several topics. I even learned a little more about RM, believe it or not. PT looked (to me) like he was butt-hurt that I had been there visiting there without him being home. Oh well. Sorry, Charlie! (Remember that commercial?)

So. around one I left there and headed to the Post. Unloaded my food stuff and had an iced tea, then played on my tablet until about four. There was only 4 of us to work the whole dinner last night, but it went on okay. Our numbers of attendees went way down from other dinners, and not sure why. I know the VFW had the Western Convention in Tucson this weekend down in Tucson, but Leadership rarely participates in the dinners we put on (even the Cmdr. who is the Treasurer of our chapter). One lady did buy 6 meals, so that helped put us in a small profit zone. It was crickets chirping from about 5:15 until we wrapped up about 6:30. I ended up taking home the cooked meats at the end. About a dozen burgers, both with and without cheese, and a handful of beef hot dogs. Took home a package of buns for both, 1 (of 2) buckets of potato salad w/mustard, and another I picked up for personal - it's the same thing, but "Southern Style" so I want to see/taste the difference. A paragraph for another day.

The Wife and I had a discussion last night. At the end, I admitted I wanted to think on it for a day at least before offering my thoughts. Unfortunately for you , the reader, I cannot share this here, regardless of anonymity. RM and I touched this topic yesterday in our visit, and we are on the same page, but there have been some developments. RM has powerful prayers, and I know my Son needs it right now. No, no one there is hurt, just other things going on. So, RM, we may have to do a lunch again pretty soon.

This weekend the only thing I have on my "to-do" list is the Agenda for the Riders meeting on Monday evening. Today, the Wife has a dental appointment near noon. Since I have nothing on my calendar, I will probably do my Twice Gifted meeting at 9am, and then my home AA Group at 11am. I'll wrap it up about when the Wife will be headed back home. She might even pick up lunch... what do I want....? I'm thinking Subway. I got burgers at home, so no burger place. Wife had Arby's for lunch yesterday, so that is out. She won't be near Chino Bandito, so that's out. That pretty much leaves subs, and there are more Subways than Jersey Mikes or Jimmy Johns here. I will have to ask her before she leaves.

So, you know the crickets. What about the flies? Well, I want to be a fly on the wall for a particular conversation that is to take place soon. No details! Just wanna be a fly for a bit ....

... and with that, I am out of here. I am feeling a bit of discomfort with the abdomen area today. The belly is distended pretty good, and I don't have the Paracentesis until Wednesday. Might be 10L then - that's the max they can drain per doctors orders. I can do this. Only a handful of days. At least it isn't brutal pain ... that is to come...

PeacE

I'm Free!

 Today I make myself sound busy. Last night I set up a Frys order to be picked up at 8am (stuff for Riders Dinner) and then I am headed out west to ol' Sin City ... I mean, Sun City ... to visit with RM this morning while PT Is not home. From there I'll probably grab lunch somewhere, then head to the Post early.

Riders Dinners. Riders Meetings. I'm starting to get frustrated with the Riders (our chapter). I know we barely started a year ago, but only 7-8 people show to the meetings, even fewer sign-up to help with the dinners - be it picking up or making food, or just to help set-up and clean-up. I think at our next meeting (Monday) I am going to bring up that I am no longer going to "lead" the dinner stuff. I would like to delegate to someone to do that, but no one shows up to meetings. The whole catch-22 ...

It'll be a nice visit this morning with RM. I am not headed there for any reason other than to visit - no exciting news (I wish it were) or anything ... just a visit.

Okay, enough from Negative Nellie. I need to work on being more positive about my outlook in general.

PeacE

Another Free Day ...

 ... sorta. I have nothing on my calendar today. I still need to get buns for tomorrow's dinner. My Brother will be grilling for us (pre-warning RM) but at least his Wife is out of town and not going to be there. I shouldn't speak badly about her, (as RM says, erase, erase, erase).

I did not hear from Mayo yesterday. I got to thinking about this week. Tuesday late afternoon, Mayo did call twice moving up a couple appointments. Are those requirements on their side of getting me on the list? If so, the second one isn't until the 24th, so it may be 2-3 weeks before it goes to the Council. I am in limbo, aside from making the appointments they schedule for me. It's in God's hands though, so whatever will be, will be. I have committed to the transplant fully, and will see it through, if the doctors still say I need it. I'm not anxious or scared, just need these 'stages' (like waiting to get on the list) to be marked so mentally I may prepare for the next hurdle. That make sense?

I think I will wait until tomorrow to get the buns. I want to be sure I will be able to take the call if it comes at whatever point today. If I do it right, I may visit with RM (minus PT) and then go to the store. Will have to check in with her to get times.

... and because I did nothing pretty much yesterday (played video games, watched Season 3 of 'Jack Ryan') I will do it again today as I didn't finish doing nothing yesterday.

PeacE

A Day of Nothing

 As part of my morning routine, I check my calendar for any appointments, events, etc. Today is the first weekday in quite awhile that it is blank. No IOP. No personal session. No appointment at Mayo. It feels a bit weird not having anything I HAVE to do.

Yesterday, at the completion of the IOP session, I received my certificate of completion, which I promptly forwarded to Mayo. This was the last deferment item that I was in control of completing, in order to get on the waiting list. The Transplant Council meets today, and I am hoping my case is up for review. I did receive two separate phone calls from Mayo yesterday afternoon. One was to schedule Bloodwork/Nurse/doctor visit (24th) and a Zoom meeting with the head psychologist (17th), so they did move those appointments up sooner. I am hoping they are able to put me on the list, and just have these two items to be completed then. I just don't know, so I am a bit ... anxious? apprehensive? nervous? ... as I wait to hear what is going on. It could be that it doesn't go to Council today, and instead have to wait until after these appointments. I just don't know. I am going off of what my Team Psyche doctor told me last week about it going to council today. Either way, fingers crossed.

I am a bit groggy this morning. I took one of my sleeping pills last night, and slept through until the alarm went off (7am) and then I rolled over and slept until about 8am. I think it is a side effect of the pill, but it is clearing up pretty fast.

VFW Riders dinner this Friday. I ended up asking my brother to come and help by doing the grilling. I never learned the "art" of it, and don't trust myself. I never made it out to the bread store, so figure I will just pick up the cheap brand at the store. It will cost versus being donated, but at this point I just don't care. The whole Riders chapter is on my crap list right now.

I suppose I should go finish my morning routine and see if RM has something up.

PeacE

It Is Finished ...

 No, not the bible quote, but my IOP I had to attend. After 2 months, 11 hours per week, this step in my journey is over. In some ways I compare it to a video game where I have just finished my 'Apprenticeship' and now may roam the world better equipped in mind and body. I've mentioned before that I really did enjoy this course and I did. I learned more about my triggers, ways to cope with things and over all how to be more self-aware. But that ends today. My Group Lead should have my completion paperwork ready for when session is over today, which I will promptly forward over to Mayo. More on that in a minute.

Last Wednesday during my 'personal' session with the Group Lead, we did the ending self-exam. That gal said she was going to miss me and that I was one of the most fun people they have had in sessions in awhile. They had even allotted me like a couple minutes after each session to share a joke - I need to find a good one for today.

So once I get the completion paperwork, and promptly get it over to Mayo, it concludes my part of the deferments that I am in control of. The psychologist I meet once a month, and last week, said it should go to the Transplant Council this week (they meet on Wednesdays) and I could have an answer this week about making the Waiting List, or if other issues came up that need to be addressed beforehand.

Yesterday I went and did lab work (1 vial of blood) and then headed to Walgreens. I did not "lose it". I did not yell and scream. I explained what happened, and the lady went to check my records on the computer. She says,"Well, the prescription is available for the full amount as of 6/4. I looked at her, and said, "Today's the 8th. Fill it, now. I never got the refill notice from Walgreens, otherwise this would not be happening." I didn't want to wait around there for 30-45 minutes (they are only like 5 minutes from home) so I went home. Come afternoon after I got the text it was ready, I thought I should go up and get it, plus the one for my Wife, but I couldn't. My mind was ... messed up. I didn't feel right driving (that's HUGE coming from me). I thought the Youngest would be out of bed soon, and he could drive us up, hit the drive-thru, and back home in 10 minutes. Only he didn't get up. The Wife texted, asking if I got hers, and briefly in text said no, don't feel good. They are open until 9pm. Get mine too. And she did.

So I took some last night, and am able to already tell a difference from not taking this for a week. I was up three additional times last night to drain the bladder. I'm still waking up, so will as the day goes how my head feels. I do have an Auxiliary meeting tonight.

Alright. So there may be some really good news within the next couple days. I'm off to find a good joke.

PeacE

Some Days ...

 ... it is hard to be positive about things. Now, I have been pretty much a pessimist for years. Always seeing the bad side of things. Well, I have been trying to turn that around these past few weeks, and have mad moderate success. It's a job to change a habit. This week is feeling like a bad one, even with all the good stuff happening.

I didn't make it to Walgreens yesterday. The Wife needed to run into work and finish some reports that are due on Mondays. Seems the other PT was out last week on vacation, and the Wife didn't want to leave a pile of stuff for her to wade through and do. So, I stayed home. I only left to get a pick-up from Fry's for a couple items I needed for my chili. First time I have used the pick-up option, and it was so easy, and convenient, I would pay the nominal fee that they charge for it. I was earlier than the time allotted, and it still took less than 5 minutes. Speaking of, I thought the chili turned out really well. The Wife said it had some spiciness to it (she can't handle that) and I admitted that one of the cans of beans said it had jalapenos in it ... but I didn't notice that until it was open and I was dumping it in. The other can was regular. I blame someone in the store for putting that jalapeno one with the regular... The Youngest even had two bowls! To me that is a good sign. I even have leftovers for today ... or tomorrow.

Have a blood draw for lab work scheduled today at 9am. Afterwards, I am head to Sun City to a day-old bread store that have donated for the Riders before. I am hoping they will donate some hamburger and hot dog buns, that I can pick up Thursday for Friday's dinner. I'm still trying to find someone to grill the meat, and may end up using my brother. He said he would know Tuesday, as he has to work around a sitter (
one of his kids) for his granddaughter. 

Since I am less than a mile away from RM's at that point, I said I may stop by and visit a short while. I do have a 1pm Zoom meeting that I would prefer to do at home, versus from my phone, so probably won't stay overly long. Reminds me I need to get the jar from her salsa and the bag she sent them in back to her. Let's see if I forget or not.

Having gone a whole week without that one prescription has made a difference. I am distended a bit, nay a lot, more than usual. It is a diuretic, and without it, I'm not getting enough fluid out of my system. I have been good about keeping an appointment for paracentesis each week, and calling to cancel if I don't need it, but this week got lost in the shuffle I guess, as I don't have one scheduled for this week. Going to try to make it to next Wednesday. I think it is harder since it has started to warm up so much here, and even though I am on a fluid restriction, I think I tend to drink a bit more water due to the heat. Shrug. If I have time, I'll stop at Walgreens on the way home.

And now it is just after 4:30am. I am awake and bored.

PeacE

Good Cop, Bad Cop

 I imagine that is how it will go at the pharmacy at some point today. One of my prescriptions has gotten messed up between the doctor, the pharmacy, and my insurance ... and a little bit by me. My fault in it is that I should have caught it before ...

What am I talking about? This one prescription is one of diuretics, which means it is a blood pressure pill as well. I started these back in December, I think - maybe January) and it was prescribed for two 100mg tablets a day. This was the 'liver doctor' that took three months to see back int he beginning. Anyways, Mayo decided to increase it to three pills/day. The prescription was sent in to Walgreens and life went on with me taking the dosage amount.

I Should have looked at the label (aside from verifying which med it was) and noticed, it still said 2/day. Two weeks ago, I noticed that oddly enough, I was running out. I filled my weekly pill boxes, and yes, I ran out. I happened to check the label and notice it was the old prescription. Well, I contacted Mayo and explained what was going on, they checked again with the doctor, confirmed it is 3/day. I said I need a new prescription sent over then, as well as one to give me an additional 30 pills so I can 'hold out' until it is time to refill. New prescription went over. My insurance put a hold on it because it hasn't been long enough from the last refill. I ran out about mid-week.

So, today I am taking the Wife with me, and going to Walgreens, to see if they can just get the pills to last me until the refill time and I'll pay out of pocket or whatever. My problem is that I start to get very frustrated and angry that even after things were explained, everyone seems like 'Okay. Well, your refill is due...' The Wife is going to keep me from raising my voice and be the voice of reason. I hope. And I hope to resolve this today. Last night I started feeling weird. It's hard to describe, so I won't waste your time describing it, but I believe it is because I haven't been taking this medication for several days. I cannot verify that. This morning I feel slightly better, but not 100%. Lord, please make this happen....

I am making dinner tonight. I figured I will crockpot a batch of chili. I got most of the fixings Wednesday, but realized last night I forgot something, and also picked up the wrong kind of beans. Sigh. What was I thinking? I picked up pinto beans, when I wanted ranch style/kidney beans. I don't even like pinto beans... So I see a grocery stop today as well.

I ordered some things from amazon a few days ago. A new S-pen for my tablet. A can tip that "spreads out" four legs. Not so much needed for balance and all, but because  the cane I am using currently is a walking can, straight, no hook. So when I sit down, it has to be propped just right to keep it from clattering to the ground. This new end-piece will make it "stand on its own" so that I don't need to worry about it sliding down the floor so much. Also got a new tablet protector case that meets my desires - my old one has been abused so much, several clips have broken, and the tablet falls out of it when carried a certain way. I've had that case since I bought the tablet several years ago. Well, the first two were to be arriving on Friday, the tablet protector on Saturday. Friday I get an email there was a "problem with the delivery" and that they would try again. I'm guessing it was marked to go out, and missed the truck or something like that. No biggee - it'll be here in a couple extra days. The cover arrived yesterday with no problem. No other package. I went online to see if there was more information about this error, but it all just stays the same. So, I figure it must be an error on their part somewhere in the process. Hope it comes Monday. OR better yet, today.

Tomorrow, I shall recount the adventures of today, and hope that there are good things to report ... or at least humorous one.

PeacE

Celebrate Good TImes, Come On!

 Today is a day of celebration! Well, everyday is as it says we should rejoice in the Lord daily, but I'm trying to keep the religious out of the conversation for now.

Today marks nine months of sobriety for me. No relapses. I am turning into a better person with not drinking, as well as all the stuff I am learning how to 're-do' in life: being more empathetic, a better listener, nicer. It's hard for an old asshole like me to make these changes ... but here I am doing it.

Short and sweet today. I have two meetings I want to do today. First the 12 & 12 study with my AA/transplant support group, followed by my regular AA home group. And yes, I'm going to enjoy the short minute where everyone claps and says "Good Job!" on my nine months. Then I am going to the bar and having a shot - just kidding! Probably will be at the Post tonight.

Y'all have a good 'un...

PeacE

School is Almost ...

 ... over. Completed. Finished. The. End. My last day of IOP is Tuesday and in some aspects, that is a terrific thing. Once done I should have my case reviewed by the Council for consideration to add to the Waiting List. Aside from completing the IOP, they wanted another MRI of the abdomen, which I am having done at 5:45pm today. Hopefully rush hour will be easy on us, and we will be going against the rush...will have to see.

I'm up early today because ... well, it's because ... Heck. I don't know why, I just am. Nothing to really share today. I have been over the topic of wrapping up all the deferments, and talking about that, that not much else has been on my mind.

Yesterday I was pretty sore. All in a good way. When I had spent the better part of the afternoon doing errands and a little grocery shopping, it was quite a bit of exertion. After that, the Wife (who was off work that day) said I should have hollered for her to come help unload the bags. I gave her a blank look and asked why? I felt good enough to do it, and without help I did bring it all in in two trips. There were some heavier items: 2-liters, gallon of milk, couple 1-gal jugs of Arizona Tea for Youngest, etc. Oh I started to feel it after I was able to sit down for a minute. Yesterday, my calves, knees and hip were quite vehement about being abused the day before. Today not so bad ... still sore a bit, but overall good.

My crockpot recipe I made Wednesday night went over well, so I have added it to my repertoire. It was a really good four ingredient deal for the crockpot, and it cooked about 3.5 hours. I did make a couple mental adjustments to the recipe for next time, though I don't know when that will be, so I hope I remember it then. Sunday I am making some chili for dinner.

Welp, I think I will get out of here for the day. Y'all have a great Friday!

Oh! Just for you ...

Isn't it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom ... unless they are flashing behind you.

PeacE

A Little Bit of Good News ...

 ... goes a long way! This morning I had the Zoom meeting with the psychologist on my team. She was thrilled to see how I have changed - even in just the last 30 days. I let her know my IOP is done Tuesday and that was the last deferment item within my control. Was there anything more the hospital needed to complete (with or without me). The only outstanding item she saw, was another MRI of the Abdomen, which I explained is scheduled for Friday at 5:45pm. She said all she needs is the completion paper to show I completed the IOP, and my case will go to the Council again. There they will determine if I make the list or not, or if they want to add some more procedures/tests for whatever reason. She said if I can get the paper to her Tuesday afternoon, it could go in front of the Council on Wednesday next week. In my head, that feels quick, but everything else IS done. Hoping for good news next week.

Today was busy for me and physically tiring. I had my two Zoom appointments, and did a Zoom AA meeting in between. At 1pm I loaded up to go get stuff done out of the house. Went to the dentist office (less than a mile from my house) to get my appointment set. I had called earlier and got their AI bot answering service. I did notice to call me to schedule an appointment, in the afternoon. No text. No call. And when I pulled into the office, I saw why. Despite the phone recording saying open on Wed, Fri and Sat, but the security gate was down over the doors, and no cars were in the lot. This is at approximately 1:15p. Sigh.

Next on my list was the drugs ... *ahem* ... I mean the prescriptions. I barely made it to the window before their lunch break at Walgreens, and picked up 4 of them. Next was CVS less than a mile on T-bird from Walgreens. They had in the "special order" pills I take to help with the encephalopathy. Picked up - check.

I was a couple miles from my car wash, which was also on the way to the grocery (Frys/Kroger) so I ran the car through. I did a couple new window stickers. One is smaller and has a picture of like an AR-15 with the words "the second protects the first". The other I have had for a couple years, and just never knew where it was for my first new car (which never had stickers/decals on it) but I found it about a month ago whilst going through some older paperwork in my desk. It is from the company of the same name, that does beard products, called 'Live Bearded'. It is a head shot with only the hair silhouette showing of a beard male. Looks cool now.

Got to the grocery and spent too much time walking through the store. But I needed to get a few items for the crockpot dinner I was making tonight, and for the dinner I am making on Sunday. Of course, because I was there in person, I picked some others things we could use, and maybe want somewhat (Sodas, etc.). Got milk. Then headed home. I unloaded the car myself! There were about 10 or so bags, and they weren't exactly light - well, to me. I know I have lost some muscle mass, but today I saw I definitely need to work my arms/chest as they were tired with two loads of multiple plastic bags.

I started dinner. It was a video I had found on social media, and looked good. It has only four ingredients into a crockpot for about 3.5 - 4 hours. It's a winner! Both the Wife and Youngest said it was pretty good! Saving for future dinner reference! 

Now I am ready for bed. I did take the trash out (pick up is tomorrow morning, before I get up). I'm going to try to talk Youngest into putting away the remaining part of supper, put the crockpot thingy in the sink and fill with water - I Will wash tomorrow. Also take out the recycle for us. Our cans are not full, in case he "forgets" or just doesn't do it ... but he BETTER put up the leftovers.

And with that, I am out of here. I wrote this one tonight so RM will have something to read in the morning.

PeacE

*yawn* Hey. Mornin' ...

 ... has come, and I forced my butt out of bed. The Wife is off from work today, so when my alarm went off at 7am, I was going to just 'nap until' it was time for my first appointment today. But no. I argued myself out of bed to get the day started. Have several things I Want to accomplish today.

First up, I have a 9:15am Zoom meeting with the psychologist on my transplant team. It shouldn't last more than 30-45 minutes I think.

At noon I have a 1-on-one with the Group Lead for my IOP. This will be my last personal meeting with her as I finish up the program on Tuesday. That one will last an hour.... she always gets me talking!

Those are the only things on my calendar, but there is more I want to accomplish today. I need to look up a couple crockpot recipes I had saved to try, figure what ingredients we have here at home and go to the store for the ones we don't. I am going to do dinner tonight probably.

Need to pick up prescriptions. I have been out of a couple all this week so far, so "my meds are messed up". I have notice that 3 are ready for pick up. 

I need to schedule a dental appointment regarding this tooth pain. It faded (finally! around 6:30p yesterday, and is only slightly bothering me this morning. Need to get the deep cleanings scheduled as well.

I paid current the balance I had at Mayo Clinic yesterday. Now to start working on my Banner balance and yet leave some monies free to help cover the dental work I need right now.

At some point by Monday I need to get out to the 'one-day' bread store out near RM's. We are doing hot dogs and hamburgers for the Riders meal NEXT Friday and we need buns. We have used this store before and they were ecstatic to help us out and donated what we needed. I am hoping it goes as smoothly as then, as I was not the person that "landed" this place for bread donations. Need to get an email out to the Riders who has signed up for what, and see if anyone will step up.

By tomorrow evening, I need to get the minutes completed and sent from the House/Entertainment committee meeting last night.

So ... busy day for me even though I know probably not all of it will get done. Appointments, dental, medications, then everything else is my priority order. I'll add in I may do an AA meeting today as well. That will be at 11am if I do it. Will see if I am busy at that time and plan accordingly.

I read this morning that my Brother has all five of his grandkids for a couple days. I am debating hooking up and going there to visit them. Everybody loves Uncle Ralph! Some I have not seen in awhile as they live far enough out of town I am not driving 4 hours just to visit someone else's grandkid! Well, depending on the circumstances, but to visit ... no.

The Wife has some things she wants to get done today, like planting some new rose bushes out front. I don't know if we just have some bad soil, they aren't properly cared for (watering, sun exposure), or what, but they newer plants seem to keep dying - no matted the time of year. I know she plants them in fresh potting soil, but other than that, I have no idea what she does, except water them. Maybe she just needs to add some rose plant food. I dunno. 

I am sure the Wife would love to do a lunch date with me today, but I just don't know. I have that appt. at noon for an hour, then I need to get meds, food, running around done before returning home to start on dinner. Sometimes when she gets an occasional day off it is hard to plan anything as she doesn't even know until the day before.

I miss my grandkids. I got to have lunch (Papaw's treat) with the Wife, Middle Son, his partner, and Doc - my only grandSON at this time. It wasn't much, but it was still good - even if the almost one year old wouldn't have anything but a stare for me the whole time. Cried whenever I would reach for him. Sigh. This to shall pass. I think it about time to go to Tucson for a day, or see when they are coming up this way , so I will be able to see the Daughter and family. Doodad is out of school for the summer, and Widget ... some of the antics we hear about her are just wonderful! She's going to end up sassy like her mother.

I am sure there is more I could write about, but I would have to sit and think about what. So on that note (B Flat) I am going to end this for the day with a funny.

 - I used to say "Have a wonderful day!" to everyone I met or interacted with. But now I decided to change it to "Have the day you deserve!". Let Karma sort that stuff out.

PeacE

Only The Gray Ones ...

 ... are the ones I want to get cut. That means a full haircut these days. I have an IOP session this morning, then nothing until evening time for a House Comm. meeting. I did get the Agenda done on Sunday and sent out. Then yesterday, the Chair sends an email out of two more items to be discussed. Seems some calls came in yesterday (after I sent the Agenda). Sigh. I didn't revise. It's all new business so I will just add to the Minutes as such.

IOP - we are down to one week left. The 9th is my last session, and I 'graduate'. Once I get the letter and certificate, I will forward on to Mayo Clinic, and have them review things to be sure all the items that were deferred before are completed. The ones under my control, I have marked off my copy of the list (8-week IOP, AA meetings, vaccinations). The vaccinations they said could actually be done while I am on the waiting list, and I probably should get the meningitis done, but the couple Walgreens near me are out of it, and so is my PCP's office. I am mixed about completing this IOP. I actually have learned quite a bit that has helped me change my outlook on Life, and how to be more self-aware. But I don't want to pay more money to extend the time. Besides, I don't think there is much more they cover that hasn't been done this past 7 weeks.

I am getting a haircut today. I have been saying that for a week now, but when I have the time to do it, I forget to go. I don't schedule my haircuts at a salon, but just use Great Clips services. I plan to do it this afternoon.

I have been having a toothache off and on for the past couple months - since the last appointment I had with the dentist. It isn't his fault. He had me start using a water pik, and I think it did so well, that when I use it between certain teeth, it found the sore spot. So it will flare up for several hours to a day, then fade away for multiple days at a time - always when I need to schedule the deep cleaning he wants to do, and a couple extractions - the one that hurts was a later on down the line one. I had been waiting to hear about the disability getting approved so I can pay for the work being done, and now it is here, I need to get things scheduled. The dentist has some unconventional hours, and are not open until Wednesday (they are open on Saturdays though), so that will be a call first thing tomorrow.

Welp, I guess that's all I have today. I need to call and cancel my paracentesis that is scheduled for Wednesday, and move it to the end of June to keep my "rolling appointment" until I need it.

PeacE

The Morning Went Where?

 This morning went by pretty fast. Of course sleeping in does that. Two or three nights ago I was up most of the night ( I Think I mentioned it earlier) and for at the past couple days I have been trying to make up for some of that sleeplessness. Last night was the night evidently, as I slept through until about 9:30 this morning. I woke at one point and turned off the alarm (7am) and dozed back off, evidently. Spent some cuddle-time with the Wife, and was able to go attend a Zoom meeting with my AA home group.

It's into the early afternoon now, and I suppose we should figure out what to have for lunch. I did snack a little on some pickle de Gallo I picked up yesterday. That stuff is soooo good! Really now big plans today. I friend is having a birthday party, but I don't much feel like going as now. I am not even sure I want to head to the Post for the afternoon/evening.

No major plans this week. Friday I am having another MRI of my abdomen completed. It's at 5:45pm, so will have to deal with rush hour traffic to Mayo, but most of it should be done by the time I am done (probably about an hour). I have a Zoom meeting with the Mayo psychologist on my team. It may last an hour on Wednesday. IOP for the regular three days, and the two Zooms with the counselor and my team lead. This is my last full week of IOP, as I finish the program on the 9th. That's 11 hours extra each week I will regain. Now, how to productively use that...

With IOP finished, and the MRI, that should clear all the deferments that Mayo required me to complete prior to a decision if I make the list. so in about 2-3 weeks, my case should be going to the Council for a decision. I know many have been praying for good health and recovery for me, so as to hopefully NOT have the transplant. I have mixed feelings about that. I think it would be great if I had some healing, but at the same time, I want the transplant (and other related things with it) versus a healing. I don't know. It's a weird thing. I figured see if I make the list, and if I don't, just roll with the punches and the changes to my regime.

And that is all I have for you today. Tomorrow will be iffy about getting a post from me ...

PeacE

Some Time With the Youngest ...

 'Friday is going to be a rather slow day,' I thought to myself this past Wednesday. The only item on my calendar was my 3 hour IOP session (9-12). So, I saw I am pretty well out of snack foods I keep here by the desk in my "Ralph's Snack Basket". The basket I got something like two or three Christmas' past from RM and it was full of snack stuff. The basket is great as it is big enough to hold quite a few snacks (depending on amount/size). So, I asked the Youngest if he would want to go with me on Friday, after my session, to Discount Grocery. I know he is out of soda and snacks as well. I verified with him again yesterday, and he is still going with me. I even threw in that we could grab some fast food somewhere while we are out, for lunch.

So I have some running to do. Walgreens for a prescription, car wash as some bird tagged my hood in a large spread that goes across the hood. And it needs vacuumed. Then Discount Grocery. I am running through the food ads to see if we need to run by some groceries we normally do not use for any special pricing on something we could use. Then back home. I'll be tired by then, from all the walking, so will probably call time out of the house over, and play on the computer (after groceries are put away).

I still need to get a haircut. I'm sitting down this morning and will determine who is getting paid how much, and I can get most medical bills paid off, or to a way lower figure due, with the backpay I received. 

Didn't sleep much last night. By 1:30 I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep soon. I was having some toothache pain keeping me up. So I went into the office and watched reels and some surfing the web, until about 5am, then laid down again. I did get about a two hour nap before the alarm went off. Maybe there is a nap after the shopping this afternoon...

Alrighty then. I think I bored you enough for one day. See ya tomorrow!

PeacE

Sorry, Not Sorry ...

Obviously I never made it back to finish the post yesterday. I did go in for the paracentesis and  liters were drained. I had a Zoom meeting scheduled for 2pm with my Group Lead of my IOP - a personal session each week to see how I am doing overall with everything. We had agree to move it to noon, so I was a bit rushed getting home in time. Things took longer at the hospital because of the amount drained, I had to receive an extra dose of albumin I had not time-factored into the day (about - minutes). So I made my meeting with about 10 minutes to spare.

Tuesday was such a great day for me. Dropped the car off to have the safety recall fixed on it. Something about a sensor in the passenger seat that improperly detects someone sitting there or not when an airbag is deployed. While that was being done, RM picked me up and we went back to her place. I set up my laptop and did my 3-hour IOP, then RM and I went to get my vehicle, followed up with lunch at Red Robin.

All I can say is ... wow. We ended sitting there and chatting after lunch until nearly 3:30pm, and it was such a great conversation! I felt I shared too much about things going on in my life, but I felt I needed to. I usually keep things so close to my chest until after, and on my way home, I realized that RM had also opened up and shared a lot with me about how things are in her life. I don't think we have been so open with each other before and shared so much. It was ... just fantastic! Oh, and the endless side salads were good, too. RM sent me home with a pint of her salsa for the Youngest (which only has about a third in it now) and had even made a quart of chunky for me (which is now gone).

I arrived home and saw that mail had come so I grabbed it. On top of everything is a check. You know how you can tell a Government check - their style of check peeking behind my address. I got excited! I rushed back to mt desk, and the second piece of mail was from SS Disability. I opened that one first to find I have been approved! The check that had come, well, it was for "backpay" from March to current. So an unexpected bonus ... and the amount I am to receive each month is higher than I was at least hoping for! So now I have some income coming in to help with all the medical. I hope to have all my balances current and at/near a zero balance in the next few months. At least right now I can address the ones that are overdue.

That evening, since I had no meetings at the VFW this Tuesday, I attended my TG group, and had a good discussion on 'Have you ever felt in control enough that you didn't need AA'. When my turn came up, I shared that I could NOT do it without AA. Though I went 5 months sober without any additional learning of the program, or the IOP, but I don't think I could stand here and honestly say I could have relapsed at anytime, and now that I am in the program, just the support keeps me going, let alone working on the steps.

Tuesday was awesome! So yesterday, I was in very good spirits when I had my one on one, and shared why. There's a nice big chunk of mental stress and worry off my mind now that the disability is coming in.

Today? Hmmmm. I have my IOP this morning, and nothing planned for the day. I may go get my hair cut, as the sides and back are getting shaggy. I know tomorrow after IOP the Youngest and I are headed to Discount Grocery to get drink, snacks, and any other good deals we find. No major weekend plans. We were invited to a "pool party" for one of the Post members who I consider a good acquaintance, but have not decided if I will go. I am sure the Wife won't go, but I am going to try to get her mind changed, at least to go for a little bit. I want her around more of the people I know and like/trust. Saga to be continued....

And with that, I need to get on with my day. My numbers are good this morning, and I am feeling better with the abdominal pressure off. I think I'll have some tuna salad for lunch today.

PeacE