Thursday, March 27

Elusive in the Night

It's been a long 30 minutes since I was awoken this morning. The first thing to hear upon waking, is not the sound of the Wife berating her self, because she had either hit snooze too many times, or just plain slept through the alarm.Of course, the oldest had early hour, so now we had to rush to get him up and moving, then drive him to school. He was only about 5 minutes late overall.

I feel like crawling back into bed this morning. I went to bed about 10'ish last night. I felt just worn out. Driving the truck in the gusting winds we had yesterday was so tiring. Today my shoulders and upper back are a bit sore still. But feeling physically tired doesn't always get one to go to sleep when we should. I ended up reading until shortly after midnight, tried to sleep, ended up tossing and turning for a couple hours or more. Once I finally did fall asleep, I woke several times through the early hours but not that last hour before the Wife woke me. Tired and sore. That's me today.

Nothing else seems to jump out at me right now.


Tuesday, March 25

How Long is Too Long?

Let's talk about that Malaysian Flight 370. I guess yesterday, Malaysian politicians declared in a basic statement that they texted (another story) to the families of the passengers, that the airline is being considered crashed in the Indian Ocean and that there are no survivors. I am just paraphrasing. No one is saying that any piece of the plane has been found, and verified it was from the craft. No bodies have been found. Absolutely nothing has been found. It's almost like an archeology hunt. Hey, we need money and materials because we think this might be here. Australia has basically called off the air search today, mostly due to inclement weather, though I wonder how long they will continue looking. The other countries involved? How long will they continue?

I feel for the families. To have a loved one die in a crash while traveling abroad, or to home, or to wherever, sucks big time. But when they can't tell you what happened, and it becomes an extended missing persons search, plus a search for "What Happened?" These people need closure. Find some plane wreckage from that flight, that is able to be verified it is from that craft. A suitcase with flight info. At this point, a floating body with ID on it would be good.

I thought I herd something the other day, that the airline's policy is to pay something like $100,000-$150,000 per person, in the event of a crash. Will they pay that out since it hasn't been proven to be a crash yet? How many families will sue the airline? Do they have a case to do so? Will this drive the major airline for that region to bankrupt? How does that affect me? Yeah ... just some thoughts.

That being said, welcome to Tuesday. I declare today as "At least it ain't Monday" and have a good one.


Monday, March 24

Sleepless Night

I am tired this morning. Though I went to bed at a decent hour last night, I did not sleep well. For some reason, I kept waking seemingly every hour, then in the early morning hours, my leg started cramping. Not a fun way to be woken up, for sure. Now after having been up a good half hour, the leg cramping has seemingly stopped, and doesn't appear to be wanting to return. I want to lay back down and see about a couple more hours of sleep, but I feel I have too many other things that need to get taken care of.

Saturday night I spent the evening over at a friend's house. We kicked it in the back yard around a fire pit, having a few beers, and talking about anything that came to mind. My friend had grilled some steaks, plus we had potatoes and a salad. Was a great time being to catch up somewhat.

Sunday was softball. My buddies and I were to meet up early that morning. One made it, the other didn't. Then the one went home (even though he was the coach of the softball team). He said he passed off the responsibility this week to another. I ended up at the park, and then back at the bar, too, afterwards.

What's this week got in store? I have no clue. I did get a raise last week at the job. That was nice. Kids are back to school after spring break. So this morning returned to the routine. Guess I should eat some breakfast, and figure out the day.


Friday, March 21

14 Days ... and ... ?

Listening to talk radio, I was informed today is 14 days since that Malaysian flight 370 went missing. That now ties the longest period in searching for lost commercial flights. It was mentioned, I think the flight a few years back near Korea had taken 14 days to locate. Yesterday's news brought us to two objects located approximately 2300 KM SW of the Australian coast, but inclement weather has delayed getting planes there to search the area, and lowered visibility. I haven't read anything new as of this morning.

I still think the "MILLENIUM" idea is a possibility.

In other news, not much is going on. Fridays are always pretty happy days for me, ending my work week, and allowing me a couple days to rest up my body to put it through the rigors of work again next week. Still having a few issues with tendon/joint pain in my thumb (since the start of the year) and now my elbow (of same arm). They are not as bad, but tend to get achy by this time of the week. Both seem to be mending slowly, but at least mending.

Well, I am going to kick back a bit before heading to work. Enjoy some of what I am listening to.


Wednesday, March 19

Going For A Quickie

Not much time to jot about anything today. I slept in this morning. Well, truth be told, I was recovering from drinking too much last night. I also got cookies from the RM. I know! Bonus!

Still trying to gather my thoughts this morning; wiping the cobwebs from the corners of my mind.

Wish it was Saturday morning, so I could climb back into bed.

Okay. Enough for now.


Tuesday, March 18

It's Missing, Not Lost

I think it has been about 11 days now since the Boeing 777 Malaysian flight has gone missing. I had to look up the difference between the words 'missing' and 'lost'. They are almost identical. Missing uses lost in its definition, and lost returns the favor. At least where I looked it up. I would cut and paste to here, but the font type, etc. messed things up. Since the day this airline disappeared, I have heard quite a number of theories as to what happened on the news talk radio I listen to on my ride to/for work. The Wife and I spoke briefly about it like back on day two.

"Hun. I know what happened to that Malaysian flight that has gone missing."

"You do? What do you think happened to it?" She got this incredulous look in her eyes.

"MILLENIUM," I tell her. Her interested eyes turn somewhat blank while looking at me. "You know, the movie with Kris Kristofferson." The blank look remains in place. "You know, the one where people from the future come back in time, to save people on flights they know (because they are from the future) that are going to crash, or blow-up, or whatever."

The look of blankness disappears from her eyes, and they roll upwards as she turns her head away. She displays that short side-to-side head shake she has, you know the one when she is saying in her head 'Ralph, Ralph, Ralph' and then saying a quick prayer that no one else had to hear my foolish idea.

"It could be," I say.

Fast forward to yesterday, and even the radio announcers are throwing out the 'Who Knows? It could be aliens' theory to the radio listeners. I think they do it out of jest more than anything, but who knows? There is even a cyber-hacker theory going around. Some sources have verified that some planes could be hijacked electronically, though to have the know-how and equipment to do it make it seem much more far-fetched than alien abduction.

Another theory is that it has been hijacked by some group, and is safely landed somewhere - be it an island, remote are. But the probability is slim. The strip needed to land a big craft like that ... one that governments don't know about, or secretly built, blah blah blah. I don't know.

I think they keep using the word missing over the word lost, because if it is missing, it can be found. Lost is more ... permanently gone. Irretrievable.

Personally, I am still for the "MILLENIUM" theory.


Saturday, March 15

Going Stir Crazy

Hello Saturday morning. It has been a weird one so far.

A couple weeks back, I had made plans to be up in Laughlin, NV, this weekend with my buddies. A men's trip, so to speak. At the time, I found out that the oldest son was going to be going to Cali, something to do with the theater class trip thingy. So that left the Wife and two younger boys at home. I guess the Wife invited the Daughter up this weekend, and they would all do something. Things happened, and my plans fell through. I obviously did not make it to Laughlin. The oldest son still went to Cali.

Last night when I got home from work, the Wife mentioned that the Daughter was due in town about such-&-such time. I asked why was she coming, blah, blah, blah.... see above. I asked what we're they thinking of doing (meaning, if it is fun, I want to go, too). Wife says they had not decided and had a few ideas, however, Luke AFB was having an air show today. Yeah, that is what they decided to do. No thank you. This guy is not interested.

So, they left at a decent hour this morning to get out there, park, and get seating. I watched "VIKINGS" and "THE CONJURING". Now I am bored.

Thought about heading up to the pub. But I need to make sure my buddy is working for tonight. If he isn't, I need to work. Can't just get off the bar stool and work. Then I thought, well, just go to a different bar. But no where really sounds appealing at the moment. Go to the movies. Nothing good showing. Go shopping. I hate crowds. Read a book. My Kindle is currently plugged in and charging.

Sigh. This sucks.


Friday, March 14

Fighting With Work

I had commented last night on Facebook about how Work and I had "had it out" and I lost because I was beat. I sure feel it today. I think Monday started it all when I had to lift a heavier than normal part. I believe I strained either the muscles or tendons in my arm. Either way, each night my right arm is just achy from all the lifting, etc during the day. Even the elbow is starting to feel like it has a bit of tendinitis. I'll pop a couple ibuprofen before work to see if that helps.

Preacher Tom and I are heading out for breakfast today. Seems I finally talked him into trying someplace different than the regular places we go. It seems it is usually Dennys, or Fast Eddies, or an occasional Mimi's Cafe that we go to. Today it is a place called US Egg. Sounds like an omelet place to me, which is fine.

Oldest son is gone to Cali today for the weekend. The school theater/drama/techs are doing a thing over there, followed with a day at Disneyland. It might be a good weekend, with just the two younger ones in the house. I might get used to it. There will be less sibling fighting going on, that's for sure.

Alright, I need to get headed to breakfast....


Tuesday, March 11

Well, That Didn't Last Long ...

I made it smoke-free until about 2pm yesterday. In other words, about 5 hours. Not that good of a start. I wonder why I even bother, then remember, oh yeah, for the kids; for my health; for God and Country! Well, maybe not the last three. I know I should quit, but it is not high on my priority list. In fact, some days I have no clue what my priorities are, or what order they should be in.

Feeling a bit worn out today. By then end of last night's route, I was hurting a bit. I strained the muscles/tendons in my right arm at some point, and by the time I was home, it was aching pretty good. I hot shower and an application of Solstice rub helped. This morning the arm is not near as sore as I feared it would be, so it must have just been a light strain. Hopefully will not aggravate it today.

For some reason, I have a lot of thoughts running through my head today, but can't seem to focus on any. Between things that need to be done, would like to be done, work-related issues, upcoming events, et cetera, I'm just lost. Maybe I need to go back to bed for a bit before work. Sure sounds like an idea, but I doubt I will get the chance. Here's to coffee making it all sort itself out.


Monday, March 10

Starting to Quit ... Again

What a weekend. Had a few good times. Saturday I spent the better part of the afternoon at a Celebration of Life for a friend that had passed a few short weeks ago. Many friends that I have not seen in years were there. Of course, I had a couple drinks too many. I followed up that afternoon taking the family, with RM, PT and the MIL along to Texas Roadhouse. Sunday I slept in, but still made it up to the park for the team's second game of softball, then hung out a couple hours with my buddy Don back at the pub. Don is going to be a grandpas here within the next week sometime, his first, and also going in for a lump removal on the side of his neck. It has me a bit worried, so I am sure how he feels.

Last night, the youngest was sitting on my lap, and we were watching "Man of Steel" the newest Superman movie. I paused it because I wanted to take a smoke break. He asked me the innocent question, "Dad, why do you have to smoke?" I didn't have an answer. So, today I am going to try to quit again. I have one cigarette left in the pack, and will probably smoke it here shortly, then I am out, with no plans to buy more. Will have to see how that goes.

It is a Monday morning, and the return to work comes today as well. This morning I need to run my work truck through emissions. Thankfully it is only just 'up the street' from the house, and I don't have to go way out the way to get there.


Friday, March 7

Mixed Feelings

Most Friday mornings brings on a few mixed feelings. The first is usually a bit of happiness, because it is Friday, which happens to be the last day of work before the weekend, which I have off. Then I sit up on the edge of the bed, and start to get up. The joints snap, crackle, and pop as I get up on my feet, making me wonder why I do the job I do. I start feeling like I am not cut out for this type of job. The daily physical requirements just make me ache and feel sore by this time every week. I know I am not some twenty-something, able to do manual labor all day, all week long. By the time Monday rolls around, I am not as achy, and we start this whole process over.

Half the time, while I am feeling like I can't do the job anymore, I start wondering how far I see myself doing this work. If I were to quit, or find a "better" job, how would that be. Then the pessimism comes up - what if I messed up on something bad enough or enough times that they fire me. What will I do? Finally I just tell myself to get over it, get through today, and we'll deal with the rest later. Then I go pee. Yeah. That whole 30 minute argument happens in my head in the 20 seconds it takes to get to the bathroom.

Indecisiveness? Insecurity? Maybe a bit of both? I don't know. Everything would be much simpler if I had a job I really loved. Don't get me wrong. I like my job. It is "okay". I don't want to do it forever. I don't think I am physically able to do it forever. I force myself not to daydream at times, about having a dream job. I don't even know what I would consider a dream job. Sometimes on my route, I see the bill board ads for the Lotto or Powerball lotteries. I think, what would I do if I were to win. Of course, I don't play. Maybe I should start. I chastise myself when I catch myself fantasizing about what things I would like to do. Waste of time.

I'm sure some docs would argue it is healthy to fantasize somewhat, but why depress myself more? Instead, I'll just think about it being Saturday tomorrow ...


Tuesday, March 4

Beating Myself Up

Last night, after getting about halfway through my route, I realized I had messed up. For one of the techs, I had loaded the parts he was to receive, but I grabbed the wrong tech's paperwork (parts tickets and the route list of calls they are to do the next day). Then I started getting that stomach turning and twisting going on. In the end, I got in touch with my boss, explained what happened, and a possible solution (which involved me going early to the shop, and getting the right paperwork, then taking it to the tech) but he said not to worry about it. Of course, I proceeded to worry about my screw up.

I don't know where I picked up the habit of berating myself, internally, when I feel I really messed something up. Every instance I can think of, has always been work related. Maybe I stress about it more, because depending on the mistake, it could cost a person their job, or a much needed pay increase, or consideration for a position. I am not worried about any one of those things at this moment, but maybe that is some work ethic I have instilled in myself.

Needless to say, even though I apologized to my boss for my mistake, and he said not to worry, we would get it fixed in the morning, I still felt like crap. Even after a night's sleep, I feel bad, but there is nothing I can do at this point.

Sometimes, it sucks to be me.


Monday, March 3

So When Do We Get Snow Days?

This weekend, Arizona saw some rain. Some snow even up in the higher elevation areas of the state. This morning has come with a little bit of sun, lighting up the damp ground, and a nice, cool temperature. I would say it is beautiful if I were so inclined. It felt good driving back from the high school, with the window down. I'm actually looking forward to the drive into work today.

Even with Saturday bringing most of the rain, Nascar still took place out at Phoenix International Raceway. And Jr. got second. Woot! I didn't go this year. Instead, I sat at the pub and watched it with a couple friends, and texting another back in NC. Was a fun afternoon.

I think both the older boys have concerts this week (or next?) and unfortunately I will miss them. Sometimes the hours for my job sucks.

Other than that, I can't think of anything else going on. I am sure the Wife will remind me if it pertains to me.