Friday, August 22


I have a lack. A lack of interesting things to post about. A lack of anything to do. I lack the gumption, to do just about anything today. And it is Friday. I should feel motivated, and excited, and quit using "and" so much in a sentence.

Should I give you my opinion about ISIS/ISIL? They suck. They had a journalist that they could have used to write up little blurbs about them, and how they are so good for the world ... but no. They behead him. I haven't seen the video. I truly have no desire to to after hearing about it constantly on the radio the past few days. I have come to the conclusion, if you claim to be a member of this organization (not a religion) then you are just dumb, and deserve to be dead meat. A bunch of worthless scum just terrorizing the weak. Below the level in which I place Hitler, even.

Now I am a bit angry. I knew I shouldn't have started in on that subject.


Wednesday, August 20

What To Do

Rain visited the state of Arizona yesterday. Actually, a few times. Though our yearly rainfall levels are lower than usual, and we could really use the rain to replenish the waters, yesterday's donation was a bit extreme. Like most desert areas, when a deluge of rain hits, the ground can't soak it up, and then we have run-off, that becomes floods, that cause crazy unexpected rivers in normally dry gulches and washes. Via the radio, I heard of several water rescues, of people from their houses due to fast rising waters. We're talking rescues from their roofs. As I crossed a couple of riverbeds that are normally dry as a bone, I was a bit amazed at the amount of water that was raging through them. Yes, that much water. At least I had most of my route done before I actually got rained on.

Today, I can already feel the humidity, and I haven't even gotten outside yet. I seem to recall the radio saying that we could expect more showers today, though, I don't think they will be as bad as yesterday. Doesn't matter. With the humidity, I will already be miserable.


Monday, August 18

Time to Adjust

It's been a week since the boys started back to school. I know I am still adjusting to getting up an hour earlier than normal. I think my main question is: How do I adjust? To waking up, running the oldest boy to school, then returning home and to bed for an hour? Or staying awake, hopefully making a post (if I am coherent enough to log on)? Probably four of the five days last week, I stayed awake once running the boy to school. Did it help any?

I got done with my "daily internet surfing" earlier. I watched an extra episode of "Scrubs" (my Netflix television series I am working through right now). I usually ended up leaving for work earlier than I needed to, thus arriving early, and sitting there to wait the time to be closer to the required, so I don't load up on overtime, plus spend extra time waiting around each afternoon before I can leave on my route. Maybe this week I should return to bed each morning, and set the alarm for an hour or two later. See how things go then ....

The Daughter came into town this weekend. She has a dental appointment today I guess - the whole purpose for her trip up this weekend. I heard (after the fact) that she, the Wife, the MIL, and her future MIL all went shopping/looking Saturday afternoon for her wedding dress. Joy. I know she has a date set like in May of 2015. All I can say is June 2015 can't get here soon enough. I'm already tired of this wedding, even if it is my only daughter. I keep wondering how much the Wife is going to spend on it too.... sigh. I hope I am just a worrywart.


Monday, August 11

It Was Here A Second Ago ....

We had pizza for dinner last night from Little Caesar's, and for something a little different, I ordered one of the a supreme (with olives, peppers, etc) rather than just the usual 3-meat type. I think it is a dollar or two more, but that is beside the point - I wanted something the Wife and I enjoy, instead of just what we know the boys will eat. For some reason, they don't care for veggies on their pizza. Well, I don't know if it was just me, or if something was up with some of those veggies, but I had some pretty weird dream sequences last night. Many of them. It seemed I was waking about every half hour, so this morning finds me a bit tired still. Though, as I sat down to do my post today, every idea I had just disappeared ... like the dreams I was having last night. nothing remembered, just the scent that it was there, and how it felt. Of course, in that dream-like state, the ideas for a post were some of the best I ever had ... you know how it is.

So, I really don't have much to replace those great post ideas. I could discuss all the crap going on in
 the world: the Ukraine, Hammas and Israel, Iraq. Yeah, just what we need ... more wars. Border Security? Arizona Elections? Which reminds me I still need to get my early ballot in. Sigh. I probably will do that tonight.

The Boys have started school today, and I have already dropped the oldest off. He has that wonderful early band schedule (sigh). The middle son is starting Junior high, and the youngest returns to his school, though going into the 3rd grade.

Saturday evening we spent at the buffet. Reverend Mother likes to get the family together on her birthday and pay for everyone's meal. I think she does the paying as it ensures them that there is no financial strain, thus should be able to attend ... but that is just my thought. She won't let us offer to pay, and argued with me briefly when I said we were at least helping with the tip. Aside from that, it was a fine time. The kids got to see some of their cousins they hadn't seen for awhile. Sis and I caught up on miscellaneous talk. Stuman couldn't make it (OCS school back East somewhere) but his wife and kids were there. I ate too much.

Guess that's about all I got this morning. Should get off here to get something done before going to work.


Thursday, August 7

Yet Another Milepost

Today, my middle son turns 12 years old. Monday, he will start Jr. High. This morning, he is currently wasting his time playing some game on the computer, here in the room near me. All I can hear are the sounds of gunshots.

I don't remember many specific details of when Nathan came into the world. Well, actually, I can remember it was at Phoenix Baptist hospital, and it was late. The labor ward did not have a room available until just before 11pm, if I remember correctly. Late enough, that we had no time to plan/arrange for the other two kids to be watched/stay over night somewhere. We didn't want them in the room (thought it may be a bit too graphic for them) so they spent most of the night in a waiting room, just outside of the labor ward. I would go out and check on them every 30 minutes or so. One incident happened, but I won't share as it could be embarrassing for those involved (not me).

I remember all the time The Wife and I thought about the name for this second son. We wanted (or maybe it was more me than her) something strong sounding, that had some meaning, yet, would not be from either side of our families. We settled on Nathan, which was the name of an angel, sounded good. His middle name is Michael, another angel name, and common enough to not necessarily be attributed to anyone in particular. We both have Michaels in our families. The Wife had a cousin killed around the time we were dating named Michael. I have an Uncle Mike (a couple actually), but Uncle Lil Mike gets the nod on the name. Sorry Uncle Big Mike.

Twelve years sure has gone by fast.

Yup... He's turning into quite the young man.


Tuesday, August 5

I hit a bad place tonight. No clue what brought it on.

I finished out my work day ... it was a bit longer than usual, but nothing overly bad. Got home a bit later than the "usual". It is Monday, and though not a night I go hang out, I felt the need to get out from the house. Didn't call the buddies ... just headed to the pub to have a couple, read my Kindle ... relax a couple hours.

I was reading THE DARK DEFILES, by Richard Morgan. Third book in his series A LAND FIT FOR HEROES. I got an ARC (Advanced Readers Copy) through Maybe that is why my mind took a little walk on the weird side. I say that, for those that might have read any of the series ...

I came home. I have seemingly half a million thoughts of things that need to get done, people that need to be seen/talked to, and let us not get started on what needs to be done to get the boys ready for school. Oh, and yeah, I was a bit inebriated. Not as much as I wanted, because I left the last two drinks on the bar, with hardly a sip out of them. There was a calling .... for me to leave them there, so I did. This wasn't the first time.

So I came home, the Wife and I talked a bit. Little bit of this, little bit of that. Turned about 1am, I said, I know you need your sleep....

I put my CPAP on. Normally I fall asleep within minutes, just because ... well, I do. I heard the Wife fall asleep. I could tell. She snores, very lightly, and she won't admit to it, but after 23+ years .... yeah I know. And I laid there, wondering why I wasn't falling asleep.

Then shit started in my mind.

First it was the email I got from my grandparents (on Dad's side) just recently, which I hadn't written back to them since the last one I received about two months ago. They aren't spring chickens, and the guilt started flooding in.

WHAT GUILT?!? Why do I feel guilty? I don't know. I was in that half-asleep/half-awake stage, with my CPAP on, wondering why I have tears flowing from my eyes. And memories. Stuff from when I was younger, but seeing it from my older perspective. What could I have done different, is there something I could have done, if I done that, would this have happened if this was done..... The old second-guess game.

At some point, I stopped, and pretty much came to my senses. How else would I have gotten here, though it has been over an hour since I got out of bed. I didn't have shellfish, but something messed with my head good tonight. No, alcohol usually doesn't do that, in fact, it helps blank most guilt I feel ... though, I think I don't have any. Fuckers deserve what they get.

Retaliation? Could be.

Scared to go to sleep tonight? Yeah. A bit.

Do we all have demons we don't want to face? Maybe. RM would say give it all to God, and if you are true in your belief of Him taking them, He will. That's why RM prays for me so much.

Sometimes, I wish it were so easy to give up. RM, I don't need a speech ....


Monday, August 4

Bring It On!

Last night was the best night of sleep I think I have gotten in pretty much a month. Between waking earlier than I need to be up, and just the regular waking up during the night, it didn't seem to happen as much last night. Thus, I feel more rested than I usually do ... and I didn't wake up until the alarm went off (even if it was actually an hour before I had to be up - the Wife has to be up before me ... at least this last week before school).

Feeling more rested, but yet, my joints are a bit achy. Like most mornings, I am sure that will drop into the background as I get to moving around (and let the ibuprofen go into effect). Mostly feels in my shoulders and ankles today. I know I didn't do anything exerting this past weekend, so maybe it is just the old body trying to fix itself.

I think this morning I shall reward myself with a movie to watch before work. I keep glancing over at the early ballot, but then shudder when I think of reading through the statement pamphlet, plus getting info online. I know it will be needed to be done, but I think I can put it off another day or two.

Other than that, the week is off to a decent start. Should I wait for that "other shoe to drop"?