Thursday, March 29

Wednesday, March 28

Hump Day is Here

Welcome to Wednesday. Late afternoon Wednesday actually. I have been in "hurry up and wait" mode for most of the day, so have not had much chance to post anything. Not that aything exciting is happening.

So, two more days until the anniversary, and I still have not done anything yet. I think it may end up just being dinner out and a card. I thought about doing some shopping for a basket of stuff or something, but that makes me think of the mall, and I hate going there. I do not going places where I know there is going to be a crowd. Including the bar. It must be that whole "personal space" thing that I don't like being jostled or elbowed or whatnot. Of course, depending on who is doing the jostling... know what I mean?

I mentioned yesterday about a period in my life growing up, and Hoosierboy happened to mention another landmark from growing up. Got me to thinking today how nice it would be to get a trip back to Indiana to see some of the places and how they have changed since I last lived there 20 years ago. It's weird when you think that living there growing up was nothing, and after this time in a tremendously larger city, how it would be nice to get back to a smaller town. Put me in a melancholy mood for sure...

Let's see ... we've covered about everything I can think of today. The next two days may be light on posting, but be sure come Monday we will have something to post about. With Golf on Saturday, and a poker party, then softball and the race on Sunday.. surely something will be discussed/seen/overheard that I can share and embarrass the person. Who knows, maybe pictures could be a good thing as well!

Tonight I feel some good drinking going on, and a few chapters to be read from the current book in the car. My friend Ginny has already text messaged me to see if I can "come out and play" after work. Course, that is still like 2+ hours away. Anyways, I am off to do some more work and whatnot. Be good, don't eat your chapstick, and appreciate normal looking dogs.


Tuesday, March 27

Alcohol Quiz

Stolen from Freddie

You scored as vodka. you are vodka. very strong but a def fave amongst the young and old, (and the hardcore alcoholics) you are versitile and can be taken straight up or mixed.





















what alcoholic drink are you (pictures)
created with

kind of different

Here's a little side story for ya...

How many people in the world say that they are NOT finicky eaters? Not picky. Will eat anything and everything. Doesn’t matter as long as it is prepared basically correct, and served at the right temperature it’ll go down the gullet. I used to be one of those. But I started getting picky when I was around 8-9 years old. One of those major life events that changed how I looked at certain foods.

My Dad and Step Mom (SM) got married in 1980. They had dated I am guessing at least half a year, maybe more. I never really cared at that age. Well, Dad had a regular job as a draftsman for Beard Industries. They made grain dryers for farms all around the country. SM had a job working in shipping/receiving at the only Peter Paul/Cadbury plant in the US. Which on a side note was located in Frankfort, IN. Boy, I sure remember the days when she would bring home a box of damaged Powerhouse candy bars … or Easter when they got discount prices on them Cadbury eggs with the crème in the middle. Anyways, I am getting sidetracked.

SM had always done some side business of making/decorating cakes for people. Most of the time it was for friends since she worked full time, but she would make exceptions for other people too. She had had one of them long ass classes from Wilson cake school on decorating and she is a very artistic person to boot. Well, as it goes, we moved into a 2nd floor apartment in Frankfort within a year or two. The 1st floor consisted of 2 empty “stores”. Well, SM and Dad decided to start of a cake decorating and supply shop since Peter Paul had closed and she was out of work. Sure enough they did start one up, and it did moderately well considering. One of the main things of the biz was taking cake orders. For anything. Parties, B-days, Anniversaries, weddings – I mean anything. I even saw her do one for a bachelorette party. So she got a good number of orders throughout the week, and even busier on weekends, and that would vary more with the time of year.

Guess who learned how to bake? Uh Huh. You betcha. From the time I got out of school I would be in charge of baking the cakes. Make sure of correct flavors, sizes of the pans, and then have to make the icing to boot! Gotta know how much for what sized cake, is it supposed to flavored or not. This went on for 2 years, basically until Dad got diagnosed with cancer and they closed the shop.

I learned to hate cake. I learned to throw up at the mere taste of frosting. I don’t even like the smell of it baking. You know how many times in a normal year you are exposed to cake as a dessert? My family still asks if I want any at Bday parties for the kids and always get the “look” from me, like I would puke on them if they came near. But sometimes, you just have to swallow your pride and try not to puke.

I had gone to a poker party last Saturday night, and had Daughter watch the 2 older boys. We arrived back home about 10:30’ish I would say, and of course they were still up. Well, I in the bedroom taking off my shoes when the Daughter comes in. Seems they had made a cake for the Wife’s and mine anniversary. Cake. Worse, chocolate cake, with store bought icing, in 3 different flavors. I about hurled. But, being the parent I am I said how nice it looked and to get it back in the kitchen before she dropped it or something. I can sit here and tell you how my 15-year-old Daughter has known from birth I hate cake, but it didn’t stop her. Or the boys who had helped. God knows I love the thought, but next year, a hug will do just fine.


Too Bad It Only Holds Six

I swear this week is turning into one of those weeks. End of Month is like having all the stupid people in the world on phone duty when you need to verify a quick yes or no, and the only phrase they know is "we'll have to get back to you". That seems to be the phrase today for every phone call I have made. Frustrating as hell when you are trying to get all the stuff done prior to the 31st. It's pure madness!!!!

The Wife has definitely been doing some extra work. She has already lined up people to work on the roof. She has a couple uncles that are coming from out of town and they plan on starting on Saturday with the shingle removal. Being the wonderful person I am , asked what time, and found out a good time to be up and out early. Oh, Honey. That's the day of the golf tournament. Then my buddies are having poker over at their place right after. There's no way I will be home before dark... And Sunday I have to get up early for softball... I know, I sound like a lazy asshole (well, I am) but things just work out right that way. Now I won't be moping around feeling like a dick because I am unable to get up there and help. Pathetic!
I'm gonna get back to doing something else. In fact, I feel a story coming on that I may get posted later this week if I have the time to ink it out and edit - blah, blah, blah. We'll see.

Monday, March 26

End of Month Week begins ... oh man.

For some reason, I am actually glad the weekend is over. Not that I was ready to return to the office for Hell week, but it just seemed a hair too long. Maybe that was just me and the way I was feeling yesterday ... I don't know. Overall it was a nice weekend though. Saturday I set a new record for myself (and the buds) at Golden Tee Golf. I shot a -22 at the Rustic Bridge NY course. Usually the guys and I shoot around -18 and sometimes plus or minus 1. Previously, Smitty and I had -21's as high scores (he had 2 and I had 1). That was a good feeling. That evening the Wife and I (and the baby) went over to a friend's house for a nice small round of Texas Hold'em with some other couples. I ended up taking 2nd place in that (with a nice $40 payout). Sunday I got up and watched our softball team face a defeat against Old Palomino in a scrimmage game. The regular season starts up next week, with a double-header every week. I haven't seen anything major from the new coach as of yet, so I wonder if he is going to do any major changes.... The rest of the day was at the bar watching Nascar. I had Jeff Gordon in the pool , and he took 3rd, so I won $50 more. I'll be heading back up there tonight to collect. After the race I went home and pretty much into bed. I was plenty tired.

I have received some really good ideas from the lady readers regarding my request for anniversary present ideas for my wife. I am thinking of doing like a small basket with some stuff from the bath & lotion shop... something like Love's baby soft (which I know she likes, and I love it on her) and a new loofah, maybe some bath bubble balls thingies, and then make up a couple "coupons" for 2 hour baths where I can take the kids out of the house for a couple hours and she can do the whole relax in the tub thing. I dunno. I have three more days to get an idea and get it done. If anyone wants to pass on any other ideas, please feel free too....

This coming Saturday is a golf tournament I am playing in. I called the step dad up and asked him to be my partner. We had partnered up in the last tournament and won what I call the Boobie prize for last place. I figured we could do it again this week. Maybe get a bag of reclaimed balls or something. Either way it is a chance for me to get out and hit some. I maybe get to play about 4 times a year, and y play shows it. How bad you ask? Let's put it this way. I have only shot under 100 one time. Wait, it gets worse. Last time I played golf, it was a small 18 hole course, I birdied Hole 1 (par 3) and STILL shot a 105 (course par is 60). Pitiful, pathetic, down-right sucking. I need to get out and practice more.

Not much is crossing my mind right now, except some of the work I supposedly should get done. Only a few hours more til beer-thirty, and I am looking forward to it tonight!


Friday, March 23

Rain in Arizona

This is a topic not many write about. I mean, our rain schedule here is obviously different than most places of the US due to the desert climate in the Valley, and the moutainous regions around the rest of the state. True, there are many people that love the weather here as they can travel basically an hour in any direction and get a different season. We have our "spring showers" early in the year, and monsoons in the late summer - at least in the valley area. Who doesn't love to watch a lightning show across the desert areas of the outer valley? I love a good lightning show! What I haven't like lately, is the recent rain we had yesterday.

I walked in the house last night, the kids playing "Place the Bowl" in the family room. Yes, it seems my roof has sprung a leak. I am hoping it is just A leak and not leaks. Now I have to find a roofer and have the roof done. This is something we have been hoping to put off just a bit longer, but now has come inevitable. Then we will have to re-insulate and replace the ceiling int he family room. This after the hallway pipe burst of not too long ago. Sigh. Seems I can't win for nothing. This old house is just starting to go to pieces. The Wife and I even brought up the discussion of moving, but we just have not found a right place yet. Besides, we would have to fix this place up to resale.

Well, next Friday is the 16th anniversary of the Ralphd00d couple. Seems hard to believe we have been together for 18 years, let alone married for 16 of them. We have the four lovely, adorable children (daughter 15, son 8, son 4, and son 1), a house that is falling apart, and 60 pounds I need to lose from all those years of good cooking. Since the unfortunate timing of the roof leak, it seems funds are going to be a little less "available" for anything really special for me to do/get for the Wife. Anyone out there have ideas? I have already thought about the dinner, and movie. Jewelry is out as she doesn't wear much, and I just recently got her some for her birthday. I thought about like some soft "fuzzy" pajamas, but I don't buy clothes in case I get the wrong sizes. Maybe if I just get her a gift card with enough money on it to go get some pajamas, or something. Would that be too tacky?

Normally, most years we do not exchange gifts for our birthdays, or holidays, or our anniversary, but I figure with the way our year has started out, it would be a nice thing amidst the other miscellaneous problems we are experiencing (damn house). What do you women think? What about you guys?

Let me know...


Thursday, March 22

Holes-n-All and other thigns I picked up.

One of the blogs I LOVE to read is Freddie, who is celebrating her Blogiversary. She mentions in her post about the "holes in life" and sometimes what could be something she never knew, could be so important. I like her example of thank you and Christmas cards.

Anyways, so as I look back mentally ( I am almost scared to go back and read some of them) through the posts I did for public, or proviate, that ended up public anyways... There are alot of holes. I think most of them are probably alcohol induced in my particular case, but there are holes I can see that I can't explain.

So what am I getting at? I dunno. Just some revelation that occurred to me from reading someone else's writing. Kinda weird....


Wednesday, March 21

"If I Could Turn Back Time" - Cher

Yes. A song for your daily travel. One that I in particular really don't care to remark about. After all, Cher did a good job on it, and all those wanna-bees in karaoke sing it too often. Wasn't this the one she did the video off of one of our Navy ships? Lame.

But it brings to mind a few things. I think more on the "lame" terms, is what has brought this to mind. Let's look at lame. I am doing this without opening another window in IE, so bear with me....

My good buddy Jan. Yes, he is almost happy about FINALLY getting mentioned in my blog, but tonight, as he knows, I told him it wasn't a good thing. However, tonight, we are going to do a comparison, and no matter what, this is only a male-to-male compare. At no time are we asking for wife(wives) or other input. Between he & I, he agreed to let me post this STRICTLY from my viewpoint. So - of all our friends that read this, take that to heart, because your turn may be next!

I am doing the regular after the work day beer at the bar, and of course a few of the friends are there, Jan being one of them (friends at the bar, not just one of them dumbass drinkers - needed to clarify that). There were several of us, and we began to talk about the OTL that is to happen this summer. For those of you that don't know about OTL, I will try to post a link later for the story(s) from last year.

Anyways, we were talking about majority of us flying, maybe a couple guys were thinking of driving, and how that could be advantageous for us for the bats/coolers/etc. Bottom line came up about 8:30, when Jan says "I need to be home by 9:00."

SCREEEEEEEECH!!!! My mental brakes - man they must need a re-padding. Jan. NEED TO BE HOME. I looked at this man. I ignored the gray/grey in the beard. I ignored the possible amounts of hair loss from the crown. And then I asked, "Home by 9?!? Doesn't your wife work overnight until like 6?"

"Yes. But I told her I would be home by ten. I tell you nine, so I have the half hour leeway to get home."

At this point I am shaking my head. I am dumbfounded. This man, my friend Jan, is now on his 4th marriage. Just got hitched last November (note: right before he paid for the wife to go on a 3 week trip to Florida, to see her first grandchild, whilst staying with her 1st ex-husband). Now having his wife's 2nd daughter leaving in their home, with a newborn (don't ask, long story) and he is telling me, he has to be home by 10 or he will be in trouble. I am still in shock/awe of what he is telling me, as he walks out the door from the bar.

Before he completely got me to silence, I distinctly heard "PW'ed" and the whip sound from my mouth. Nothing but a grimace from Jan.

He left. Supposedly in time to be home to call his wife and say "Yes dear, it's the bedtime you gave me, and I am here." I have no clue if this is what was really happening, but Jan, 4th marriage, you'd think he would learn something other than lay down like a dog and do nothing but obey. Well, one would hope so. He has lost several 'man-points' with me.

Men. A good topic I probably shouldn't be writing about. I like to classify myself into this bunch of testosterone driven members of the human race. I myself have been partnered, nay, married to the primest piece of womanly ass that happened my way. In case she is reading, I renounce that to the more correct, she was willing to lower her standards and found this poor soul acceptable to ideals for future breeding purposes, and anything else that may occur. .

Hmpf! I lost track of what I really was writing about - Jan. He's 50.Been what I would call a good friend of mine for several years. And now, after he is in his 4th marriage, he has a curfew. WTF is that?!? I, my young self, m approaching 16 years (hint: future post) but my wife lays no limit on me. I understand checking in with one another, but to "demand" my presence, at the home, when she is not even going to be there until after 7am..... slice the throat of a goat, draw some runes, have her daughter say a bright light took you in to the sky! What the fuck you gonna do at home at 10:00pm? Watch the news? I know "M*A*S*H*" comes on at 11:30 on TV 10. Gonna watch "Seinfeld" til then? And worry how you are doing something wrong in the marriage?

ARG! If we could be pirates, the wenching of women would be nothing. Somehow, my friend has lost "his way around women" since his last marriage. This one has got the balls to command him, without one question from him.

Jan - I ask you. Are you sure you can do the guy's trip to San Diego, for the OTL. I am treating it thus way: What happens there, stays there. Just like Mexico. But if the wife calls everyday to be sure you are in bed by a certain time.... Lordy, are we gonna have some probs!!

Y'all see what I have to look forward to, from someone - ALMOST able to be my daddy (thank god it weren't in them wrong states... you know 'em and pick 'em) and he don't wanna acknowledge

So, what do ya do when you fly over to San Diego, take the cab to yer room, and the young we brought to raise and mature, start their howling to the moon??!!??

I'll tell you what. Run for your room, and hope I don't bring he baby down.

UPDATE: I need to learn to quit posting after going to the bar....

Tuesday, March 20

Thoughts, Ideas, and Passing Conversations

I overdid it a bit last night I feel. Yes, I, too, opted for the reading, so I went to the bar and read until damn near 1am. I didn't realize how late it had gotten. But my body is telling me today. Not hung-over, just lethargic. Oh well. Shame on me.

1. One of the Managers here in my office comes out on the floor and asks anyone/everyone "What's a dirty Sanchez? Is it a type of cocktail drink, or what?" I just shake my head at the number of people that just sat there and snickered. No one would offer up. Finally someone took her aside and explained it.

2. It's so nice outside, I don't want to be in the office. Temp is in the 80's and the AC in the office is none existent because the female population complain it is too cold all the time.

3. The youngest is doing much better. Still have some bad coughing, and continuing the breathing treatments, but overall more healthy. Now we just need to break the "I need to be cuddled 24/7 like I was in when I was sick. Yep, I am sure some yelling and screaming is coming soon.

4. Allergy season is here in full force - and my nose loves me not. Nothing worse than having to squirt saline up the nostrils so they don't dry out from the medicene to keep from running. Oh, and we won't even talk about eyedrops....

Alright, enough of that already. I am headed off into the innernet to see if I can find anything to amuse me for a couple hours. Y'all have a good one. Go read some of the blogs on the sideboard. Every now and then I put up some good ones.


Monday, March 19

Oh well, let's test our memory

Since I can't find that damn list, I'll just recap somethings of my weekend and see if any of it jogs the memory cells.

Friday the older kids stayed over at Grandma's with their cousins. No. 3 went home with me and we spent the evening with home made salsa and chips, and watched "Bionicle 2" until we both passed out on the couch. Saturday I dropped him off about noon at Grandma's then headed to the hospital. Discharge was in progress but had to wait for the breathing machine. That took forever. I then went out to Jimbo's and then over the Vinnie & Joeys for some karaoke. Sunday we did a scrimmage game against one of the teams on the league. After 9 innings (we usually time limit or 5 innings) we ended up tied with them. Our new couch was trying some different strategies for the upcoming season. I had brought the older boys with me so Wife could rest, so we went home pretty quick. Then I headed out to watch the race. Of course I had Martin in the pool, so I didn't win. I ended up going home about 8 I think it was. I ordered pizza for the family and had a few pieces before I was ready to pass out for the night.

Nope, nothing really got jogged there. There was one moment where Jeff (wow! He was actually at Bullocks on a Sunday!) was trying to wrestle me or something. I wobbled, but wouldn't go down, sort of like a weeble-wobble. That lasted a whole 2-3 minutes. I forget why he was doing that though.

So now it is Monday, and my work day is almost through. I am contemplating returning to Bullocks as they have steak dinner on Mondays, but I am in the mood to read. If I end up there, I may not get the chance to read. Decisions, Decisions. In the meantime, I'll try to find something more interesting... you be good!


Mondays should be forbidden

I am tired. It has been so long since I have had a decent night's sleep. The good news is that my youngest is now home from the hospital. He came home Saturday afternoon, but still has to have breathing treatments every 6-8 hours. He is still congested, and whiny, but slowly doing better.

I had a list of things I was going to write about today, but seem to have misplaced it. Teach me to drink so much and try to keep a list of things going on around me. I'll have to see if I can find it and write more later.


Friday, March 16

Update for Friday

Thanks for all the good words and prayers for my son. I dragged my ass to work early today to help alleviate the overflow caused from myself being at the hospital all day yesterday. I have a few minutes that I can take and update y'all.

Pneumonia. That's what the doc finally came up with. Chest x-rays were clear, but this is what they said. He has been on oxygen, IV for antibiotics, plus to help get some liquid into him. As of this morning, after 2 nights int he hospital, he is actually starting to nurse better, temperature is down, but still is unable to get his oxygen level up enough to send him home. They say once he reaches about 95% they will send him home. This morning after his breathing treatment he was about 88-90%. So it looks like it will be yet another night. The Wife is holding up way better than I at all this. She is the one that is in the hospital with the baby all night and day. I am feeling beat as hell since I have had to adjust my schedule for the other 3 kids, and getting them to school, or to grandma's for the day, and feeding them, and then trying to sleep at night. I am almost a walking zombie today. And I had to get up extra early so I could get some more time in at the office since I am leaving early today to relieve the Wife for a tad. I am sure she would like to get out and stretch.

Another night with the kids. I am so not looking forward to this. They have a couple cousins (their favorites) in town til Saturday, and I know they will not want to leave grandma's until late. Which doesn't fit my schedule and when they should eat dinner. Granted they are on spring break next week, and the next day is Saturday, I just don't want to hear the whining about it is not fair they can't stay the night, or crying because they weren't ready to go home. Drives me instantly to pissed-off mode. Pray for my patience over the next day or two. I hope he comes home tomorrow... I don't think I could do the whole weekend with my kids, and the Wife not being there.

So, no major plans for me this weekend as of right now. As you see above, everything has been set on hold. Hope everyone else has a fun time! I got to run. I will try to update over the weekend if I can get the chance and my blood level is low enough.


Wednesday, March 14

Now I am getting bummed

The Wife just called. Seems she is in the ER with the youngest of my kids. He had been into the Dr's office recently and diagnosed with an ear infection. After 4 kids that is nothing out of the ordinary. The next youngest had been in last week and he has a phlegmy cough plus a nice case of Pinkeye. He has been taking cold medicene and eye drops for the last week. Anyways, back to the youngest, The Wife went to see about getting him into the Dr's today, as the past 2-3 days his temp has spiked upwards of 103.5, and Motrin/Tylenol weren't working as good as they usually do. Doc wasn't in today, but by phone arranged for him to be taken to the ER. There they have drawn blood, found both ears now infected, IV'ed him liquids as he hasn't been drinking enough the last 24 hours, and x-rays. I am sure I am leaving out a few other tests they might have done. The doc there had said they are waiting results from some tests before they move to the next step. It's possible he has come down with pneumonia (as he has had a cough the last few days as well) but they are not sure yet. I let the Wife know to call me with any more important updates, or if they finally figure out what is going on, and let me know what they plan to do. My day is only half way over and now this shit on top of it.

Welp, have a good thought/prayer for my boys unitl I find out more.


Oh my goodness! Check this out!

Dazd sent me on a click-trip over to this site where I damn near wet myself laughing so hard. It is too good NOT to share with you. Click HERE for the story.

And the regular link for that blog is on the side board.


Just when you thought it was real ...

I probably am no longer the wonderful Mr. Nasty I thought I was. I walked into the bar last night, and the first person to jump up and greet me (like that always happens) was the old guy behind the bar the other night that called me nasty. Profusely he apologized, and I thought he was going to try to buy my forgiveness too, from the way he was acting. Seems he apologized to the others that were sitting with me that night. Seems he thought we were talking about another patron of the bar, but he was completely wrong. Amazing how alcohol can confuse you to that degree.... So, I wonder if my new title still fits. I'll have to wait until tonight and see how "nasty" drunk I get I guess.

I received an e-mail from my mother about a week ago or so. Seems my Uncle Larry wants us all to do a 5-7 day Caribbean cruise as a family. We are talking, his family, my sister's family, my brother's family, my 2 cousin's families, Reverend Mother & Step dad, my family, and the possibility of any other relatives want to go. In other words, a floating redneck reunion. I mistakenly read it to mean this year, so whilst talking to the Reverend Mother about it I said we were not going. She is determined to get us to go since she corrected me and said it is for 2008. I still think we are not going. After all, we have to pay our own way to the cruise ship, plus our own package deal (whatever Uncle Larry is able to get), plus spending money. It would be nice to have a week vacation like that, but not necessarily with my kids along. And who wants to be stuck with family for a week? That's why reunions usually only last a day, maybe a weekend long. Yeah, I am jumping for joy about this whole trip. Plus I was told we wouldn't HAVE to be around other family if we didn't want to be. What's the purpose in going on the damn trip then?!? Nope. I cannot see myself going. Floating Redneck Cruise ship Reunion. I would probably laugh at all the pictures they take though. I guess I 'll have to wait a year or so to see them.

Time to get cracking into the desk job. I see I have a few faxes come in that I should take care of. Y'all have a good day and talk at ya later!


Tuesday, March 13

Oh, what the heck ...

I said I wasn't going to do it, but I read this over at Goldbloom's and thought "why not"?

Q. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
A. Geez, Bud. You look like crap.

Q. How much cash do you have on you?
A. $5.00

Q. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
A. bore

Q. Do you label yourself?
A. Only if it has a title of "Studly" or "Manly"

Q. Bright or Dark room?
A. Dark - better to sleep in

Q. Why is there always a missing question?
A. Let's get a beer and philophosize that idea

Q. What does your watch look like?
A. a cell phone

Q. What were you doing at midnight last night?
A. Watching "M*A*S*H*"

Q. Where is your nearest 7-11?
A. Circle K is closer, but 7-11 is about 2 1/2 miles away

Q. What’s a word that you say a lot?
A. A'ight, y'anto

Q. Who told you he/she loved you last?
A. The Wife

Q. Last furry thing you touched?
A. the dog, Spunky

Q. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
A. maybe 1 - not sure

Q. Favorite age you have been so far?
A. 35

Q. Your worst enemy?
A. exercise

Q. What is your current desktop picture?
A. sample pic that came with Windows

Q. What was the last thing you said to someone?
A. That's fine. I'll get to it later.

Q. The last song you listened to?
A. "I think I'll just stay here and drink" - Merle HAggard

Q. What time of day were you born?
A. 10:46 am

Q. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
A. Cuss like a sailor.

Q. Do you consider yourself kind?
A. Majority of the time.

Q. What’s your life’s motto?
A. Well, I will try most things once...

Q. Name three things you have on you at all times
A. keys, wallet, & usually a pocket knife

Q. Can you change the oil on a car?
A. Yes.

Q. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A. 2+ years


My goodness gracious! It has finally happened! After days of hoping it would not, the end result has still come about. Freddie is rubbing off on me. I was all prepared to sit down and capture your attention with pieces of my intellect, my encounters in the world - BUT! I logged in and drew a big, fatty blank. Nope, no slight pencil erase marks. No 'almost grasping' an idea. Straight up blank.

Normally when I get blanked like this I do some stupid personal test, or answer some kind of Meme thingy. But I am getting to the point, if I share more about my inner self, it will scare off the 10 hits a day I get here, and 4 of those actually read something. The others are just here for the Granny midget porn (sorry! no pics!). If I were Eric, I could spend time describing how beautiful it looks in the backyard, except, I am at work, and my backyard looks like a tornado hit it.

Okay, I have sat here staring at the screen for too long now. I have nothing coming to mind. In fact, I keep distracting myself with those inner voices. Definately not going to get anything done that way! Y'all take care, and we'll see ya later.


Monday, March 12

I have been given a "Name"

Wow, what a long weekend. At least it seemed that way to me. I am almost happy to be back at work ... I may regret that phrase later.

Sunday was awesome if not the longest day of the weekend. My day started off at 7:30am when I got up to go to the Church of Holy Beer and Softball. The team was having a practice, and though I don;t play, I hang out, heckle, and drink the beer. Our "new" coach decided he couldn't make it. Seems his son, on his wa down from Colorado, had some car problems, and Dad had o drive up to Utah to meet him and help out. I don't know what all was involved, but I heard somethign about 2 tires being flat - not necessarily at the same time. So after the ball park, it's time for the bar to open so up we go. The Race didn't start until about 1:30 so I had lots of time to kill, and I know I killed many drinks in htat period. Judy had made cookies as she had promised, and DAMN were they good. I was nice and even shared some.

Jimmie Johnson was the driver I had in the pool this week, and I won 1st place! Woo HOO! Then as I was killing what I was hoping to be the last drinks I would be having, and an old guy that helps do some of the dishes behind the bar starts yelling at me and ends up saying someting about how I am "nasty". I am having a good time... hell, I ran with it. I saying "See, I now have been given a name since no one includes me in their rumors, and nobody speaks behind my back, my name now is Mr. Nasty!!!" Yeah, that fun lasted about 5 minutes. I still don't know what I said to piss that guy off, but I wish I could so I could do it again!

I wonder if I should go back there tonight...after all I kow he will be there... Hmmm..... Well, while I think about it, y'all have a good one. Go help Freddie out with her dilemma - give her some good topic to write about.


Friday, March 9

Friday - at last!

What a day today! I have been busy like I have never been since I walked into work this morning. I even worked through lunch! Gosh that is nice to be busy like that again! And my paychecks will start liking it too!

So last night, I decided I was going to get tanked. I was out til about 10:30 and realized I hadn't even caught the regular buzz I have when drinking. Since it wasn't working, I went on home, popped in "Field of Dreams" and then went to bed. Exciting life I lead. I had some freaky-ass dreams though, of supposed relatives and friends of my Dad's that I had never met. Now THAT was weird.

No major plans this weekend. I have a friend making cookies for me, though, so I get to have them on Sunday! She said that they were being made for my buddies as well, and I tried to convince her that they didn't deserve any. I said I would trade them a cookie for a shot on Sunday. Wonder if they'll go for it. Probably not. Oh well, I still get home made cookies.

I'm off to read a few blogs that I haven't had the chance to do for a couple days. Y'all have a good weekend, and I am sure we will be back next week, if not before!!


Thursday, March 8

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today would have been my Dad's 59th birthday - if he was still here. Unfortunately, he passed away in 1985 from a brain tumor. A tumor we later found out was caused (admitted from the US Army) from that wonderful thing they used in Vietnam called Agent Orange. Of course, the Gov't only admitted this 2 years after he had passed, so nothing beneficial came of it.

So I have been slightly depressed all day today. Our access to e-mails and internet were down for 3/4 of the time so I am late even getting this posted. More depression.

I keep thinking how Dad never got to meet my wife, or any of the 4 grandkids from us. Never got to meet his namesake (my oldest boy). How my family never got to meet him. And all I have to share with them is a few pictures, and what stories I can remember. Heck, I was only 13 when he passed away.

So, I have no clue what I am going to do tonight. I should go home, but I feel like getting tanked instead... drown the sorrow. Doesn't do any good, but it enables me to sleep.

At least there is only one more day this week...


Wednesday, March 7

Wednesday funny

Since I have nothing of value to share today, I will put in my favorite joke. I don't think I have done that yet ... and maybe I will think of something interesting to write about.

Here's the joke:

Two morticians were working over a body one day when one turns to the other and says,"You should have been here yesterday."

"Why is that?" the other replies.

"We had a female in here, and her clitoris was like a pickle."

"Really? It was green and bumpy?"

"No. It was sour."

And on that note, whilst you all are laughing your asses off ( I am merely snickering since I am still at work) I got nothing else to say today. It's almost beer thirty!!!


Tuesday, March 6

... and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on...

Yes! It is time for another action-filled post from yours truly, the man of the boring life - ME! Geez, it sounds more exciting when I phrase things that way, huh? Well, I think that is all the excitement I can provide today. I don't even have anything interesting in my life going on to make it even look that way.

Let's talk about employment. Something most of us have to do for a good portion of our adult, or in some cases, legally adult, years. Personally, I love my job. And thankfully over the last 2 weeks it has started to get better. The Newbies are starting to learn what they are supposed to be doing, and work has been coming steadily across my desk the last 2 days. Now if I can get the paychecks doing that, which shoul dbe in the next month or so, life is going to get really good!

Countdown is on in my head for the OTL in San Diego in July!!! I know we are getting airfare monies together here within the next couple of weeks. I'll have to make sure I get the monies in for the Champions Circle for the pass as well. Then I have hte next 3 months to debate if I should use only notebook whilst there, or take along the camera too. Maybe I should get one of those 'man thongs' like Borat wears... Can you just picture me in that, ladies??

Speaking of swimwear, the weather here is getting nice. Supposed to be low 80's all this week. Should be warm enough for swimming about a month from now. Of course, that'll mean the 100+ degree days are not far off either. I am going to enjoy the weather now while it is here. Lunches outside reading... softball practices on Sunday mornings. Maybe even some nice evening at the bar on the patio or something. I dunno. I enjoy this boring stage of my life. Sit back and enjoy it a bit.


Monday, March 5

It's SOO Official Now!!!!

That's right! I have been informed by those nearest and dearest to the nether regions of my gas producer, that I am officially boring. In fact, I think it was worded something along the lines of :

I don't care to read about how many loans you aren't able to close, or fixing your family supper. What happened to the bar fights, and the strippers, and the funny/exciting things you used to do? It's boring to read now.

I felt the strings of my heart being plucked as I was informed of this, from across the beer-loaded table, in the middle of the bar. Alas, I, too, wonder what happened to those exciting moments where every night was not dull, and my friends that have lived their purpose in life can re-live youth and vitality vicariously through the reading here on my blog. Nay, I do not want to disappoint them, and bring the doldrums into their meager existences. Nay, I want the energy of life to ZING! through the veins, as they anxiously await the next chapter of one whose life is never without.

Ach! But it is a cruel, most inhumane world, but I fear those days are not always at hand. Alas, even I, the majestic alcohol partaker, the gentle bear of beer, the killer of kegs, the warder of whiskey must every now and then fall to the slow days of life. Hence, it may be awhile before I can again regale you with stories of the mights and triumphs of my world, or of the laughs and trials of the lesser mortals amongst where I may be.

May life's greater moments seize you though, and I be released from the doldrums in the nearest future. In the span of time to that moment, have a good one, and don't let your friends tell you your farts stink. This one is for you Jan - Pbbbbbbbt! Breathe Deep!


Friday, March 2

Birthday Parties can be interesting...

So I was out at the bar last night. There happened to be a surprise Bday party taking place for one of the regulars named Tanya. She had turned 50 the day before in actuality, but everyone was throwing her a party the day after. Of course I got there after it had all started since my work hours suck, so I sat off at the bar and listened to the laughter and noisemakers going off throughout the early evening. There was a ton of food, but I sure wasn't looking to kill any buzz I got going on.

Later on around 8 or so, the party had pretty much settled down and most people had left. I moved over so there was a group of about 7 of us. One of the ladies, Judy, AKA "Pude", who happened to be a bartender there but was off this night, decided her body was going to have some issues, and was in dire need of a tampon. Yes, I did say it, a tampon. The other two guys in the group offered to run to the store to get some for her, and they left. I got to hear how the "spare box" kept in the office, and she had used it the last time. And someone else would go into a tampon story. I never had noticed how fine a job they had done on the ceiling a few months before....

Finally the guys called Judy, whilst they were in the proper aisle, to make sure they got the right brand/design/function. A few minutes later they showed up. I guess it was Barry's first time he ever had to buy tampons. I think Dan said he had done it once before or something along those lines. Me of course, I am married. I have had to do it several times. So overall it was a very interesting evening, and I had some fun.

Tonight is Friday. I won't be out at all tonight. I told the wife that I would take care of dinner tonight, and that the kids would do the dishes. She had a gripe session last night when I got home, so I figure I gotta do some helping around the house for a few days. Then she will tell me to get out of the way and things will be okay again. Was going to be a slow weekend anyways since softball is over for a few weeks. Though there is a poker party at my sister's Saturday night.... Hmmm. Will have to think about that one.

Alrighty esteemed readers. I best get back to something on my desk. I actually have been working here off and on this morning.


Friday Funny

My wife had e-mailed this one to me, and I thought I would share since I laughed at it. Talk at ya later!


When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.

Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

Thursday, March 1

March - A Month of Madness

Welcome to March. First thing I think about when this month comes along i show does it start weather-wise. Remember being taught that if ti comes in like a lamb (nice weather) it'll go out like a lion (rains/colder/etc). I don't know if it is a wive's tale or not, but I always remember it.
Other things that come up this month: My lil sis's b-day (17th), St Patricks Day(17th) and what would have been my dad's 59th bday (8th).

I think tonight is going to be a rest night. I was out a bit this week, and I am feeling pretty damn tired this morning. Doing my best in trying to stay awake. I catch my self sort of day dreaming, or drooping my head. I don't expect any work to keep me busy til at least afternoon, so I am out of here for now. Need to walkaround to keep from sleeping.