Wednesday, January 31

Joke for the day

I don't remember where I go tthis one from, but I was running through my joke file and got a good snicker out of it again, and thought I would pass it along.

A man drove he and his 12 year old son to the country one Saturday for his son's first deer hunt. The man intended to go to an old farmer who he had know when he was a boy and ask him permission to hunt on his land.

They arrived at the farm just after noon. The boy stayed in the car as the man went up to talk to the old farmer. The old farmer was happy to see the man and was happy to have he and his son hunt on his place.

The old farmer also ask the man to do him a favor. He explained that his mule, which was standing out in front of the house, was very old and would never make it through the coming winter. He ask the man if he would please shoot the mule for him, as he couldn't bear to do it himself.He said, just shoot him and I'll drag him off with the tractor later. Sure the man replied, no problem.

As he walked back to the car the man decided to play a joke on his son. He got into the car with a disgusted look on his face, slammed the door and beat his fist on the steering wheel a couple of times. I can't believe it, that old man has deer all over this place that he doesn't hunt and he won't allow us to hunt them either. We drove all this way for nothing.I'll show that old fool.

The man then grabbed his rifle, jumped out of the car, and shot the old mule dead. Just as he was turning to see his son's reaction he heard BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, from his son's side of the car.

His son yelled, We showed him dad, you killed his mule, and I got his bull and two cows. Let's get out of here.

I guess sometimes it best to not joke around about some things....hehehe


My Fine is ... $720.50

I stole this one from GuyK and figured I might as well post it, since nothing is really popping up in my head today. Here's the rules, and the list. I wonder just how bad mine is since the ones I have seen are fairly lower than my fine.... ug!

Here’s how it works: You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. (Not per incident!) Tally up your score and post it on your blog with the title… ”My Fine Is…”

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Tuesday, January 30

Countdown to EOM - 1 more day left

Whoo! Wait a busy day so far! God, I love being back in my old position! In 2 weeks I have closed a possible 4 loans - which is half of what the other 2 processors have completed for a whole month! Dman, I like it when I am good!

Here's today's linkage to funny: Tuesday Funny Pic

Freddie was posting today about smells from her younger years, and that got me to thinking about my growing up days. I know from my birth through 12 years I had a variety of animals either I raised or were being raised by the family. My sister and I both had horses (hers white, mine brown) named Sugar and Spice, respectively. I personally don't remember them as I was pretty small (HA! Me using that word to describe my size), but Grandpa had some old fmaily movies on 8mm that shows me riding the horse and Dad hanging on beside me. Then there was the hog we had penned int he backyard. He didn't last long, and to this day I wonder if Dad just got rid of him, or had him butchered up. I know we used that same pen for our large dog we got sometime after that, named Pumpkin. He was some sort of hound, but I never knew what kind. He eventually was sold to someone that lived over 50 miles away, and 2 days later showed back up at the front door as we were leaving. Dad had to drive back out with him to the new owner's place. I remember he weren't to happy 'bout that deal.

I started raising rabbits for 4-H when I was about 9. Plus we had a few mixed breeds Dad & used to butcher in the late fall. Nothing like a good rabbit stew on snow days from school! After we moved from there "into the city" just the step-mom's damn chihuahua named Marybell. Nastiest little f'ing dog I ever met. Dad and I always called her Turtlebait behind my SM's back. I swear, that dog couldn't get any fatter, as her belly already rubbed the ground 2 inches across her chest. Wouldn't let anyone near my SM - not even dad. Sounds bad, but I was glad the day they had to put her to sleep...

But we were talking of animals and smells. Nothing like the smell of a good pig farm that always reminds me of home. The teasing the kids in the car "Who farted?" and the laughs as everyone blames everyone else. Or the better times when someone is able to squeeze one out, loud, whilst we're funnin' around. Makes me think of roadtrips we did to my grandparents up in Elkhart, IN, and playing 'Zap 'Em' with horses. How many of you remember that game? Count your zaps, and hope no one sees a cemetary and shouts "Bury 'Em!" before you do, and lose your points. Heh, I was never good at that one. Nor "Road Alphabet". That's why I usually read if I could.

So there ya go. A little of my past to bore yourself and help you sleep. Good news for those of you interested is I have the results from the Dr. on my younget's heart. There is a slight muscle tension near one of the valves in his heart, but is nothing abnormal. The heart murmur may appear over the next several well-check-ups, but will eventually disappear. All that damn worrying for nothing, and extra medical bills too. Gotta luv it. Alright, enuff of me already. Y'all have a good one, and we'll catch up wit' ya menana.


Monday, January 29

New Features!!

I have seen many of you feloow bloggers using Haloscan for your comments. I, too, checked that out today, and I hope, have installed it correctly here. Let me know if you have problems with commenting!


Another Drinking Paradise that Falls on Monday

Yep, once again I am here to NOT entertain you, but just BS about boring stuff. Just a way to clear my head today and get shit off my chest. Not that I am terribly pissed/upset, I just got to do it every now and then.

So no, I still have not heard from the Dr about my son's visit. The Wife was to call the office today to see if any results were ina dn maybe when we would be contacted. Hurry up and wait. Fucking wonderful.

Work was going well, especially for End Of Month. Only now 3 oother loans I was looking forward to closiong this month as well are fucking falling apart becaue the damn Loan Officer doesn't know what they are selling, or the damn borrowers can't get me the info I need in time to get the shit done. Major Pisser!!! I don't know if I can even save them enough to finish next month. ARGH!! Shit! And now I am getting more problems from these damn lenders!!

I've pretty much given up the trying to quit smoking thing. Though I have reduced the amount I smoke to only when I am drinking...which is less than I am working, but more than likely still too much. My diet is going so-so. I do good during the week, but sometimes I splurge on the weekend, and it makes me feel like I accomplished nothing, though I may still have lost a pound or two. I am starting to get pissed at the fact that my pants are a pain to try to keep up - even with a belt! And I am waiting that first nice check so I can go shopping for smaller sizes!

Good news! I should be expecting my book order to arrive today. That'll give me 5 more books that may last 1-1/2 weeks. I did pick up some Nora Roberts from a bartender friend so I can finish the circle trilogy.

Okay, I am out of here. I need to run to the bathroom , and try to fix this damn problem that title is creating for me.


What are y'all looking for?

Fer sure, by golly, somes peoples get 'em some serious lost when they are out and about surfing the internet. For example, here is this weeks installments of what the search engines brought to my site. I know there has got to be one guy doing some of these searches, and it creeps me out what he searches for... okay! From newest to oldest (about 1/25)

Granny banged
granny gets banged
- both of these within about 2 hours - damn sicko!

boobies blogspot - someone looking for this site in particular I think
beer boobies football jokes stories - I am thinking of doing this search myself sometime!
extreme dry lips - Wonder how that got here?
banged granny - damn sicko perv again
mule steering yee and haw - I have been known to be around jackasses, but this made me laugh!
pediatrician heart murmur - simple one to understand - someone knew what they were doing!
mexico trip - I think it was one of the guys trying to find the site..

That's it for this week...


Friday, January 26

Thank the EFF it is Friday!

Damn! What a busy day! I thrive for days like this in the office, moreso when I can actually accomplish stuff, rather than fight with lenders over penny-ante BS that they can't read/understand/see. Good day overall though.

No major plans this weekend. Waiting for my book order to come in, which won't be until Monday. Older kids have a Bday thing with my nephew at LaserQuest tomorrow, and I have softball come Sunday morning. Wow. Exciting. I'm ready for my next vacation which will be in July, for the OTL in San Diego.

Let's see if anything exciting happens this weekend ....


Thursday, January 25

WTF do I do now?

That's what I have been asking myself for most of this afternoon. Seems about 1:30 all the work and phone calls had died and there was nothing to do, exceot sit at my desk and surf the net. Now I have about half an hour before I can leave, my eyes are hurting from staring at teh screen for so long, my legs are cramped a bit, and I feel like beating the shit out of everyone. But that would take too much energy.

Well, my son went to the Dr today, and I am still waiting to hear the results. Wife calleed me once she was on her way back to work, but she had no idea when they would have results either. So both of us have been waiting to hear. In fact I just called the Wife and she said she still has not heard from them either. I don't know how long it takes to get results from the test he had. I think the wife said it was like an echogram/ultrasound sorta thingy. Hell I don't know.

No major plans coming up. I am out of books to read. I still have the need to replace the ceiling and walls in the hallway. My car is starting to make some weird noises, and I can't figure out what it is. Damn, I am bitchy today. Need to change the subject - but nothing comes to mind. I am going to get out of here and go read some more blogs I guess.


Wednesday, January 24

Pictures for today

Sometimes, you just find this stuff funny....

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Smackdown Wednesday!!

That's we call it down at Bullocks anyways... I never learned why. Someone just hollers out "Smackdown" and we all smack our palms on the bar. Easy entertainment I guess....

There are still a couple hours before I get off work, and as of this exact moment I am all caught up. Well, me and my big mouth. I have a few little things I could do now, but I don't feel like it. At least as of today, everything I drink doesn't taste like Corona!

My son goes in for his ultrasound-thingy for his heart. My wife is just thrilled about taking him. It is in/around Phoenix Children's Hospital (one of the best in the nation I might add) which is located near enough to downtown Phoenix that traffic is a bitch... let alone trying to find a parking spot. And she has to be there for a 10 am Check-in, the appointment at 10:30, and she said parking at 9am. That would mean she would have to leave our house by about 8:15 to make it there by 9... I am glad I am not taking him. I don't do well with hospitals anyways. I wonder how soon they would have results? Days? Hours? Right at the moment?

Okay, I am off to do something else. Y'all clean up here when yer done.


Tuesday, January 23

My Mexico Trip - part II

Saturday started off pretty much the same as Friday. I was up fairly early - but I have no idea as to what time. Seems only like 1 or 2 guys wore watches to know the time. Rest of us didn't have them, and/or had shut off the cell phones for lack of service anyways. Doesn't matter in Mexico when you are on vacation! I figured I was up by 7:30'ish, and started the drinking where we left off. Once everyone was awake, we went to breakfast at JR's. This was my second trip to this restaurant, and I knew they had good food. I ordered up a ribeye steak with eggs and potatoes, then a country style omelette of sausage, peppers and potatoes, all covered with gravy. I ate heartily as I knew I probably would not see much food throughout the remainder of the day.

Back to the condo we go and start up the Doubles Tournament - double elimination, which again I didnot partkae of... there were 11 guys total, so I dropped. (Note: at this point my notes are very hard to read, and there is not much of them. I figured I was so drunk I couldn't hardly keep notes. So most of this is by memory)

The race for being the best was very competitive, though no blood was drawn this round. Again I showed my intelligence and luck by losing $10 on the damn game. The previous "Reigning Champs" came back from the Loser bracket to win the championship! Champions won a $10 pot as everyone had pitched in a buck. My $10 was from my damn pocket.

Honorable Mentions:
Second time Reigning Champs - Don & RedHead
Closest Score 16-10 - Bill & Jimmy (W) Beau & Jim (L)
Worst Score 16-4 - Bill & Jimmy (W) Don & RedHead (L)

Saturday night was spent out at the local hangouts for us. I finished off the second bottle once we got home. I remember at least laying down to sleep on the couch this time, but was awakened early by Jimmy and Crew getting ready to leave early (pre dawn). From there on I cat-napped until most everyone was up. The rest of the morning I spent reading while several went to breakfast. Then it was clean up and head out. As we left Rocky Point, it began to rain, which continued I presume, most of the way home. I know it was snowing when we reached Beau's. I was home by 5:30 and pretty much ready for bed. Of course, that rolled over into Monday morning as I had that busy day at work.

So that was my trip. Of course, there was many things said I can't relate on here... man-code and all, but it was a great trip to get out of town. And I spent less than $250 spending money!


My Mexico Trip - part 1

Friday morning started off bad. I was packed and ready to go, had everything I would need and more... couldn't find my wallet. I spent half an hour looking for it, before I found it - thirty seconds before my ride knocked on the door. My Wife laughs because I was near tears that I wouldn't be able to go to Mexico without my license and money. At this point I was ready to drink. We stopped and picked up three more people and headed to the west side where all were meeting at B's house. Beau's wife was the best, and had a big breakfast ready for those that wanted. Me? I settled for a Bloody Mary and tried to relax a bit. We finally were ready to hit the road a little before 9 am.

As we were leaving Phoenix, a rainstorm was on it's way in. We were rained on for about 45 minutes, and skies were clearing up southward by the time we made Gila Bend. Bathroom break at the McD's, then on south. Our next stop was at the Duty-Free store at the border. I did pretty good. I bought 2 1-liter bottles of Crown Royal for $18 each, and got a free Crown Royal backpack. Figured I could drink one bottle in Mexico, and bring one home. The other guys got smokes, and their brands of drink. One even had a shopping list for people back at work. Once out of there, of course it was our truck that got the inspection, but it only was a brief one, and we were back on the road within about 5 minutes. Rocky Point here we come!

We arrived at the condos, watching as the other truckload of guys were trying to figure out a workman's lockbox to get the keys. Don finally got the place open and we proceeded to "Salute" to Mexico, and set up for horseshoes. That's when the mouths starting spouting things I would never let my kids hear. Oh the bragging, the curses, the mean machinations of foul mouthery ... I believe Beelzebub was amongst us. I played it smart and did not play ( I am not one much for horseshoes) and so I kept track of the tournament.

As play began, and the drinks flowed, the chattering slackened off to jokes, or phrases like "Oh, that sounded good". The weather was nice with sun and the more we drink, the more it showed. One of the guys, Smitty, was trying to magic tricks - I don't know if he ever got one to work right. About that same time, Jan threw a horseshoe and hit the RedHead in the head, and the blood flowed. It was getting to be early evening as the tournament wound down. I lost $5 on the final round as Dan took the championship for single player double elimination. At this point we proceeded to head "downtown" to the Dunas, and spent awhile there before checking a couple other places out. By midnight wewere back at the condo, and I had already finished one bottle of Crown, and opened the second. So much for taking some home. I made it to the couch about 3am and slept sitting up (I forgot to lay down).

Mentionable notes of the tournament:
RedHead - gets 1st blood drawn and 1st guy eliminated
Dan - new reigning champ
Worst loss - 11-2 Beau (W) Don (L)
Closest game - 15-12 Jan (W) Joe (L)

More to come later...


Monday, January 22

Recent Links to here

I am back from Mexico, and no, no stories of jail-life there. The 12 of us made it safely, though not soberly, through our trip. I will post more tomorrow about that stuff. Today I am really busy playing catch-up on paperwork, but wanted to share the past days worth of links to here... some are okay, some are stupid, and somebody was desperate for something in particular...

banged at work by boss - I wouldn't want this one to happen....

heavy boobies at the football game - this actuallt seemed interesting...

These few were evidently the same person, so I am only seperating by a / mark -

granny gets banged/banged granny/granny banged/granny midget/midget porn
- pretty sick pervs out there...

use boobs to see if beer is cold - Cute! I give it the high five today!

heart murmur - definately not looking for this sight....

Anyways, there are the past few. Watch for upcoming posts of Mexico!


Thursday, January 18

Final Day of Countdown! Viva La Mexico!

Yes! It is only hours away now, rather than days or weeks. I have only a few things left to do to finish my preparing for the trip. I have spent the last 2-3 weeks preparing for the large intakes of alcohol. I have prepared for the weather by what I have packed to wear. I have toiletries to pack in the morning, money to pull from the bank tonight, and sleep to get, as I may not get much while there. Yes, so much to look forward to doing.

I have nothing to entertain you, my readers, whilst I am out of the country. I have no cell phone service there, so no mobile updates will be done. I ahev not asked anyone to guest blog here, being how it will only be for 3 days. I should be back on Monday with a nice update and possibly stories for the next couple Wednesdays to share.... I am hoping for that part, after all, I am taking anotebook to try to remember details.

Work has been busy this morning, as I am trying to get thru everything in each file so nothing should be needing to be done tomorrow, or if there is, a simpleton could do it. Ha! Must be why they put me int his position. I'll tell you what, yesterday I was walking around with a head the size of Texas because of what everyone was telling me. My Team Leader was telling me he had been asking for the owners to put me back in processing since I had started back here, the Loan Officers that I would be working with were happy and excited because in 3 days I have nearly caught up on 3 weeks of fuck-up from the previous processor, and have 2 loans closing already. Yes, they are quite happy that I know what I am doing, and that I want to close as many loans as they do, so we BOTH make good money!!! Damn, it is finally nice to be noticed and appreciated!

Sheesh, actually I am almost caught up with nothing to do... bummers. I finished "Brother Odd" last night. Not quite what I had in mind for an ending, so I have passed the book to my feloow employee and friend, Big D, and to await his reading of the novel so we can discuss the likes/dislikes of the story. Then of course the book will go with the collection to my wife, as she had expressed interest in reading this series. Not that often does she do that. I am saving "Next" by Michael Crichton for the Mexico trip. Actually, I was going to start it today whilst at lunch, but I evidently took it in last night and forgot it this morning. So no book to read if I take a lunch, so I have no idea if I will take a to be me.

Okay, nothing much else to say for now. Enjoy your weekend, and see ya back on Monday! Here's a pic for you to laugh at...

Wednesday, January 17

Countdown continues ... 2 days!

In half an hour I am outta here! Looking forward to a drink at the pub tonight. It feels so damn good to be back doing what I have been doing the last 4 years - processing! That loan officer stuff just is not for me. I have been busy yesterday and today, that I am actually a little worn out. And I haven't dozed off just sitting at my desk. Now, I just gotta move fast on the loans and be making the good bucks again!

Basically a day and a half until I am headed South. Looking forward to the Bloody Mary that morning, and the comraderie of the guys. Enough of that, I need to stay concentrated until Friday morning!

Picked up a book last night I have been waiting for ... "Brother Odd" by Dean Koontz. There are a couple other books that precede this one, "Odd Thomas" and "Forever Odd". I read about half the book last night as I could not set it down. I also picked up Michael Crichton's "Next" which sounds pretty cool as most of his stuff seems to be.

Okay, I am ready to split to the pub and drink and read. Y'all have a good time!


Tuesday, January 16

Counting down ... 3 days to go!

Yes, I have begun to dream of the trip to Mexico. I see myself kicking back on the beach, legs stretched out in front of me, beer in one hand, whiskey in the other. Ahhh, feel the breeze come off the water, every five minutes saying "No" to the beach vendors that constantly are going by offering their "special, and not expensive" wares of rings, sunglasses, blankets and hats. Not often do they come by with food. But yeah, I had this dream going for a bit last night. It was nice and relaxing.

Tuesday obviously doesn't hold a lot of excitement for almost anyone it seems today. Nothing exciting happened last night, nor do I expect anything great tonight. I know I need to find some more books to read. I had picked up 3 of them last week about Thursday, and here I finished the last one today at lunch. And I tried not to read over the weekend!!

Oh well, I guess I am out of here for now. Y'all take care.


Monday, January 15

Mr. Excitement is here!

Boiy, oh boy, are you readers in for a long post today. Seems I have a few days to catch up on that have held some unbelievable excitement, action, love, and adventure like my life does not need on an everday basis. Let us have you read, and see, then decide if a man of my caliber should be exposed to this much .... energy? emotion? shit?

Friday was a typical Friday. Went out to the one pub where most of us softball guys meet up and drink. I wasn't out too terribly late, as I was trying to appease the Wife some. Saturday started off nice. I got my regular sleeping in til 10 done, and after lunch took the family out to see "Eragon", then took them out to dinner. Was a very nice afternoon being spent together as family. The kids even behaved very well. Since it was early yet, I went out and had some reading time at my hangout, Jimbo's.

Sunday started the usual way. Wife woke me up once the alram went off at 7:30, then I was off to the Church of Holy Beer and Softball. It was a bit chilly for Arizona, as local temps the night beofre had dropped as low as 28 degrees. I know that isn't much for alot of you, but realize we are a desert state not used to that type of weather. So I am in a nice windbreaker, watching my team lose their double header, and then watching a couple other teams after that. Friends of one of our teamates broughttheir grill up and we had brats and burgers and chips to go along with the beer (we had to do a 2nd beer run at 10 once the allow the sale of it on Sundays).

About 1'ish I felt like going. I was meeting a couple of my friends up at the pub to play some video golf. They had left earlier in order to fix a copper pipe that had busted on one's house. It came off his solar unit, and the cold snap had split it. Lucky for him it was ON the roof. So I am up having my first round of drinks, reading a good book, when I get a phone call from the Wife. She is frantic an I have to tell her to calm down and tell me what's going on. She said she had just got home from church with the kids, and walked into about 2 inches of water in the kitchen, halll and also had spread into both kids rooms, the family room, and the living room carpets. Dripping was coming from the hallway ceiling, down into the walls... she was crazy! I tried to explain to her where the Gate valve was, to no use. I rucshed out the bar, and was home in like 7 minutes, shut off the valve, and walked in. It was bad. All the drywall ceiling of the hallway was going to have to come out, plus the walls on both sides, and part of the hall bath and doorway. I started calling plumbers, and out of 12 calls, only 2 would take my number and try to give me an ETA when they would be by, buy they had no idea for sure.

The Wife called a friend of her family, who happened to be a plumber, and he saved our day! He came out, and found the leak (and elbow joint in a water line above the ceiling). Had it all fixed in about 30 minutes, and only cost me $140. Alot cheaper than a regular plumber would have charged. SO now I need to fix the ventalation system (it is just rusted thru all over) and then the drywall over those areas. Plus we have been wet/dry vac'ing the carpet areas in hope they won't get modly later on. I left home as I was just beat, and stressed and met my buddies up at the abr as they were still there. There we finished watching the SD and NE game and they went home. I figured I would try to relax and do some more reading.

Must have been around about 8 when the fight broke out. A guy had just introduced himself to me, and asked if he could sit at the multi-chair table I was at. Of course he could, I ain't stingy. Less than 2 minutes later, I still had picked my book up, than he and another guy start swinging, and were down on the floor. I had done enough breaking up of fights years ago when I used to host karaoke, and helped bounce the bar. I usually let the other people do it. So I sat there watching the punch and wrestle. A few people had slowly started getting them apart and pn their feet, when they broke out into it again, and bumped into my table, directly across from me.

Now like I said, I usually just watch these things (unless my buds are involved), but this 'Effer had hit may table and spilt my fresh glass of Jack. In two steps I am around the table, and grab the guy who had intro'ed to me just a scant moment ago, into a full nelson and pull him up and away from everyone, and started walking towards the back door. He had blood all over his face, and looked like he got it bad. I let him go to the restroom, and the blood was coming from a half-inch cut on his forehead, plus the broker nose he had just gotten. The owner of the place, Randy by name, asked me to get him out the back door, and not let him back in. Since I was the only "big guy" at the moment, I agreed to help, and proceeded tagging along behind him as he went around the building to get in the front. Between myself and another regular there, we talked him into going home. I went in and had to watch the arms of the blood I had gotten on me. I told Randy that he owed me a new shirt ( I was wearing that particular bar shirt from that place). He said no problem. Then the waitress comes over ( and I hate receiving compliments when I don't feel I deserve em) and proceeds to tell me how she never thought a guy as heavy as I am could be strong enough to do what I did. What did I do? I asked, and she said I literally picked up this guy, from him on the floor, and turned around and carried him to the bathroom. I said I didn't , and she says yes, and she's got witnesses, and was so thankful I was there and helped them out, bla bla blah.... By the time I got home that night, I was toast. I mean, from the adrenaline rush, I would not have been surprised if I picked that effer up and did what she said. This morning, I am doing good to walk - feel like I almost twisted my knee out, and my arms/shoulders just feel VERY overworked.

Now it is Monday, and since it is MLK day (the fuckingest dumbest holiday to award off for people) we are trying to get out of the office an hour early. No one has been open for mortgages except us I thnk today. Good thing is I got my first paycheck! And even better, I am no longer a loan officer!!!! I have offically been posted back to processing, which is what I was hoping would happen some day around here, never expecting it this soon!!!

So, what do you think? Action! Adventure! Family drama! Family Time! This damn weekend seemed to be chockfull of it. I am ready to work the next 3 days, then off to Rocky Point this Friday thru Sunday. Hope you all enjoyed today's post. I think I will consider it the Wednesday Story, even though it isn't Wednesday... wait til my friends hear about that fight....


Thursday, January 11

Update on my son's heart murmur

For those of you interested (like Reverend Mother, whom I should update her by phone instead of waiting for her to read this) My youngest son (the 10 1/2 month old) went in for his heart doctor appointment today. Seems his regular pediatrician last onth said he had a heart murmur. Well, the Wife just called and updated me, so if it sounds weird here, it prolly is since the Wife is the medical person, and I am just trying to grasp the layman terms of it all.

Bottom line is the doc said he heard a bit that sounded like what he calls an "innocent murmur". This is the type that may persist for years, or clear up on its own in time - sort of like I had when I was a kid I guess. However, (they always seem to throw this in there), it didn't 'quite sound like' and "innocent murmur", so they are going to run some machine on him. I forget the name, but it basically is an ultrasound device so they can see if there is anything abnormal that we should be concerned about. That is to be scheduled for the 25th of this month. Amazing how if it is not immediately life-threatening, it takes days, and sometimes weeks to get in for an appointment.

So, now we sit and wait until then to find out if it is something to worry about. And it all started like the beginning of December.... Oh well. Boy is starting to walk a little, and is just so full of energy, I am sure nothing is wrong. He's good at irritating his brothers and sister... heck even me at times. Good kid!

I am off to call the Reverend Mother so she is not surprised when she reads about it here.


granny midget porn star gets banged up by boss

Yup. That there is a story I would definately skip if I came across that headline. Hell, I would not be surprised if y'all didn'tr read this here post, thinking I was going to go into detail about it. I suppose I could write some of this in italics and make it look like I was quoting a paper or something... naw. Too much effort to have someone skip reading this.

Today is turning into a decent day. My brother finally paid me off all the money he had owed me over the past ... I dunno how many years. A whopping $350 is waiting for me to pick up form my sister's house tonight after work. Just in time for my spending money for Mexico!! Makes me happy!!!

I am out of books again. I need to get the ones out of my car and bedroom, and put together the series books and get them into the book store. Then hopefully the bookstore has soem books I am looking for... or would be interested in.

It is almost lunchtime. I have no idea what I am going to do for lunch. I could go spend 12 bucks and get some food, or go home and fix a salad bowl. Or I don't know. Not sure what sort of mood for food I am, and it is a bit irritating. Anyways, I am getting out of here for an hour. I tried to put together a short story, and have included at this post's end. It sucks, but not bad for about a half hours work, whilst answering phones.


The digital clock on the microwave read 11:10. Sunlight was streaming through the window, spreading its sheen as it struck the empty metallic sink. The dog in the backyard is laying in the shade of the block wall fence as much as possible, the tongue lolling out, panting like it had just ran a marathon. That’s how dogs cool themselves since they don’t sweat. At least, that is what they taught in Science class, and that summer I worked at the Humane society. But that was another time and place.

I slide open the patio door, and the sunscreen door, reflex makes me close my eyes shut more, so I am barely squinting. The handful of geckos I had seen this morning on the wall are long gone. Hiding out in a tunnel, or somewhere new they have found another easy way into the home. I take the hose, and turn on the faucet. Hot water comes out the end, which I lay at the foot of one of the “trees” my parents were trying to grow in the desert. After a couple minutes I feel the water, and it dropped to a more “temperate” temperature, and I made sure the water dish for the dog’s water dish is filled.

As quick as I could, I got back inside, where the air conditioning was set for a regular 79 degrees. I kicked back on the couch for a few minutes. I had to get out of here … I was starting to feel ‘out of sorts’. I flipped through the channels on the television, but there nothing interesting on.

I headed down the hall, hoping I would be able to locate a book in my room I had not read yet. Or even worse, find one I have read, but am willing to read again. No such luck.
I flopped down on the bed, and rolled on to my back. Staring at the ceiling, thinking to myself that there has to be something to do around here. Why else would people choose to live in the desert? Surely not to spend 6 months of the year trapped indoors from the heat.

I holler (who uses that word anymore?) at my brother one room over. “Let’s go shooot some baskets.”

“It’s too damn hot right now. Why don’t you wait til like three?”

“Get off yer damn ass and shut off your soap. Let’s go shoot some baskets for about an hour.” My brother is only three years younger than I, but he was totally into watching the soap operas back then. I wouldn’t be surprised if he still likes to watch them today. I head towards the kitchen to use the phone.

“Wait 5 minutes then we can go”, he replies. I am okay with that.

“I’ll call Tom while you get ready.” Tom, the stepdad. Here I was 15 years old, but the major rule he had when we lived at home was phone calls. We were not to be using the phone “all afternoon” talking to friends; if we wanted to go outside, or on a bike ride, or over to the elementary school to shoot baskets – we had to call him at work and request permission. Then he would give us a time limit, and have us call when we got back home so he knew we were there again within his time limit. School year we had to always call whenever we made it home from school. Sucked big time.

Author’s Note – I don’t know where I am trying to go with this story. I thought in the beginning the ending would come to me, but it isn’t. It is like reliving a summer day from my teen years… seriously! Welp, I guess I am just practicing my descriptives, narration, etc.

Wednesday, January 10

Hump day is here

It is freaking hot in here! I swear they must have turned up the heat on purpose, to make it really feel like hell sitting here through the workday. I am sweating like crazy. I just checked the temp, and it is set for 78 degrees. Too damn hot! I need to get a fan to put at my desk, so it sort of blows across my area to get some air movement to help keep me cool.

Another day with nothing happening … yes, welcome to my Wednesday. Supposedly story Wednesday, but once again I am sort of trapped without one to share. Maybe I can get one posted a little later. I don’t know. I am too damn hot to concentrate on much right now. Between that and in about another hour and half will be answering the phone non-stop for 3 hours. Sigh.

So last night I finished “Eldest”, book two of the “Inheritence” series written by Christopher Paolini. No idea when book # 3 will be released. Again – sucks to be me. I am in the process of reading Stephen King’s “Everything’s Eventual” again, but after I am done with that, I am out of books again.

Tomorrow my youngest goes in for his heart doctor examination. Since last month his pediatrician had “heard a heart murmur” we had to schedule this heart dr. I am sure it is nothing, but will find out more tomorrow.

Okay, I am out of here for now. Figure maybe I can go surf for a bit prior to having to work again.


Tuesday, January 9

Weird referrals

Okay, I knew when I chose the website and domain names that there would be some weird referrals from Google and the rest of them. I went back and looked at the ones from Jan 4th to present date from oldest to newest here is the list:

boobies drop seats - I have no clue what this one is supposed to bring up. I even checked some of the other suggestions google had, but I could not figure it out.

book of girl - Huh? I assume a new novel?

party 75 people beer - Sounds like a normal night out for me! Let me know when!

big boobies - Oh, this was a given. And to think I was like the third link on the

Anyways, I just wanted to share those with you. And thank those of you that I get a lot of clicks from...


What the hell was that?

What a boring football game that was last night. Here I was hoping for a closer game in score, and have the teams battling it out… instead I could have stayed at home and slept. That’s all I am going to say about that BCS game.

It’s Tuesday and nothing has changed from the normal, beside the fact I have a lot of gas build-up. Must be from the beer I drank last night. I don’t know why otherwise I would be so gassy. Yeah, like y’all wanted to know about that.

Okay, so nothing exciting planned for this week, so I may take a couple days off, maybe not. I think I am heading to the bar tonight after work. I haven’t decided. Heck, right now I am undecided about a lot if things.

Mexico coming up the 19th. I am counting the days.


Monday, January 8

Day One - Monday it starts again

I am tired today. Seems I spent last night tossing and turning, only to keep waking like every 45-50 minutes, all night long. And when I would slip off to slumberland, I was having a dream in episodes, about these desks (yes I said desks) that were killing people somehow and I had to solve how before they got to my family. In a demented sort of way, it was cool … but tiring. Then to top it off, since school starts back up today, back to the 6am drop off for the daughter. Sigh.

Today is the big day for the BCS Championship game here in the valley. I left for lunch a bit over an hour ago, and they said traffic was already getting thick over by Cardinal Stadium, due to the number of people showing up to tail-gate party. Freeways on the west side of town they were suggesting you stay away from until well after the game. Thanks good ness I don’t live quite that far west. Where I am at, the traffic won’t really be affected too bad. As of right now, I am planning on meeting the boys down at the pub to watch the game. Depends on how tired I feel once quitting time gets here.

No more holidays off from work now until Memorial Day. Isn’t that a bummer? The longest period of the year to go with no holiday from work, unless you work for the gov’t. They get MLK day, Pres. Day, and who knows what else between now and the end of May. Thank goodness I have my Rocky Point trip scheduled for just under two weeks from now. We had the all the guys going meet together Saturday night and discuss traveling arrangements, etc. Twelve men going. Watch your local newspapers to see if we make it back or not.

After the trip to Mexico, I haven’t got anything until July, when we spend the 4-5 day trip over there for Over The Line. Again, another trip I am extremely looking forward to going on, and the guys have already started razzing me about how much I will drink and whatnot. It’s great to have friends there to razz you every once in awhile.

Okay, I have only killed like 10 minutes with this post, so I will let you slide on out of here. Check out the post today by Hoosierboy (link is on the right). Nice essay about how to describe himself. I mentioned to him I may steal that idea later this week so I have something to write about, but then again, like you would want to know anything about me more than you already do… Heh, talk about something disgusting, and perverted. Hope you Monday is going well. Think of mine, it’s got to be better!


Friday, January 5

Last night whilst I was out ...

How many of you out there, my esteemed readers, that know what “Chapstick” is? I am not talking about the physical make-up of chemicals, etc. but what it is… basically a product applied to the lips to prevent chapping of the lips, usually in cold weather, but can be used year round. I use it here in AZ during the summer, as I tend to lick my lips a lot in the heat, and being in and out of pools, helps keep sunburn off too. Nothing feels wonderful like sunburned, chapped lips – ouch!

Well, I speak for myself, but I am sure a few of you can relate, that when we were younger and chapstick came in like 2, maybe three flavors. I remember regular (no flavor) and cherry. Over the years they have gone on to flavors I can sometimes only imagine, but include chocolate, all the berries, bubblegum, fruits, candies, and the list goes on and on I am sure.

There is a purpose to my madness of bringing up the subject of Chapstick.

Last night as I was in my local hangout, reading my book, a girl friend had come in to see me. She had been out of town for the holidays, and was meeting one of her friends there as well. Due to time limitations, and schedules, they had not exchanged Christmas gifts and were doing so last night. Her friend also has a 13 year old son, whom my friend had given a basket filled with chocolate candies and a tube of chapstick. After her friend had headed home, she and I were talking when she got a phone call from her friend. Seems the son had been eating some of the candies, and opened the chapstick. Thinking it was another kind of candy, he had taken a bite of it and was chewing it. He had came out to his mother, and asked her “Mom, it says here that I am not to chew or swallow this stuff. Will I need to go to the hospital for poisoning?”

My friend told me this and I just had to laugh. I mean, he’s 13 years old, and apparently had no idea what chapstick was about. I asked my friend what kind had she given him, and she had mentioned she did not know. She had found a good deal at the Dollar Store, and had picked up several different flavors. I can imagine it being bubble gum flavor – LOL!

Anyways, I just had to share that little story. I still am snickering a bit about it. Y’all have a good Friday, and hopefully, mine will end good too.


Thursday, January 4

Story of the Week

You guys are SOOOO spoiled! I give you not one, not two, but THREE posts all in one day ... and I still have not left work! Amazing! This one is a special one becuase I really was bored at lunch, and sorta dozed off during my lunch hour. I receieved some revelation, no, wrong word. Inspiration? Imagination? A little of all the above? Anyway, I put together a nice little fictional piece .. some of which I dreamed about (which part I won't admit to anyone). So enjoy this Story of the Week.

She’s wearing the light sundress of yellow and white you notice as you walk over to the table where she is sitting, a setting of tea for two upon the table. You feel a lightness inside as she turns her head to look at you, her dark hair swaying in the breeze of disturbance. A noise from the doorway you are passing grabs your attention and you turn and walk through it.

It’s dark, somewhere in a poorer part of town and you are being chased by a pack of wolves, then it evolves that they are not chasing you, but you are leading them. You head in a direction where the sky is growing darker, and the 2- or 3-story buildings are getting more and more abandoned and decrepit looking. Their howls spur you to a faster pace, when you suddenly turn into a lower casement window opening, where the sheet of plywood has been partially removed.

Suddenly, you are alone, and not a wolf anymore, but a human male, and you are armed with some sort of pistol. You have the feeling that you are being hunted, and are glancing around warily, searching for some way out, or a place to rest defensively for a moment, as you breath is hot and ripping at your lungs. Hunger grabs at your stomach, and the sweat drips from everywhere you have skin exposed. Several slices in the clothes show you minor cuts and bruise, like you have been on the run for awhile. But you are not really on the run, you sense deep inside. You are being hunted.

As you head down a dark hallway, with steam pipes above your head, hanging low enough to make you duck, the first shot ricochets off the wall to your left. Dropping to a crawling position you move forward, slower now than before, but a smaller target, and return fire, blindly into the dark behind you. ‘Cool’, you think. ‘Laser pistol’. A light reflects out of a crawlspace to your left, and you enter it hoping it leads to somewhere safe …

You crawl out of a doghouse. Literally, a doghouse, just like Snoopy would have had. Glancing around you are in some backyard, seemingly middle-class yard. In your hand the pistol is no longer there, being replaced by a chew-bone. You hear some barking from out front, and head through the open gate to the street. Less than a house away, running full speed toward you is a pack of wolves, only larger, with yellow eyes and jaws that are drooling saliva. You turn to run, barely getting a few steps before they are up on and you feel the bite on your neck and things turn gray and mist-like. A brief breeze blows by and you open your eyes.

You look at the dark haired young girl, who is obviously underage, and notice the tightness in the chest and hips of her dress that bring to mind thoughts that you shouldn’t be having. A smile plays across her succulent lips, to which you can only reply in kind. She leans towards you for that one tender moment of a kiss … and you wake up.
Hope you enjoyed.

Big post of the Day - Survey results

Well, okay. I am a day early but here are the lame-ass results from the survey. We had seven people nice enough to respond. I know next time it will be something really interesting that’ll I will ask. Results:

2 – Central Indiana
1 – Arizona
1 – Ohio
1 – SE Tennessee
1 – Florida
1 – somewhere North of my work IP address physical address (weird one) LOL

So thanks to those of my esteemed readers that participated. Glad you were here to be entertained for a moment of your busy schedules. I know I can add at least 3 more to the Arizona list, but it is a moot point now. Besides, according to the sitemeter thingy-ma-bob, I know I got people clicking into here from all over the place ... intentionally or not. And the fact I figured out how to read some of the Google references that bring my site up… Beer Can Turkey was a big one over the holiday. Go figure. Another was “Boobies and Beer song”. I never heard of that one, but I know Rodney Carrington has a little clip off one of his albums called “Titties and Beer” that is pretty funny.

Okay, a new year that results in new changes. Everyone likes to do them. So, I thought long and hard about what I would like to change around here, and I decided on the management. Ha! Got ya there! No, I am still in charge. I used to due my Wednesday Story, but lately haven’t been creative, or had any wonderful experiences to share. I would like to continue with this theme though, and will try to get one every Wednesday but I can say for the record now, it may not happen every week. Second, I was thinking about doing some sort of question/poll/survey, but I dunno what I would do them on. Prolly some weird shit that I think would be different, and would actually be perverse … then we all would be like, I ain’t signing my name to that comment/answer. Hey, sounding more and more like an idea now… I will have to stretch my mental capacities and think on it.

Time to get back to doing something constructive here at the office. I have like 3 hours to go until I can get out of here. Y’all spend some time reading some sites off to the right hand side there…


Alas! I Have Failed!

Last night at the bar, I broke down and had a few cigarettes. I have no feelings of remorse. No feelings of guilt. Just chalk it up to another thing that was not meant to last long. However, I am back on the smoke-free way as of this morning. I just need to learn to not go to the bar prior to having a stronger will. Yeah, that's it.

I have started "Eldest", the second book in the "Inheritance" series by Paolini. Too bad there is no time frame for the third book to be released. Story of my life.

Damn, I just sound depressing as hell this morning. I think I should go cruise around for awhile to see what happens...


Wednesday, January 3

Sometimes work is sooo frustrating!!

It is about 20 minutes til 4pm. I am still sitting here doing nothing. We are supposed to have this dialer making calls and transferring leads to us...starting at 3 so that they will be done by 5:30 and we an get out of here. But today...NOOOOOO. We have no idea when they are going to get them started, and I am not happy. Definately will be late to meet the boys now. Frustrating as hell that no one seems to know WTF they are doing around here... myself included at times.

Alright, I feel a little better bitching about that. Well, not really, but oh well. Can't do anythign else about it....


... and still the torture lingers, for how long ....?

Another half day I have made it without a smoke. I lasted only a short while at the bar last night, before I had to leave. At least I was able to get down a few drinks before that happened!

Responses are still coming in (at least 1 today so far) on my survey. I guess I need to be a bit more original in an idea to survey how many use vasaline for sex; on the doorhandle to keep the kids out? Or something like, when ladies shave their legs, do they use short strokes against the grain, or long strokes with the grain? You know, something more thought provoking then where are you located.... Yes, must think more originally.

So, a bit over half the workday is over and once again I am looking forward to heading to the bar for a game of golf tonight. Be my luck I won;t get out of here til late and by the time I make the pub, the buds will be finishing off their drinks and headed home ... and it only being 6'ish. Damn old farts!

Speaking of old farts, I don't think I mentioned that the Reverend Mother helped replace the wonderful sharpened piece of steel I carried around all the time. As poste dpreviously, I had to toss my Dale Jr pocket lockblade, since I was not careful enough to check all my pockets when I had to go to court for a ticket. Well, the Mother brought over NYD a knife that replaces it. Not a bad little deal as it has several additional attachments. In fact I noticed last night I have 2 others just like it. So now I can keep a blade in every room in case I need it to defend myself. Never know when I will need to "cut the cheese" - That's funny I don't care what ya say. ANd yes, Mother, I posted this specifically for you. Sometimes I wonder why she reads here....

Once again I am out of books. Just prior to Xmas, my reading buddy had handed off 3 books to me. One I had read before, the other two I finished last night. At a loss for what to do during lunch today, I came across an Stephen King collection I had not read in while and am re-reading it..." Everything's Eventual". Sucks though when you get halfway through a story and go - 'Oh yeah, this is how it ends'. But it will have to make due until I can figure out what to do. I think I need to go to library and pay my fine and get some books. That, and the Daughter needs to finsh "Eldest" for me to read...though I still have to wait for the third book to be published. The associate that sits next to me at work gave me a book that is self-help in the banking industry. Yee haw. Yeah, I am jumping head over heels to read that one.

Well, this has been a longer post than normal. I am heading out to cruise some sites I haven't been to in awhile. Y'all enjoy and clean up after yourselves.


Tuesday, January 2

Every once in awhile ...

... life throws you a good one. Today I found out I am now getting a salary. Well, more of an hourly base, but it is better than just commision on loans. Then of course came the curve ball. We are working on teams of four, and is three are producing consistently well, and the 4th isn't - say termination to #4. Right now I feel that may be myself. I haven't closed anythign as of yet, but hope to have three deals for January. Not a bad start for someone that has never sold a loan before, but still I am worried a bit.

Thanks again to all you fulfilling my "Where are you" Survey. I should have final answers up by Friday, and am still accepting comments, or if you prefer to email me at I will be taking answers up til Friday morning. SO get off yer lazy ass and let me know... And I can guess who some of you are... the rest I will just have to blame your country/location. LOL!

I am out for a beer here int he next hour. I am a bit shakey from having no cigerettes for 2 days now. Craving, but still forcing to have none. But the beer... Oh, I think it may help compensate as long as I don't smoke at the bar.... be lots of second hand smoke though.


Welp, it has finally arrived ...

... the new year that is. So far I am unimpressed with it, and am debating trading it in for an earlier year, one that I know was good...or that I wouldn't mind seeing again.

Nothing exciting happened over the weekend for me. Spent NYE at my sister's, and came back there the next day for NY lunch that Mom had made. Again I got the quarter from the cole slaw, meaning I am to have a god luck year ... funny that I am just about the one to get it all the time. Good thing everyone hates cole slaw, I guess.

Not too much to gripe about yet today. I am just starting the workday, and feel okay. One of my resolutions was to quit smoking, and so far that has gone well. Maybe that is why I feel different. I am also trying to lose at least 30 pounds in the 1st six months. That will be a chore. No sense in making resolutions to break unless they are big!!

So Happy New Year to y'all ... hope your's starting better than mine.