Monday, April 28

What do ya know? Time to go drink some beer!

Good Monday afternoon to y'all! It has been an interesting weekend, but things are going about normal around here. Especially since things are starting to heatup. It is supposed to be 96 today... too damn hot! At least according to the "forecasters" it is to cool off to 90 by the end of the week. Either way, I know 100+ is not too far off.

Job hunt is just getting started. I sent off a couple resumes for and obviously waiting to hear back. I figure a day or two at least for them to read the resume and see if I qualify. Other than that, I am getting the - what does one call them, jitters?nerves? - from being stuck at home most of the weekend.So today I am heading down to the pub shortly after posting this and reading a few others.

It is Monday, and so without further ado, here are some pics for you.This would be a nice security firm to work for...

Yeah, I could say things like, "She could hold *my* gun!" and other crude things. But the worst part is I don't think I could keep my eyue on the suspects.

Always have time for a cold Budweiser, and of course a bit of this....

Gotta love me some good ol Tennessee whisky. I think I might have a few of these as well this afternoon.
And lastly for some humor....

Hope y'all had a good weekend! Be talking back at ya soon!

Sunday, April 27

My Humblest Apologies

My beloved readers, I leave you this note today, though it breaks one of my rules, but your need to know comes first in my mind. Of course I broke the "Don't post if you have been drinking" rule, but I know you need to hear from me.

This past Thursday, I resigned from the company I was "working" for in the mortgage industry. All I will say about it, is that we both parted on VERY good terms, no hard feelings, etc etc, and there is a future for me with that company in the future, if I ever see it again. * I read that as BONUS*

In the meantime, I am presently looking for other employment, outside of the mortgage industry, and therefore, my posting may be more sporadic than usual. Heck, I may just break all my rules and just start posting whenever I feel like it! Who knows?!?! I will be doing my best to keep up with you, and hope you remember me - WTF? Nevermind.

Basically, if I miss a post here and there, you may be surprised at what you get in the meanwhile ... then again, I don't shock most of you that much. See what happens at 1:30am when ya been at the bar for about 8 hours.....

Okay. I'll still be here, reading away on your blogs, even if I don't get a regular post up. (Damn, thank you for spell check). Be sure to check here every now and then - never know now what you may find. No bosses to hinder what I may post...


Thursday, April 24

Hmmmm, what happened to Wednesday?

I will take the blame, but I won't apologize. Yes, I neglected my duties to you the readers for not posting yesterday. I know - bad enough I usually don't post on weekends, but yesterday something just had to be done.

I called into work pretending to be sick. You know, the call where you say you are throwing up, and seem to have the never ending liquefied bowel movements. And you kinda hoarse your voice to make it sound like the vomiting has left you sore-throated. Yeah, I did that. I raised up my head and said "F*ck it. I don't feel like sitting in the office for 9 hours doing nothing."

So I wonder if my bosses ever read this blog. I know I never told them about it, and I am faithful about deleting the history of websites on an hourly basis. You know what? It doesn't matter anymore. As soon as I get my next 2 checks, I am out of here anyways. Yeah, I am quitting. Being a quitter. Giving up on this job. Whatever you want to call it. I am through with it.

So, now who wants to hire a 36 year old who is over qualified for a basic job, and under qualified for any management position (excluding fast food places I am sure)? Well, best to say, I am spending time whilst at this job looking online. Yesterday I worked on my resume - damn, it looks depressing sort of. I just have got to get out of the mortgage/real estate business. There is no one hiring for my position. Trust me I have been looking for several months!

So, by this time next week, I will have all the hours of the day to devote to finding another job, rather than wasting them suffering in the one I am at. The Wife agrees with me, that this should be a good move on my part - good thing she agrees too. Hell, her paychecks have basically been supporting us the last several months anyways, due to the little amount of business we have been able to do. And I can play a bit of Mr Mom at home and get some other things done that we just haven't had time to do. Well, maybe that part.

Now you know what happened to Wednesday. Why I was not here for you, to give you some inspiring piece of literature to enjoy. Instead, I watched 7 episodes of "Numb3rs" and a cartoon movie about Dr Strange. Oh, and the second half to "Resident Evil:Extinction". I even worked in a lunch of Tuna salad, with some vanilla ice cream for dessert, a good 3 hour nap in the afternoon, and a meatball sandwich - leftover from Sunday, for supper. What a day. I woke up this morning thinking I should call into work again - but no. I got my ass up, and in the office early.

I will leave you with all that garbage above to sift through. I know I need to take a break as my stomach "still is cramping a bit" from that "bad food I had the other night".


Tuesday, April 22

OMG! You want to read this!

I could not help myself. I was reading through the mass amount of e-mail I receive on a a daily basis, clicking the "delete from this list" on my spams and whatnot. When I came across this little story, and I wanted to share with you, my fellow readers, because it is so damn funny!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping.No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt -hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my butt-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech.

Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two butt-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop - molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat,and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads.

I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my butt cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in asstubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now.It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.


Don't laugh too hard! It coulda been one of your cousins!


Monday, April 21

Goodbye to the Weekend

Welcome to Monday - the dreaded day of returning to work - well, maybe for most of us anyways. This past weekend felt like it was too long of a time. I guess I just feel like many things were accomplished - I am not even sure myself.

I found out Friday afternoon that the poker party for Saturday was cancelled. My family had been invited to another friend's for dinner. Her daughter & family were coming over, and most of the kids are close in age to mine. I ended up having to turn that down as the Wife had gotten up that morning and displaced her SI (something to do with her hip/pelvis/back). I helped her with some exercises to work it back into place (she said that is all she can do about it), but she was still sore enough that it was best to cancel this time. Instead, I ended up at the pub that night drinking.

Sunday we lost our 2nd game in the tournament, so are now out til next season (around September) where I have decided to step up to the plate and coach the team. I figured I could get a lot of practice being mean, uncaring, and full of unsavory remarks when someone misses a catch. Might help in the business world, ya know? Actually, I sort of look forward to the challenge.

Sunday afternoon I took the family out to the train yards and they got to ride a couple trains. Uncle Bud, a regular a the pub I go to, is an engineer up there, and he took us all on a ride after hours. the two older boys helped him put up the cars and engine. They had a great time! We followed it up with dinner at Garcia's - then I was in bed by 9:30. I am getting ready now to heat up the left over from dinner last night for lunch to day. I think it is the first time I have had the El Magnifico Sampler, and not eaten it all - a good sign of being able to slow the appetite down and working out I guess... sure sounds good if it isn't true.

It is Monday, and following the small habit I have added a couple pics for today. Sorry Reverend Mother! tomorrow may be better pics for the non-male readers here. Then again, maybe not.

Okay, that's all I have for today so far. If more comes to mind, I'll be back - if not well, we'll see ya tomorrow!

Friday, April 18

Early post for a Friday

I decided I would try to get an early post in today just in case we get to leave early from work - which I doubt, but one never knows. Last week we got off early enough to catch the worst of rush hour traffic. So wonderful.

Let's start out with a joke....

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, 'Who the hell was that?'

'Oh,' replies the husband, 'she's my mistress.' '

Well, that's the last straw,' says the wife. 'I've had enough, I want a divorce.'

'I can understand that,' replies her husband, 'but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.'

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

'Who's that woman with Jim?' asks the wife.

'That's his mistress,' says her husband.

'Ours is prettier,' she replies.

No major plans for the weekend. A friend is having a poker party Saturday night that I will probably attend. Maybe even see if the Wife will go and drive me home afterwards. Sunday there is no Nascar race officially. They are down in Mexico City, so it is not a sanctioned race. I figure I will get the boys back out to the train yards this Sunday and let them ride for awhile.

Okay, I am off for the time being. I need to do my blog reads, and see about getting a little bit of work done.


Thursday, April 17

I can't think of a good post title

Well, here we are again. Stuffing my mouth with leftovers for lunch, and filling your heads with drivel. I think today I am going to just post some random BS and let you sort it out.

Let's start off with some complimentary boobage, courtesy of the 1980's I think.

- Go over and read this post at Dazd's. I think he had a little too much fun putting together that little story for a meme. I got a good laugh out of it. In fact, I saved it to file so I can enjoy it again and again.

- I just remembered I need to call and reserve our rooms for OTL this July. I hope there isn't a deposit needed.

- Speaking of OTL, I am seriously debating if I want to bother with bringing the camera this year. Or even a disposable one. Last year I know I was hoping to have a lot better pics, but was so damn drunk most of the time, well, you saw quite a few of the ones I got. Maybe I will just do a disposable one - but buy it someplace other than at the fields. Danny did that last year, and after taking a roll of pics, found out there was no film in the camera. Worse - he paid $10 for the damn thing.

- I know the media is overstating the badness of it all, but the mortgage market right now is pretty bad. Not near as bad as they try to tell you, but bad enough. I need to get out of this field of work. It is costing me to stay in it. So now try to find a job after some of the large corps here have let 250+ people go. Yeah... real fun.

- I could use a couple shots of Jack about now.

Okay, see, I can't even give ya random thoughts of stuff today. I guess I am going to go out and have a BM and then come back and read an e-book for the afternoon. Only 4 1/2 hours to go - woohoo. Y'all have a good one!


Wednesday, April 16

Some Hot Sauce would be good about now ...

Welcome to Wednesday. I am glad it has finally gotten here, and leaves only half the week left. I am soooo much starting to really hate this job. But it is Hump day, and here is today's Humps - courtesy of Dazd.
At least the tax stuff is all done now. I quickly dropped off the last forms the Wife needed, signed my name, and split last night to go play poker. I should have just stayed home, as I didn't last too long. But at least I got to have a few drinks. I am assuming the Wife didn't have to go to far to get the mail out last night, but I don't know. It was late when I got home, and she was in bed.

That leaves me sitting here, trying to eat my lunch and entertain you. Care for some leftover Porcupine Meatballs? Yeah, I know, some hot sauce would go good with this stuff. But the Wife has to make things bland so the kids will eat it and not complain about it being too spicy.

Welp, enough sitting here and staring at the screen. Y'all have a good one!


Tuesday, April 15


My taxes are not completed as of yet. Yes, I realize it is the 15th of April, and that they need to be date stamped by today. But they are not yet completed and signed as of this exact moment.

Side note: Does anyone know what the penalty for not being date stamped the 15th? Has it happened to anyone – without filing an extension? Just curious….

Anyways, so the Wife is in charge of the taxes. Several years ago, she had decided that she would take over the finances of the family, and the taxes as well. Seems I don’t have the skill she prefers in balancing a checkbook, making payments on time, and knowing how to itemize to save us much more in credits. Yes, I admit it; I would just do it the easy way to get the stuff done.

Either way, she was up until about 1:30 this morning, trying to complete the forms. I know part of it she had done Sunday, as she asked me to D/L some forms for the 1099 I had last year. Now at 1:30am she comes in and asks me to D/L two additional forms.

“What for?” I asked. “Are they worth the time and effort at this point?” I admit I was tired, had just been woken up, and just wanted her to finish the damn things.

“One is for the school credit for all the money we have had to pay for the band class the daughter is in. If I don’t use the credit, then we have to pay taxes to State – enough that we don’t want to pay.” Somehow, she is calm and not hair-pulling exasperated as she is trying to explain this to me. “The other I need for the Federal to deal with a possible Alternative Minimum tax. That form will find out if we need to complete it or not.”

So first thing at work this morning I went and have those docs printed out, to take home to her tonight. I have no idea what time she will finish them, or where she will have to go to get them stamped for today. I assume down town Phoenix. I have to bypass going to poker tonight, as I will probably be the one that has to drive down there – otherwise she may bitch about having to load all the kids into the van. ::sigh:: Hell, I have to be there to sign the forms anyways.

I had to pass up my regular steak dinner last night to get her the first set of forms needed. My steak was replaced by some kind of soup. Soup instead of steak. ::sigh::
And now I will miss poker, and will probably end up watching some video I haven’t seen in awhile. Maybe I’ll watch “The Professional”.

I guess in the end it sort of works out pretty good. At least my liver is saying that. I haven’t had a drink since Sunday. The liver is getting a good clean out. I am drinking so much water; I have to pee at least once an hour – even after I got to bed. I must have gotten up at least 4 times last night. Okay, like you care about my regularity.

No pics for today. I think I need to see if I can spend some time looking for some good ones again. Have a good one, and we will catch ya back here next time!


Monday, April 14

Back to the Grind

I am a day behind still. Things were off the regular timing, and I feel like I gained a weekend day, but lost one somewhere as well. I am so confused.

Friday night I enjoyed a bacci ball party at a friend's home. Usually, he has them on Saturday afternoons - which is where I think I gained a day. I had gotten a last minute offer for Nascar tickets, but passed on them as I had made plans for me and the boys. So Saturday, we ran them out to the train park, where they give rides on the trains for donation only. Well, I felt like a heel now as they only run this on Sundays, and here it was Saturday. My oldest boy had overheard me telling the Wife about the 2 tickets I had been offered. "Are we going to the race Dad?" I had to explain that no, because I had made plans to do this event with the boys instead. So now I know he wants to go, I will be trying for tickets this November for he and I to go. Kind of nice they race here twice a year!

Sunday started our softball tournament, and again, we started with a loss. We play next Sunday and if we lose again we are out. I spent the afternoon at the pub and came home to take the family out to dinner. The Wife needed some additional tax forms printed out, but our printer was on the fritz. We had gotten a another one, I just never got around to hooking it up. So last night I started doing that. Oops! Need a USB cable. So I printed out the forms she needed today. It will be a touchy night as she works on finishing them up to be mailed on the 15th. I don't know why she always waits til the last minute to do them...
Now we are off to the pics! Let's start out with some nice looking beer .....
... that can segue right into a good mix of beer on some boobies ....
... and just because I can .... some more boobies ....
... last but not least - the REAL THING!! BOOBIES!!!

Blue footed ones at that! Hope y'all had/are having a good Monday. See ya next time!

Friday, April 11

Finally a day where I can relax!

Let's start off with a big YEEHAW! because it is Friday and I am glad!!

I don't know what happened to yesterday. I didn't get a post in, and I wasn't busy at work. I must have just lost track of time surfing the net for stuff - like this:
Yup, gotta love the boobage. Of course, I don't know why, but I am trying to keep it fairly low keyed. But sometimes it just gets too exciting...
See, that kid knows what I am talking about!!
Yeah doggie dog! My kinda toy! Anyways, so Nascar is in Phoenix this weekend, and I am not going to be able to go. Unfortunately was unable to find a ticket, and I don't really have the money to buy one. Thought about just going to the track and partying with some people I know in RVs, but nah. Instead I am going to take the three boys up to the train yard and ride the trains. They are the smaller ones that ride like 1 kid to a car. A friend from the pub works up there as an engineer, etc.

I came across this pic somewhere - I didn't do the circle in red, but I do like answer #4. Looks like a class of 6 year olds and she is training them right!

Tonight has decent plans. One of my buds is having a bacci ball party this eve at his place. So after work I shall endeavor to quaff a few beers, and etc. prior to going home. Glad he lives pretty close to me.

Sunday starts our softball tournament. Hopefully we will win our first game. It's double elimination, and it sucks to lose the first 2 games right away.

Okay, I started feeling a bit guilty (read - not really, but came across this) for the ladies that actually read this drivel. Enough has been going on about boobies that I could find something for them. Here ya go!
For the times we are just not around.

How about a joke for you, extra special because it is Friday!!

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are
chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men.

That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and
a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he
found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He
saw me and said, "You are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we
made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office
and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
wild sex all night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for
the night when my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice,
black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he
came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

Okay, I think that is going to conclude the posting for the moment anyways. I am thinking about hitting Taco Bell for some chihuahua meat tacos for lunch.


Wednesday, April 9

Happy Hump Day

Imagine if you were living back in 1919 or so- about the time of prohibition. Would you still drink after seeing this ad?I think I would have been a major alcoholic!! And to think these are somebody's relatives in the photo. ::shudder::

So last night I ended up 5th on the big table for poker. Not a bad finish, but it would have been nice to be in the pay out spots of 1st or 2nd. Then again, I stayed out too late due to the number of people asking me to sing a certain song, or do a duet. I gotta stop doing karaoke one of these days. Like that will happen anytime soon!

Today being Hump Day of the week, I decided I would go a-hunting for some humps. First I went to the most used search engine on the web.

... and began to try many, many different word combinations to bring me the choicest pics of the web. Dazd had emailed me a wonderful pic, that would be a perfect slam dunk, but I can't get it to transfer correctly. It's one of them animated GIFs ya know. But I did find some nice ones for today. Remember tongue twisters in school? Well, Shelly here, sells seashells by the seashore.

... or how much would that be in sand dollars? Change for a $5?
Here's another funny one I found as well. I am sure we can imagine how hot it gets is Australia during their summers. Nothing like finding some shade for yer Fosters!!

That seems to complete my pictorial today. Had some boobies and beer. Now if I could just get quitting time to get here faster I would be happy. Hope you have a good Hump Day and y'all come back again tomorrow!!


Tuesday, April 8

Poker in the front, liquor in the rear

Today is Poker Tuesday for me. So tonight I shall head down to the pub and start chugging some Buds and play a few rounds of Texas Hold'em - and hope I win. Right now I am in the mood to play, but who knows what can happen in the next few hours....

So I noticed the numbers of readers has increased a bit over the past couple of days. I tell ya, KeesKennis is doing one heck of a job getting all them referrals over here! Must have to do with the issue of pics of boobies and beer. Either way, be sure you click on his link to return the favor and besides, he has some awesome pics all over his place!

Welp, I ain't got much going on today either. Just you wimmins out there reading this don't be too upset at me. I am only a man. Besides Rodney Carrington said it best .... (click here). I think I will go and pick that song up for karaoke tonight.

Alrighty. Just to stay up, here's a pic for the road.


Monday, April 7

A Challenge? OR just a great idea?

I have been called out upon in a challenge, it seems. KeesKennis has evidently taken to heart my feelings about a pic he had posted last week, where I had "brought to mine better eyesight" a couple pics I posted last Friday.

Alas, you must read his post before going further, so you understand more of the situation. Go here.

Now that you are back, let's see if I can follow those rules he has set down. And who is to say that it is for Mondays only??

Let's start with some prayer ...
And now maybe some music too? For you band geeks - LOW BRASS KICKS ASS! Right Freddie?
Okay, that concludes the beer portion for today. We can move right along into the boobies section (sorry Reverend mother). I try to be somewhat not quite too R rated, and today I think I managed to keep it a good PG-13. Maybe some other days I won't ::shrug:: who knows?

Gotta like that two for the price of one!! And Danielle below, not too bad by herself neither!!

Lastly, I give you a bonus!! I call this one "Caught in the Act"!! I wonder what I would do in that situation?

Okay, I am done for the day now. Kees, I luv ya buddy! Keep on, keepin' on!!

All good things come to an end

Yes. That saying is true. Here it is now Monday and the great weekend I had is now over. Usually I am very un-energized when it comes to Mondays, knowing I am going into work again and facing 5 days of boredom. But today, I feel pretty pepped up. I don't know if it is because I slept really good last night, or the fact I actually made my ass get out of bed and go to the gym this morning. Maybe a bit of both.

Saturday was a good day. I participated int he video golf tournament and tied for 2nd place. Instead of doing a sudden death playoff, the two of us just split the combined 2nd & 3rd place pay offs. So I made $45 after the $20 buy-in. Then I played poker that night and ended up about 7th - but no payout there. Sunday, the driver I had in the pool took third place, so another $50 was won there. By this point, I was ready to go to the casino, but instead took the time to take the family out for dinner.

So that brings us to this point, where I have nothing inspiring, or drastic to share. Maybe I will just leave a couple jokes for you, and move on for the day.

A wife complains, "Our wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."

The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."

And one more just because....

Q: You know what's the worst part of getting a lung transplant?
A: The first few times you cough, the phlegm that comes not your own.

Alrighty folks. I think that will make the list for today. Be sure to tune back in tomorrow where I might even have something to bitch about. In the meantime, I am waiting for 5 more hours to escape the workplace and go have some steak dinner and read my newest Harlan Coben book "The Woods".


Friday, April 4

Friday is upon us once again

Here I am again, counting down the hours until I can get out of the office for another weekend. Of course, I seem to do that on a daily basis, but today it makes the time go by so much slower.

So, what does the weekend hold in store for the D00d, you wonder? Doesn't sound like much, but I am sure it will end up being busy. I figure I will start out with a trip to the gym in the morning, followed by a trip to a local hangout for a free breakfast. Yeah, I said free breakfast. I mean we are talking three eggs, two sausages, two bacon strips, a nice big handful of hash browns and 4 pieces of toast. Of course, it all is to be washed down with a nice beer (or several). No wonder I am going to the gym in the morning! Breakfast is to be followed by a Golden Tee video golf tournament at same place in the afternoon. I should be nice and prime for that!

Sunday is of course spent with softball in the morning followed by Nascar at the pub. Then the weekend is over. Doesn't seem like much, but the time it takes to do all that ... Next week Nascar is here at PIR and will be a Saturday night race. I am hoping to score a ticket somewhere for a decent price for decent seats, but I don't know how my luck will hold up.

I had the daily dose of "BLECH!" thanks to KeesKennis this morning (See his April 3rd post). Due to that moment of sickening eyesore eye opening pic, I decided I needed to reclaim my idea of how things should look.

Sorry Reverend Mother, but you may not want to scroll down.

As to the rest of you, you are on your own. Hope y'all have a good weekend and see ya back on Monday!!


Thursday, April 3

All Dried Up

Literally, I am all dried up today. If I could manage enough saliva to spit, I would be surprised. I think it was the leftover pork chop I brought into lunch on Tuesday that is to blame for this. I awoke yesterday morning with the urge to displace the contents of my stomach, which proceeded to occur once I relocated myself to the correct place. Then it was more removal of items from the other direction. Yes, I know you love hearing about this.

Needless to say, the cramps that followed forced me to place that call to work saying I am not feeling well enough to make it in. Then swallowed a good portion of Pepto-Bismo. Oh god, do I hate that pink stuff. I try my best to hold it down, with only about 10 minutes of luck.

As you can imagine, the rest of the day was spent trying to hold down some water, then some broth - all this amidst the 15 minute warnings saying it sure don't seem like a fart. I don't know which hurts more today - my ass from the wipings, or my stomach from the hurls.

So now that I have ruined your lunch, I am off to see if I can find something that will settle on mine.


Tuesday, April 1

April Fools Day

Okay, this is where I play a trick on you. All done. Glad we got that over with.

Today is a typical Tuesday, feels like Wednesday, wish it was Friday. Got a few things accomplished at work. Yee Haw. Going out for poker tonight.

Was supposed to have a training via the internet regarding this new software. But of course I flubbed it up. It started at 8am Pacific time. I forgot about the time change and figured that would be 9 my time. Nope. We are on the same time frame for the summer. So I missed like 45 minutes of the training. Now I have to read the training manual and see what I can figure out. That or wait until next week to take the class again. But the boss is on my ass already to learn it, so I can show him how to use it. Take your own frickin' class!!

Alrighty. Two hours to go to get out of here. See ya laters.