Friday, June 29

Happy Friday - Enjoy!

Since things are slow in the office so far today, I went surfing. I couldn't find anything interesting to write about, so I declared today as Picture Friday, and am sharing some I found today.

Enjoy your weekend, I know I am going too.


Let's start off our Friday a little slow...

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

Stole that one from Dragonwatch. Never thought it would come out that way though.

Thursday, June 28

Pure Beauty

I say ya gotta love it when someone just happens to find something that fits, and they give it to ya. this here pic comes from the land of Dazd (click his name). He thought it may be appropriatly displayed here, and I agree. My thanks to you Dazd! It's better than that cat and cookie pic from the other day.

Speaking of cookies, I am 'supposed' to have some more made available on Sunday for the race. We'll see if they show up this time.

Nothing much else for today. I am actually busy with work for the time being.


Another Punny

Peter and Alfred Nussbaum were tailors and partners in the firm Nussbaum Brothers. After many years they decided to Anglicize their names and henceforth the firm should be known as the Nuss Brothers.

After completing the legal paperwork, they informed the receptionist, Ethel, that from Monday on she should answer the phone as "Nuss Brothers."

"I quit," said Ethel.

"But why?", asked Peter, "the pay and benefits will be the same!"
"Yeah? Well, YOU answer the phone then. I don't want to answer and find that the caller says he wants to speak with Mr. Nuss. Then I have to say..... "Yes Sir; which one? P-Nuss or A-Nuss?"

Morning Humor

Some jokes that have come in the e-mail today to wake you up this morning.

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough daytrying to get a stay of execution for a client whowas due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His lastminute plea for clemency to the governor had failedand he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, hiswife started on him about, "What time of night is thisto be getting home? Where have you been? Dinner iscold and I'm not reheating it" And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiarritual, he went and poured himself a double shot ofwhiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in thebathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarksas he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright , had been granted a stay of execution afterall. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must havehad, she decided to go upstairs and give him the goodnews. As she opened the bathroom door, she wasgreeted by the sight of the front of her husband,naked, bent over, drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said. To which he whirled around and screamed,


Wednesday, June 27

Remembrances, and a story from a friend

Yesterday was the first anniversary of Acidman passing away. I have read several blogs that give him wonderful tribute, and were written by people that knew him better than I. I am not going to go long on this subject, but I felt he deserves some words from me. I had been reading his site for about a year or more prior to his death. It brought me into those other realms, specifically Hoosierboy, Dax, Elisson, SWG and many more. Rob is missed in my heart as well.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine shared a story from a Father's Day past. My friend Bob is a middle aged gent, and one Father's Day had the idea to take his father (who was single) and his son (also single) to Las Vegas for the weekend. It wasn't recounted to me the number of days/nights they were there, but one night while out gambling on the casino floor, Todd (the son) had met up with a very attractive and endowed lady. Being the good son he is, he checked with his dad, Bob, about using the room for awhile. Both Bob and Gramps said to go ahead, as they were going to be out playing for some time.

After approximately an hour or so, Todd comes back down and tells Bob and Gramps that one of them is to go up next. So Gramps says he is going up. Bob gets this look of disbelief on his face and asks his dad if he knows what he is doing. Gramps says he does, and heads on up. He is gone for an hour or so, then he returns and informs Bob it is now his turn. Bob heads on up and has what's on the menu, then Todd basically gets rid of the lady. The next day they see her in the casino again, and happened to ask a security guard about her. Seems she had been found in a hallway somewhere else in the motel. Must of been some lucky other guy that night too.

I never heard anywhere in the retelling of money being exchanged or what, but I heard about three generations that had a hell of a night in Vegas. Guess new meaning to 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas'. now y'all may not thought that tremendously funny, but maybe I just didn't tell it right, because when Bob told it to me, it was funny.

Alright, enough wastin' time on doing nothing. I'll see if we can't get some better content later today, or even tomorrow.


Tuesday, June 26

Now Where did I put that...?

Ever wonder where those 'great' ideas in your head disappear to after time? I am really beginning to wonder. Last night after work I decided to get some reading time in at the bar, and maybe a small steak too. In the middle of my second beer, letting some air pressure off after eating, I had a damn good idea for a story. 'I need to write that down' thought myself. But damn it! Again I forgot my little notebook on which I try to write down ideas/story lines/events. For the life of me I cannot remember what it was, but I know it was damn good!

Then the wee hours of this morning, I am in that half-asleep stage. The dream that was happening, was so 'in-line' with my story idea (that I still had not remembered) and I had to pen it down quickly to remember later. I sat up and grabbed the notebook and pen, started jotting away. After about 20 seconds or so I figured I had it completed enough, and returned to bed. This morning I get up and look to see what I had wrote -

"Too many files...
denied, but fucked up"

"redheaded neckers"

"Blue River songs down away"

I swear that is what I had written. For lack of anything I sort of figured out what it all meant, or at least a possible interpretation. The first part about files, and being denied - had to do something with work. "Redheaded neckers" and "Blue River songs down away" I must have been thinking of that Roy Clark song "Rednecks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer" which I had listened to earlier in the evening. Update: It's been a long time since I had a Pabst. Don't see it out here.

So I learned to not necessarily write down anything when I am half asleep. Bad enough that the Wife says I talk about stuff in my sleep. I always ask if it was interesting, to which she says no. Sometimes she'll describe a phone conversation that I am having, and I do both parties on the phone. I am sure that is a hoot. Speaking of hooters... last night while at the bar, there came in this moderately purty gal, with a nice set of hooters, followed by her friend, the big bad biker dude - who actually was way cool and nice. Anyways, whilst out on the back patio (smoker's area) she come out there and asking if I was that one wrestler dude from TV. C'mon now! I may be teddy bear sized and what not, but I ain't no damn rassler. So for several minutes that was all she could ask me, which of course I kept denying, then asking her which one. Finally her friend came out, and she was like "I have to go". So she asked for my autograph, where once again I told her I was not a wrestler, but went ahead and signed my name on the napkin and put the website address under my name. Just think, Ralphd00d the Wrestler, on

See ya in the Ring!!!


Monday, June 25

You Can't Always Get What You Want

... but I almost did this weekend. The bees got taken care of - actually, they left on their own. I never had to call an exterminator. Saturday I awoke in a pretty good mood - and so was the Wife. It cost me lunch for the family, but was well worth it. We spent part of the afternoon buying the oldest son a summer wardrobe. Seems all his shorts and shirts for summer he has just outgrown in 2 weeks time. I know it is time for him to have a growth spurt, so we bought the clothes a size 1/2 plus so hopefully they will last through the fall. Then I went out drinking for the evening. Sunday, my friend Ginny came back from vacation in Ohio, and we sat up and watched the race. Again my driver failed to win, and I didn't get cookies as I had been told earlier in the week. So I got everything but the cookies from Friday's post. Not a bad weekend.

Work seemed to pick up some last week, but today I couldn't tell. The Wife goes in sometime soon here for some arthroscopic surgery on the knee. She has a meniscus tear, and had the same procedure done about 2 years ago on the other knee. I am just practicing and biding my time for San Diego. I have a half-sister about 11 years younger than I, and I received an e-mail saying she is in California the same time I will be. I might get to see her for the first time in about 3 years or so.

Nothing much else going on. I'll let ya get on with what ya will.


update: Hell, I forgot to mention that I did go see DCI last night. Once again, low brass kicks ass!

Friday, June 22

Bees, Beers, Cookies - hope for boobies and nookie

Lord help us all, it is finally Friday and I am ready to start drinking! I was a good boy last night and went home to spend time with the kids and Wife, but ended up going to bed early. The kids found a wonderful thing in the backyard - a beehive. It is growing/hanging about halfway up the lemon tree, and consists of easily several hundred bees. We are calling for an exterminator today that can hopefully get out there today or this weekend. Another mess I don't need.

This weekend I am going to be feeling out of sorts. Saturday will probably be a regular day, but our softball season has ended, and I have no reason to get up early on Sundays now. The Reverend Mother would love it if I came to church with my family, but we all know that ain't gonna happen. So a few nights ago I was talking to the bartender, who happens to work Sunday afternoons, and she said it was a late NASCAR race (doesn't start til like 12:30) and she was making cookies for me. So now I have a reason to get out of bed before noon anyways.

Now that my weekend is pretty much planned, I only got two more things that would top it off nicely - boobies and nookie. I'll have to see about doing something extra nice for the Wife tomorrow, and see if that increases the chances. If not, I may have to take drastic measures and buy jewelry or something.

Okay I need to move along here. Need to write a letter to the grandparents, and explain why I still haven't taken a picture of the Wife and I to update their albums. Maybe I can do that this weekend too. I dunno. Either way, y'all have a good weekend, and we'll talk at ya laters.


update for Dazd - Steve will probably be there tonight. But he more than likely will not talk to me.

AD: Oversharing? Is there such a thing?

Mark: yes, that could possibly work.

I never would have guessed...

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating

I guess I don't say fuck enough.

Thursday, June 21

Men and their Conversations

How many times have we seen the list of "Men Rules" being passed around? And each time we get it, automatically, it gets forwarded to our friends - well, at least I do - and I usually forward one copy to the Wife, so she can keep updated. That list is about giving blow jobs to keep the man happy, etc, etc. designed for the woman to keep in mind.

I was at the bar the other night (go figure - where else would I be) and I happened to be sitting next to a guy I'll call Steve. Now this guy & I, we know each others names, but never really hung out together. We happened to get some convo going whilst watching whatever on the TV, I noticed some weird things. Let me give you some background. Steve is single, I am married. He's about 7-8 years younger than I I would guess. We both work, enjoy our time at the bar, etc. We have some of the same tastes in music and movies - all around we are fairly equal guys.
This is like an outline of our convo:

A. Small talk
1.) how ya doing?
2.) how's work?
3.) how's g/f or family?
B. Story Time
1.) My GF/girl I met went out
2.) Penthouse forum story
a.) my denial of such story
b.) five minutes of swearing it is true
c.) again denial of story
3.) new Forum story
a.) denial
4.) new forum story
b.) I offer that the Wife and I had sex 3 weeks ago.
c.) descriptive narrative of this girl compared to others he has conquered
d.) Wife comparison - she was a cheerleader in HS
e.) I am informed I need to get some "fresh meat" and not the same "bag" all the time
5.) No fresh meat because of the anal warts and hemorrhoid problem I have.
a.) I am grossing him out, don't talk about that stuff.
b.) At least it is true, unlike your forum stories, and your falsified ideas about where certain parts of the female anatomy are - well, not the anal wart part anyway
B.) cigarette break
C.) Steve is gone

So men can have conversations where they make up stories of sexual encounters, but cannot speak of the one that is true and that they were lucky to get with the Wife. We also can't talk about an actual pain in our ass, unless it is part of a joke. Lastly, that some men just have no clue to the anatomy of a woman, and makes me wonder of themselves as well.

I have no idea what I am to really learn from this, but it was interesting, and kept popping up in my head. And people wonder why I take a book to the bar....


Wednesday, June 20

Feel the Power Within Me

Wow. Yesterday, it was like everyone in the world read my little bitch about reading at the bar. I went up there last night, and wasn't bothered by anyone, and a few people just would tap me as they passed say Hi. I must have been exuding some force that made it work out good. I dunno, but was happy. I finished up one book and was able to start another, and still be home before 10pm.

It is Hump day, and I know exactly where I am going tonight. It is Sloppy Judilicious day at the pub and I think I will call and have a couple reserved for me when I get off work. Might even get lucky and the boys will be there to play some golf - but then I don't know. They ditched me last night and went somewhere else without calling me. I don't know why they do that. Maybe they just hate getting there asses beat by a youngster.

Not much to write about today. Work has been great this morning and I still have stuff to get taken care of. Now if most days would be this way, I would be happier. Y'all have a good one and see ya tomorrow.


Tuesday, June 19

Reading in Public

I am sure many of you out there are avid readers, as I am, and love to sit down with a good book. That is, when and/or if you find the time to do so, between the kids, errands, work, etc, etc. I mean for some people, I am sure it is better than sexual excitement to be able to get an hour alone with a book ... I don't know for sure, and if you are one of them, I don't want to know - or maybe in a weird perverted way I do want to know. ::shrug::

Back to the topic. So I enjoy reading, and one of the ways I get some quiet time to read is by doing it outside the home. When you have four kids, I am sure you can imagine the yelling/fighting/screaming/he-said-she-said/they-touched-me-first/I-wanna-watch-this/blah-blah-blah/baby-crying-dirty-diaper ... ARGH!!!!! And that's the first 15 minutes when I get home. ::sigh:: So I tend to have a book or two in my car, and I will head down to one of my local hangouts (read 'bars') to relax and do some reading.

For the life of me, it is almost as bad there as it is at home. Old people coming by and interrupting your reading - "You'll ruin your eyes" or "I don't know how you can read in a bar". C'mon! Compared to the alternative think I can't tune out some old fogies that can't read the neon sign without magnifying lenses? Then the other half starts in. These are the ones that are seemingly trying to be unobtrusive. "What are you reading?" or "Is that book good?" or something said aside to someone else "That's funny seeing someone read in this place. I wonder why?" I love to just smack them and say "So I won't have to waste my life making conversation with someone that doesn't understand my desire to read. Now STFU!"


Okay, that is off my chest now. Is anyone able to give me reverse point of view, I would love to hear it. I mean, if I went to a bar, and there is my buddy sitting there reading a book, I am going to at least stop and say hi. If he is like me, he would say something like "Let me get to a stopping point" or maybe just mark the page and close the book. I do that as well if I want to talk to someone. If he don't want to chat, then he would just say so. No skin off my nose unless we had made arrangements to meet up to talk or something. Just running into a friend ain't no matter.

Yeah, as if you couldn't guess, that is what happened (for the zillionth time it seems) last night. The sad part is it doesn't matter what bar I go to, it is the same old thing - whether they are people I know, or not. At least I got more reading in than I would have if I were at home. Plus the drinks are a bonus ... and the steak dinner.


Monday, June 18

Work = Weekend Recovery

Well, the weekend is over and here I am am again at my desk wishing for something to do. Thanks for the many of you that passed Father's Day wishes out, and happy returns to those of you that are fathers as well. My weekend seemed to fly by, considering nothing was celebrated.

Saturday, I took the brood to lunch, and then proceeded to go shopping. I was looking for a golf ball retriever for my step dad, and the Wife was looking for something for her father. Wife had mentioned to me Friday night, that anything I bought myself Saturday would count as my father day gifts. So I ended up buying a couple sleeve-less workout shirts. The Wife picked out a tie for her dad, and then picked out a pair of Capri's for herself. I reminded her that the items purchased were to be father day gifts. I got he glare and she reminded me that some presents hadn't shown up on Mother's day either. I bought her the Capri's. Never did find the retriever, even after going to several stores, including sports stores. We swung by my mom's place, as she had some freshly made salsa for me. From her I got a LA Dodgers beach towel. I asked her what tom would want, and she said to get him a beach towel too. So I am going out this week to find one as I had no time the rest of the weekend.

Sunday we had our last double header softball game for the season, so I was up at the ball field. Afterwards I went to the bar for steak, and to watch the race. Again, my pool driver didn't win me anything, and actually finished up 2 laps down - bastid! I went home early evening and because I could, ordered pizza and we sat down to watch "Ghost Rider". I lasted about 15 minutes then headed for bed.

Anxiously counting the days now to OTL in San Diego. Just under 30 days until the event. I have started deciding what I need to take, and getting things together. I need to pick up some disposable cameras, and some good sun block for me.

I have a new cell phone now. The Wife and I went and upgraded them Saturday. We had some old fashioned Nokias from 2 years ago, and now have a samsung. It feels too little and I can't ever hear the damn thing ring - even with vibrate on and in my pocket. We got them for 29.99 each and a $20 mail in rebate, but damn if I should have picked out something better. It's so damn small, I forgot it this morning. Sounds like a good excuse to go to the bar, and not have to worry about the Wife calling me.... hehehehe.

Okay, enough from me for now. I am off to have some lunch at Denny's I think, and then try to find some work to do, or read my book.


Friday, June 15

Simple Friday post

The computer network has been down most of the morning here at work, so I am just taking a small bit of time to post this today. ANyone that wants can do the meme. Y'all have a good weekend and see ya on Monday!


"LALOLKFATYK" - not the sound of a cat coughing up a particularly gruesome hairball, but the "Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know" meme.

I read it over at Groanin’ Jock, and decided it would work for apost for me today.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My father and grandfather

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? About 3 weeks ago – wast watching ‘Field of Dreams’ for the millionth time.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I write in capitals, as my proper handwriting is just a scrawl so yes.


DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Ummm, yeah – 4 of them


DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, every day


WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No, never. I have a fear of falling from high places.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Frosted Flakes – Theyyyyy’re Great!


DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically, so-so. Mentally – yes.



RED OR PINK? For what?

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I’m lazy and a bit overweight – too lazy to exercise


WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue denim shorts and sandals

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Sub sandwich from Subway

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Me typing and a fan blowing


FAVOURITE SMELLS? Fresh baked cookies, fresh cut grass, nature after a rainstorm



HAIR COLOUR[S]? Brown, silver sides gray in the beard.

EYE COLOR? hazel

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but I need glasses

FAVOURITE FOOD? Chili Con Carne. Turkey enchiladas, STEAK



WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Tan polo shirt with white golf clubs across the chest




MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea – I didn’t send it to anyone

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Everyone that doesn’t want to do this

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? ‘Proven Guilty’” by Jim Butcher – part of the Harry Dresden, Wizard series

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? At work it's plain gray with company logo on it. At home it is a Max Payne pad

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? At the bar – last of the NBA finals

FAVOURITE SOUND[S]? children laughing, soft classical music.

ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES? I don’t really care for either, but if I had to chose, the Beatles


DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can play nearly all brass instruments, a little bit of flute and piano, guitar



Thursday, June 14

Some Little Tidbits for now

I was doing my cruisin' of blogs, and found this story.

I don't know what I will do if that ends up getting worse. I may die of dehydration!

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Okay, nothing else to share right now. Still waiting to see who claims 5000th hit. That way I can announce to the world, and give you fame and fortune, well, at least a moderate amount of attention if nothing else.

I think I am off to see if I can get some more writing done. Work is going to be a slow one today.


Best Rainbow Picture

I seldom pass along inspirational stuff, but this one spoke to me. I believe, in these difficult times in which we live, there needs to be a message of Hope. We can all use a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace, and joy. An image that suggests the universality of us all. I have been sent that image, and I want to share it with you all. All I ask is that all of you take a moment to reflect on it.

5000th Visitor!

Boobies And BeerBy Details > Visit DetailVisit 5,000

Domain Name ? (Network)
IP Address 68.231.2.# (Cox Communications)
ISP Cox Communications
Continent : North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : Arizona
City : Phoenix
Lat/Long : 33.5222, -112.0839 (Map)
Distance : 5 miles (local visitor)
Language English (United States)en-us

Time of Visit Jun 13 2007 10:38:32 pm
Last Page View Jun 13 2007 10:38:37 pm
Visit Length 5 seconds
Page Views 1
Referring URL
Visit Entry Page http://ralphd00d.blo...07/06/newsflash.html
Visit Exit Page http://ralphd00d.blo...07/06/newsflash.html
Out Click
Time Zone UTC-8:00
Visitor's Time Jun 13 2007 9:38:32 pm
Visit Number 5,000

Now, I notice it is someone local here in Phx, but I have no clue as to whom. If you can leave a comment if you think it is you, I can check the time stamp to the details and verify.

Thanks to all of you that helped get to this number! Looking forward to the next 5000 hits!


Wednesday, June 13

Updated story chapter

Okay, I have been sooo productive this afternoon. Head over to the story site and catch the latest chapter I have conked out of my head for your reading enjoyment. Or you can just click HERE to get there.

Even I must wonder where this road leads ...

Hey, I just noticed that someone is going to be # 5000. I still don't have any idea for a prize - it may take a day or two...


D-I-V-O-R-C-E sucks no matter how you spell it

How many of you remember that country/western hit by Tammy Wynette? It's been a few years since I heard it myself, and it is a crappy topic to pick today as well. But sometimes you just have to face the facts that people do get divorces, more frequently nowadays than I think it should be.

Let's cool off some of ya right now. No, it is not The Wife and I getting one. So rest easy there. It's one of my good friends (and currently my boss) that is in the beginning stages of one happening. He's been married for 3 years, and his wife is a nice lady. I have known her for about 6 years when they first started dating, and have known him for a few years longer. He had mentioned that they were going to Splitsville a couple weeks ago to me, and I of course did not say anything or push the issue as to why - that's what people politely do I figured.

Well last night I was out with a couple other friends of mine to play some video golf. After our second game, I noticed that he and his wife had come in the bar, and after my friends left I went over and joined them. I had my handy-dandy book with me, as usual, for backup if things went wrong. Then something happened. My friend got a bit angry and loud (go figure - he's like 6'4" an built like a football player) at what I am not sure. Needless to say he left, leaving his wife there. So now she is talking to me and complaining about things that are going wrong in their marriage, etc, etc. I finally just told her I had to get my ass home and left.

Just shows how divorces suck not only for those parties that are splitting. At least there were no kids involved. How am I supposed to stay friends with both of them?

So now I have been in a crappy mood today. At least the boss doesn't ask what happened after he left last night. Of course, I would have said his wife and I talked, but I sure as hell wouldn't say about what subject.

I need something to cheer me up, and I know exactly what it will be. I received notice I have a package at the post office to pick up. I think I will leave work early and get it. Should be the latest 2 books I ordered from the Sci-Fi bookclub. At least, I am hoping it is. Then on to home. I am craving a roast beef sandwich today... Sorry to bore y'all, but sometimes I just gotta get some shit off my chest.


Tuesday, June 12


Rudy pushing for a better America....

The Wife met a Munchkin!

Welcome to a wonder Tuesday edition of "I'm bored - so what do I do now?" No - really.

Okay, so the Wife comes home last night, or rather, when I got home late last night, the Wife had a little story for me. For those of you that missed it before (if I ever mentioned it) the Wife is a physical therapist, and currently works in a facility with geriatrics (old people). For some reason, she really enjoys her work. Anyways, she tells me "I met someone famous today."

Me: Someone famous? At work?

Wife: Yes. At work.

Me: (I'm thinking who is famous and old enough to be in where she works - mind draws blanks) So... who?

Wife: One of the original munchkins.

Me: Munchkins? As in the 'Wizard of Oz' munchkins? That sing 'Ding Dong the Witch is dead'?

Wife: Yes.

Me: Hmmm, a midget in physical rehab. Makes me think Granny midget Amputee Porn thoughts.

Wife: That's not nice!

Me: Oh well. G'nite. (This is where I proceed to sleep)

So she met an original Munchkin from the 'Wizard of Oz'. Something I should be excited about? Well, if their signature was worth some money, you bet I would be all over it... sometimes I just have different priorities than The Wife.

I added my first prize I have won online in the side bar from Groanin' Jock's site. The first of many to arrive I am sure. (buffing nails on shirt).

Well, as I sit here and munch on those Macadamian cookies, I cannot think of anything beneficial, or even funny to say at the moment. Soooo ... let's try something different. Hell, what's different when it comes to me? Everything is weird!

I gotta get back to some things on my desk. Hopefully I will think of something and be back to post more, if not, wait in suspense until tomorrow....


Monday, June 11

Women, Flirting, and Marriage

This is going to be an awkward post for me, and trying to get my point (if there is one - or maybe I will be just bragging) across to you.

I have been married for 16 wonderful years and have been blessed (cursed?) with four kids. My wife is my high school sweetheart, and I only "dated" one other lady in HS, prior to my wife. But once that ring goes on the finger, I couldn't believe the number of women that would talk/flirt/ask me out. I mean, before I was like a leper, but once that ring went on, I could have had a date any night of the week!

Needless to say, I flirted back with the women that flirted with me, and the Wife knew what was going on. She had no issue with it as long as it stayed just friendly flirting. Which, trust me, was as far as I wanted it go for my own purposes. I made some friends, I lost some friends - you know how times change as do minor acquaintances and places you hang out.

Over the years, I have met many people, from a variety of venues. Lately, I have started to wonder how does that "charm" or whatever ya wanna call it, inside me attracts them, that makes them want to do things FOR me, not necessarily TO me. I mean, c'mon. I am a heavy-set guy, with average looks; I been told I got a damn good voice; I am generally friendly and open. Normally, a guy like me would be the one a woman would sort of just glance over - or maybe spend little time talking to whilst waiting for someone else better looking or something.

But I've got a secret something I can't figure out. Women just LIKE me. I don't mean Like/Lust, or love/lust, or maybe not just lust ... but they do things for me. For example, this last weekend I had one of the bartenders at my regular hangout make me cookies. And not just cookies, but my favorites Macadamian White Chocolate, AND Chocolate Chip. This was not the first time she has done that. Hell, I had a patron of the bar one night come in with Macadamian cookies for me, and I didn't even know her, but she heard I liked those kind of cookies.

Cookies are great! I never would turn them down, but that is not all I get. I get offers of rides home after I been drinking - even if it is out of their way. Okay, maybe they just want me to be safe. I have had offers for trips for a day or two to somewhere out of town (not a chance). Every now and then I get a little present of some sort. And then there are the women that I talk with, that some flirt, and others just like talking to me, and I mean more than just being someone sitting at a bar for them to talk to.

Here's the one I really like. Women bartenders really piss off my friends. Four of us can walk into any one of the handful or so regular bars we go to, and the bartender comes over to take our order, with my drinks in hand. Then actually asks them what they want. I love it! Maybe that means I am a drunk and I visit there to often.... no! It's cause they like me.

Maybe I am just being conceited, and I would gladly listen to any of my friends dispute any of this... but I do get that preferential treatment 90% of the time. I get more hugs than I can count. Cookies, presents, etc. what more do I need to say?

Conceited? Possibly.

Fictitious? No way.

Loving every minute of it? You betcha!

Think I be lying? Good luck trying to prove it!


Close, but still wrong ...

Yup. I was wrong twice last week. First, the Wife and kids didn't come home until Saturday. And secondly, I didn't hit 5K on the sitemeter. I am just guessing everything wrong. Go figure. Either way now, the Wife and kids are home, and the sitemeter will hit 5K probably by Thursday. Still thinking if I should do some sort of prize or not - and then figure out an idea for one.... Speaking of prizes, I got one from Groanin Jock for scoring best on his movie quiz test. And I didn't cheat, I used the best resources available. I'd post it but Blgger is not allowing me to post any pics at this moment. I don't know what is wrong with it. I'll get it up soon though - maybe on a sidebar.

Work is off to slow start, so I am on my way to read the blogs I read daily. If y'all think of a good prize, let me know...


Friday, June 8

Fun Week is Over

Yes, everything good must come to a close. On this particular day, we are ending Bachelor Week at my house. In fact, the Wife and kids will probably be home by the time I get out of work - unless I get to leave early. I am glad they are back though. I did miss them this week - except for the fighting, and arguing - and the blame pacing - and the extra money it costs for dinner.So, to celebrate the coming of the end, I went out last night to 5030's. Stayed to last call (about 1:45am) before getting smart and heading home.

This weekend is going to be a slow one I feel. I think I am going to spend most of it in bed with a book. I have plenty to read. That and spend some make-up time with the kids. I am such good daddy like that.

Y'all run off and play. Read some of them thar links on the side - ya might find a new place to read!


Take this quiz at

Thursday, June 7

Just a quick mention...

By the stat counter, it looks like I might have hit 5000 by the end of the weekend. You readers are just fantastic for that kinda traffic!!!

What do ya think, should I give out some sort of prize for the 5000th person? Let me know in comments...

End of Bachelor Week Approacheth ...

Yes, we are down to the final night of Bachelor week at the d00d household. And I have not made cemented plans yet for the evening. I prefer to just do what c I feel like, but after last night, maybe I should stick to a plan. What happened last night? Well, it ain't Vegas so I can talk about it... I had a lot of fun. I went to the bar after work, had dinner waiting for me there (it was Sloppy Joe sandwich for lunch and I asked them to hold back a couple for me). The boys were up and I proceeded to win a game of video golf. The drinks were going down good. Just when I was ready to settle down and start my book reading (about 10) another friend showed up, and we were just having fun. I sang some karaoke, and next thing I knew it was 1:30am again, and I had a hell of a time getting my ass out of bed this morning. At least I was only a half hour late to work...

So, tonight my plans were to head to a place called 5030's, where this gal I know does the karaoke show. She and I sing duets at my regular hangout on Mondays. There's a chance my friend Ginny might show up there as well... an maybe even Pude - but she said she has family in town. I just need to watch the amount of time I am out tonight, and how early I start...hmmm, after work? Or go home first? Decisions, decisions.

The Wife and kids come home sometime tomorrow, and I honestly will be glad to have them home - well, at least the Wife. My sleep habits have been messed up all week. Plus, getting the dog to go out will be someone else's job. I still haven't found any messes in the house, but that doesn't mean anything. I might have missed it among the toys in the bedrooms.

That's all I got for today. If you need your boob pic for the day, head over to see Princess.


Wednesday, June 6

Books - Read 'Em if Ya Got 'Em!

Damn! I been shafted again! I just finished up "The Name of the Wind" written by Patrick Rothfuss. This is his first book, and when I ordered it through the science fiction book club, it said nothing about a trilogy! Neither did the book state anything about a second, nor third installment. I figured about 150 pages short of the end, that there was going to have to be more books for the story, and sure enough! I went to Amazon today to see, and even read the author's blog - it is a trilogy, and hte next book won't be out til next year (2008) and the third (2009). I have a fricking knack for picking these books out, and it irritates the hell out of me!

In the meantime, I had fifnished the "Maximum Ride" book on Monday evening. I acutally read the whole book while at the bar. It was pretty short - like I said it was made more for teens. Now I am ready to start one my friend gave me - "Dry Ice" by Stephen White. Looks interesting. Seems to be only 1 book series.

I have a couple more books due any day for a series I am reading on "P.I. Garrett" that are pretty good. By the same author that wrote the Black Company series (that I had a forever time finding book 4). And I am finishing up a "Wizard Dresden" series of novels as well. I have about 10 other books from my friend, that are mostly murder/mystery types, so I shall be kept in books for a bit.

I am still PO'ed that I never was informed of that book being in a trilogy....


These Things Always Make Me Sound Weird

Ralphd00d --

A person who likes to steal tins of tuna

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at

Wednesday Morning Blues

I feel pretty good this morning! I think I got more sleep last night, even waking up every couple hours, than I do in a normal night. I even got the dog to go outside - even though it was 1am when it happened. And yes, Freddie, I was nice and let her back in. Wouldn't want to "accidentally" have her dehydrate and die whilst I was at work the next day... though that is an idea. I was happy enough to find no messes when I got home yesterday.

So I had a good meal with the Reverend Mother last night. It's always good when you don't have to pay, plus being at a restaurant you love. In this case it was Lonestar, and I got my usual steak! That makes three days in a row I have had steak for supper. I sure am spoiling myself this week. We talked and chatted for an hour over dinner then I went home. I thought about going out, but after being out so late the night before, I decided to catch up on some reading, then went to bed about 10'ish. Aside from waking up every couple hours, I slept good. But I still wish the Wife was home. I find it hard to sleep most nights without her there beside me in bed. One of them damn marriage habits I presume.

It is barely 20 minutes into my workday, and I still have nothing to do as of yet. Hopefully something will come in soon so I can actually do something.

Okay, I am off to read some blogs. I am sure I will be back here later today - hopefully with something interesting to talk about. Or pictures. Or jokes. 'Til then, keep yer chin up and think about nasty thoughts. I do.


Tuesday, June 5

Procrastination Day

That is what I am declaring today to be for myself. I have no motivation to do anything for anyone, including myself. Hell, it was hard enough to get my ass out of bed this morning. Of course, staying out til 1:30am didn't help my old bones enough either. But I did have a good time!

So day one of Bachelor week is over, and it looks like it may be a rough week if I keep moving at this rate. I couldn't get the damn dog to go outside last night or this morning, so tonight I will have to hunt through the house to see where she went to the bathroom at. For some reason, she won't go outside for me, even if I leave the door open for hours on end. Damn dog. When the wife is home, the dog is jumping at the bit to get the door open...but not for me.

Tonight I get to go to dinner with the Reverend Mother. She called me up last night asking me out to dinner, though she didn't have a place in mind at the time. I asked if Tom, my step-dad was going, and she said not really, unless he wanted to join us. So now I know she is just helping me out so I don't have to be by myself at home, or have to cook. Which is what every loving mother should do.

Welp, I need to get on and make a couple boring phone calls I have been putting off most of the morning. After that, it looks like I may have some free time today - unlike yesterday - and may be back to post something more later.


Monday, June 4

Worn out Monday

Damn, I am sooo tired today. And I am actually quite busy with work so this will be short today. Wife and kids are gone for camp for the week, so my Bachelor time starts tonight. I am sure I will get my second wind by the time work gets out... about 2 hours. Other than that I have been struggling to stay awake at my desk. I thought I got as much sleep last night as I normally do, but maybe it was not a good deep sleep or something.

The weekend wasn't the most exciting I have ever had. I stayed out of the house pretty much so I would be out of the way of the last minute packing and laundry doing to get things ready to go for this morning. I got a couple bags of books from one of my friends, to add to the other 3 or so I haven't read this week. I am starting a new one tonight called "Maximum Ride: Saving the World and other extreme sports" written by James patterson. It is the 3rd of a trilogy he has written to a more teenage audience, but they are still good adult reads - like Harry Potter.

No major plans this week - probably do a lot of eating out since I am not crazy about cooking for one person. At least I will be able to have more reading time for a change. Seems otherwise the kids are fighting, arguing, bothering me. ::sigh:: I am going to miss that this week. Oh well.

This week may be light on posting. Work has started getting busier, but I can try to get some time during the lunch hour (if I take one) to do some jots.


Friday, June 1

New Story Posted

Finally got around to finishing one. So take your hanky and head over to the story board found by clicking here.


Weekend Boob Pics & Funnies

The Weekend Cometh ...

Friday has arrived and believe it or not, today I have been busier than I have been any other day this week. A good sign things are picking up around here! Makes me smile more thinking about it!

Before I start anything today, I want to point out the link list to the right side. There are some really great reads in there that I think you should spend some extra time checking out (unless you already have done that). I know a friend of mine here in the valley was telling me she has found a couple of links that she LOVES to read, and would never have had found them if it were for my linklist. One good one for today is Big Dick. He has gotten the keys to Neanderpundit and had one hell of a hilarious post today there. Go check it out!

Bachelor week starts Monday. That means the Wife will be doing a lot of laundry and packing this weekend - after all she and the 4 kids are all leaving. Be nice to have a 5 day vacation from them - me and the damn dog. Yes, I am looking forward to it, though I do wish I could have a vacation from home while they are gone. Oh well, I have OTL in July.

Nothing major planned for this weekend except to stay out of the Wife's way. I know tonight and Sunday will be taken care of, but I don't know what I will do with myself tomorrow. Maybe I will sneak out with a book and hit a local pub. Hell, maybe I will get off work a couple hours early today and do that today too.... In the meantime, y'all take care and don't be strangers.