Another Late Night

 Last night, I had attended a couple VFW committee meetings (one I am a Secretary for) and when they ran longer than I expected, I figured I would stop at the pub for a couple beers before heading home. Of course, I had my tablet with me, and got so involved in reading the current book, time slipped by me and it was after 1am before I actually headed home. And I could not sleep. Around 6am I did lay down in bed, and after about an hour, I managed to fall asleep, but only got about 3 hours of sleep before I knew I had to get up.

Tonight I amin bed before 10pm, feeling tired from the previous lack of sleep the night before, but it is a no-go. The tinnitus in my head is loud tonight, and just won't let me drop off. I got up about 11pm, took a couple acetaminophen and an edible, to see if they will kick in the next hour and let me sleep. Fingers crossed.

I was expecting a call from a friend this morning. He had plans to drop his car off at the dealership to get his a/c fixed before summer gets here, then we were to go have lunch at Chino Banditos (takee-outee) one of my fave places. I guess he drove over there, texted me (I was still asleep at the time). I did wake and see his text about 45 minutes later, so sent back I was free, and what time did he want to go (still before noon). Instead I guess while he was waiting to hear back from me, he spoke to his Dad on the phone, and they went out to lunch instead. No worries. But he called tonight saying the car should be ready around noon tomorrow, and could I give him a ride, so here's to hoping for some sleep so I won't be groggy tomorrow. I doubt we will do lunch, as I do want to get over and get a haircut, and some other errands done.

That's about all I got right now.

PeacE

Not Sure What to do With Myself

 It's an early Wednesday morning, and though I wish it were because I happened to awaken early, but sadly it is not. I'm still awake since yesterday. As it nears the 5am hour, I just finished typing up notes from the Post House Committee meeting (I'm the Secretary) and sent out to the Chair for approval, prior to sending out to all House members. Tonight's meeting was long, long, long.... I say that because the Chair is someone that has ADHD (squirrel!) and goes off on tangents. But tonight, he actually made some points/discussion issues on paper, and was good about it, until he asked if anyone had 'other business', in which I spoke up. He gave me a quizzical look, to which I responded, 'we have two months of tabled discussions, unclosed issues that have not been addressed, so as I voice them, tell me if these are "off the table" or let's resolve them'. Big Sigh, but I had the opportunity to remove a few, resolve a few, and bring discussion to the others. Overall, was a good meeting, though longer than I like. And I think the Chair may be mad at himself for appointing me as Secretary (previously, the position was held by no one that took notes).

That being said, and 2 1/2 hours later (typing minutes categorizing as to new/old/notes/discussion) took me awhile. I just emailed and asked for an edit, if any revisions need to be made (corrections with dates/info/etc) and now I wait. He's pretty good, and I expect a reply later this morning. Our General Post meetings are next Tuesday, and though I am Aux, I don't have to take notes, but we are at the fiscal year, and elections for leadership are taking place. Nominations were last month, and I am sure we will allow 'last minute' ones, but in the Aux, I think we are covered. Thankfully I am not nominated for anything. My Secretary standing with the House Comm is 'appointed', just as is the same with the Riders Chapter. I don't have to be elected, and as usual, no male wants the job. I guess being a book nerd gets me the job.....

Spent this last weekend down South with the Daughter and family. I always love seeing my Doodad, Widget, and Babygirl.... oh and her husband. Wife and I stayed overnight (hotel) and Saturday we all went to dinner at Golden Corral (a buffet). SIL pulled a change on me, and jumped in to pay for dinner as an Anniversary present for the Wife and I (34 years this past Sunday). I was a tad angry, as I invited them out. I'm of the mind-set that if I invite you, I pay. If you invite me/us, you pay. Well, he got me that night. But it was much appreciated. I forced him to at least let me leave the tip.

I don't know about how normal people go through life (I always considered myself off-center of normal) but lately I have been doing too much internal reflection. Recently, the Middle Son has been asking questions of me (via phone text messages) inquiring about several things. Mostly about his grandfather, and my memories of him. Then about more about me, and the years prior to the Wife and I being married. As I turned these questions over in my mind, I realize that with all my children, I never talked much about my life, prior to marrying their mother. And even those few years at the beginning, there are many details that to this day I don't speak about. The Wife knows some, and I trust her when I said she can never share, but if someone were to ask, she could direct them to me. I don't think that happened with the Middle Son, but either way, he has come asking.

...and I don't know what to do. I hate talking on the phone. Phone texts are even worse, especially if you are trying to share a story...forever typing. Sigh. I told the Son to just text me questions, and when we can meet up, I'll share the answers. But as parents, getting time with your adult children, that is sometimes harder than actually answering the question. This Son has asked me some pretty specific questions, and some I have already replied to, basically telling him to 'wonder forever, because you get no answer from me'. That wasn't easy to tell one of my kids, but sometimes, there are things that even they do not need to know about my life.

And there we have it. Life. Been thinking/feeling a lot about it lately. Medically things seem to be going well. BP and Diabetes allegedly under control (according to daily testing). I seem to find new and more things to add to the list that I 'should ask the doctor about' which will never happen, until I have to. I know much of it is due to habits (drinking, smoking, previous drug use) but I tend to mark it as old age, and this body just falling apart. In some ways, I wish I were more like RM & PT where I am more fit (regardless what you say RM!!!) for my age than I am. But that's' where life gets you when you make not good decisions in your younger years. Sigh.

Okay. I'm done pontificating this morning. It's Wednesday. Happy Hump Day.

PeacE

Traveling Weekend

 This morning we will be headed out of town again, for Tucson. My Widget is having a dedication/baptism/christening thing on Sunday. Plus Sunday is the 34th Anniversary for the Wife and I. Obviously, no major plans. I would have liked to gone somewhere other than Tucson for the Anniv, but it is what it is is.

Noting of any import to share. Still having tinnitus issues in my ear/head, though I think the ear drum has pretty much repaired itself. Maybe it is something that will never go away, or maybe once the fine-touches of healing are done. I haven't been out to the pub as much, and have not seen the guy that caused this. So truly, as I have been told, he must be 86'ed from several places now.

Guess I am up a bit early today, but needed to get a couple things done before getting the family up and moving to head out of town.

PeacE

More Boring Stuff...

 There are many things I want to say in today's post, but the bottom line is.... I am not sure how to say them.

I spoke little over a week ago, about the bathroom assault that took place. Tinnitus is my friend evidently, as it has been a constant since the event. Some days are better than others, but even alcohol cannot stop it. I find myself losing a trin of thought at times. Other times, I find myself losing balance. There is no definite thing I can adjust to, it just happens. Pretty much like life in general.....

It *was* Saturday, when the day started. I met up with RM for some breakfast at a restaurant we all generally love. Black Bear Diner usually does not disappoint. I truly had a good time catching up with RM, even though we had briefly talked on Friday, when I swung by my Brother's home (a whole 'nother story).As always, loved catching up on small talk, though most of ours were situated around my other siblings, and, yes, sigh, PT. But no matter how our conversation went, RM and I could laugh and have a good time. I really should do these breakfast/lunches more often, but then, what would we have to talk about? Know what I mean Vern?

Next weekend, our Anniversary weekend, we are headed to Tucson (again). The newest granddaughter is being baptized/christened/dedicated whatever it is called, at the church the Daughter and SIL attend. Of course we will stand in support, even if I don't know what for. I'm more worried about the SIL's parents (his dad is a jackass). Sheesh... I said it already.

I got many other things rolling through my mind right now. Most of which, I do not want to share, until I know more, but overall, I'm not sure it will make you or I a better person. Years ago, I left behind a portion of me, that needed to stay in the past, and had no future with my family, or me. Due to recent events, that persona has come a-knocking....

My mental health isn't as good as it should be. But I have a wonderful Wife, whom I share these details with, and she helps get the worst of it away. And I have a few, very good, close friends I am able to talk with, that help as well.

Right now, I'm trying my best to NOT be that person again.

I just want the ringing in my head to stop.....f'ing tinnitus.

PeacE

More Boring BS ....

 Wow. This week has definitely not been exciting. I haven't done much either. Actually, if you can believe it, I haven't been to the bar much either. I know.... shocking!

But since I haven't done much, there isn't much to write about. It is Friday, and I guess I will head to the Post here shortly. I think I might swing out to my Brother's place as well. I have a certificate and gift card for the Nephew, for some volunteer work he has done for the Post, and the Aux Pres gave him recognition at the last Aux meeting.  Still have it in the car, as I have not seen the Brother in some time. RM is supposed to be over there today as well. Brother wanted to have "cleaned house" while she was in NC this week. Meaning he wanted to try to tackle cleaning out his garage. I'm sure that went/is going well. I'm timing it so that I stop by, drop off the thing, and then go to the Post because they are open. Ugh. I don't care for the bartender they have today, but sometimes you have to make exceptions.

And with that, I have nothing else to say....

PeacE

Another Boring Weekend Update

 Not much went on this weekend. Since the event that happened Wednesday night, I have not been out to the pub (any of them). I decided I needed to get up to the VFW for part of Saturday afternoon. No one questioned me about the incident, so I am guessing no one there knew. Especially considering the only way to find out was to read my blog... since when does my Brother read my blog? I wonder if RM mentioned it to him, and he went to read about it. Either way, he tried calling for Thursday several times, and I think again on Friday, but I just didn't answer his calls, or my nephews. Related texts from them read something along the lines of "I'll mess that dude up when you find him..." and similar. It's none of their business, and like I couldn't handle my own? This guy was HUGE! I think that me being able to whip your butts, you two ain't going to do anything to this guy....

Anyways, so I left the Post, as a friend mentioned he was meeting some other we knew at my old hangout, so I met them. I lasted about a beer, then headed out. It was boring, my headache was back from the ringing in my ear. I cruised across the street to the pub where the incident happened. The fill-in bartender knew nothing about it, but said if I saw the guy come in, she would 86 him. He never showed. I read for a couple hours, had a couple beers, then went home.

Youngest spent the night with a HS friend last night. Sunday night, took the Wife to Chili's for dinner, and now we are back home. No major plans this week. Saturday meeting RM for lunch, then to a birthday party at the Post. Sunday will be our monthly Riders meeting. Pretty boring.

Tomorrow is St Patrick's Day, or as I call it, Amateur Night, due to all the young people drinking too much and being stupid. I think I will go up to the pub for a bit in the afternoon, and leave before it gets late. Avoid them youngsters!

PeacE

Full Moon (No, My Pants are Definitely Pulled Up)

 Interesting post title, eh? I wasn't really creative about it, and you'll understand why when you get to the end of the post...but still....

The Wife was off of work today (low census on patients, meaning they didn't need as many people) so we ended up going over to Metrocenter (long story, but it used to be a mall, now closed and being torn down, but many restaurants around the area) to try out a new place that is in it's Grand Opening stage. It is a Chinese buffet, and is literally across the street from the current one we go to on occasion. Already weird, I know. Anyways, we went there. Lunch price was fine, fewer food selections, but they had all the goodies (to me) so I piled a plate high with meat: chicken teriyaki, kung pao, sweet & sour, pork sausage and onions, egg roll, and a big scoop of green beans. Food tasted better than what I recall from the other buffet, plus, for dessert, they had the ice cream machine (the ice milk pull the handle to dispense). The Wife and I enjoyed a good lunch, then headed to the AZ Biker Leather store (so I could get my vest, and patches done). Well turns out they were closed due to vacation, but due to resume regular hours Thursday (guess where I will be).

Once home, Wife and I talked a bit about plans for ourselves for the rest of the day. I mentioned I was going to the pub, as I expected to meet up with a buddy I had not seen in about a week. I did, we caught up, and another friend joined us up there as well.

It was during that time frame, that DUMBASSERY hit. My Brother sent me a pic of him at the ER. Turns out he had been shot by a pellet gun (wound in the shoulder area). What? How? Why? Oh, he told his 23'ish year old son to shoot him. I. Kid. You. Not.

About that time, I looked up at the sky, and though we are getting some cloud cover (expecting rain tomorrow) saw that the moon was a FULL one. I mentioned to my buddies, it's a full moon, what sort of crazies are we going to see tonight. Little did I know....

One friend left for home about that time, and it left two of us sitting there at the pub. I needed to relive the bladder, headed to the Men's. As I was going (yes, penis in hand, stream flowing to the urinal, back to the door) a guy walks in and gives me a haymaker, flat-palmed, against the right side of my head (hitting the ear) which throws me into the wall. I stagger, and turn to ask What the hell.... and see this guy who is like 6'9" and looks like he was born/raised to wrestle cattle.... and he is yelling at me about calling him a "bitch" on Tuesday night.

At this I have some points that need to be known.

1) Yes, I was there Tuesday night. I have seen this particular person several times over the past several months, and NEVER have I exchanged ANY words with him. So to be accused of interrupting a conversation and call him a bitch? No, never happened.

2) I'm 53 years old. I'm overweight. I use a cane. I'm peeing in a urinal, with my penis in hand, and this huge guy sucker-punches me upside the head. Something wrong here? He wants to kick ass, but does this to a handicapped old guy, behind his back, while is literally holding and doing business. Yeah, stay classy. You are oh so tough taking out an old guy in that manner. Wouldn't even face him to throw the punch....

3) Yes. Busted eardrum (best I can tell). Hearing is very minimal now on that side (not much worse than before, but still worse). No bleeding/cuts. Slight bruising along the side of my face. Had some blurry vision from the right side eye for about an hour, but it cleared up. By the time I got home (let's just say it was in the AM hours) I had the Wife check my pupils (before I told her what happened) and they were fine. After the story, she noticed some slight swelling on that side of my face, and thought it might actually bruise, but I don't care. Nothing she can do about the ear... not that I used it to listen to her anyways (ha ha).

Can't sleep. Starting to feel some pain in the neck (probably from being hit on the side of the head so hard) and no balance/dizziness/vertigo, but can tell the large percentage of hearing loss on the right. Know how we "pressure-check" our ears by holding the nose, and 'blowing out'? Well, earlier, it felt like wind blowing out my right ear (busted eardrum). At this early (late) hour, I just tried again, and it didn't act like before, but I also didn't force it, so maybe the drum is starting to heal already.

RM, sorry you had to read about my escapades on here, but I'm not really ready to talk to anyone about it (except the Wife). PTSD? I don't think so... This would never been considered my first foray into getting my ass kicked. I would have loved the chance to see it coming, versus getting sucker-punched from behind.... I have many friends, that would gladly help me retaliate in whatever way to this guy (physically or whatever) but I'm not pursuing that. I let the bartender know what happened, and that I wanted him 86'd for LIFE (the owners of this place own like 6 bars in that area of town, so he would out of all of them).

I had a time-frame of my life, where I was not a good person. There were tings done that I'm not happy about, whether I was part of it, or all of it, I was just not pleased about it. After tonight's "incident" those memories came to the fore-front of my mind. I know I don't want to be that person, not now, but my basic anger, and reactionary mind-set about the whole thing.... I would kill this MF'er without thinking twice. Attacks me from behind, while I am holding my privates and pee'ing. What a man. Dead man as far as I am concerned. Not by me, or by my suggestion. Just is.

Full Moons and crazies. Dumbasses we call family (my Brother, My Nephew). <raising the shot glass> and to the bad memories from bad things we did years ago, only to re-surface because some bully sucker-punches in the bathroom.... Heh. Big Toast... take two sips.

Peace