... and then it shit on me.
The Liver Specialist was the longest awaited doctor appointment I have had over these past few months. Monday was the day! The Wife was off work to help be decipher all the medical jargon, and help me answer the correct questions with the correct answers instead of tearing off on tangents about ... whatever. Usually about the crap I went through at the hospital, etc. Either way, the appointment wasn't overly long. They wanted to do an U/S but as it had been a week, I was "re-filling" and there was too much fluid for them to really see what they were wanting to see. So, they sparked an appointment for January now (with fasting prior to). They ordered a full menu of bloodwork. Of the two 'laxatives' I take (to drain the water - which obviously is not working - I actually told the Doctor that I peed more prior to September regularly than I do now with pills to make me do it. It's like it just takes water from my body and throws it in the abdominal cavity. So, new pills, with taking multiple times a day versus once as before. The Doctor did ask one correct question: How much are they draining when I go in? I explained if I can get in at like 2 weeks, it's about 11+L, but over that time period it goes higher. I mean, 16.6L the last time I was in the hospital at that was at 2 1/2 weeks. He said that is a no-no. He set me up standing orders for therapeutic draining no more than once a week (as needed). Today I called the hospital - they are booked solid through December - no way to get an appointment. I explained that I would have to use the ER then, and the Scheduler agreed with me, saying 'Do what you need to do to help you'. And then I booked the four Tuesdays in January, in case I need them. I can cancel a couple days before if I don't need them.
So all this happened prior to noon even. And it is the Wife's birthday. So, as she wanted, we went home and took a nap. She had some things to do in the afternoon, and I think it was about 6:30pm when I asked her if she wanted to go out on her birthday, or move it to the weekend. She commented that I am limited to what I can eat, I said I can do salad anywhere. Finally she said no, as it was getting late enough, with waiting on crowds, just not worth it. So I guess will will try this weekend.
Youngest Son has had a problem the past few days, but I think I will save that for tomorrow for fodder.
Friday is our VFW Riders meal - lasagna, garlic bread and salad. I signed up for the salad and dressings. Am going to try to make the dinner, as RM And PT will be there, but will depend on how I feel. Saturday morning is our Riders Toy Drive I should make an appearance out, but again, depends on how I feel. With the pressure I am feeling right now, I have a strong idea I will be entering the ER around 9am Sunday morning, and sending the Wife on her way. Nothing on my calendar until the 19th, so if the hospital keeps me a couple days again, I am okay. I'm packing a bit better this time too, just in case. Birthday dinner will have to be Saturday I guess.
Monday, after the appointment, I put my phone on do not disturb until today. Several friends and family tried reaching out for an update, but I just didn't have one. I also was feeling a bit in the dumps with how the whole thing went, and just needed to wrap my head around some things. It's getting hard to not just quit some days. I am in no way shape or form saying I am suicidal, or delusions of death, etc. I'm just tired.... of not seeing positive reactions/results, feeling like I am being not told all the info when it comes to my treatment and care. It is frustrating for me. Just as I am sure I am frustrating to my family at times with my shortness of breath, fatigue, tiredness, and any other ailment that hits me.
Sigh. One day at a time, they say. Well, I'm impatient.
PeacE
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