When Overwhelming Feels More Like Impossible Odds

 ... That's when RM would say something along the lines of, 'Drop on your knees, and ask God what you should do'. I know I could not deny her that fact. And, if my Faith was anywhere close to my Mother's, I would do that.... but it ain't. I'm not. I might have actually made it to church this morning with the Wife, but... I am no where near that level.

I spent a few short hours with one of my best friends tonight. He leaves Tuesday morning for North Dakota, where he is returning to a similar job he had about 10 years ago, as a Prosecutor, for a county as an Asst State's Atty. He was good at it years ago, and just due to circumstances, had to return to AZ years ago. Now he is returning to there, ready to take on the world. I am so happy for him. But I will miss him quite a bit. Yeah, we got text, email, facetime, etc. etc., but it's not the same as sitting next to each other, clashing beer glasses in a toast.

Overwhelmed. Oh help me find a starting point..... I know I have mentioned a time or two before, that with some of the multi-roles I have within the committees for the VFW, I feel I get under/behind things, and the overwhelmed feeling creeps in. Well, I still get it, and this month has been starting earlier. I want to explain they why, and wherefores, but I think right now it is better if I just not.

Over this past weekend, I finally was able to visit my Middle Son, and his partner, and the new Grandson (my first). Since the baby was born, the girlfriend has been in "over-protective Mom Mode' and it has caused at least one argument between my Son and I. But I held my breath, and finally was able to "schedule" a time to go to their apartment and visit - and finally hold - my first grandson. It was only a short visit - about an hour, because the Son was just home from work (works overnights) and the girlfriend was up early (allegedly the baby was fussy) so the Wife and I did not want to take away too much time for them to get more rest. I admit, I got to hold him the most that hour, and he got his 'Papaw nickname'.

Over the past month, as I fumed, waiting to be able to actually see/hold my grandson, I tried picking out a nickname early. With the granddaughters, I got to see them at least early enough, and as I held them, their 'nicks' came out easy. But being how this was taking forever, I tried to pick one early. It don't work that way. I had three or four nicknames picked, but once I got this boy in my arms, they all disappeared. I remember the Middle Son looking at me, and asking, 'Dad, got his nick yet?' And all I could say was, leave me alone, and let me enjoy this minute. Maybe 15 minutes before we left, the name Doc popped out at me, and so it is. Maybe he will be some kind of doctor some day....

So, in the course of four days, I have been on a roller coaster ride of self. From feeling 'bossed around' and what leadership wants me to send out (since I am a secretary) and my own moral/ethical beliefs, to feeling overwhelmed at requirements expected of me, to over-enjoyment of holding my grandson, and repeat. It has been flipping crazy. And add in a Best Friend is moving out of state as well. Sigh. Nobody said being a Saint was easy, and I ain't never professed, or even alluded, to me being one, but life has ben pretty messed up of late.

I have a feeling, this month is bringing changes for me. I have many, many questions, for leadership in all venues of my Post, and depending on some answers, I am sure will determine how I decide to continue, or not, my service (voluntarily) with each group I work with.

Such fun.... Wish you were me?

PeacE