Second Thoughts and Anxiety

 The past week or so, I've been thinking about traveling back to Indiana to visit family, etc. The original idea was a trip for my brother and I to have 'some time together' - whatever that means. Of course, the distance being what it is, flying is the fastest, and would allow the additional time to visit longer/more - I think you know what I mean.

Until a couple days ago. Then every time I started thinking about flying back, I would start feeling some anxiety. Not just nervousness, anxiety. My chest would start tot tighten, heart start beating harder and faster. If I changed my train of thought, it would go away, only to return if I started thinking about the trip again. Was it the flying? I admit, I don't care for airlines (rip-off pricing, etc) but I have flown many times with no worries. (even now I am starting to feel it start up) So I tried to re-think the whole trip. Since I was looking at about a 2-week window, what if we drove instead.

Nope. I still get the anxiety starting up.

I haven't bought tickets. I haven't planned anything more out. I have a feeling, that I will be cancelling the idea of the whole trip - or maybe just push it to next spring, or something. My brother may be disappointed, but he said he was going to be tight getting just airfare and food monies for himself (I was covering the rest). Maybe it would be best all the way around. I think I will the whole thing sit through the weekend, and see what happens then. If I am still getting these weird vibes, I'm cancelling. I always trust my gut feelings.

Today will be long. I'm already working, so I can be off early this afternoon. Though I do believe that within the first couple hours, the workload will be completed. I have no idea if there will be additional work soon, or how soon, or if at all. So I may be idle most of the day, or have to check back at a later time. Edit: It is barely 7am, and already they have nothing more to add, yet want to have us check back in a couple hours. Really going to be a long day.

Doctor appointment this afternoon. They will probably be increasing one of the diabetic meds, as my numbers are not completely down to what they want them - but closer. 

Youngest has band practice tonight, so I will need to take him. Then I am supposed to swing by a friend's to help the son fix his bicycle (my friend has no idea how).

Ugh, I'm tired already.

PeacE

Do I Got the 'Rona?

 I hadn't realized it had been pretty much a week since I last wrote. Things around here have been busy (to me) this past week.

Last Sunday we did get to have dinner with Daughter and family. I invited RM & PT, so they got some time with them as well. I know it made RM happy, and I was happy to share the time with them instead of 'hogging' them to myself. I was generous, as Washington won their game against Green Bay (that's what I say anyways). Youngest went back to a semi-regular marching band week: Tues night practice, early mornings, Friday night game. Add in the competition (on the other side of town, go figure) today. Thursday night one of my buddies took me to a Grand Canyon Univ hockey game. I know nothing about hockey, or next to nothing, yet had a good time. Afterwards, we went to the pub and it was college night, so the team showed there for some of the Halloween dress-ups. Friday night, whilst the Youngest was at an away game, the Wife and went out for dinner, then relaxed at home. Today she will be driving across town (a good hour) to watch the Youngest perform, but I don't feel up to it.

In fact, I am not feeling totally great at all. Yesterday, I woke feeling nauseous, and just 'out of sorts'. Nothing would come up, or out, and I skipped my meds just because I didn't want possible extra nausea. All day I felt like this, add in hot/cold flashes, cold sweats, and tiredness. I laid down for about an hour, no napping, but felt a little better, so still went to dinner with the Wife. After eating some food, I felt a bit better, but this morning am still not back to regular. I'm guessing a stomach bug, or flu variant. I am pretty sure it is not the 'Rona.

I feel like I have way too much to accomplish in a short time, and some of it I just cannot completely do myself. Our tree out front had died of unknown causes earlier this summer, and we were able to get it knocked down, and out of the ground. It needs branches trimmed down (and trunk) to about 4 foot lengths so they pick it up in bulk trash next month. Which needs to be done first, as the grass needs mowing, and trimmed, as well before some asshole neighbor "reports" it and the city sends out a notice of grass being too high (very personal peeve). I just physically cannot do it all, and the Youngest has been busy with school/band he has not been any help. Middle Son tries to help when he can make it over. Maybe this weekend we can get his help. Sunday may be able to get Youngest to help as well.

No news on the work front. Still waiting to hear of any new projects. I feel I may have to send a reminder that I am available, just to get their attention.

Have three books I was approved for this last week, so will be busy reading in my free time to get the reviews done. One was a book I kind of was hoping would be coming out soon, the other two were just a couple picks that sounded good.

PeacE

So Much For Vacation....

Already Wedsnesday of our supposed Vacation week. It has been a busy one, with us trying to get as much stuff done that we don't normally have time to take care of.

Last Sunday we got a new-to-us mini-van for the Wife from RM. So Monday we went and got the registration/title work done. We did have a nice little breakfast at McD's, too. Tuesday my Doodad and I got to spend some time together, as we went up tot he park to play, then stopped for ice cream. Rounded out our afternoon with the movie "Coco" in which she fell asleep. Which was good because I was beat. Took the Wife, Boys, Daughter and Doodad out for dinner.

Today is my youngest Son's birthday. Turns 14. Have a plumber scheduled between 12-6pm to come look t the water heater. Been having issues keeping the pilot lit. Wife has CPR recert class mid day, then some shopping for a gift for the Son.

Thursday I take my car to the shop and drop it off. Has a few smaller electrical issues to be addressed.I think from there the rest of the week is clear. I know at some point I need to get out and find some pants. All I have a re shorts basically. I figure I can try to look a bit more presentable at the new job when I start. Hoping to find some decent khakis or blue jeans.

Mid week and I am already worn out....I must be getting older.

PeacE