Second Thoughts and Anxiety

 The past week or so, I've been thinking about traveling back to Indiana to visit family, etc. The original idea was a trip for my brother and I to have 'some time together' - whatever that means. Of course, the distance being what it is, flying is the fastest, and would allow the additional time to visit longer/more - I think you know what I mean.

Until a couple days ago. Then every time I started thinking about flying back, I would start feeling some anxiety. Not just nervousness, anxiety. My chest would start tot tighten, heart start beating harder and faster. If I changed my train of thought, it would go away, only to return if I started thinking about the trip again. Was it the flying? I admit, I don't care for airlines (rip-off pricing, etc) but I have flown many times with no worries. (even now I am starting to feel it start up) So I tried to re-think the whole trip. Since I was looking at about a 2-week window, what if we drove instead.

Nope. I still get the anxiety starting up.

I haven't bought tickets. I haven't planned anything more out. I have a feeling, that I will be cancelling the idea of the whole trip - or maybe just push it to next spring, or something. My brother may be disappointed, but he said he was going to be tight getting just airfare and food monies for himself (I was covering the rest). Maybe it would be best all the way around. I think I will the whole thing sit through the weekend, and see what happens then. If I am still getting these weird vibes, I'm cancelling. I always trust my gut feelings.

Today will be long. I'm already working, so I can be off early this afternoon. Though I do believe that within the first couple hours, the workload will be completed. I have no idea if there will be additional work soon, or how soon, or if at all. So I may be idle most of the day, or have to check back at a later time. Edit: It is barely 7am, and already they have nothing more to add, yet want to have us check back in a couple hours. Really going to be a long day.

Doctor appointment this afternoon. They will probably be increasing one of the diabetic meds, as my numbers are not completely down to what they want them - but closer. 

Youngest has band practice tonight, so I will need to take him. Then I am supposed to swing by a friend's to help the son fix his bicycle (my friend has no idea how).

Ugh, I'm tired already.

PeacE