We all know that the holiday is coming up, and we are all busy doing that damn shopping thing, and getting the presents, doing the parties, doing whatever seems the right thing to do at this time of year. We shrug it off, and complain about - Oh we gotta get so and so - damn, I forgot that niece - F! What about the mother in law... and the rest of the family now....Sheeee-ite! If nothing else, it sounds a bit like my household.
Until tonight.
I am an alcoholic. Tonight I went to the bar, actually, early this afternoon. I came home, about 1:30'ish, the family were all in bed (par for the course). I went to the computer (where we generally place the daily mail) and there was a cut-out Christmas card of Santa, laying on top of everything. It wasn't the greatest coloring job, and there was no envelope. So I booted up the computer, to log in, and whilst it did the electrical thing it does, I opened the card. I found these heart-breaking words inside....
"Dear Family, I love you and I know you love me. But sometimes I think you don't love me. Dear family please be nice to me. I hope you be nice to me. Merry Christmas. Love (my son)."
This is from my 2nd son. The middle child. It's hard to type when yer crying, so bear with me.It's damn near 2 in the morning, I can't just wake him up, and to know this is how he feels... that he feels neglected - as a parent, it rips me apart. I think back - where did I not spend equal time with him and the others? Where did I go wrong?
There is no right answer.
Posts here are probably going to be few between for awhile. ALL my children, need to know I love them all, and there is time for all of them. The blog can wait. I know many of you understand, and stand beside me on this. I appreciate that.
Look forward to seeing you in probably a couple weeks.
PeacE
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