Got to Stop Meeting Like This

... or at least at this hour of the morning. This makes night, what, three? Four? in a row of being up at 3am. Considering I went to bed around midnight, the lack of the proper number of hours if sleep I should be having is starting to makes it toll felt. And tonight's extra added feature is I feel dehydrated... like I just cannot get enough fluid to drink. Already have gone through a 52-ounce drink, and getting ready to top it back off and start again. 

My Doodad and her family made it up yesterday. They were a bit early, and were able to swing by here prior to their dental appointments, so I was able to visit briefly. I do not know what plans they have regarding the rest of the weekend, but hope to see them sometime today.

If I don't pass out from needed sleep.... pr spend the day in the bathroom because I have drank so much.

The things I have to look forward to.

PeacE

Misdirected, Anger I think

I'm fucking pissed off. Sigh. Deep breath. Yeah, I'm still pretty upset, and liable <not incriminating myself>.

I have 4... yes 4... brothers in laws. The oldest just happens to leave in state with us. He is socially vocal about his opinion. The other 3, well, for now... they are out of state, and don't pertain to this issue...just yet.

Let's start... social media is Facebook, so if you don't know me there, who cares, right?

Brother is making a stand about not wearing masks, in a state that has the highest daily contagion rates. Yes, he doesn't live in the Valley, where the numbers are more prevalent, but he lives in a county, of the state, that still has positive reports. I mentioned before that many of the cities of the Valley-area decided on mask use in public, with certain relaxations for certain things. Mask off when at a table at a restaurant, but wear it to your table, etc.... little things.

BIL says masks aren't needed. He lives a bit north of the Valley, in PAYSON. Look it up. Smaller town, but people can get infected anywhere.... Masks aren't needed. Then he mentioned his sister.

That's my Wife. The Wife. He brought her in his conversation about how masks are not needed, yet, she, his sister, THE WIFE, had covid. We even told them up front so the "family" knew what was going on.

Pissed off like a mother fucker. That's me. The Wife spent some time writing out some long multi-paragraph response about how important masks are, especially in the healthcare setting. She let me read it before posting. I agreed 100% with her.

Then after her post, I posted that I agreed 100% with her, and as her family, if she is ever used as an example again, I will fucking hurt you.

Threat? Yes, definitely. The Wife came back in and asked the same. I agreed. It gave her stress and anxiety to have her own brother call her out to support his ideals, when he knew she had been sick, but was playing like it was a "nothing" disease. Fuck him. I would gladly rearrange his face if he were to show up here... hell, guns are nice (not making it a threat online....)

Now I have a Wife pissed off at me, because I backed her, and told her dumbass brother to fuck off....

I get to see Doodad this weekend. It's the little ones that keep you from just saying fuck it all and ending it.

Somebody get some PeacE

Today's Agenda

Well, there literally is not anything on that list. I probably, more than likely, just wasted that piece of paper by putting that heading on it. <shrug> So what?

I really have no plans today. I think the Middle Son is planning on hiking with a friend this morning up one of the nearby hiking trails up the mountain. The Youngest will probably sleep in. I have the alarm set for 7am so it is not too hot for me to get out and water the patches in the front where we are trying to get Bermuda to take.

No idea what to do with the rest of the day. Kinda nice in a sense.

PeacE

Eye See Clearly now ....

My eyes are getting worse. Even sitting here writing this I have to focus to see what I am typing more than I recall ever having to do before. I know myself, and the rest of the family, all are overdue to get eye exams done. Which means new glasses for all of us I am sure. But our vision insurance isn't the best, though it does help quite a bit. Financially, it just isn't easy. So I will make do with stretching the arm out to read something in hand, or tip the head up to use the bifocals for now.

Not too much going on today. Spent most of yesterday going through job searches. Sent out a couple resumes, but am not holding my breath. Today I'll look and see if any new ones came up since yesterday.

PeacE

The Day After ... Part II

I've stewed. I have thought on it. I have slept on it. I am still angry, and somewhat upset about it.

I'm talking about the job I left on March 2nd. I have so many mixed up feelings, I'm not sure about anything, let alone the actions I want to take.

Let's start with the story, as I know it....

Back in August, maybe September, of 2019, I let me superior/manager/higher-up now that this was not a thing I could continue doing, that the physical part of the job was giving me more issues. I already had a work comp injury with my back, and my knees were giving me more problems. Not saying the knees were from the job, just that I physically am older, and not in the prime of my life to keep this up. In our discussion, he asked what were alternatives. I expressed desire to stay with the company, and see if we could hire a younger person, more able to to do the physical work, and maybe we could create a position where I could transition between Parts (physically) and Parts (ordering, and paperwork) with a lead-in to help inventory control. I was told at the time it was not an option as the company could not "create a position" for me. This went all the way through February, when I gave notice I was finally leaving.

March 2nd came, and I left. No second thought about trying to keep me, and I admit, when I gave notice 4 weeks prior, I told them that unless a new position was created, I was not staying.

Clean. Proper. As far as I knew, no bad feelings, except they wished I wasn't leaving.

Fast forward to this last Thursday. Late in the evening, I get a call, through Facebook, from one of the guys I worked with at that location.  I admit, he originally called to show me his mohawk (funny thing) and just BS, because we were friends outside that place of work. Then he tells me, since I left, early March (see above) they have hired 3 (THREE) people in the Parts Dept, to replace what I did alone before.

Yes. It's good to feel they had to do that to replace how good of an employee I was.... but what about when I asked, could we create....? I was told no. Now, THREE people have been hired, full-time, and all I asked was ... was for one. 

I am not responsible for company decisions when I am not there, and I admit, it feels good to know, they had to hire 4 people over all to do what I did before as one person. Kind of ... now you wonder why I asked for help, or more money, and either way still got the job done with less than 5 hours overtime?

I am going back there this week at some point. Going to stop in long enough to say "hi" to the boss, and spend maybe 15 minutes about how he misses me and had to hire more people. I might even ... I lie. I WILL bring up about how I asked for  help of ONE person, and life could have gone on. Then, me and the guys from the Reconditioning dept, are gonna go have a beer.

I will say.... if they offer me $20/hour to come back.... I'll think about it. We could get rid of 3 of thoe people, and run the dept with three of us....

Just saying. If they were smart, they'd offer me the right amount to come back. I think $20/hr is a good starting point.

PeacE

The Day After...Part 1

Yeah. It was horrible. I got no cards. I got no presents. And I had to pay for dinner (with 2 boys, instead of 4 kids) so maybe I got off lucky. We ended up at Outback. Yeah, by the bill, wasn't so lucky, except none of the other kids were with us.

Bitch, bitch bitch. Yeah. But I did have a nice evening. Touched base with the oldest Son. It was good.

At the end of the day, I'm happy as can be, though I do miss a couple of kids.... but LIFE!

I probably messed up this year. I did not send the HFD message to my Step... PT (Preacher Tom for those that don't follow regular). I admit, it was because I did not think to do so. RM sent me a msg at like 9am (thanks for waiting til then) to me... but why is my mother sending a HFD to me? I ain't in no way... I don't get it. Then friends, and other family starts in... I'm like... I ain't yours. Fuck off. It's a damn Daddy thing, and I sure as hell ain't yours, so quit.

This ain't Kentucky or Arkansas.... or worst side of KC City....

Just saying.

Happy I got to see my oldest Son. And spend that time with my Wife and Youngest. Good Time.

Peace

Father's Day 2020

It's June again, and this Hallmark Holiday is upon us again. Though, I will admit I personally would be very surprised if I got any card today. Yesterday, Amazon delivered my present from the kids that I ordered. The Wife had told me to order what I wanted ( a new headset with mic for my gaming needs) as I had been spending time researching best buy for the money. Also got a 2-pack set of straps for the head gear for my CPAP. Exciting, I know.

So what does Father's Day 2020 see going on? For me, hopefully dinner out tonight at a local steakhouse. Invited the oldest Son, but haven't had confirmation he will make it. Daughter and family will be up this coming Friday, but not sooner. Middle Son out of town camping.

Otherwise, AZ Gov. Ducey left it up to the cities of the state to decide if they wanted to require the wearing of masks in public, due to the daily increase of positive testings of Covid. Phoenix now require them for public, as well as many surrounding cities here in the Valley. Across the state I have heard more like 50% of places in requiring or not. Most of the smaller places don't bother, unless it is more of a tourist spot. I asked the Daughter to make me a cloth mask as she had made several a few weeks back. But I won't have it until Friday. A week not being able to go in public? Hardly. I have a couple "sunscreen head/mask" thingys (not sure what to call them) that will work in a bind.

I read just a bit ago a statement the city of Apache Junction (southeast of the Phoenix area) that said: 

"I've stated this is up to the individual. If you feel you are at risk stay home. I also hope that folks don't get upset at businesses that require PPE's as that is their right also. People need to take responsibility for their own lives. I think it is sad that some put their safety in the hands of a Mayor, councilmember or Governor. We must learn to live in the modern world on our own eventually. There are always going to be risks and illnesses out there and we will get through it. Also everyone is essential and every job is essential to providing for a household."

I like it. If you are a father, May you have a Happy Father's Day.

PeacE

Taking It Off

I think I am due for a haircut. Definitely a trim up of the beard. For the past few years I have been clipping my own hair, trimming that black, grey, and white forest down to a quarter-inch. the beard... well, it has changed shapes and styles through that time.Lately (read: the past year and a half) I have been letting the beard just grow. I think I have trimmed up the edges twice in that time, just to keep split ends from getting worse. So, today, I think I'll spend that 45 minutes in the bathroom with the clippers and get the job done. Afterwards, I am sure I will look older, as more grey/white will show than the black/brown.

I'm up a bit early today. Seems I woke around 3:30 this morning, and though I did give it the old college try, I just could not fall back asleep. I'm sure I will be awake until at least 7-8 before being able to nap a couple more hours... and that is if I am lucky.

Father's Day is still coming on Sunday. Middle Son is going camping with a friend. Oldest Son did text me that he was able to change up his work schedule and would be able to do dinner. I had asked him last week about it... trying to combine his birthday dinner (from mid-May) and Fathers Day. The Daughter and family still have no idea when they will be in town next, so am not expecting them. Though, it would be a great surprise!

The Reverend Mother has written several times over the years about how much she misses seeing her kids, or grandkids, and great-grandkids. Over the past 2-3 years, I think I am beginning to understand what she means. I have noticed it a bit more over the past 7 months with the oldest Son not living at home. Though the Daughter has been out of the house years longer. I miss my lil Doodad and I truly wished they lived closer.

Enough of that this morning....

PeacE

Hump Day

Wednesday is here. I could care less. I was out a bit later than I meant last night, which means I had a couple drinks more than I probably should have had. This morning I was sluggish - not hurting mind you, just sluggish. I went back to bed and napped until close to noon. Even now I still feel tired, at almost 2pm. Maybe it wasn't the drinking, but am coming down with something. I don't know.

Dr. saw the youngest yesterday. He is basically done with everything related to his arm break. Waste of my time and insurance for a 5 min appointment they could have called and did one of them video ones.

I think I am off to read for awhile.

PeacE

One Last Look

Here in about twenty minutes the youngest Son and I are headed to the doctor for his last visit for the broken arm. I don't completely understand why there has to be this visit, considering the cast came off about 3 weeks ago, or so. In my uneducated mind, I suppose it is to verify that the "holes" in his arm from the external pins have healed and not gotten infected. Either way, I am sure our portion to pay will be another $75 give or take for this visit. Our costs after insurance is dang near meeting our family deductible this year alone for this incident. The Wife says this should be the year I check about my knee and the possible surgery or replacement. Me, well, me and doctors don't care for each other. Rather, I don't care for them.

Father's Day is this coming weekend. The middle Son is more than likely going camping with a friends' family...so now were are down to three of us being home. Maybe we will still do a dinner out. I don't know.

I did pick up that little evap cooler from Home Depot for $40 the other day. Started it up yesterday. I spent too much on the dumb thing. Using it in the one room, with the door closed (mainly to keep animals out) I noticed maybe a five degree difference overall. This device is more of a "personal evap cooler" you would put at your work desk (or counter - whatever) and have blowing on you all the day. That is about the only major cooling I felt from it. I set it so it blows on the Wife while she is at home on the computer...

Guess that is about all I got today.

PeacE

Random Crap

It has almost been a week, and I still pretty much have nothing to write about. Or is it that I just don't feel like writing? Sometimes it feels more than the other. Other times not so much.

Father's Day is in a week. I have never been much of one for holidays, or any sort, and Hallmark holidays make me angry. For some strange reason, this year this holiday is making me feel weird. I have four kids: Two are pretty much grown and on their own - Two still at home. I contacted the Daughter (lives out of town) and they have no idea when they will next be up in our direction. the oldest Son, lives in town but works many hours, never knows if he will have the time off work, or won't be called in. Believe me, I contacted both this week. When asked why, I told them for Father's day... maybe we could do dinner out. Doesn't look like it is happening. And I feel a bit sad about it all. An Unusual feeling for me.

Thinking of going to Home Depot today to buy an evap cooler. It's one of those little ones that only cools like 45 sq. ft. but would help make a difference in one of our rooms. The Study/office was an add-on to the home (another bedroom) many years ago, is made of block, and is on the west side of the house so catches a lot of the sun in the afternoon/evening. We have a ceiling fan, and an oscillating fan in there, but it still gets mighty warm. The a/c for the house is not much use,  as this was added on to the existing ventilation, and basically has no out put for heating or cooling. Wintertime is nice back in the room (my opinion), The Wife and I kind had the same idea about this cooler last night... and for $40 bucks am willing to try to see if it makes just enough difference....

The middle son has been invited with a friend's family to go camping next weekend. He just graduated HS, so he'll pretty much go. But it made me think that I never took the family camping. Or fishing. Things my father and I loved to do when I was growing up. Most of that reason is because it is AZ and so hot in the summer. Fishing is a pain unless you drive 3/4 the state away and near a lake... otherwise all you do is burn and get heat stroke standing on the lake shore to catch tiny bluegill (if you are lucky). Camping you have to travel up-state to get the elevation to where it is cooler, and then you have to luck out to get a spot. Fires are prohibited most of the summer due to the dry weather. And as we all got older, it got harder and harder to do the physical things needed to get things together, etc.

I guess this week is going to suck. I'm feeling bad about stuff I didn't do with my kids. Feel bad because no one can get together just because. At least the Wife said I could buy my own Father's Day present online (need a new headphone/mic set for my Warcraft game).

PeacE

Another Monday

Monday has come around again, and as usual, I don't care for it. Not because I have to return to work (I wish) but just because it signals the start of another week, where something else will go wrong.

Saturday evening the Wife and I went out to dinner. We almost didn't. We decided on Longhorn Steakhouse near our home. Turning into the "Mall" entrance, we happened to see several fire trucks, and an electric company utility truck. Didn't think too much about it as where we were going was still 1/4-1/2 mile around the way. We get to the restaurant, and walk to the door. There we are greeted by the manager (I'm guessing) saying that the power was out, and they had no idea when it would be restored. Immediately we thought back to what we had seen, and thought, awww man.

Decided that since power was out around the restaurant area there, we would go across the freeway and try Outback. En route, one of the signal lights (near the Mall area) went out, but didn't change our idea to get out of the area. At Outback, we go in, and due to the social distancing measures, they were full, had an hour wait, and were not taking any more due to them closing at 8pm per the Governor's curfew rule. Sigh. We decided on Denny's a couple miles away. While heading in the direction, we passed Garcia's, and changed our minds. Luckily, we only had a 15 min wait, and they also were closing at 8pm. By the time we headed out the door after eating it was 7:50. Overall was not a bad night.

The weekend also found us out of black ink for the printer. The Wife ran up Staples about 6pm. they were already closed. Then looked online and found Walmart a few miles away had the cartridge we needed in stock, so drove there. Shortly after leaving they were back. Even though store hours said open til 8:30, they were closed as well (near 7:30-8:00) so no ink. Today finds me taking the youngest Son to a dental appointment at 10:30, then we are going to Staples to pick up the ink.

Bad things happening? Yeah. While at Outback on Saturday, the passenger side front door of my car, the lock/unlock toggle switch "popped out". Was able to put it back in place, but now it doesn't work at all. Trying the Driver side, it only unlocks, and won't lock any doors, so have to open, lock and shut all four doors. The key fob doesn't work at all (hasn't since I got it). I will be going to our regular car care place and seeing when they can get it in to get fixed. Be my luck will need two new sets of lock switch mechanisms.... sigh.

It's definitely summer here in AZ, with temps over 100 most days. Not bad as many years, but still too hot to do much in regards to outdoor things. The middle Son was nice and mowed the lawn this morning. I had been debating when to do it for the last week, and just couldn't get myself to do it because of the heat. Even if I did it in the morning.

Monday. It is just one of those days where you want to draw a circle on the desk and write "Bang Head Here" and do it repeatedly.

PeacE

Nothing of Interest

Not much to gripe about today. Aside from the 2am hour and I am awake and writing this....

Protests continue. Riots not so much. Lack of knowing what Congress is doing as media is focused on BS.

Just another day in paradise.

Kinda ticked this morning. I play World of Warcraft, and have in recent weeks joined a Facebook group, which in turn has a couple 'Guilds' on one of the 'worlds'. It's a 35+ age group, with many probably in more the 40s & 50s. Had some person get through the approval process to join, and they "stole" many items from our guild bank. It happens.... But then they took the time, to go through several of the members on the roster, and wrote small notes on several of them that were not very nice notes. Most of our notes are our names on FB, but many were changed to vulgar things. One of my characters was hit, I'm a "spazbot fucktard" so I'm just so impressed. This person also added "guild events" to the calendar like today is "Retard Day" and other similar type things. Needless to say, I am sure he won't be on for long once the GM sees this. Luckily one of the late night players caught most of this and was able to drop that character's access level for the time being.

That whole situation just makes me angry (like so much these days). By age 35 you would think you would be more of an adult than this. I mean, if I were angry at someone in our group, or at the group as a whole, I wouldn't stoop to this kind of activity. I'd probably write a couple notes to the GM and maybe say a few choice things in guild chat, then leave the guild. Why does one feel they need to deface/belittle people and steal things? Sigh.

Welp, I am off to bed again to try to get a couple more hours sleep....

PeacE

WTF?

This morning I am literally just shaking my head at the amount of fuckery going on in the world (not just the united States). I mean, this crap is so fucked up, I can't even wrap a sane thought around any of it, in such a way I could make a convincing thought of supporting, or denying it. A Conspiracy Theorist would be having orgasms over the possibilities that exist for all this crap happening in the world. I do have some general thoughts on some of these subjects... and I'm sure not here to convince anyone, as even I cannot make up my mind what is right and what is wrong it seems.

George Floyd, Minnesota, and protesters. This is probably 90% of my bitch today. Let's start world-wide. Why the hell are people "across the world" doing protests for this alleged incident that happened in the US? I think RM said something yesterday about seeing the same picture of protesters supposed somewhere here in the US, and then was supposedly in France. I recall this happening a lot with pics during the Covid issue - people on beaches, etc. Now, why are we protesting in many states of the US over this? And the looting? Because you are so upset over this issue you need to loot and destroy property, allowing the government to enforce curfews to give them more power? Sigh.

I am so mixed up about everything. Pictures of Floyd's "execution" are weird (license plate on police vehicle saying "POLICE"? Cops filmed not talking to each other, ambulance that no one called showing up and no one ever verifies that Floyd is dead). Just way too many weird things. I have even started seeing "articles" saying Soros and the Dems are behind a black man's execution because of Biden's gaffe recently. I wouldn't put it past them... but really?

Another that gets me is the protesting/looting going on all over the country. Dallas I have seen "alleged" pictures showing pallets of bricks sitting near intersections of where looting have occurred, as if placed there for use. Admittedly the pics show no signs indicating a construction company, or site, but is that the angle of the picture, or photo-shopped out? 

And last night started reading about how there was 700 earthquakes near Yellowstone Park in one day,or some such crap. I read more into that one, and discovered they experience 700-3,000 of them in the same time period... so it isn't as bad as media is making it. Speaking of...

Media. That's where much of this bullshit is coming from. Sparking things among the sheeple and mind-controlling mass amounts of people that can't think for themselves. Who controls the media now?

I want to not read/see media, but ow else am I to get any information on certain things? How do I know which to believe and which not to believe. What is fake news, which is bad reporting? Which is government controlled to force a certain viewpoint for a certain result?

Sigh. It really is tiring. Sorry for cussing so much RM.

PeacE