Wednesday, July 13

One of Those Weird Ones

I just woke up from having a very weird dream about my Dad. I can only remember some of the basics.

I'm about 20, and this woman suddenly contacts us (my sister, brother and I), informing us she is our step-mom from a marriage to my Dad from years before (Note, Dad is passed away as he did in real life, and I am guessing from after the divorce with Reverend Mother, and before the one with my true step-mom). The letter somehow included some pertinent facts (which ones escape me now) and concludes she wants to meet us, and raise us herself. (Why raise us herself, I have no clue - like I said I was about 20 in the dream).

It then switches to Tennessee where RM's side of the family were known to do big family get-togethers. My siblings and I are there, and so is this 'supposed' step-mom. She is winning the hearts of all my distant relatives, on both sides of the family. Excluding some that are not there, mainly my grandparents on Dad's side. (Why Dad and Mom's relatives were mingling long after their divorce, in Tenn. is beyond even me). At one point I got all childish, and exclaimed I would have nothing to do with her, and promptly threw a fit, walking off from the event. I get a bit fuzzy here on the details, but something about walking a long ways, and driving a car in a tunnel, that intersects another road in a tunnel, and having to back-up and try the turn a few times. Then I arrive at my grandparents' (Dad's side) and am 'sat down and given a talking-to', telling me I am selfish, that this lady was really married to Dad (though why it was all secret is still a mystery).

This lady (the supposed Step-Mother) shows up, with a younger version of my Sis, and Stuman, and I agree to speak with her, alone. We are walking off to a some place quiet, with no one around - turns out some park rotunda and a picnic table, in the desert. I tell her I don't need her, as she was never there in my life anyways, and how I am over 18 and am living my own life, that my grandparents or other adult relatives have no say in decisions that concern me. She says she understands, and just wants me to understand about the relationship she had with my Dad. I ask about why it is so "secret" and no one knew about it. I am told it is not because she was a secret agent, or in the witness relocation program, or is some kind of rogue terrorist...mainly that it was something they both knew would not work out. Though they communicated all the time via letters. I bring up the fact that  never once saw any letter from her. I get a story about how Dad even told her that he destroyed most of them so no one would ever know. Then she reaches into her purse, and pulls out an envelope with my name on it, in Dad's writing, and hands it out to me saying, "Your father knew you would be the hardest to convince of our marriage, and the circumstances that happened with the choices we made. Maybe if you read it in his words, it will help you understand."

At this point, I woke up. I think the dog climbed over me onto the bed or something.... I am not sure. But I laid my head back down, and tried to re-capture that 'almost dreaming' feeling, where sometimes you can get a dream to kick-start where it left off....

... and got nothing. So I got up and decided this was a weird one and I better get it down before I forget most of it. So I never got to read the words my Dad left me, about how this woman, many years before, and he were married. Or the story of why I should believe her, and the sudden appearance of her in my life. I mean, c'mon! They were supposed to have been married years before, but she looked like Olivia Wilde....
So she looked younger than my years (though seemingly 20 in the dream, I had the almost 40 thing going on in my head).

Was she some sort of  forgery artist, that could mimic my Dad's writing to fool me? Or better, work for a group that needed my belief to get whatever info they needed in perpetrating this deception? Maybe she really was some rogue agent and that is why their tryst was so secret.....

I guess I won't ever find out ....

PeacE

1 comment:

Reverend Mother said...

wow - maybe you have been watching too many spy stories? I would have loved to know what was in that letter to you! Go back to sleep!