I knew as I got older, that things would change. I expected the normal progression of things, ya know, children grow up, out of the house, get married have kids of their own; become a grandpa, get slippers and ties and socks for gifts at all pertinent holidays. One could say I had it figured out well.... if we were back about 30 years.
I had a "talk" with my daughter, who is going away to college this fall, this evening ... late this evening. Yes, I had been drinking, but, bear with me.
We talked a bit about this coming school year, we talked briefly about the following year - more about how she should concentrate on being an RA next year, than having an apartment with friends. (She wasn't thrilled about that).
I brought up the subject about when she leaves in a couple weeks. More direct, what we are going to do with her room. The general talk had been about putting 1 of the 3 boys in there, etc, but her whine was about the things she could not take to college. I explained, we could put them in storage containers, and stack them in a corner of the room.
Needless to say, from there, it just got nasty from her. I was accused of "boxing all of her life" away, and that she would have no place to stay when she came home next summer. (sigh)
I gave up. Like so many times in raising her, I just gave up. Within 5 minutes, I had a nasty message directed at me (and conveniently copied to her mother) using the "F" word strategically in how I was a waste for her.
Yep. Really strains the meaning and full measure of the parent-child relationship. So, being the person I am, and expecting her to "grow into the adult" she is supposed to be, I responded. I told her to "Grow Up. Use words you understand that can make people understand what you are trying to say, not cuss at them like they are retards." Of course, I still cannot believe that I said basically that same thing, without using swear words my self, but truly I did! For the at least 5 "fuck" (or derivatives) I did not even include a "shit", "damn", "fuck", or any other words considered 'foul' by most people.
Sometimes I amaze myself.
I love my daughter. I'll be the first to admit, no, I was not there for many things in her early years... I was wasting my life on stupid drugs. I admit it. And no matter what, I can't get those days back, and I know it. Never tried to.
Guess that is why she won't listen to common sense. I never had a chance to teach it to her before she was 4.
PeacE
2 comments:
It is the age she is at. They think they know EVERYTHING. She is going to get a wake up call and REAL soon. Especially if she decides she wants to rent an apt with friends.
There is a transition that deals with a lot of emotions when leaving home. Whether for school or on your own...you want to know there is a place for you to come back to. I suggest you let her know when/if she comes back home there will always be a place for her...but her room WILL be "occupied" as you cannot put the whole family on hold because she wants/needs to feel she is still part of the family. Yes...it is called growing up.
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