Tuesday, April 10

Am I just that sick...? Or what?

This morning, amidst the tons of paperwork, the files, the free time I have available, the truth has leapt from the mouth of the raging beast and planted itself in front of me, roaring it's ugly voice and preparing for the leap that shall drop me to my death. Yet I dare to stare down it's maw, to show not a mote of fear that I may be feeling, and to plant the seed of doubt and discord upon its back. There is now hope though, as this creature knows it has me, as it does many others, and will only tighten its fangs around the jugular, not even mercy in a quick kill.

This creature is valley fever. No, not *that* valley fever, that doctors can't explain, this is more of that " I need to get out of the valley and away from everything" type feeling. I swear it is what I need. It has been since January that I had the Mexico trip. OTL won't be until July. I need a trip out of the Phoenix area where I can spend the night somewhere and do whatever I feel is relaxing. Maybe a overnight trip to somewhere like Casa Grande and party in the bars. Hell, I don't know what I want to do except get out of town.

Too bad that is not possible at this time. I just had last week off due to illness, think they would give me another week because I said I still needed to feel better about things? Ha! That would be wonderful though ...

So since I am sitting here suffereing through another afternoon of doldrums, and dragging you down deeper into the darkness with me, what should we do? Attempt to untwine the madness tangle until we realize there is no end to it? SHOUT out to the demons that run amok in the hell hole of my abysmal mind; DARE to FLAUNT and attempt to CONTROL what no thing has been witness to, nor heard of in any time period of any living thing. To BREAK beyond the barriers of the known, and REIGN the the great unknown and decide to call myself GOD! Dammmmnnnn. Sometimes I feel so conceited.

And you thought it would be safe to read my post here today? (Laughter) Child, you must be prepare yourself for that journey, as it may be your last.

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