Friday, October 26

HE Did NOT Just Do That ....

The oldest son is a freshman in high school. He's 14 years old. Like many teenagers, he doesn't care much for school. Well, let me correct that. He doesn't care much for school academics. I am sure he likes Band, Theater, and Drama classes. I'm pretty sure he likes the girls, too.

Anyway, he had been in the advanced classes in junior high, and automatically, they put him in the advanced class program in high school. He did not want to be in the advanced classes, as the homework was "harder", but the Wife and I knew he was capable of doing the work, so we did not remove him from them. Within the first two weeks of school, he had been dropped from the advanced English class to regular, as he never bothered to inform us he was to have read a certain novel over the summer and be prepared to discuss it, etc. the first of school. Okay, we were not happy about it, but fine. So now he will be in the regular English curriculum. Then we found out he wasn't turning in work for the Honors Bio or Honors Alg classes. Needless to say, shit hit the fan.

As a parent, I want my children to excel. I want them to push themselves to the boundaries of what they can do. But I understand teenagers can sometimes be lazy, and that was exactly what was going on. He didn't want the advanced classes, so by not doing the work, he was hoping we would drop him out of them. Wrong. The Wife and I decided that the only thing we could do at this point, short of holding his hand everyday, in every class, was to have be accountable. I made up an assignment log, for him to list the daily homework, due date, etc. for the classes there were issues in. I also contacted those teachers, and explained he was to have them initialize each day, to confirm that he had the correct homework assignment and due date written down. He started off on this grudgingly, and for the first several days, he was only getting the initials of one teacher, but finally he seemed to get it in his head that things were not going to get better until he complied. There were other repercussions as well. Grounded from the computer (for entertainment - he could still type up papers), no social activities (going out with friends, etc) were among the main ones.

After a few weeks of doing the log, and his missing assignments completed (many for 0 points) he seemed to have things back on track. Then he stopped getting the teachers to sign it. Every couple days I would ask to see the log, and finally told him, each week it is not done, adds another week of being grounded. Give me two weeks with it signed by all teachers every day, and I would stop making him complete it, as long as his grades stayed up where they needed to be, and he didn't start having missing assignments. After a couple weeks of him of doing that, I changed it to each day he doesn't have it signed is a week. Needless to say, as of right now I think he is grounded through Easter.

Tough taskmaster? Maybe. Bad parent? I don't think so. I mentioned the Wife, and RM the other day, that if had half a brain, he would have a friends do some initials of the teachers in different inks. I know I would have not have questioned it at all, as the only way I would have of verifying it is to talk to the teachers everyday. He hasn't though of doing this yet evidently.

I don't know what to do about his failure to comply to the instructions of his being in trouble. If he would just complete it, he could get the limitations/restrictions lifted. The Wife and I had been talking the past few days about what are we to do about the situation, but had not come to any solution as of yet. Then there was this morning.....

As usual, the Wife went to wake the son up, so he would have time for breakfast and to get ready for school. Today is another day of zero hour, where I take him early. As she opens the door to wake him, she sees a light coming from his bed area. Seems he had brought in his brother's laptop computer last night, and after lights out, had used it for internet access, and who knows what games, etc. Then he lied to his mother, stating first that the computer was in the hallway just laying there (it was put up in it's case, and NOT in the hall) so he brought it into his room to make sure it was still working. Then he said there was a warning that hap popped up and he was looking on the internet to find out what the warning was for (according to the Wife, the warning is something about to expire in 10 days). Either way, he had fallen asleep with it on, and that was how he got caught.

He was lucky I had already taken him to school. I was livid. Now I am just sort of broiling, since I can't do anything until tomorrow basically. He is staying after school as he has an early call time for band tonight (the last football game). Tomorrow he has their last competition (unless they make State) so I won't be able to really get into the whole thing then. Maybe it will have the effect of cooling off my temper, though I am sure there will be plenty of it there when we get around to talking about this. Gives me time as well, to work out with the Wife about what ADDITIONAL punishment is going to happen.

I wonder how long he has been sneaking the laptop in his room at night. Right now I am more angry, but I am starting to feel some disgust at how he has pushed things this far, and now will have to face what may be the severest punishments we have ever had to give out....even if I don't have a clue as to what it is, or how many, how long, to what extent.

Welcome to my weekend.

PeacE

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