Kill 17 People Today

You might be seeing me in the Nation's headlines tomorrow, because that was the first thought in my mind today when I first became aware upon awakening today. I'm going to kill 17 people today.

Why did it stand out in my head? I have no clue. I been up now for about two hours, and that count now has dropped to 15, by my count.

I never said kill, as in being dead. Maybe 'shot down' would be a better term. I don't know, but that is how I am counting it. Two hours, two down. Kind of makes me wonder where the rest of my day is going.

Last night was my pool league, and once we were done, the rest of the guys headed out, to home I presume.    A friend I had not seen in awhile had texted me, so I went to another bar to meet up with him. Next thing I knew, I was walking in the door at like 3:30am'ish and ..sigh. Yeah. Up again about 5:30 to take the oldest boy to school. Bonus was, that being Thursday, it is the "specials" day for a couple groceries near us, so I checked with the Wife and after dropping the son off, was able to be the first one to get today's specials.

I think that was the first 'kill'. Supposed to have some pork country style pork ribs for $.79/lb and looking over all the pork product, I ended up arguing with the meat person, until they got someone that spoke English. The only packages they had were marked $1.69/lb which I pointed out. 'Oh, they will adjust it at the register' he says. I pick up my valu-pak limit of 2, and do some other shopping. At the checkout, I missed her ringing them up (I was loading the cart with other bags) so I as usual was checking my receipt on the way out. Whoops! Pulled a 360 and went back in. They didn't adjust the pricing. I politely gave hell to the "help" desk, and after 15 minutes of me pointing at the AD, and at the price on the meat, I think the spanish-speaking pendejo finally realized I was saying they over charged me. Kill number two. And I got $9.96 back from their overcharge.

Next, I headed to the other grocery near us, as they had a couple good deals on meat that the Wife pointed out would be good for me to pick up, since I was going out. I walk up to the door, checking the hours, as there was no usual morning crowd. I thought I might be too early (it was like 7:15). Posted new store hours said a sign, open at 7am, so I am like, cool. I go to grab a cart from outside, and realize, there are no carts outside. I thought, WTF. I walk in, see the carts there by the door, and go to grab one, but then look around. The store is EMPTY. Not just of people, but aisles were EMPTY. I glance down the main row, and see the meat dept is completely papered off. I walk up to the register person, and the manager who is standing next to her, and ask, 'Are you closing?'

'Yes," the manager says. 'We are only open until Friday.'
'With, what?!? the only one partial aisle I see of paper goods?' I ask.
'Whatever is left in stock before Friday,' he says.

I count that as kill number two. I know I would have rather used a 12 gauge, but the look I gave was probably good enough. In what I thought was his dying breath, he mentioned the next closest location of this food store chain (which was further than I wanted to go) and I politely told him 'Well, fuck you.' Yes, I know my English is so elegant. What can I say, two hours of sleep and I am no ambassador.

I called the Wife, told her about us missing out on the other deals and the reason. She was surprised, too, and no one had heard about this store closing. I promptly came home and fridged the meat I had already bought. Then sat her in front of the computer to contemplate what to share with you today. It's just after 8am, and there are still 15 targets left for me today. I feel sorry for any fucker that calls, knocks on the door, or just gets my dander up reading a facebook status the wrong way.

You're lucky I don't see you reading this. But, HEY! Glad ya stopped by!

PeacE